"Mate, do you know who I am?" Harry hiccuped, slamming his nearly empty glass of whiskey down on the bar and pointing drunkenly at the very confused server.
"I'm, uh, sorry sir-"
"Sorry ain't gonna cut it!" Harry threw his hands in the air, but this caused him to fall off balance, making him windmill his arms around for a little bit before he managed to grab onto the stool next to himself. "I'm alright." he assure the chair. "Ab-so-lute-ly perfecto." He blinked for a few seconds, before rounding around to look at the server.
"Now, I'm only gonna tell you this once-"
"Sir, I said I was sorry for bumping into you, and I do have other tables to take care of-"
"I'm Harry-bloody-Potter, the boy-" He paused. "No, man. I am a man, amigo, don't forget this." He lifted up his whiskey and drank a big gulp of it, effectively finishing it. "Uh, w-what was I saying?"
"Sir-"
"Ah-ha, that's right, I'm Harry-bloody-Potter. Fantastic, absolutely fantastic." Harry blinked. "Mate, I'm like- I'm like- I'm, I'm." he paused for a few seconds to think. "I'm like the Queen of England mate, but like, more male and less curls." he pulled at his hair to look at it. "Maybe not less curls, more wavy. Wow, I have really soft hair."
The server inched away. "Sir, I really should get to delivering this order-"
Harry waved him off. "Go on son, and complete your quest. I shall not keep you any longer. But take my advice to heart."
He didn't give him any advice, but the server wasn't going to mention that. "R-Right. Thank you sir."
"Go save the world mate. I did it once. I, uhhhhhhhhhhhh-" Harry's head lulled to the side. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-"
The server left, while Harry, who had managed to fall forwards onto the bar, empty glass at his side, had fallen asleep. He stopped next to his manager and pointed him out.
"Weirdo at the bar, don't try and wake him, but please just get him out of here."
The manager nodded. "Will do."
Harry woke up on a bench about five kilometers away very confused, very hungover, and very cranky about twelve hours later. He also wasn't wearing any pants.
"Oh no." he whispered, his eyes widening. "Don't tell me I went stripping again."
The hell is this? I have literally no clue. Enjoy drunken Harry while I'm supposed to be working on my QL.
I don't own HP.