It was maybe two or three weeks after the battle of Robotropolis that I returned to the jungle of Southamer. I had been here before to seek the help of the Wolf Clan in our fight against Kintobor. Technically though this was not official in any way and I elected to go alone. I took my experience with me and I told nobody, most of all Sally in the coming years. I had perfect reason to then and this record is beyond secret. If you're finding this now, then I have likely died and it has been quite some time since I finally bought it – maybe ten or fifteen years, depending on how the lockout lasts. In any case, this was an odd day for me, but one I will never forget.

I flew down using a local charter airline to Reoh. Naturally the occupants of the city were looking at me in an odd way. This was about a year after we arrived at Mobius, but you'd think the civilians would be far more accommodating of a Human by that time. Not quite. I still got suspicious looks from the people there, mostly felines generally, though several echidnas called the city home as well. Reoh wasn't why I was there though. I was dressed for an expedition in the jungle, and I traveled light. My pack may have only weighed twenty pounds, which is saying something since our rucks were probably two times that at least. My clothing was light and breathed well in the humid air.

These jungles feel like home to me for some reason. A far cry from the sprawling cities that stretched into Upstate that I grew up in, the jungle breathed deeper than the tens of millions that lived on that one small stretch of land. It was alive and verdant. I was armed with a thick set of hiking boots rated for jungle treks, a strong pair of sunglasses to keep my eyes protected, as well as my semi-auto.

The Eagle was for my protection, if not from people that actually wanted to kill me than from the jungle itself. I was here before and I know what lives in there. I knew better than to draw it out in populated centers. I had about three mags in reserve, each slotted with seven rounds of .50 caliber. The gun was probably overkill, but it won't leave me.

I left Reoh on foot, choosing to walk away from the city in a way that I could understand. Besides, I had been told that the one way to get to the Wolf Clan was outside the city proper in the outlying villages. I couldn't speak a lick of Portuguese, which the people of this country adopted from the Human settlers that were part of the Lost Million a millennia ago. The hike was good for me though. I was breathing the air in. Marches were common for me back on Talahan. I liked the pace. I was a sight to see – a Human simply walking around in these parts caused onlookers to mutter something about me. Old women stared and some of the men laughed. Younger felines approached me with caution, yet their ears spoke for them. They were perked and their eyes were wide. They were clearly curious about me. They spoke in Portuguese to me while they kicked a soccer ball with them. I replied in the closest language I could speak, which was Italian, which I could barely speak at that. Simple phrases, like 'I don't understand' or asking them if they spoke English. Sadly they shook their heads. I kicked the ball around with them for a little while before waving to them. I got toothy smiles as I walked on my way. They were maybe ten or twelve, so at most, about nine years younger than me. It made me feel older than I was.

The village I needed to be at was a full day's hike. Soon the roads stopped being paved and were dirty and dusty. Relatively common cars were still on these streets and sign postings showed locations that could be reached from branching paths. I became more of curiosity the further I went. I think these people thought I was a shaved Mobian. These Mobians of this universe stood close to my own height of about five or so feet, give or take. This made any interaction somewhat familiar to me. Their faces weren't that of animals really, but of people. I think the eyes did that. Intelligent eyes; Human eyes. Every detail like their rounded pupils and the visible sclera made it seem like I wasn't speaking to a common animal but an equal. I've known this though – I've worked with these people for close to a year now. I consider them as Human as we are.

I wasn't sure the feeling was mutual though. I asked some people about the village I needed to be at – Avampa. Several waved me off, muttering in their language. Me in my wisdom, I forgot to bring an Interpretor with me, so I wouldn't be able to get the real time translation of their speech. That was fine. I worked in situations like that before. Soon, one pointed out the path to me. Some Italian sounds close to Portuguese, even this dialect of it I was hearing. I hiked up the indicated trail as the sun was starting to set in the West. I still had some light to work by. The moon was only half full but full night didn't set in until by the time I reached Avampa – a quaint little town with maybe twenty or thirty buildings in it. Almost all of them seemed to be made of plaster and some of wood. It really spoke to the poverty of the region. The people seemed happy to see a visitor, regardless of whether they were Mobian or not. A young feline shouted something to the others about me. I learned that it was custom here to personally welcome newcomers with a kiss on the cheek, male or female. This seemed similar to European tradition to me, so I went along with it. I was not prepared for the large muscular lynx grabbing my head and pecking me on the left side of my face. He laughed and slapped my back and said something that I interpreted as 'Welcome, friend'. Even a little girl gave me a kiss on the cheek – what a guessed was a cheetah with eyes nearly as big as her whole head. She seemed shy until her parents pushed her forward. She leaned in, barely touched me, and then ran back to her parents, tail swishing. She seemed a little scared of me. I couldn't blame her. I looked nothing like the residents here. I asked the people about the charter, a man named Vanko. I was quickly pointed to an open-air bar. The larger looking ursine was waiting. He had big arms, was wider around the middle, had lazy-looking but friendly eyes, and to my complete surprise, not only spoke English, but was a Cockney.

"Right, I suppose you want to head out right away?"

"Yeah, please."

"It's gon' take some drivin'." He said. "What you doing heading all the way out into the bush?"

"Seeing a friend."

"Look, mate, no offense, but what would a Human be doing being friends with some of the Wolves?"

When we got to his truck, I pulled out my dogtags and let him look at them.

"Oh." He said scrutinizing them. He put two and two together quickly. "Well, tha' makes sense then, dunnit? You was one of them boys on that ship then that's been hanging around here. Marine, eh?"

"The very same."

"Top work, son. Kicking Robotnik square in the arse back in Robotropolis."

"You heard about that?" I asked him.

"Course I heard about that, mate!" he laughed, slipping into the driver's seat. I pulled in next to him while tossing my rucksack into the back. I checked to make sure the gun was still secure while not drawing attention to it. Vanko seemed to know I was business regarding the matter, but I didn't want to annoy him at all. While friendly, I don't think a bear like him takes kindly to being threatened directly or otherwise. "We 'eard about it all the way down here! Your lot stormed the place and chased the king prick himself off the planet! I'd kiss you meself for it, but I dunno if you swing that way, mate."

"Yeah." I said. "That fight wasn't fun in the slightest. We lost a lot of good people there."

I remembered a pair of twins. James and John Gershwin – both rabbits who had been killed in the battle. They certainly helped our advance as we moved onward. We had only known them for a few hours, but it definitely left an impression when we lost Jimmy and then Johnny afterward. I dislike open engagements for that reason. Lots of people die at once.

"Oh yeah, I hear you, mate." Vanko said. "I fought in the Great War you know. So, forgive me if I seem a bit… erm… distant… or hostile even. You being… you know, kind of an Overlander."

"I'm a Human." I made the distinction.

"Right, well you kinda look the same, you know."

"Stunning." I said sarcastically. I've seen a lot of that as well in my time on Mobius. Lots of people were afraid of me, and I've been attacked more than once for it. Accidents of course, but tell that to a few scars I picked up because of it.

"You look beat." Vanko told me. "Get some rest. It's still a long drive. You're lucky me trading post's out a ways there."

"You live out here?" I asked.

"Beats the 'ell out of Mercia." He laughed. "Good food, good women, good air… good for me 'ealth." He pat his belly and grinned. "Here, you want a swig of this?" He pulled a flask from the glove compartment.

"You keep booze in the car?" I asked.

"You see any cops anywhere?"

"To your health." I said and took a swig. The taste was indescribably strong. I kept it down, but was almost in physical pain. "Oh fuck man! What is this?"

"Moonshine! Made it in me backyard! How's it taste?"

"Not sure. It burned my taste buds off."

Vanko slapped my back and suddenly I began to feel tired. The alcohol didn't help at all. I don't know what the hell was in there. I don't usually drink, so I was flat on my ass inside of twenty minutes. By thirty, I had fallen asleep.

By the next morning, we arrived at the trading post a few hundred miles away from the city. The road was rough and was not well kept at all. Vanko told me as I woke up that we were now in wilderness, though several people claimed malleable kingdoms here. "You got a piece, mate?" he asked me within five minutes of waking up.

"Got a handcannon in the bag."

"Right, I'd get it if I was you. We're outside of government jurisdiction."

I leaned over to the bag and grabbed the Eagle. I brought out a magazine and slapped it into the well.

"Oh, that's nice." Vanko said. "Where'd you get that?"

"Back in my own little war. Long story. Don't like telling it."

"Aye, we've all got our old shames."

I racked the slide on the gun and the heavy caliber magnum round slid into the chamber. The hammer was locked back and ready to shoot, but I made the gun safe. I wasn't sure if I was going to run into any more Harpies like I had seen on my last trip here, but I was ready to kill them if they got close to me. Harpies were the failure of evolution that came from whatever started to change the colonist's creatures into what turned into Mobians over thousands of generations. Turns out birds don't take Human DNA well.

Vanko's trading post was a modest thing. It was a simple log building that he probably made himself. It seemed well suited for the jungle and even appeared off the grid with its own power supplies. The building was even in a clearing, not too dissimilar to where we were on our first trip here close to a year ago. Vanko killed the engine and let himself out there.

"Welcome to my humble abode away from the cities and whatnot."

Like a good soldier, I assessed the tactical value of the location. Building in the middle of a clearing seemed a poor strategic point unless the building was tall enough to see into the surrounding area. I was thinking like I was back in the jungle. The adrenaline was amazing. Despite what that shithole planet had in store for me, I was alive. I was as alive as I was back then. I closed my eyes and found myself back when I was younger. The fear, the shame, the sadness I felt along with the pride, the patriotism, and the fact that I had told that planet to go screw itself as I walked from it all a stronger man than before made me feel like I was king of the damned universe. Then Vanko touched my shoulder. His palm was open and he tapped his thumb to his forefinger. He didn't charge me before because I think he knew I was good for it. I was.

Then being a Lieutenant, I was paid quite well for my position, not to mention the danger pay from OMEGA. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small roll of local currency. It would be enough to carry me back.

"Aren't you afraid of being attacked here?" I asked him. "Being in, you know, a place without jurisdiction?"

"Nah." He said. "I'm a pillar of the society. Everyone comes to me and I'm the link to the outside world." Vanko smiled. "How do you think the lot of these people get their supplies? Mini-states like them don' even have the means to make 'em. They come to me, son! As such, I am neutral in all wars and of disputes. Killing me solves nothing for 'em."

"Got it all planned out." I said, nodding in appreciation of his foresight.

"Entire tribes will go to war if someone even harms a hair on me gut. It's happened before. Not the wolves of course, but some of the other groups around here. Anyway. You'd best be off if you want to see your friend. Head straight east from here. There's a path I started in that direction. Follow it, and you'll make it there in maybe four or five hours."

Vanko gave me a few bottles of water to get me down the trail. I appreciated the gesture and promised to actually buy something from him when I came back.

"Yer a real bloke." He said. "Right, get moving then. Hope you find what you're looking for."

He watched me go as I went into the trees. After that, the noise began to surround me again. Bird calls of different types and the buzz of insects. Shapes moved in the canopy as I walked along the worn path that must have been travelled dozens of times. I walked further, and then it all came back at once. The feeling of being in this situation. I felt vivid memories. I felt my skin crawl. I smelled gunpowder though there was no fight anywhere near. I saw flashes of my life before. I didn't notice it right away, but I was crying.

Why? I wondered? Was I crying for my former life? It couldn't be. That was war. The jungles of Talahan V were not my home… or so I told myself. It was the first time I left the sheltered world of my youth. This was where I became a man through baptism by fire.

I had walked constantly over the last four or five hours using a compass in my watch. The sun was still bright even through the treetops. I had my sunglasses on, and now my handgun was strapped to my leg. It was fully armed and ready to go and I could pull it out of the retention holster at a moment's notice. I drank some water and made certain to make sure the bottles went back into my pack. I had to respect the jungle around me. I might have even been pretty Buddhist about it, but this was a sacred place for the people that lived here. I needed to respect it and their wishes. Yeah, I'm not being preachy, just considerate.

Soon, I recognized trees. The jungle changed somewhat, as if I were bordering on a more traditional forest. In truth my four to five hour walk had spanned not only about 15 miles from where I started, but also about two thousand feet upwards. I had crossed into a cooler region that was less jungle and more forest as I knew it. The foliage was still thick and plants from the lower floor were still common, but thick trunked trees greeted me. The anxiety left me somewhat.

Thirty minutes later, I felt I was being watched. I took a quick look around. I didn't see anybody, but I knew better. I was getting into familiar territory. I heard rustling, and then I knew for certain that I had finally reached the Wolves' lands. They were sloppy that time. I heard them moving around. I didn't take my gun out of the holster, but instead I got on my knees and waited. I didn't move, didn't acknowledge their presence, but in the end, they came anyway, possibly after only five minutes later. I think not moving confused them somewhat. It wasn't a cultural think – I knew very little of their customs. Five wolves, all female, came from the shadows. They were athletic, sleek an each had braided black hair. All of them were various shades of grey and all of them held bows. They nocked arrows and waited. I made no movement. I wanted to make no sudden moves. I waited for them to speak first. These wolves had contact with Knothole in the past. They all should speak some form of English.

"Who are you?" One of the archers asked.

"I'm a friend of Lupe's."

They dropped their guard at that. I had spoken the name of their leader. They seemed confused and spoke in their own language, but then ordered me to my feet. I got up slowly and asked them to take me to their village. They nodded, but eyed me suspiciously. I didn't know everyone in the village, so it was a sound move. Three stayed behind me and their leader, a woman with smoke grey fur and black hair stood in front of me, telling me to follow her.

I don't know what I thought when I saw the village again for the first time in a year. It seemed somewhat different, as if the wolves seemed to be making massive improvements to their homes. New buildings were there, many of stone, and I could see some crates marked with what I was certain was UEG markings. The wolves must have been trading with Knothole, which in turn was trading with us.

Vanko was making quite a haul indeed.

"You follow me now only." She growled at me. It wasn't a long walk. I remember the way. Before we actually went into her hall, Lupe emerged by chance and happened to see me. She was thin, as all the women were here, but she was muscular. Her bare shoulders and arms were testament to this. She didn't seem any different than my last visit. For a mother, she looked to be in impeccable shape.

At first the wolf seemed furious an outsider was brought into the village without forewarning, but then I think she recognized who I was. Removing the sunglasses tended to help, but then her eyes flashed to my leg and the weapon within. Then she knew who I was in an instant. She reached out and grabbed me in a tight but quick hug. The other warrior looked absolutely stunned and couldn't believe what happened.

"Friend!" she said at once. She probably didn't remember my name, which was fine. Understandable. I had not been here for some time.

"I don't know if you remember me." I told her. "My name is Chris."

"Of course I remember you. Your kind helped free our world!" She bent in for another hug. She was strong. Very strong, as if the feeling of my lungs being compressed weren't making sense already.

"Are you well? Last I remember one of our scouts accidentally shot you."

"I am well, Lupe." I told her, briefly remembering the sting of embarrassment more than the pain. "And you? You look amazing."

She took the praise well. "I have been honing. We all have been. My village grows thanks to your people. We have been growing bigger and stronger! Many strong pups were born here as well this past year. We have been blessed by Aurora in both our fortunes and in our hearts!"

"I am happy for you." I smiled. "I hope your village prospers."

She asked me to follow her. She dismissed the warrior who still looked like she had no idea what was going on.

"We are almost a true state of our own. We need time though to accept this."

"Your people don't know how to use all of this, do they?"

"No." She admitted. "Strange machines. They clean water and are run by the sun itself somehow. My people are distrustful of machines you understand."

"Of course."

"But they will help our lives and our children. We will need people to teach us how to use them. Electricity. What a strange thing – lightning that powers our homes."

"You'll get used to it." I told her. It really was good to see her again. I sought Lupe really. I wanted to see her for her wisdom. Besides her fighting prowess which I witnessed first-hand, she was the first to tell me about who I was and how I… had something missing from me. A warrior knew a warrior. But I think I sought her because she was the first to really give me that wisdom and really mean it by doing so. Psychologists, Medics, they say these things because it's their job and there's always distance. I didn't get that with her, and I was grateful for it. "I wanted to talk to you."

She looked behind me. "You came all alone?"

"From Reoh."

"From Reoh?!" She said suddenly shocked. "You came all the way from Reoh?"

"A little on foot."

She grabbed arm at that and started to take me somewhere. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"You need meat!" she said. "You must be absolutely famished! I will not accept you coming to my home hungry!"

"I didn't come all alone really! I got some help from someone named Vanko."

At that, she rolled her eyes. "Now I need to feed you to get that swill out of your tongue."

I was kind of hungry. Well, absolutely ravenous actually. I had not eaten a bite since I stepped away from Reoh besides some protein bars for nutrients. Basic MRE stuff they feed us in the field. You eat enough of it and eventually you start to like it.

Lupe did not accept no for an answer. It was late enough in the day for recently killed game to be roasted. We went to a central fire pit where many wolves were sitting and talking. From the way some of them looked at me, they probably thought she was going to throw me in the fire herself. But instead, she sat me down and soon forced a huge cooked haunch of wild beef into my hands.

"Eat." She commanded. "Eat and rest your feet, Human." She sat down next to me and spoke in her own language to some of the wolves around the fire which burned warmly. I honestly don't know how these people do it in high humidity weather. Maybe the lack of heavy clothing had something to do with it. A lot of them wore traditional clothing, which were light robes. Men were generally shirtless though some had vests. Women were a bit more covered around the important parts. Lupe generally wore what I guess could be a dress of some sort. Something fitting of her office. The other wolves seemed to be more interested in me. She pointed at the sky. Some of them tilted their heads looking at the spot she indicated. I think they began to get the picture as several started smiling in delight.

I also saw several instances of 'modern' clothing. Some wolves wore t-shirts and basic pants that must have been traded with them. Some appeared to be taking on our culture while others appeared to be much more traditional.

I finally bit into the hunk of meat that was offered to me. It was a sensation of straight, honest-to-god, no preservatives, no modification, and no vat grown nonsense. It was as natural as you can get dead cow, and it was delicious. I must have wolfed it down quickly because I was given another cut.

The wolves were generous. They offered me other food like berries and fruit. I was given a cup by a young man which contained what I found to be wine. It was fruity with the right amount of age. Though it was also earthy. I'm no wine connoisseur like those guys down on Park Avenue sipping the latest vintages from Kepler 452 or something like that, but this was made with sweat and determination. It was absolutely delicious.

Lupe and I spoke for some time simply just catching up. She didn't expect to see me again but she enjoyed working together because it appeared that I understood how she worked and how her village worked. I also accepted her as the superior quickly instead of how other Humans treated her. She explained that I understood the pack and that I understood that she was top dog here. She liked that I saw that attention to detail. She wanted to know my travels so I explained what I had been doing before that point and what journeys I was on. I told her of Forerunner ruins, of spies, of the Chaos Emeralds and how Robotnik kept us on the chase. Several other wolves who spoke English probably thought it was a good tale based how their ears perked.

By the time I finished, the sun was lower in the sky. The air was orange, and Lupe was laying on her side hanging on every word. She had enjoyed the story. Her tail was flipping wildly.

"Is that what it's like out there?" someone asked in English.

"You have no idea." I said in response. "It's new for me too. I still have no idea half of what went on!"

I got some chuckles from the wolves. Lupe elected to talk. "So, why did you visit?" She asked. "Your tales seem so lively, yet you do not seem happy."

"What?"

She got up and walked over to me. She sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "I can feel it, Human." She said. "I can feel the tenseness. Look at how you're sitting. Too straight. No life in it. You seem troubled, Warrior." She opened her mouth to speak but then sighed in realization. "Ah, now I see. You are not well, not in body, but in mind."

"Yes." I looked at her. "Lupe, I seek your wisdom."

She gave the motherly smile to me. In truth I think she thought of me as a pup. I had no idea how old Lupe was but she had to at least have had ten years on me easily. I was a child to her.

"You have not eaten in days as I have seen, and your posture is off. I must ask you if you have been sleeping well."

"No." I said. "Not well at all. I've had nightmares. Of people I've lost, and of people I couldn't save. I've felt guilty. Guilty over what I did… and didn't do."

She saw something in my eyes. I was simply staring into the fire. The heat and the blaze brought back even worse visions. A village on fire. Poldamok. That's what the name of it was. It wasn't there today. I don't talk about what I saw there. I'll take that to my grave with me. That and a hundred more atrocities I saw in that war. Nobody deserves to hear that.

"You are wounded, Human." She said. "Do not let the weakness of the past clutch your heart in the present. You are bleeding from a wound within the spirit. Your healing must not be with medicine though. You are tense. Stressed. Tell me, when was the last time you have lain with a woman?"

I happened to be drinking some more of the wine when that last part came. I sucked in the wine and it went straight up my nose. I started to cough uncontrollably and nearly fell over. I drew quizzical looks and some people looked at the other one beside them probably saying something that translated to, "Friggin' Humans, man. I tell you."

"What?!" I asked her as soon as I cleared my nose.

"Your heart pains you as well. You need to set it right."

Lupe told me to get laid. Seriously.

"I… I don't know what you…"

"How long has it been?"

She just wouldn't let it go. I groaned. "Three years."

"Oh poor child." She hugged me tight. "Oh I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was that severe."

It was kind of uncomfortable. Again, my eyes darted to everyone around the fire just staring at me being embraced by their pack leader. Oh boy, this was also bringing back memories of my last visit.

"You will need to stay. Meditate. Ease your mental burden. I am glad you came to me, Warrior. I can heal you. It will not be easy."

"I can do it." I told her.

"I know you can. I've seen you fight. You're a strong soul. You are not the only one I help. Warriors doubt themselves and their skills often. For example, look at the far end of the fire."

I did as she asked. On the other side of the blaze was something different I had not seen before. A single wolf sitting alone. Nobody was around. Indeed, it was quite sad when I thought about it. The wolf looked up and around. That was when I saw her face.

She was much like the others. She was built strong the same way Lupe was. She had strong shoulders, powerful legs, and was slender and honed. Something was wrong though. She was physically in top condition, but then I saw her eyes. They were icy blue, and appropriately so, there was no warmth in them. Her hair was short. Very short, almost as if she sheared it off herself. But what was so interesting was that her fur was snow white. It caught my eye immediately.

"Who's that?"

Lupe nodded to her. "Her name is Maya. Poor thing. She was a Warrior that blamed herself for something out of her control. She is like you. Lost and afraid."

"I'm not afraid." I told her quickly, but it was a lie and she knew it.

"You are." She said to me. "You may not admit it, but I can see it forming in you. You've known nothing but combat. You've forgotten what it means to be human."

"And you do?"

"I know you mean no offense." She said after a quick laugh. "My fault really. Humans and humanity isn't always the same thing."

"Awfully profound."

"You tell me, Warrior. What made you lose your humanity? You clearly seek it."

I didn't answer her. The hours rolled on and the moon was high. People were heading to bed. I stayed in the village at Lupe's behest. The following morning, she did everything she could for me starting from meditation in the morning. She woke me early before the sun rose. My watch said it was about four in the morning. I had gotten only four hours of sleep. She took me up the side of a mountain near the village. She told me to sit, close my eyes and think on things that gave me pride and happiness. I thought of many things: My parents, my education, the sun rising over the Earth, and it seemed to work for a while. Then my thoughts drifted to Michelle.

I was in love with her for a long time. I was with her before the night I left. It may as well have been the last time I ever saw her.

Lupe could tell something was wrong. "Banish that thought. Do not lock it away. Cast it into the air and let it drift away."

"It's not that easy." I said. "I think of her often."

"Who?" Lupe asked.

"Michelle. The… woman I was in love with before I came here. Things… didn't end well between us. I never saw her again." I didn't tell her the rest. I couldn't say it.

"I am sorry." Lupe said. "Loss comes in many forms. I lost my husband."

"Yes, I know."

"I honor his memory." She told me touching her heart. "He will always be with me. I choose to remember him not in death, but in life. Please try to do the same, Human. Think on your victories, and not your defeats."

So I did. Easier said than done, but I did. My eyes were closed the whole time. The sun rose a couple hours later and I could feel the glow warming my face as every minute passed. I felt elated, like the rays were kissing my very soul. This was gorgeous. Even though I couldn't see it, I believed that here, I was in heaven. When I opened my eyes, I saw the valley below me in a morning fog. Up above, above the trees, a yellow disk climbed into the air. The jungle beyond stretched for as far as the eye could see.

"Well done." She said. "I think your heart just got a touch better."

I was beginning to see a method in the madness. Lupe worked to distract my mind with the great, the fun, and the awe-inspiring. She sought to use her own teachings to heal me, or at least treat me. Every morning I went up to the mountain with her, and soon after that I went on runs with her. She went through the forest randomly and she asked me to come along.

Lupe's method was a combination of physical exercise and mental conditioning – better the body and the mind will soon follow. In truth, I could have gotten this from a fleet medical doctor, but in the same truth, it likely would be cold and impersonal. I'd sit in medbay while a Corpsman would scribble a prescription for antidepressants and tell me to do laps on the ship's track. The view would be nice from the windows, but here it seemed to work so much better. It seemed like people actually wanted to help me here. The runs I could handle. I could keep up generally with her. Lupe could manage well over seven miles per hour constantly while I could do maybe five. She allowed me to catch up usually.

When I got back to the village, I continued as I would anywhere else – I'd exercise to keep my body sharp. The children of the village came to watch the strange man do pull ups on wooden beams and would oftentimes count my pushups. One or two of them would even sit on my back as I dealt with the extra weight. The kids boosted my morale considerably. They were goddamn adorable with their little snouts and huge eyes. I think it really did help.

By the end of the first week, it was the same. Meditation, exercise, and some quiet time in the forest. Every night I was treated to a large meal where Lupe demanded I eat my fill. A healthy heart is a healthy appetite she told me. I know comfort food was a thing, but these people really know how to take it one step further. I ate everything they made. I even helped cook on more than one occasion. My grandfather owns a restaurant. After my folks passed I went to go live with him and my grandmother in Chicago. I learned to love food. Food brought our family together. It's just another connection I had with the people here. I even learned a few of their songs.

Lupe herself told a creation story of how Aurora made Mobius out of a ball of sunlight. She cooled it with her breath and after she saw no life grew, she wept. Her tears filled the oceans and brought life to the world she thought would never bear her children, from there, Aurora and her husband the Almighty ruled the world and brought it to where it was today. I summarize, but the tale was beautiful. Lupe sang it in her native language too which gave me the opportunity to learn.

Every night though I would watch beyond the fire. Every time I would look to see if she was there. And there she was. Maya would sit in the same spot every night looking into the fire. Every night I noticed a new detail on her. Her eyelashes, the curve of her muzzle, the way that she crossed her lower legs. One night after seeing her constantly, I finally decided to get up and go over. Maya didn't even notice me until I came close to her. She then started quickly into my eyes looking somewhat distressed.

"Hey." I said to her. "You mind if I sit down?"

She didn't say anything, as if she couldn't believe I was there. I made no move though. She barely even blinked – just stared at me.

"Can you understand me?" I asked Maya. She blinked at that. Twice in quick succession as I remember. She quickly nodded, but said nothing.

"Is it alright if I sit down?" I asked her.

She started to mouth a word, but didn't get it out. She nodded again.

"Thank you." I sat on the ground across from her. I was cross legged which was slightly uncomfortable with the boots on. "You're Maya, right?"

"Why are you speaking to me?" her voice was soft, and her English was practically fluent like Lupe's.

She was straight to the point. I didn't mince anymore words.

"I saw you from across the town. You sit here alone every day. You look sad."

She broke my gaze and look at the ground.

"Please leave me alone." She said. "I do not wish to dishonor you with my presence."

"What?" I asked.

"I am dishonored, Human. I dishonor you for even speaking to you. Please just leave me."

"Why do you feel you're dishonoring me?"

She knew she wasn't getting rid of me until I gave her a straight answer. "I am a failure of a warrior." She said. "My inability to ward off danger injured my brothers and sisters. Several brothers lay wounded and one died because I did not do as I was supposed to." Her voice began to rise. "I am selfish. I wanted to defeat the Ornokohom and save one of the outlying villages."

I noted the Wolves' word for the Harpies.

"But in my self-indulgence, I failed to warn my fellow warriors. I am directly responsible."

It wasn't quite true. The Harpies came in forces far stronger than they could have imagined. As it turns out, Maya wasn't responsible for what attacked her fellow Warriors – another completely unrelated group of Harpies attacked them after the initial wave was fought off. There was nothing that could be done.

"You are a warrior. I can see your weapon. I dishonor you on principle. Please, I beg you." Her voice shook. "Please leave me alone."

So I left her. As I walked away, Lupe seemed to look at me as if to say she pitied the poor girl. I admit, I did too. For a second week, I did the same routine, feeling better, but then there was a problem. My mind wasn't focused. I fell out of step with Lupe, and oftentimes I had bad dreams again. Every night, my mind wandered from the songs and my gaze fell on the wolf that sat on her own. She looked at the moon and wiped her eyes. As a shiver ran through my body, I think I knew why I was distracted.

Two days after I had spoken to her for the first time, I had another interaction with Maya. Every few days, I took my sweat-soaked clothing down to the river. The water was relatively clean which I used to wash out the clothes. I had some basic soap in the rucksack which I used to clean it out. About a half hour in and I saw someone approaching the river. With her snow white fur, she was unmistakable. Maya was nearly whisper silent which was why I never noticed her until she was at the water's edge nearly a hundred feet away. Then what I wasn't expecting: she disrobed.

Now this was what I would call dishonorable. Well, in my culture we generally call this

rude and offensive, but I just couldn't look away. The tingle ran down my spine and… and just looked at her. Her back was slightly to me. Despite the fur I could see how her muscles ran up and down her body. She stretched and her back arched slightly. I could see her breasts from here. Not bad. Not large, but certainly not small. My eyes went to her tail and how it flowed from her rear. That I couldn't see from that angle. Her hair almost seemed like a highlight it was so short. She may as well have been bald. Or what counts as bald for a Mobian.

I nearly lost my balance. I had leaned over to get a good look at her and had nearly fallen because of it. Some rocks rustled beneath my feet. I saw her ear twitch at the sound and flipped around before she noticed I had been staring. She would likely move on, cover up or do something else. What I didn't expect in the slightest was that while I went back to washing the clothes, a shadow fell over me.

I didn't expect to think to myself, 'she's behind me'. Before taking a deep breath and turning around. Maya stood over me, completely naked. It didn't even seem to bother her in the slightest. Not a shred of modesty in her. She likely didn't give a damn. Now me on the other hand, I wasn't ready for it. I was too shocked to feel anything else.

By the by, I was wearing my shorts at the time. Nothing else besides that except for shoes.

I expected her to roar at me, or to growl, or bear her teeth, but she did none of those things. She just… looked at me.

"Why do you stare at me every night?" she finally asked. I was relieved to see she hadn't seen me peeking, but given my eye level was on her crotch, I think that was a moot point. "Nobody bothers to, but you do. Why?"

Nothing else mattered but her eyes. I didn't care about her body, but about what I saw in that face, which was confusion and doubt – the same things Lupe saw in me.

"I..." I could barely get the words out. It was something I didn't think I would say: "I think you're pretty." I couldn't catch it after it left my lips. It hung in the air for a few second with nothing but the flowing of the river backing it up. I tried to get to my feet, but then decided against it and chose to sit with legs crossed.

"What?" She asked.

"I think… that you're a pretty woman." I told her. "I think what happened to you wasn't your fault no matter what you think of it. I think you beat yourself up over it and you have no reason to. I think that you have an amazing body and have a good heart."

She furrowed her brow. "What?"

"I said you have an amazing spirit and good heart." I bit my lip and began kicking my Id square in the ass.

Fuck you, Freud.

Her ears began to fold. "But why do you care so much? Why do you care what happens to a lowly warrior like me?"

"Because we're kindred spirits." I said seriously. "You and I are alike. We're both warriors. Lupe taught me that we have a connection that nobody else can share. Not in the same way." I patted the rocks next to me. "Sit down." I offered her.

"You could stand." She suggested.

"I don't feel like standing." I said quickly. "Please, I'd love it if you sat down."

Maya obliged me. She sat squarely next to me and brought her knees to her chin. She wrapped her muscular arms around her legs and held them tight. She didn't make eye contact with me. Instead she looked across the river and into the trees beyond.

I spoke first: "When I first came here, I didn't even really notice you. You were kind of out of the way. If Lupe never pointed you out, I would have never seen you. She said she's tried to get to you."

"I don't think the leader can help me." She said with very little confidence in herself.

"I don't believe a word of that." I told her. "I think you should still try to get help from her. She is wise and has ways of helping her people. Do you not trust her?"

"No, I do." She responded. "I just want to be confident in myself again." She buried her face in her hands. "I don't want to blame myself! I don't want to blame myself for what happened! It wasn't my fault! Why do I feel so terrible?"

"Survivor's guilt." I told her. "You feel bad when others get hurt, even when it's not your fault. I reached over to touch her shoulder. She didn't make a motion as soon as I touched the first white strand of fur on her body. I clasped my hand on her shoulder and held it there. "I've felt what you're feeling now. To feel responsible."

She stopped crying at once. "You did?"

"Yes, and far worse. Maya, I lost so many of my friends. They're my brothers too. I still feel wrong knowing I walked away when they didn't."

"Kindred spirits." She repeated. "We're both the same."

"Both feeling responsible. Lupe can fix me. Let her fix you too."

"Maybe we…" she stammered, clearly embarrassed of what she wanted to say, "…can fix each other?" she became withdrawn at once as soon as she said that. She was ready to get up and leave. "Please forget I said that."

"No, I like that." I stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder again. "Let's fix each other. Let me help make you better." I was feeling light at that; lightheaded and perhaps a little confident myself in my words.

Maya the wolf looked at me intently. She began to blink faster. Her tail began to twitch and without warning, she leaned in and kissed my cheek.

I lost it. I gave in there and then.

I kissed her back.

It was animalistic and a primal act. I don't know why I did it, only that it felt right. I moved her chin and planted my lips on hers. Then I waited. I expected an inevitable strike of some sort or withdrawing as she usually did, but Maya didn't do that. She kissed back. Maya linked her arms behind my back and I ran my fingers through her short hair. It was all one big connected moment. When I pulled back and disconnected, I watched her face. She was looking into my eyes with dilated pupils. Her nose was touching mine. I needed to fold my face around it to get to her. I waited for her to say something, but then I saw a smile cross her face. She brought me closer and we kissed again. This time, she led.

It felt so wrong and so right at the same time. Lupe was right. I had so much pent up energy that I needed to let it out. This was about a month or so before Sally told me she loved me. But then at that time, I only cared about the woman in front of me.

Oh God she was strong. She knocked me over and I almost hit my head off the rocks before she caught me. She ran her tongue all over my face. I was her captive and she did what she willed. She cleaned my face with her tongue, just as I have seen mothers doing to their pups in the village. I wondered if I had now imprinted on her.

She stopped and looked into my eyes. The scene was something that may have looked absolutely bizarre: a wolf woman nearly as large as I was and quite possibly stronger than me had me clutched so tightly that she was scratching my back. I didn't care though. I actually kind of liked it. She held me to her and I just waited for a reaction. I was astounded that I had just done that. Suddenly, she backed off. She let me down and stood up. She suddenly looked scared or perhaps had doubt. Her ears were folded and she refused to make eye contact with me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

"For what?"

She didn't say anything else. She walked back to her spot on the river where her clothes were. She hastily dressed herself. I wanted to get up and go over there, but I still felt uncomfortable standing after that. Besides, she ran off quickly down the river bank, letting her tail whip behind her.

So there I was alone by the river bank with nothing but my semi-dry clothes and a hard on. I was still trying to process what had just happened in the past few minutes. She had been so passionate in that. I've been in a relationship before so I could tell when her heart was in it. She wanted to be loved.

I checked around to make sure I wasn't being watched. To my surprise, I was wrong. A single lone person stood at the top of the bank. Even at that distance, I could clearly tell it was Lupe by the color of her fur and part of her headdress. She watched me until I noticed her and then she came to sit by me. She had a faint smile on her face.

"Please tell me you weren't watching." I begged her.

"Only what I needed to see." She shrugged. "Some things I can't control. You surprised me."

"Oh did I now?"

"Maya has not been herself for some months. She a pretty girl and is smart, but ever since the death of one of her brothers, she's been reserved. You know she blames herself, but some of the other warriors do as well."

"She's an outcast."

"Not by all." Lupe added quickly. "But by many. Some of us know the truth, but rumor spreads quickly. Her pride has been wounded and she feels betrayed. She feels you dishonor her for even showing interest. Double so since you are a Human."

"She can't think that."

"She's not the only one, but she shows it visibly. She is very forward with her emotions."

I believed that.

"I think you may have gotten the seams to show, pup." Lupe said tapping me on the shoulder. "Strike hard enough and you might just crack that exterior. It's funny really."

"What?"

"You came here for me to heal you. Now you're healing someone else."

I had a buzz of pride go up my spine. Yes. I did want to heal her. I then asked a question that again surprised me: "Lupe, does she have any men in her life?"

"No." she said after a moment. "She's old enough to have a husband, but the men seem… hesitant to speak to her."

"Half hate her and the other half are afraid of being hated if they speak to her."

"Things are complicated." She said.

"No." I told Lupe. "I don't think they are anymore. Thank you for coming to see me. Well, no thank you for coming while I… you know, I was preoccupied, but thank you for coming. Your wisdom aids me again."

"What are you up to?" she wondered out loud.

"Like you said," I looked back towards the river "I'm going to heal her."

Maya did not appear by her spot at the fire pit over the next few days. I had continued my means of exercise and meditation with Lupe. I had begun to learn dances that the men made at parties and I even volunteered to go and collect wood that day. I was out in the forest with two other men. They were tall and strong as were everyone in the village. They had steel axes which had to have been from the trading post or from UEG supply drops, though I do recall seeing a forge in the village. I don't know if the Wolves were capable of forging steel yet. In any case, I had a two handed axe on my back and my handgun on my belt. I was led by the foragers into a deeper part of the woods maybe close to an hour away. They helped me pick out good trees. They described what was important through thick trunks mostly and to get ones with lighter bark as it was most likely dry wood which would light easier.

I had actually cut down trees once before close to Christmas last year in the Great Forest near Knothole. Specifically the castle needed a Christmas tree and I was happy to oblige. The jungle felt differently now. I was not afraid to venture here. This was a place of peace for me now, not a place of fear like Talahan. I hope Lupe didn't start billing because she was on a roll with the spiritual healing. Every step I took in there was one of experience and one of living. I found a good tree not long after that it must have been maybe fifty feet high and had a trunk maybe as wide as I was around the midsection. It would last us a few good days really. I swung at it with my axe and soon was chipping away at the wood. I knew to strike it on a downward angle so the tree would fall down and away from me. It took maybe three or four minutes of hacking, but soon I heard a crunching noise and the tree fell to the ground. The scouts nodded on my decision and began to cut the fallen tree into smaller pieces to be taken back. Lupe greatly appreciated how much I was investing myself into her village. I told her that it was the very least that I could do given how she had helped me.

I was beginning to cut up the wood when I heard rustling not far away.

The wolves' ears piqued. They sensed danger.

So did I. I pulled my handgun out. I racked the slide and made it ready to fire, hammer cocked back and safety off. I held it at a ready position, halfway between eye-level and the ground. I kept my finger off the trigger but my grip was tight on it. We were too far away from the village I think. Either that or someone had decided to try their luck and come close.

There was chattering out there from many angles, even above. I had three magazines of ammunition on me, which meant twenty one shots that I could place on target. I was almost certain it was Harpies. They were tall, thin, had beady eyes and were nowhere near elegant. They looked like diseased creatures that were barely intelligent. They were not even capable of speech as we knew it. When they came streaming out of the trees running on clawed feet did my warm feeling of the forest disappear. For a brief second I wondered if they had recognized me and what I did to one of their nests the last time I was here. Regardless, they were charging me and I had to protect the scouts, who now had axes raised and were not screaming as combat fell on them.

I was ready. I raised the gun and pulled the trigger. A loud bang travelled through the trees as the fifty caliber round was sent spiraling out of the barrel and straight into one of the charging Harpies. The round exited in a flash of blood that coated the ground. Two more seemed to take its place. I realized from the buzzing that I had no hearing protection. I had made a rookie error and didn't have anything to protect my ear drums.

I killed another. This one screamed in vengeance and tried to make a run for me. I shot it in the leg, obliterating it. I killed it before it had a chance to even react. Three bullets gone, three in the mag, one indexed. I kept mental calculation of every cartridge I had left on me. I would run out sooner or later though. I grabbed my axe and held it in my left hand and the Eagle in my right. I felt kind of like a badass at that moment.

These Harpies thought they could take down a wandering band of Wolves and likely eat what was left. I wouldn't let that happen. So I acted as the scouts now were - with anger and animosity. I roared at the bird-like monstrosities as they tried to flank me. I killed two more, but the slide locked back. My wrist hurt from firing the heavy gun one-handed. I quickly dropped the mag and inserted a new one, thumbing the slide and locking the pistol back in battery.

The fight went on for only ten minutes, but soon I was out of another magazine of ammunition having killed four more Harpies. I locked the gun back in my holster and held my axe up. It was stained red with blood. Harpy bodies lay beneath us, but more came. Just before the next charging wave of Ornokohom can, I saw a flash jump over me and land not far in front. I didn't see the face, but I knew from her white fur that it was Maya.

Maya was here! Why was she here?

She tore into them, teeth bared and wielding a massive iron sword. It whipped around cutting into Harpies. I joined her swiping at the mutants. The foragers too were at our side. As a unit, we stayed as one mass dropping them one by one and as a concentrated group. The Harpies, knew they were outthought, turned and ran. We didn't lose anybody, but I had taken a few nasty bites, including a claw scratch that went down my arm. It was fairly deep, and blood dripped onto the forest floor.

Maya turned to look at me. She was my savior. If anything, the Harpies recognized her and realized she was a force to be reckoned with. The scouts looked at her, surprised that she was out here. She then came to me.

"Warrior." She said. "Are you alright."

"I've been worse."

"You're hurt." She said, kneeling and looking at my wound. "I need to take you back to the village."

"No. I can do it now." I reached into my bag and pulled out a bottle of spray-on biofoam and a roll of dressing. I also took out a first aid kit which I always carried in a rucksack. I was no medic, but I knew how to clean a wound with disinfectant, which stung to high heaven. I then sprayed the biofoam on which made me shudder as the nanolattices created by the substance stitched my skin back together over time. I then rolled the dressing around my arm tightly. "I'm fine for the time being. Come on, let's carry the wood back."

"Are you sure?" One of the scouts asked. "You just got cleaved by those monsters."

"I'll be OK. I don't want to go back to the village empty handed."

Maya surprised me. "I will help you." She said.

Together, the four of us carried multiple lengths of the log back with us. We were all strong enough that we could carry three or so cuts each, and I could even fit a few in the ruck. I was carrying about one hundred pounds of wood or so. Maya was strong enough to do the same. It took about two hours to get back, but we were welcomed warmly. Lupe was the first to greet me, grinning at my bounty of wood for the fire, but showed concern at my injury.

"What happened, soldier?"

"We were attacked." I said. "Things would have looked bad, but…" I pointed behind us as Maya stepped from the trees. "She saved us."

"Maya?" Lupe asked in disbelief. She spoke to her in her tongue. From what I could now understand of their language, she asked if it was true, more or less. Maya said yes, which in the Wolves' language sounds like 'oos'.

Lupe looked at me. "What did you do?"

"Nothing." I told her. "I think she did it herself. She wanted to bring me back as soon as I was hurt." I raised my arm. "She went out of her way to watch me." I said. "She wanted to keep me safe."

Maya stared at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with her chief. However, Lupe went to her and put a hand on each shoulder. Maya, surprised with the gesture looked up in shock. Lupe whispered something to her. The white wolf's tail slowly uncurled around herself and she blinked several times. Her mouth fell open in shock and surprise. Lupe spoke next in English, so I could hear.

"I am proud of you, Warrior." She said. "You chose to protect those you cared about. You watched over this Human when you could have stayed in the village. Your selflessness reflects well upon you. I am honored you are among us."

"I think tonight's dinner should be for her." I offered.

"Oh please, do not do that!" She said quickly, arms now raised. "I don't deserve such an honor!"

"I think you do." I answered. I held out a hand to her."

She glanced around, possibly looking embarrassed. Some of the male warriors glanced at her with what I believed was still caution. She looked at me though, started to cry, and then hugged me. I hugged back as tight as I could make it. Lupe ordered everyone else away so I could stand with her alone near the forest's edge.

"Why, Human?" She asked me. "Why are you doing this? I am a disgraced warrior! You're a great soldier! Why am I worthy of your attention?"

In that tangle of fluff I wiped her eyes. "Because I know you are just as great as me, if not greater. Maya, I think I love you."

The words hit her like a bombshell. She buried her face in my chest and cried. I brought her behind one of the buildings on the forest edge and I let her keep going.

"How can you love me?" she asked. "It's not right of you!"

"I love who you are, not what you are."

"I don't believe it. You really love me?"

"From the moment I first saw you, Maya. The moment I saw you sitting by the fire. The men of the village dishonor themselves by not going up and speaking to you. They're fools. You are a beautiful woman."

She didn't know how to respond. She just sniffed and looked me in the eye.

"You are passionate about the ones you care for, you are willing to help others at your own expense, and you realize that you are a caring person who will do anything for anybody. That's why I love you."

"That can't be all."

"No." I whispered into her ear, "You do have a great body too."

She slapped me, and then she kissed me. I held her by the back of the head as I kissed her deeply and passionately. I opened my eyes and saw her staring back at me with a sparkle I had not seen before. She ran her hands through my clipped hair and I did the same to her. Her fur was slightly wiry, but her hair was beautifully soft and gentle to the touch.

"Maya, can I ask you a question: do you love me?"

She nodded with no hesitation. "When you first talked to me. I knew you were different, but when I saw you at the river, that's when I knew. I love you."

She hugged me and her tail began to wave. It curled around me and she rested her head on my shoulder. "You're a funny thing." She said. "You barely have any hair at all, but you smell like a wolf to me. You act like a wolf to me."

"Then for you I'll be a wolf." I got up. "Come on, let's get ready for your feast."