Title: Fancy, You Didn't!
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/General
Summary: Sequel to "Jack, Don't You Dare."
Thanks to Orion Lyonesse for the idea.
Fancy, You Didn't
Ianto looked around nervously before hurrying around the Hub to try and get to the Archives before anyone ay him. He had his coat closed tightly and his arms crossed at his chest.
"Ianto?" Ianto jumped and turned to face Jack, quickly hiding the object behind his back.
"Yes, sir," asked Ianto, keeping his voice casual. He tried not to blush as Jack's bare chest, his bracers hanging to his almost his knees.
"Have you seen my shirt?"
"You're shirt?" asked Ianto in surprise. "Which one?"
"My blue one," said Jack. "I was going to wear it to that meeting I had with the Defense General today but I can't find it anywhere. You didn't put it in my wash by accident, did you?"
Ianto shook his head. "I don't believe so, sir. Should I look for it for you?"
"No, it's all right I'll wear one of my other shirts. Not as bright but it should do." Jack paused in thought. "I wander what the general's wearing…."
"Jack," said Ianto giving the man a warning glare. Jack flashed him a smile.
"I'm kidding," he said and turned back to his office.
"Right," said Ianto and yelped when something sharp pierced through the fabric of his three piece suit. Jack turned back to him.
"Everything all right, Ianto?" he asked.
"Yes, sir, everything's fine." Ianto gave him a reassuring smile. "I'll look for your shirt for you."
And he quickly left for Archives, moving his hand back to his front without Jack noticing what he was holding. Walking into Archives he placed the object in the empty box set in the corner and took out Jack's good shirt that was among the rags in there.
Since finding the alien cat Ianto named Fancy, life in the Hub had been interesting. The intelligent golden feline had been a joy to be around, never disobeying a rule or going into the Vaults and staying out of Myfanway's way when the pteradon was flying around the Hub and out of the team's way when there was work to be done. But a month after her arrival, she started her little escapades.
It first happened when Jack stayed over at Ianto's and they woke up to her curled up on Ianto's pillow. The next time was in Jack's cot and she was curled up between them. Ianto suspected that she felt lonely, but Jack did everything he could to keep Fancy inside the Hub and out of his bunk but the feline still escaped the Hub or entered his bunk, curling up on their beds like it was normal. Finally Jack made a compromise and had Ianto put a collar with a tracer around her neck. Ianto went a step up and put a tag with his name and address on it. Since then they had no problem finding her.
Till now. Ianto had found her collar this morning when he searched the facility to feed her but couldn't find her anywhere. When Ianto did find her, what he found with her came as a surprise.
"Ianto!" came Owen's yell and Ianto hurried out of Archives. He put it in Jack's laundry basket on the way up. He found Owen in his lab with his armed around his chest and a very crossed look on his face. "Where is she?"
"Pardon?" asked Ianto.
"That cat! The mangy feline you forced Jack to keep running around here! Where is she?!"
"Owen, just calm down and tell me what she did this time?" asked Ianto with a sigh.
"She took my lab coat! That damn cat of yours took my lab coat! I had left some very important work on the most recent murder and wanted to look them over, only to find my coat gone! No where is it?"
Ianto sighed again. Out of the team, Fancy liked to pester Owen and Jack the most. Gwen, Toshiko and Ianto she liked to curl up with for a pet and a cuddle, but in the way of pranks, Owen and Jack were the targets.
"I'll look for your coat, Owen," he said and walked out of the lab. He hurried back down to the Archives and went to the box of rags. The box was empty. "Not again." He began to rummage through the box. "Where'd did it go? Where did you put it?"
"Where did who put what, Ianto," asked Toshiko behind him and Ianto jumped to his feet in surprise.
"Just an old file," he said. "Did you need something, Tosh?"
"The file on the alien tech we found last month? I'm still trying to figure out what it does."
"Right," said Ianto and looked through the files till he found the folder Toshiko wanted. He handed it to her. "Here you go."
"Thanks, Ianto. Are you missing something? You're acting awfully strange today."
"I'm fine, it's just that Fancy took off with Owen's lab coat and I'm trying to find her."
"I just saw Fancy heading toward the main Hub. Could start there."
"Thanks, Tosh," said Ianto and headed toward the main Hub. There weren't many places to hide in there, but that didn't stop Fancy from finding one. Ianto searched every nook and cranny and still couldn't find the feline.
"Ianto!"
Ianto hurried to Jack's office and found his boss and three team mates with amused looks on their face. Well, Jack's, Gwen's and Toshiko's were amused. Owen's was highly annoyed.
"You called for me, sir," asked Ianto nervously.
"Something you want to tell me, Ianto?" asked Jack, his amused grin still on his face.
"I don't know what you mean, sir."
"Oh, let's see." Jack crossed his harms around his chest as he tilted his head in a thoughtful manner. "My shirt has gone missing, Owen's coat is missing, you've been acting strange, and Fancy's missing. Anything strange about that?"
"No, sir, sounds normal to me. Fancy's always taking things."
Jack still had on his thoughtful look. "Uh-huh, and that's why Fancy's down in on my cot with Owen's coat."
Ianto's face blushed a deep red and he walked over to the man hole that lead to Jack's bedroom and looked down. There Fancy was curled up on Jack's bed with Owen's lab coat around her. She was purring off the top of her lungs as she licked the four kittens huddled around her belly. With a guilty look he turned back to his friends.
"You're getting good at hiding things, Ianto," said Toshiko, but with a smile.
"I guess I should have told," said Ianto.
"Yeah, you should have," said Gwen.
"I did set her up in a box down in Archives, but she's taken to hiding them."
"Was that what you were hiding behind your back earlier, a kitten?" asked Jack and Ianto nodded.
"I was going to tell."
"They remind me of a cat I used to own," said Jack. "They were called Jonesy cats. No one knew where the name came from."
"How old are they?" asked Gwen looking back down the man hole.
"Almost a week. They should start walking soon."
"Can we keep them, Jack," asked Toshiko hopefully. "I've always wanted a kitten, but my kaasan was allergic and then computer school…."
"I ain't having one," said Owen crossing his arms.
"If they're anything like Fancy, they'll choose their owners," said Ianto. "Till then we should leave them be."
"I agree with Ianto," said Jack. "Bring that box down from Archives. She ain't moving and try to get back Owen's coat. He needs those notes."
"Yes, sir," said Ianto and went to work.
Six Months Later
"IANTO! GET THIS DAMN CAT!"
Ianto hurried down and smirked when he saw the scene. Owen was chasing Pest around the lab, who had an instrument he needed for the autopsy of the alien they found.
"I can't do anything, Owen," said Ianto. "He is your cat."
"He is not. Help me catch him!"
The kitten gave Ianto a "don't-you-dare" look and flexed his claws. Ianto smirked as he looked at the alien feline. He wasn't that dumb. With a wave to Owen he walked out.
"Ianto!"
"You might try tempting him with treats," suggested Ianto as he walked out.
In the short six months the kittens had been staying, the team had watched them grow and not long after the kittens opened their eyes and started to walk they followed the team around, a different kitten to a different person. Owen refused to claim his, calling the kitten a pest and the name "Pest" stuck. Gwen and Toshiko were allowed to take theirs home after they were weaned and were named "Goldie" and "Hina". Jack took the last male kitten and named it "Kit." Ianto was still stuck with Fancy but he wasn't complaining.
He felt something rub against his legs and looked down at Fancy with a smile, noticing she was a brighter shade of gold then she usual was.
"Hey, Fancy," he said bending down to pick her up. "Are you lonely without your kittens?"
Fancy just meowed and rubbed her head against his chin. With a chuckled Ianto went upstairs to the pantry to get her food. He waved as he past Toshiko and Gwen's workstations as they sat at their desks and petted the kittens in their laps or laid on the modem for warmth.
"Now that's weird," said Gwen as she looked at the CCTV.
"What is," asked Jack walking out of his office, Kit lying on his shoulders carefully balanced.
"I've got about five cats wondering around the Plass. They're strays, but they never go out in public."
"Yeah, that is weird," said Jack. "We better keep a look out for anything."
Up in the kitchenette, Fancy's purr increased as she listened to the conversation.
They heard a crash from the Lab and looked to see Owen chasing Pest out of the Lab room, the instrument still in the kitten's mouth.
"CATCH THAT CAT!"
END