Theresa: Hello all! I'd like to present to you my first Naruto fic! Hanabi-sama so totally kicks ass.

Nisa: Agreed.

WARNING: This contains content that can be considered as Lee-bashing. Please note that this is from Hanabi's POV, and I just don't think she'd get along with him.(Oh! New fic idea! One-shot, she finds Lee funny! That's sooo next on my list) So yeah. This has stereotyping abound, for pure amusement. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or HP or Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus(see if you can find the references to the last two). So yeah, but I think you knew that.

Interesting Day Indeed
By Theresa of U.S.S. Shipper

Chapter 1
Yes, Hanabi, Guys Do Wear Makeup

"Hanabi! Smile and let your fountain of youth flow!" I spun around to face the one who spoke… and immediately went blind. He stood in cocky pose with one thumb up and flashed me a way-to-bright grin. I twitched and ran father's orders once again through my head. Do not harm Neji and Hinata's guests. I repeated it until it became a steady mantra. After the urge to kill disappeared it was replaced by the urge to hurl. This boy, whoever he was, was ugly. He had two huge eyebrows that made him look as if caterpillars had attached themselves to his face. And that's not even considering the green spandex suit.

"LEE! YOU SPEAK OF THE ONE TRUTH SO VIVIDLY!" A man who looked exactly the same appeared beside him.

"GAI-SENSEI! I TRY TO SPREAD ALL OF YOUR GREAT KNOWLEDGE TO EVERYONE!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

GAI-SENSEI!"

The pair hugged and I gagged. Make that ugly and pathetic.

"Hey, Lee?" My cousin, Neji, frowned.

"Yes, Neji?"

"Shut up." Lee shrank and began to bawl as Neji brushed past him. "Hanabi-sama," he bowed and I nodded. He led his large group into the main house and I remained outside, watching the procession. There was a tall dark boy, whom I recognized as Uchina Sasuke. He was being drooled over by a girl with pink hair and another one with long blonde hair. Uzumaki Naruto, in turn, was drooling over the pink-haired girl, trying to get her attention. My sister, Hinata watched his antics while blushing. Yet another girl was-

Wait a minute, Hinata was blushing. Not how she normally does whenever she was embarrassed, which is everytime someone looks at her, but the dreaded I-Love-You blush. I smirked and stored this information for later blackmail before going back to analyzing the others.

As I was saying, yet another girl was talking to Neji. I'm guessing by the hair buns that she must be Tenten, Neji has mentioned her a couple of times before. If she was, they were probably talking about weapons, training, or how to get back at Lee for his latest scheme to hook them up.

Lastly, Kakashi, Tsunade, Gai, and Jiraya (Kakashi tried to smuggle him in.), Shino, Choji, Kiba, and the shinobi from Sand brought up the rear. I smirked once more before finally following them inside. This would be an interesting day. An interesting day indeed.

"SAKURA! YOU ARE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE BLOSSOM YOU WERE NAMED FOR!"

Alright, after listening to that guy talk for only three minutes he really pisses me off. That's gotta be the 25th time I've heard him say that! Seriously, he needs to Shut. Up. We were all going to eat dinner, and were gathered around the table.

"I know Lee," the pink-haired girl responded, flipping her hair. Lee's small eyes shone in triumph as she turned to the Sasuke. "What do you think Sasuke-kun?" she smiled.

"I think…" Sakura and Ino, the blonde-haired girl, braced themselves, "…you're pathetic," he said in his cool, monotone voice. Suddenly I had to urge high five him. Ino punched Shikamaru in triumph as Sakura gloomed.

Lee smashed his fists onto the table. "I will protect your honor Sakura!" A mad glint shone in his eyes and he whirled to face Sasuke. "STAND UP AND FIGHT COWARD!" I heard Tenten give a small sigh while she pulled him back into his seat.

With that, Father burst into the room. Hinata, Neji, and I all stood, signaling for the others to do the same.

"Hirashi-sama," Neji then bowed with the rest of us in greeting, but I could tell by how he clenched his fists he didn't want to. Hell, he never wanted to.

Father curtly nodded to each of us in turn, at the end his eyes were resting on Tenten. "Neji, may I speak with you?"

If Neji was surprised, he didn't show it. He just followed father out of the room. The door closed behind them, leaving a heavy silence that was soon obliterated by both Kakashi and Jiraya giggling over Jiraya's new Para Para Paradise. Tsunade scowled and reached over two the immature two, yanking Jiraya's ear sharply. A now-sulking Jiraya scampered off into a corner to read his infamous books.

"So, Hanabi," I spun around to see who was talking. It was the freak. Actually, they were all freaks. Shinobi from the Sand… how dare they enter the Hyuuga complex fully armed! They had no respect, did they really think we would be so dishonorable and attack them? Of course, from what I understand, Tenten is fully armed as well. Neji insisted.

Anyway, this particular freak had purple makeup. She had a different taste in style than Hinata-chan's, to say the least. And I was utterly speechless.

"I'm Kankuro," she nodded briefly before sensing my cold silence and turning away. Relief rushed through her, I can sense it. Apparently, this woman doesn't care much for small talk either. But Kankuro… isn't that a name for a boy? Unless…

"Hey, Kankuro! We were just discussing messed up Halloween costumes. Did you ever win a contest just by coming as you are?" Naruto, of course.

Temari swiftly placed her hands on her siblings shoulders in an effort to calm them. "Hey, don't joke about that! He doesn't like it. Seriously." No duh, Kankuro's even snarling. I thought only Kiba did tha- Wait. She said HE! Oh. My. Geese. Guys wear makeup… like… that? Sand customs must be weird. I mean, that other boy, Gaara, is just glowering at everyone. But Hinata-chan said something about him being a vassal for a demon or something, and likes to go on a killing spree. Which would be cool, if I wasn't in danger of being a target right now.

Note to self: Don't piss off insomniacs.

Suddenly, the door opened revealing an anxious Neji. Well, as anxious as Neji shows it. No one else notices from his calm posture, but Hinata-chan has noticed and is worried as well, even Tenten is.

Neji bowed to Hinata-chan. "Hinata-sama, Hirashi-sama requests to speak with you." Hinata paled and exited the room, as Neji slid into his own seat.

Another awkward silence. Another awkward silence broken by Kakashi and Jiraya giggling over naughty pictures. Another mad Hokage.

Tsunade-sama stalked angrily over to Jiraya's corner and snatched the book out of his hand. A brief glance inside had her blood boiling. She was only angry before. Now she was livid.

"WHAT IS THIS!" She shrieked, nostrils flaring in rage. She held the book up for everyone to see.

Inside were pictures of Tsunade… naked. All of us girls looked away, while the guys promptly had nosebleeds. All except for Gaara. He jus sat there like he didn't see his siblings now twitching on the floor. I swear, nothing fazes that guy.

Rock Lee was the first to recover. He jumped up, twirled about for a bit, did his nice guy pose, and then finally offered his hand to Sakura.

"MY FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH AND STYLISH MOVES (shown previously) MAKE ME THE PERFECT MAN FOR YOU, SAKURA! LET THE SPRING OF LOVE FLOW FORTH!"

That's the first thing he says after seeing Hokage-sama naked! Is that even normal? The rest of us are scarred for life, and he can still babble on to the pink-haired girl? Ridiculous! Needless to say, there was a large amount of crickets chirping after dog-brow's (as Naruto "eloquently" puts it) words.

Neji's eye twitched. "Lee, could you stop with the whole Spring of Love thing?"

Now it was Lee's turn to spazz. "But- but- but Neji! One's love MUST be proclaimed for the world to know! The world needs to know of the passion that burns within the flame of youth!"

Gai screamed his agreement, causing my ear to throb. Poor Neji, I think I have a newfound respect for him.

Neji cringed. "Then think of a different way to describe it. Please."

A silence of anticipation hung over our dining room. Could Lee do it? Could he think of a less annoying way to describe love and desire? Was it possible…?

A look of intense concentration clouded his impeccable round eyes, and then-

" I HAVE IT! LOVE IS LIKE PEEING IN YOUR PANTS! EVERYONE CAN SEE IT, BUT ONLY YOU CAN FEEL IT'S WARMTH!"

Deafening silence, and then-

"EWWW!" (Sakura, Temari, and Ino)

"What the flip?" (Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji.)(Yes, Shino shouted!)

"HA HA HA! I like it!" (Kakashi and Jiraya)

"…" (Tenten, Neji, Kankuro, Gaara, Sasuke, me)

"BEAUTIFUL! IT SPEAKS TO MY SOUL!" (3 guesses who)

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Hem hem." We all noticed this, but no one paid attention.

"Hem hem. … Hem hem! … HEM HEM!..." She sighed and slammed her fists on the table. "QUIET!" We all shrank down into what is known in Chouji's books as "chibis" for a minute, before regaining composure and original size.

"As official leader of Kohona village, I order you, Rock Lee, never to use that analogy again."

Naruto punched the air in triumph while Lee and Gai hugged each other sobbing over some sap about how their flames of youth were being suppressed. Idiots. I hate idiots. Ugh.

Sakura suddenly quivered with rage. While everyone was blinded by Lee and Gai's sunset, apparently she had been drooling over Sasuke's silhouette, and she only noticed the blonde doing the same exact thing now.

"Ino-pig! How dare you stare at my Sasuke like that!" Sasuke just shrugged, clearly pleased that girls would actually fight of him. He flashed his trademark smirk in Ino's direction- just to get the girls crazier over him. It worked too. Sakura lunged at Ino, who promptly hid behind Shikamaru. This caused Temari to get steamed up, and swung her fan at Ino at hit her mark, causing Ino to fly backwards towards Sakura. The latter was able to dodge most of the blow, but Ino's fist collided with Sakura's large forehead, and Sakura crumpled to the floor.

This caused both Lee to dash towards the door for the medic. However, Naruto beat him there. He slid the door open- and barreled right into Hinata. They fell on the ground, hard, with the blonde laying on top of my sister. There was a pause, and both of them just stayed like that, shocked. Jiraya began sketching the scene.

"Good!" he exclaimed, "Stay like that for a moment longer! Do you to think you can passionately kiss?" Hinata-chan and Naruto flushed heatedly. I made a mental note to order the servants to give Hinata-chan an extra-soothing bath today- scents, bubbles, candles, and all.

"Naruto-sama! You finally got a girl!" My head shot up to see a boy standing in the doorway- Konohamaru.

I make a mental note to get myself a nice bath too.

REVIEW!I live for comments! Anything! (Prefferably more than two words, though) Flames, input? You wanna tell me something, then tell me.