**Hey! This is my first fanfic, so bear with me! More chapters will be on
the way- I just wanted to see how this worked and everything. I'm having a
little trouble with paragraph spacing and stuff. hope to sort that out.**
-Rivett
**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of that stuff.**
I know now that real strength comes from within you when you are most afraid. Physical strength becomes an ephemeral concept when that moment comes, for your knees go to jelly and all other senses become numb and unresponsive. Your knees buckle and all the hours of training and building strength leave your mind, even as you try to right them. Mental strength becomes nothing but a wisp floating among the terror, and all reason becomes utter nonsense. You are left completely empty, with only your terror to hold to.
It is in those few moments, the fragments of time in which you are left with only mind-numbing, weak-kneed terror, that you find your true strength. In all my life, I never thought it would happen to me, for ever since I was young I have tried to be in control, to handle and conquer the things that frighten me. I trained every day, trying to be better and more skilled than those around me were, and after a while, I was. I had accomplished almost everything I had ever wanted, and I thought that I could go out into other worlds and handle anything. I knew I was fearless. Fear was behind me, wasn't it?
I will tell you that I have never been so completely terrified as I was that day when Sora began to close the door.
Ansem's power had slowly devoured me. I had not truly seen what was happening until the end, when it was too late. Perhaps before I had known, but simply refused to accept the truth. Maleficent and all the others, they had made it easy. Handing it to me on a silver platter. At the time, that is what I wanted most. Power. Freedom. There it was, right before me. Just six little words from the witch's mouth, and suddenly I could do anything. "Open you heart to the darkness." It had felt strange, the first time. My mind searched for a solution to what she was saying. Open my heart? What darkness? But then it had come, as if someone had shaken me all over. I felt as if I was standing inside an electrical current; my body seemed to explode into a thousand pieces, and for a moment I was swallowed in darkness. I thought I had been blinded, but then my eyes went normal, and I could see. I had felt different, much different, and the change both surprised and frightened me. If I had realized then what I know now, I would have gotten out of there right then. But I didn't. It was just power to me. Just what I wanted, right?
How very wrong I was.
I know now that real strength comes from within you when you are most afraid. Physical strength becomes an ephemeral concept when that moment comes, for your knees go to jelly and all other senses become numb and unresponsive. Your knees buckle and all the hours of training and building strength leave your mind, even as you try to right them. Mental strength becomes nothing but a wisp floating among the terror, and all reason becomes utter nonsense. You are left completely empty, with only your terror to hold to.
It is in those few moments, the fragments of time in which you are left with only mind-numbing, weak-kneed terror, that you find your true strength. In all my life, I never thought it would happen to me, for ever since I was young I have tried to be in control, to handle and conquer the things that frighten me. I trained every day, trying to be better and more skilled than those around me were, and after a while, I was. I had accomplished almost everything I had ever wanted, and I thought that I could go out into other worlds and handle anything. I knew I was fearless. Fear was behind me, wasn't it?
I will tell you that I have never been so completely terrified as I was that day when Sora began to close the door.
Ansem's power had slowly devoured me. I had not truly seen what was happening until the end, when it was too late. Perhaps before I had known, but simply refused to accept the truth. Maleficent and all the others, they had made it easy. Handing it to me on a silver platter. At the time, that is what I wanted most. Power. Freedom. There it was, right before me. Just six little words from the witch's mouth, and suddenly I could do anything. "Open you heart to the darkness." It had felt strange, the first time. My mind searched for a solution to what she was saying. Open my heart? What darkness? But then it had come, as if someone had shaken me all over. I felt as if I was standing inside an electrical current; my body seemed to explode into a thousand pieces, and for a moment I was swallowed in darkness. I thought I had been blinded, but then my eyes went normal, and I could see. I had felt different, much different, and the change both surprised and frightened me. If I had realized then what I know now, I would have gotten out of there right then. But I didn't. It was just power to me. Just what I wanted, right?
How very wrong I was.