Pairings: - Santana/Rachel (eventual), mentions Rachel/Finn, Santana/Brittany

Spoilers: - Right up to 2x15 Sexy and Original Song

M for language and sex!

Notes: - Santana is a mean bitch. Spoilers right though up to Original Song. This will be probably be long, with inevitable Pezberry happening cause they're fun to write. M for language and sex!

Chapter 1 – I've been dying to say this to you.

I'm sitting here right?

Sitting here in this stupid classroom, surrounded by even stupider people. People who have got to be literally off the Richter scale stupid. And as I'm sitting here, it's almost as if my goddamn life is a high school movie slow motion montage. The people around me talking and laughing and being happy, whilst I sit and stew and marvel at my own miserable existence. I mean, come on these people are glee losers. They get picked on every day, yeah sure mostly by me, but they're the bottom of the social ladder, the lowest of lowest inhabitants at Loserville, Ohio and still they're happier than I am.

Me, Santana motherfucking Lopez.

Queen bitch of McKinley.

Hottest piece of ass in this buttfuck town.

I am miserable.

It's one thing to get rejected from your best friend, the one person who just gets you. The one person who finally makes you see what it is that you've been denying to yourself for so long. It's also one thing to see said person happy with someone else, everywhere you turn. The cripple gets more touch then I do, Brittany has effectively cut me off, not that I can be anywhere near her right now. Humiliation isn't something Santana Lopez deals in.

Yet here I sit in glee club, unable to draw my eyes away from her as she sits in Artie's lap, whispering and laughing and giggling and ugh it should be me. It just, really should be me. Barf

"Mr Schue can we get this wrapped, cause you know, there's places I gots to be." I spoke for the first time today, actually addressing somebody in this room.

"Uh, where exactly do you need to be? It's not as if you have anything else going for you right now." Quinn Fabray sniggered from the other side of the room. Still smarting over the Sam situation I guess. Jesus, she's welcome to lady lips. I have no use for him now.

You see if I could slap the blonde off of her right now. Somebody is going to have to hold me back. I swears it.

"Listen Tubbers. If you think for one second, that because I already got your man, men, multiple men, whatever you want to call it, that I won't spend hours and hours intricately planning how I can end you, then you are so wrong, bitch."

"Oh please what else could you possibly do Santana? I'm not scared of you; I doubt anyone in this room is now."

"Umm, I kinda am." Finn hesitantly raised his hand only to be slapped down by Quinn.

"Shut it, Finnessa." I bit back. I'm not taking it from these guys, not today.

"In fact, this morning didn't you get slushied? I can't remember that happening before. Things have changed." Quinn looked directly at me before speaking again slowly. "You're one of us now. "

"Fuck you, Blondie."

"Santana!" Schue's voice boomed throughout the silent room. Everyone was looking between me and Fabray.

Truth is, I wanted to beat her ass, but the fight had gone out of me. The slushie residue still seeping from my hair and on my clothes as a constant reminder throughout the day, and Mr Schue actually looked kind of scary, neck all bulging and as if he was going to go hulk on my ass in his sweater vest.

"I have had enough of your behaviour. Enough of the way you act towards your teammates and enough of the way you disrespect glee club and what we stand for in here. "

"Look Mr Schue, I've just had a really bad day and I—"

"No you look Santana. A lot of us have bad days in here, and you know what a lot of the time you can be the cause of it. Now I want you to shape up Santana, or ship out, because right now we need to focus on the competition and if you refuse to play nicely and take part then I'm going to have to ask you to leave until you think that you can."

"You're kicking me out?" The audacity of the Timberlake wannabe. He surely can't do that.

"No, I'm asking you to take a time out. Go get your head together and when and if you think you can again be a part of this team, then the door will be open for you." He shook his head sadly, as if he thought he really was trying to help me. Yeah right.

Screw these people. Screw Fabray and Finnessa, screw Brittany and her man robot, screw the Asians, screw Puck and The Sumo, screw Wheezy, screw RuPaul, and Lady Lips. Screw them all. I grabbed my bag, heart racing in a scarily way.

This doesn't happen to me.

I don't lose my cool.

I'm Santana Lopez.

"You know something. Everyone in this room is quick to jump on bandwagon. You say I'm the mean one, the bitch, the nymphet slut who tries to ruin people's lives. Well you see me getting a little 'comeuppance' and you all want a piece of the action. Well sorry guys that shit won't fly with me, because you know what. I'm Santana Lopez and I don't need any of you. So bye now."

Rachel Berry doesn't know a true storm out. That was a true storm out. So what if that stuff wasn't true. So what if I do need someone. They don't need to know that. You tell people how you really feel and you get fucked over. Keep your cards to your chest and look out for yourself. And that's exactly what I'm going to do from now on. Even if I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped all over.

Even if I've kind of lost everything.

I look up as I hear the classroom door open and close again. I hear a clearing of a throat, as if the person above me wants to speak, but doesn't quite know how to start. My eyes fall to the Mary Jane's and knee high socks and I sigh and shake my head. FML

"Oh, what the fuck do you want?"