Author's Note: Happy Birthday Remus Lupin! A gift for SableUnstable. AU, post-war, Teddy (as much as I love him) does not exist. Enjoy...!

Thanks, Worthfull1

P.S. I own nothing, anything recognizable belongs to the lovely Ms. Rowling. I also don't own Warren Zevon's 'Werewolves Of London' or Humble Pie's 'Smokin''.

To Have Your Cake...

"Awoooo! Werewolves of London... Awoooo! - " Hermione sang along to the music, spinning around and laughing at herself as the mixing bowl she was holding onto almost flew out of her hands.

It was Remus' birthday today, and she was hell-bent on making him a cake. The man was stubborn about not celebrating, though, so she'd had to wait until he went to work to start baking. After seeing him through the floo, she'd headed to the kitchen to dig out the recipes Molly had written out for her, grabbed her bag and gone shopping. Picking up everything she would need for a three layered chocolate cake, Hermione went back to Grimmauld and got to work.

In truth, Hermione didn't much like cooking, and she wasn't terribly good at it, but if she had lots of time and a carefully worded recipe, it could be done. It helped, too, that for every ounce of stubbornness and reticence Remus possessed, Hermione matched it with determination. It was going to be his fortieth, after all! They had to do something!

Bending over to check on the cake, she didn't hear Sirius enter the room, but she did feel his hands on her waist, spinning her around and taking her in his arms, leading her in a dance that was way too formal for the Warren Zevon she had playing.

"Sirius!" she cried, slapping his chest playfully. "I'm working here!"

"Yes, I can see that," he said teasingly. "What is it about cooking that makes you want to raid my record collection for music?"

She laughed, the sound going right through him. "I don't know - it just works!" Hermione turned around and bent over again, peering into the oven and unwittingly giving Sirius a rather enticing view of her backside. He growled softly, but the music was loud enough to drown the sound.

Hermione had grown into quite the beautiful woman in the years after the war. It was difficult sometimes for Sirius to reconcile the sure-footed, confident and frankly sexy young woman with the skinny, bushy-haired little witch he'd met all those years ago. And not just physically, either. Hermione had grown into her brain as well. She would always remain opinionated, but now she was more tolerant of differing ideas, and more patient in explaining her side of the issue. Where she had once been slightly brash and in-your-face, she was now relaxed, but firm, while still willing to let you cling to your moronic theory as long as you didn't interfere with her.

She and Ron dated for about a year before realizing that they were much better off as friends, but that hadn't stopped them from taking each other's virginity. In a weird way, it made sense to them to go all the way the one time, but they never spoke of it again. Just one more thing to be shared with each other and no-one else. Like battling mountain trolls and spiriting fugitives away on hippogriffs - it was one more thing that would never have felt any more right with anyone else in the world and neither regretted it.

That was the end, though, and she and Ron had stood in front of Molly the next day and gently broken the news to her that Hermione would never become Mrs. Ronald Weasley. Molly had shed a tear or two, but in the end, she pulled Hermione into a bone-crushing hug and declared that she didn't need the name to be family and that she would always have a place at the Burrow. Hermione thanked Molly, but informed her that she was planning on taking up Sirius' offer to move into Grimmauld with him, Remus and Harry.

On the day she moved in, however, Sirius came to the conclusion that asking her to live with them may not have been the best idea he'd ever had. All had gone well until he and Remus had begun helping her stock her bookshelves. It was a hot summer's day and Hermione had worn a small white t-shirt and denim shorts. Classic work clothes. Except that when she reached up to place a book on the top shelf, her shirt rode up several inches, revealing creamy skin and a flat stomach. Sirius stepped in and filled the top shelves for her, but that hadn't solved the problem.

While he was busy on the top shelves, Hermione had apparently decided to start at the bottom, and had promptly dropped to her hands and knees, giving both men the loveliest view either had seen in longer than they cared to admit. Sirius and Remus had known each other long enough to know that, in that instant, they both wanted her. It was a sobering thought, seeing as they hadn't invited her to move in with them with the purpose of seducing her, the fact that they both were genuinely fond of the witch, and both would rather have given Severus Snape a massage than insult or humiliate her in any way, but neither could deny the attraction.

It only got worse the longer she lived there, too. Attraction turned into affection, want into need, and the desire to have her pinned beneath one of them or possibly sandwiched between both was beginning to take it's toll on the two wizards. Luckily (or maybe unluckily), Harry had gotten his own place not long after Hermione moved in, saying he wanted to try things on his own for a while, so Sirius and Remus were left to deal with the problem by themselves - the only upside being that they didn't have to explain longing looks and lust-filled glances to James' son. Of course, that also meant that his presence was not there to unconsciously keep the canines in check.

The moons had gotten worse, too. Remus was quite careful about taking his Wolfsbane (lovingly made by the witch in question), but even with that, Moony was restless. It was taking more and more out of Padfoot each month to keep him calm and prevent him from taking his excess energy out on Remus. The werewolf would pace and howl in the basement of Grimmauld Place, testing the wards and silencing charms the men had set up permanently.

They never spoke about it the morning after. They didn't need to. Sirius was restless, too and no matter how many times he went out and found something soft and easy to distract himself with for a while, the time always came when he had to go home. Home to Hermione. It wasn't a bad thought, and if he had to share her with Remus to make his fantasies happen, then he would. They'd never shared a woman before, but life was short, so what the hell? Anyway, he'd noticed her giving both him and Remus the once-over on numerous occasions, and he'd even caught the scent of aroused woman one night when he'd gotten back after a motorcycle ride. Apparently, the little witch liked leather.

Before his thoughts could once again stray into dangerous territory, Sirius made his escape. "I'm going for a ride, love," he said, watching Hermione stick a toothpick in her cake to check done-ness.

"Alright," she answered, glancing back at him. "You will be home for cake, won't you?"

"Home-made frosting?" he asked. She nodded. "I suppose," he sighed exaggeratingly, making her giggle. Sending her a wink and throwing on his leather jacket, he headed out.

A small sigh escaped Hermione as she went back to work. That man was entirely too sexy for his own good. Checking the time, she figured she had another few hours before Remus got home. Plenty of time to make some chocolate sauce, she thought. Three-layered chocolate cake with home-made chocolate frosting, topped with melted chocolate sauce. She giggled to herself. Maybe, just maybe, that would sate Remus' chocoholic tendencies for the evening.

What she didn't know was that Remus had decided to leave work early that day. It was his birthday, after all, and if he had to listen to one more lousy joke about a magical creature being the new Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, he though he might shove Kinglsey's appointment right back in his face. Remus enjoyed his job, but being the Head of any department had it's headaches, and he was over it for today.

Flooing into the sitting room, Remus went straight for the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a generous amount of Sirius' firewhiskey and downing half the glass before recognizing the scent of chocolate. Cocking his head to the side, he also heard the sound of classic rock being played in the kitchen.

She better not be making something for my birthday, he thought, then set his glass on the cabinet and went to investigate. Walking down the hall, he identified the album as Smokin' by Humble Pie. Laughing at the absurdity of Hermione Granger listening to Humble Pie, he came to a stop in the kitchen doorway. Not only was Hermione listening to the music, she was dancing to it as well. Completely inside her own little world, she bounced up and down and nodded her head to the beat. Remus clapped a hand over his mouth to cover the snort that escaped.

It really was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen in his life, and it more than made up for the crappy day he'd had at work, but it was not to last. Spinning around, Hermione caught sight of him in the doorway and shrieked, jumping so violently that the contents of the mixing bowl she was holding went all over her, covering her red tank top with smooth, creamy melted chocolate that was clearly meant for the large cake sitting on the countertop.

"Remus!" she cried in horror at the werewolf who was clinging to the doorframe in an attempt to not end up on the floor while he howled with laughter.

"I'm... gasp... sorry! Hahaha!" he forced out in between guffaws.

"Oohhh, you arse! What are you doing home anyway!" she shouted.

"I... er... ahem, I had a bad day," he said when finally under control. "So I thought I'd take the rest of the afternoon off and relax." He looked at her and grinned. "I didn't expect to find you covering yourself in chocolate. What did you do that for, anyway?" he asked, his inner Marauder showing itself.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. All the hard work she'd done for him today and... ugh! Smirking, she dipped her fingers in the bowl and, before he figured out what she was going to do, thew some of the chocolate sauce at him, splattering his robes and face. Remus froze in shock. He looked down at his soiled robes, then back up at her and growled.

"Why you cheeky little... give me that bowl!"

"No," she cried, wrapping her arms around it and holding on while pouting at him.

Remus growled again and started towards her. Hermione flicked more chocolate at him, while taking a step back for every one he took forward until her back hit the counter. He didn't stop, though, but continued until she was pressed firmly against the counter.

"Give me that bowl," he repeated calmly.

"No."

Remus grabbed it and started wrestling it from her. She shrieked again and clung to it, but Remus was much stronger and it didn't take long before she lost. Successfully wrenching the bowl of chocolate sauce from her death-grip, Remus swung it far out of her reach, tossing it to the other end of the counter. She cried out and flailed, trying to get it back, but Remus grabbed both wrists and held them to her sides.

She continued to struggle, and he continued to hold her until she tossed her head back to yell at him and realized just how close he was. Her breath hitched as their eyes met, but he didn't move away like she expected him to. Instead, he looked a little shell-shocked, the blue in his eyes flashing slightly amber. Breaking eye contact, he looked her over. There was chocolate on her cheek and a drop slowly making it's way down her neck, and the lower he went, the more chocolate he found. Her tank top was fairly soaked with the sugary confection, and the tops of her breasts were smeared in it. The same breasts that were currently pressed against his chest.

"Was it good?" he rasped.

"Wha- what?" she breathed.

"The chocolate sauce," he explained. "Was it good?"

"Oh. Um, I hadn't had a chance to taste test it. You were home early," she accused.

He nodded, his eyes following that lone drop traveling down her slender neck. It had almost reached her shoulder when he decided to make his move. Ducking quickly, he ran his tongue up her neck, cleaning the sauce from her skin and groaning at the unique taste. He'd thought that chocolate tasted good by itself but now that he'd tasted chocolate-flavoured Hermione, he knew better.

Hermione gasped when she felt his mouth on her neck and shuddered in delight. Oh, she'd had dreams like this. Wonderful dreams that had left her with a desperate need for a cold shower, since she never thought she'd convince him to give this a try. Finally working her wrists out of his hold, she ran her hands up his arms to grab his shoulders as he licked her clean. Once he pulled away and she saw him lick his lips, it was over.

Roughly grabbing his head, she pulled him to her, crashing her lips against his and forcing her tongue inside. She felt hot all over, and the heat turned into a burn as Remus ran his hands up and down her sides. He pressed her even tighter against the counter-top and she could feel him beginning to harden. Suddenly wanton, she pushed against him, shivers going through her as he growled into her mouth.

Not giving himself the chance to talk himself out of this, Remus ran his hands up her sides again, this time taking her top with them and pulled it off her, tossing it carelessly behind him. His mouth immediately moved to her chest, running his tongue along the tops of her breasts and cleaning the chocolate from there as well. He moved lower, tracing the lace of her bra before taking the clothed nipple between his teeth and nipping gently.

"Remus! Oohhh," Hermione cried out and arched, pushing her chest into his face. Remus hooked his hands under her arse and lifted her, settling her on the counter, her legs going around his waist instinctively as they moved against each other. Unhooking her bra, he pulled the straps down her arms and off her body, then took a moment to admire her. She really was beautiful. Not flawless - scars littered her skin, proving her bravery and fearlessness, but not marring her. Nothing could ever mar her. She was perfection.

His hands dug into her waist as his lips closed around one breast, suckling her and making her moan. Her fingers threaded through his hair and pressed him closer while her body arched into him. Soon, she needed to feel skin as well, so her hands left his head and went to his shirt, undoing his buttons. Once he realized what she was doing, he stopped sucking her tit and faced her again.

"Hermione," he said, laying a hand over hers. "I - it's not pretty," he finished, grimacing.

Hermione stared at him for a moment, then took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. "You're a ridiculous man, Remus Lupin," she said, and went back to work on his shirt.

When she'd gotten the buttons undone, she pushed the garment off his shoulders and gazed at him. He didn't have a lot of hair on his chest, but he had enough. Scars covered most of the skin - long, thin, silvery lines criss-crossing his torso. The mark of the beast that lived inside him. This didn't frighten or disgust her, though. If anything, it turned her on even more. Remus was strong and brave, and the lines on his body proved it. Hermione ran her fingers along some of the scars, making him tremble at her delicate touch, then reached up and brought his head back to hers.

They kissed passionately, and Remus found himself needing more. Hitching her legs higher around his waist, he lifted her, turning them around and setting her down on the kitchen table. Leaning over her, he forced her to lay on the cold wood while grinding into her. Popping the button on her jeans, he lowered the zipper and snuck his hand inside, swallowing her gasp. Hermione unconsciously spread her legs wider for his searching fingers and arched as they hit home. She moaned loudly as he moved her panties to the side and snuck one finger, then two inside of her.

He pumped her gently, relishing in how wet she was for him when something made him pause. "What?" she asked breathlessly, upset that he'd stopped. Remus cocked his head as though listening for something, then smirked.

"Nevermind," he said, resuming his task inside her jeans.

Stepping into the house, Sirius was immediately assaulted with the smell of chocolate. Chuckling to himself, he hung up his jacket and began walking to the kitchen to check on Hermione's progress when he heard it. A moan. A decidedly feminine moan. Hermione?, he thought, creeping slowly up to the doorway and peeking in. Sure as shit, there was Hermione Granger, half-naked and spread out on his kitchen table like a human sacrifice, her perfect - chocolate smeared? - breasts on display, while Remus Lupin hovered over her with his hand down her pants.

Fuck! When did this happen? he wondered, unable to tear his eyes away from the moaning witch. He was so wrapped up in Hermione, he almost missed Remus cock his head in his direction, signaling that he'd been sensed. Realizing that he actually didn't care if Remus called him out on his voyeurism or not, Sirius - almost unconsciously - began rubbing himself through his jeans.

He watched Hermione cry out Remus' name as he brought her off with his fingers. He watched Remus remove his soaking digits from her jeans and clean them off with his mouth, savoring her taste. He watched Hermione wiggle her hips in invitation and Remus step out of the cradle of her thighs in order to divest her of her last layers of clothing. He watched the werewolf step towards her again as she went for his trousers, making short work of them. Once undone, they were unceremoniously shoved down to his thighs and Hermione quickly grasped his hard length.

Sirius couldn't contain his moan as he watched the witch that had plagued his dreams and fantasies for far too long work his best friend. He wasn't jealous of Remus, he simply wanted to be included. Unable to help himself, Sirius undid his own jeans and slid his hand inside, pulling out his own hard cock and pumping it, matching her pace on Remus.

He watched as Remus growled and leaned over, batting Hermione's small hand away from his flesh and took himself in hand, running the tip along her pretty, pink pussy, only giving in when Hermione raked her nails down his back and keened. With one swift, smooth movement, Remus buried himself to the hilt, throwing his head back and growling deep in his chest. He began to move, Hermione meeting him thrust for thrust and the sounds coming from the young beauty nearly did Sirius in. His hand was flying over his cock, his hips rocking in a desperate search for friction. Finally, he had to grip the doorframe and risk Hermione seeing him just to stay upright.

Then something caught his attention. Remus was talking.

"Ugh... Hermione... you sweet thing... ," he was saying, interspersed with gasps and grunts. "Tell me you like it... "

"I like it," she answered him instantly. "I like it, I like it... "

"Mmm... tell me... tell me what else you'd like... "

"Remusss," she whined, unable to think coherently with him moving inside her.

"Tell me, Hermione... mmmm... talk to me... ," he insisted.

"I... I want... I don't know!"

"Oh, yes you do... am I... am I the only one... ahhh... in this house you want?"

Hermione's eyes snapped opened and she stared at Remus, but he kept going, never breaking rhythm as he drove her higher and higher. She looked for the anger, the resentment, the accusations she would expect to find if anyone else had asked her that question in this situation. There was none. Only the Remus she knew, the Remus she loved, the Remus she'd been getting herself off to for longer than she cared to admit, but he was right. He wasn't the only wizard in the house she'd thought about, dreamed about, wanted.

"Come on, Hermione... tell me," he repeated.

"I... I want... Sirius, too," she admitted.

"Yes," Remus answered indulgently, smiling at her as if she'd just given him the right answer in class then bringing a hand down to play with her clit.

Sirius couldn't take it anymore. The sight before him, the sounds she was making, the way she took Remus so well and then to hear her admit to wanting him too... It was too much for the animagus and before he knew what he was doing, his feet had brought him into the room and were moving him towards Hermione. Her eyes fluttered open to look at the man inside her, but snapped to him when she noticed his presence.

Hermione had seen Sirius in many different situations over the years. She'd seen him half-crazed, angry, disillusioned. She'd seen him happy, laughing, playful. She'd seen him serious, protective, caring - but she'd never seen him beside himself with lust. The raw, animalistic, untamed look in his steel-grey eyes was totally new to her and the thought that she was the reason for it gave her a unexpected ego boost.

The two men shared a look, but no words were spoken. Remus continued to work her body on his cock and Sirius matched the rhythm with his hand. Deciding against over-thinking the situation, Hermione reached out towards Sirius who cocked an eyebrow at her. He moved closer and allowed her to take over, wrapping his fingers around hers and directing her hand. Soon she wanted more, though, so she raised herself onto one elbow and tugged on Sirius' cock, binging him closer so she could wrap her lips around him.

Sirius' growl at this action was echoed by Remus who was watching. Sirius cursed as he watched his cock disappear beyond her pretty, swollen lips and reached into her hair, grabbing handfuls of curls to hold onto. He began to thrust gently into her mouth as she sucked and pumped, nearly mindless at the situation. It had been a long, long time since Sirius had been involved in a threesome and there was just something about this combination that was making him harder than he'd ever been. Perhaps it was his emotional attachment to both of them. He certainly wasn't attracted to Remus, but he couldn't deny watching him fuck Hermione senseless was a massive turn-on. Add to that the fantasy of Hermione's smart mouth being used in such a filthy way...

Remus heard Sirius moan and shivers went through him. Like Sirius, Remus was not physically attracted to the other man, but watching Hermione swallow him repeatedly was doing interesting things to him. He was so close. He needed her to come with him. Rubbing her clit quickly, he watched her face screw up in anticipation, then felt her begin to tighten around him.

Hermione came spectacularly, strangling his cock and forcing his own completion. She cried out around Sirius and thrashed, bucking her hips and nearly throwing herself off the table in her passion. Remus threw his head back with a shout, emptying himself inside her. He collapsed on top of her, panting heavily, then lifted himself and pulled out reluctantly, falling into the nearest chair.

Hermione's legs fell limply over the side of the table, and Remus could see the wet spot just underneath her cunt, which was still on display. The sight sent a jolt of desire through him as he watched Sirius free a hand from her hair and run it down her body, pinching her nipples and making her squeal as he went, then settle between her legs. He didn't want to give up her mouth, but he did want to hear her scream again, so he rubbed her clit briefly, making her body twitch, then roughly shoved three fingers deep into her.

"Oh, fuck yes!" she cried out, briefly tearing her mouth away from Sirius' cock to shout. Her hips rocked as well as the raven-haired animagus pumped his fingers in and out of her. She was still sensitive from her second orgasm, and Sirius dug deep inside her to find that magical spot. When she squeaked and bucked, he knew he'd succeeded and the snarl he gave was feral. Ramming his fingers in at just the right angle, he moved his hand hard and fast, needing to feel her clench around his digits. Her legs began thrashing, so Remus grabbed her ankles and held her steady as she started shaking.

Her body arched as she fell off the precipice, her legs shook violently and one hand grabbed Sirius' wrist as the other tightened around his cock, making him shout and swear. Hermione gave a cry as she came all over Sirius' hand, coating it with her. When she relaxed, he removed his fingers from her and lifted them to his mouth, carefully cleaning them off and groaning at the taste of her, making a mental note to investigate that further next time.

Hermione watched him suck her own juices off his hand and decide it was time to get back to work. Raising herself onto her elbows once again, she resumed her treatment of his cock, taking him back into her mouth with a renewed purpose. She had come three times now, and he hadn't come once. That simply wasn't fair, so she sucked him hard while reaching down with one hand to play with his balls. It didn't take long.

"Fuck! Hermione!" Sirius shouted, his head thrown back in ecstasy. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna come!"

Hermione's response was to suck harder as his fingers tightened in her curls. Finally, she took him as far down as she could in their awkward position, tugged firmly on his balls and that was it. Sirius seized up, his mouth open in a silent scream as he shot his load down her throat. With one last shudder, he pulled away and collapsed onto a chair, cock still out and glistening as it softened. Hermione licked her lips, making sure to get every bit of Sirius' essence and laid back on the table, sated.

"Fucking hell, Hermione," Sirius said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" she answered, her voice hoarse as she turned her head to look at him.

"I've tried so hard to be good around you, kitten," he lamented. "I really have... but to come home and find you spread out on my kitchen table smeared with chocolate sauce and Moony sucking your tits... fucking hell," he repeated, running a hand through his hair.

Hermione bit her lip. "Do you regret it?" she asked quietly.

"No," came two growls. Remus and Sirius were both looking at her possessively.

"Hermione," Remus began, "I think I speak for the both of us when I say that we have wanted to do that for a while now."

Sirius nodded. "Abso-fucking-lutely," he agreed. "The real question, kitten, is if you want one of us... or both of us."

"Right," said Remus. "Although you should know that neither of us are particularly good losers."

Hermione thought for a minute. "So, basically, what you're telling me is we either do this together or we pretend this never happened and go back to the way things were."

"Right."

She nodded. "Well, in that case - I'll have to go with both."

"Really?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," she said, looking him in the eye. He smirked at her.

"I've made quite a mess down here," he said, trailing his fingers through the hair between her legs. She was quite sticky. "Perhaps I should clean it up."

"Not a chance, Padfoot," came Remus' voice, his hands on her ankles, already moving her legs over his shoulders. "It's my birthday - I get the frosting."

Author's Note: Phew! I think I need a cigarette ;) Perhaps we should have another category for stories like this... what about 'Sirimionus'? Thoughts?

Thanks, Worthfull1