"Hana, dear, are you sure about this? Your games are one thing, but out there, those are real monsters, and you will be in real danger and-"
"I know, mom. But it's kind of too late to back out now. And besides, if I'm able to make a difference out there, it's the right thing to do, isn't it?"
Is it? Or is it really just another game?
"Three years' reigning Starcraft e-sports champion Song-Hana, better known by her handle 'DVa' has joined MEKA's new mech pilot program and will be taking part in the fights against the recurring Omnic attacks that continue to threaten our coasts. It is expected..."
"...to make landfall in about 40 minutes. Everybody gear up and get to your mechs."
Glhf
"Mommy! Mommy, where are you?!" Six-year-old Hana is standing amidst the rubble and smoke, crying, but she can't find her parents anywhere. "Daddy! Daaddyyy!"
"Hana, where are you? We're here!" Her mom's voice is coming from that direction. Hana starts running, but after just a few steps the ground trembles and she falls, scraping her knees and palms.
Hana's eyes begin to tear up and she starts sobbing, but she gets up and continues running in the direction of her parents, when suddenly a loud roar splits the air, followed by another tremor and she hits the ground once more. "Oow!"
A figure extends a hand to DVa to help her up, her face hidden in shadow due to the bright light behind her. "What I'm saying is, we'd love to have you on our team. The world can always use more heroes."
"The name's Reinhardt. Here's to good teamwork." "Fareeha Amari. But aren't you a little young to be fighting in a war?" "I'm Mei, it's nice to meet you, DVa."
"The armory's this way, love. You got your first mission as part of Overwatch tomorrow."
40 minutes, my ass. The thing is already here and rampaging through the inner city.
Cue boss theme
"DVa , on your six!" Bang. "Got it, you're clear."
"I would've been fine. But thx anyways. You better watch your own back, Psythe."
"Relax, you're talking to a pro." A massive leg comes down, shattering the ground all around, and then a black maw opens and the dark green mech vanishes.
Rekt
"Psythe! Psythe, come in! Jae-sung!" "MEKA-07 has gone dark. Everyone, report. What's going on?"
Hang on, that's not how that happened
MEKA-06 and MEKA-05 have gone dark. "MEKA-01, what's your status?" This isn't right MEKA-04 goes dark. This never happened MEKA-03 isn't responding. "MEKA-01, come in! DVa, what the hell is going on?"
No, no, no, this is all wrong
MEKA-02 goes dark. "Watch out, DVa, you've got incoming!"
This is just a bad dream
"Taking fire. Critical systems damaged. Engaging emergency ejection. Ejection systems failing."
Come on, wake up
A massive dark shape filling the entirety of her wind shield.
MEKA-01 goes dark.
With a gasp Hana awakened, panting and her heart racing. As she opened her eyes, she found herself in her bed in 'her' new room, staring at that unfamiliar ceiling. Just a dream.
But of course now she was wide awake nonetheless, and after several minutes of tossing and turning she gave up and got out of bed with a frustrated grumble. So much for sleeping any time soon. Stupid nightmares.
Nothing she could do about that now. Hana decided to just go for a walk through the base for a bit until she got tired again. She left 'her' room and started pretty much randomly wandering through the dimly lit hallways, her bare feet making next to no sound.
What was wrong? Hana should be happy, downright overjoyed. After all she had the unique opportunity to work with Overwatch – however clandestine –, alongside heroes such as Reinhardt, Tracer and Mercy. So why wasn't she happy? Why did she feel out of place, like she didn't belong?
It wasn't that the other members weren't nice. Everyone was friendly to Hana right off the bat, though of course some were more sociable than others, and all of them were experts in their fields, and if there was one thing Hana could respect it was skill. She wasn't intimidated or anything by these real life heroes either, because DVa was pretty much a hero herself, and besides, they had approached her to get her to join, so that wasn't it either. It was just... everyone else was so different from her and... distant, probably would be a good way to put it.
For starters, everyone was just so much older. The next youngest member was a whole 7 years off, and others were legit double and triple her age. Most of the time they were professional enough to not treat DVa like a child, but she had seen – and still saw – traces of doubt about such a young member in some of their expressions. And if they could see Hana now, running around sleepless and worked up over some stupid dream, they'd probably see their suspicions very much founded.
Hana had hoped maybe Tracer would be into gaming since she was relatively young too, and she was closest to her in age too, so she'd tried to befriend the woman, but it didn't quite work out. Tracer was super nice and all around a positive and fun person, but still... For one, while Hana knew pretty good English from her gaming career, actually speaking and understanding speech still gave her a bit of trouble, and Tracer's accent coupled with her relatively fast manner of speaking didn't really help matters.
But the bigger problem was, Tracer was a very social person and got along with quite literally everyone at the base, and she loved being around other people. Which was great and all, but Hana ended up being dragged along and awkwardly taking part in whatever gathering Tracer came up with with a bunch of other members, and after she wound up feeling like the fifth wheel one too many times, Hana returned to keeping to herself in the downtime between missions. It was better like that anyways.
Hana hadn't really been paying attention to where she was going, but she noticed she'd ended up in a part of the base that was practically dark safe for the emergency lighting, the science wing, if the signs on the walls were to be believed. Whatever. The whole base was structured in a way that made it very hard to get truly lost, so she'd always be able to find her way back, but right now she was just fine, there were less odds of running into anyone else here.
Her thoughts returned to her dream. Hana hadn't been able to sleep that well the last few days, but this was the first time she could recall any of her dreams with any clarity, even if it had actually been pretty far from the truth: Psythe had been the only casualty during that mission, and DVa hadn't even been close when it happened, she'd only heard it over the radio. And while her father's cousin had been killed by the kaiju, Hana's family had lived way inland, so they'd never been directly attacked, or even been anywhere close.
But of course none of that took away anything from the sheer terror Hana had felt waking up. And it was stupid! She wasn't a frightened child, she was DVa, the number 1!
...Then why did she feel so much like a lost little girl right now?
It wasn't a single one thing, but more like all of the things adding together. Suddenly being given the chance to join Overwatch was a great honor, but also a responsibility. And so many new impressions. Seeing this huge secret base, and hearing tales about things Hana had only read about in history books, by people who had been there. Meeting all these real life heroes and going on missions alongside them. Yet outside said missions, in her downtime, Hana kept feeling like a stranger, alone amidst a crowd.
Of course, around others and on missions, DVa was still as bright and cocky as ever, but outside of combat, sometimes she couldn't help feeling just a little anxious. When she had been with MEKA, DVa was only up against monstrous Omnics, clearly evil machines, and if she stayed on her guard, risk of injury wasn't all that high, that made it easy to treat just like a game. But now she was fighting all kinds of opposition, including various terrorists and criminals, other humans. And they didn't fight fair either, so injury was much more real this time around, and without Mercy's almost miraculous healing technology, DVa wouldn't be in any shape to even pilot her mech anymore by now, if not dead.
And apparently all this shit had to condense into fucked-up dreams and ruin Hana's night. But it was just that, pointless dreams, and she really shouldn't let it get to her like this. But she did, and it annoyed her to no end.
With a shout Hana slammed her fist against a wall, and suddenly her tiredness, frustration, loneliness and everything else that had been piling up came crashing down on her and she sunk to her knees, feeling her eyes begin to well up. This is embarrassing. Hana tried to force down the tears, but right now everything just felt like too much, and she was still on the verge of breaking down crying. Come on, get it together! She couldn't let anyone else see her like this.
"DVa, is that you? What are you doing here?"
Oh, god dammit.
Hana took a deep breath and did her best to straighten her face before looking up. Mercy was standing next to her, wearing a labcoat and carrying a clipboard, she probably had been doing some experiments or whatever.
"Is something wrong?" Mercy's worried expression made Hana realize just how pathetic she had to look right now, sitting on the floor in her sleepwear, an oversized t-shirt and some shorts, and about to start crying over some stupid dream. Like a little child. Part of her wanted to just jump up and run away, but that wouldn't do any good. But she didn't really know what to say either.
Mercy had seemed to Hana like a very compassionate person, but she also was a long-time member of Overwatch, and if not leadership per se, very high ranked, and Hana knew the doctor was opposed to violence and war, so there was no way she approved of persons as young as Hana taking part in combat, especially if she got to see scenes like this. And besides, if she told Mercy what was wrong, Hana would look like even more of a child, so there was just no way...
"I can tell something is bothering you, what's the matter?"
"...It's nothing."
"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. Medical confidentiality, remember?" Yeah, but even then... "I'm a doctor, that means it's my job to help people. So, Hana, please, if there's anything, anything at all, you can come to me, okay?"
Mercy warmly smiled at her, the white lamp shining from behind her actually creating the imagery of a halo, and after several seconds of silence Hana finally muttered an answer. "...Couldn't sleep, bad dreams."
With a small sigh the older woman sat on the ground next to Hana, then suddenly leaned towards her and gave her a hug, wrapping both arms around her, and Hana could faintly smell a trace of disinfectant emanating from the medic. Wait, what? She wasn't actually sure what sort of reaction she had expected from Mercy, but most definitely not this.
While Hana still was processing what just happened, Mercy pulled back, but left a hand resting on her leg. "It's alright, Liebes. Everything's going to be fine."
DVa frowned. "What the hell, doctor? I'm not a small child that needs to be comforted!"
"No you're not." Mercy didn't seem at all bothered by the sudden outburst. "You're a strong young woman fighting in this just like the rest of us. But everyone needs someone else sometimes."
Hana tried to protest, but Mercy already continued. "Almost every single member of Overwatch, past and present, ends up having nightmares at some point. It's... not 'natural' per se, but it is to be expected in our line of work, it's the price we pay. But when I look on all the good Overwatch has done, the lives we saved, I can't help but think it's worth it."
Huh. Interesting. "Mer- I mean, Doctor Ziegler-" "Please, just Angela." "...Angela, do you have bad dreams too?"
Angela nodded. "Sometimes... all the people I couldn't save keep haunting me. Especially one man..." She trailed off and shook her head "Nevermind, let's not talk about him."
"But regardless, I think I know how you feel. Almost everyone here had a bit of a hard time starting out. Myself included."
"Really?" Practically all Hana had seen of Mercy had been completely collected and professional, so she couldn't really picture the doctor looking all lost like Hana felt at all.
"Yes. I may have been a few years older than you, what was it... 27, I think, but even then I was all kinds of nervous and insecure at first. Do you want to hear the story of my first mission?" Angela asked and Hana nodded.
"Sure." She felt herself slowly winding down a bit, apparently just talking and stuff actually helped. Who would've thought.
"Also." Angela started "Like I said, I was 27, and Overwatch had recruited me in light of my development of the first generation of Asklepios nanites, to work as a combat medic. I don't even remember most of the details of my first mission, somewhere in the middle east I think, but I remember how much of a mess it was. Before that, I worked as a surgeon, and I had shifts in the ER too, so I was already used to the sight on injured people, and I'd encountered some really awful wounds before, so I thought I could handle some combat injuries. ...Von wegen. There were screams and explosions and mayhem all around, and the people I was trying to heal were in the middle of combat and getting shot at. I was getting shot at."
"It was terrifying." Angela let out a long breath. "Nothing I ever experienced in the OR could have prepared me for this. I remember just freezing up a few times until some squadmate snapped me out of it, and I think without Reinhardt shielding me I wouldn't have survived even my first day."
"In the end, we did complete the mission, but just barely. There were a huge number of casualties, including one Overwatch agent, and multiple more suffered permanent damage or disfigurement. The Commander told me without my help the bodycount would have been even higher, but back then that was only a small consolation to me. Immediately after the mission I kept running around tending to the wounded until I literally collapsed from exhaustion, and it was only when I woke up I noticed there was a piece of shrapnel still embedded in my thigh."
"Oh. Wow." Suddenly Hana's own worries seemed a lot less significant in comparison. Did everyone here have a story like this?
Angela continued "And even now, when I have a bad night, the events from that day more than any other mission come back to me. All the dead and wounded..." She paused for a few moments, her expression somber. "Ask anyone else, it will be little different. Reinhardt, Torbjörn, Fareeha, Lena- okay, maybe not Lena, but that girl really is the exception."
"Oh my, I'm getting way off track, aren't I?" Angela stopped herself, but Hana shook her head. "It's fine. And I think I'm actually feeling a little better. So, um, thanks."
"That's good to hear." Angela gave her a warm smile. "I guess what I was getting at... If there's anything you need, or maybe just talk or whatever, I'm there for you."
Did Hana really look like she needed- okay, yes... right now she did. And just maybe she'd actually get back to that offer at some point. "Got it. Thank you, Angela."
Angela stood up, then held out a hand to pull Hana up, and for the first time she noticed even without her Valkyrie suit the doctor was a fair bit taller than her. Then again, so was almost everyone else. But fun things came in small packages after all.
"I'll be returning to my room, I still have a bunch of data I need to analyze." Angela said, and after a moment added "If you want, you can come with me, you could sleep on the couch."
Um, what? Did Angela really just invite Hana to her room in the middle of the night? ...Okay, it was way immature to interpret it like that, obviously the doctor was just concerned about her and trying to help. But she didn't need concern. DVa shook her head "I'll be alright. Good night, doc."
"Oh... Well, if you say so. Good night, Hana." Did Angela just look disappointed for a moment as she turned to leave? No way, right? Clearly it had just been her imagination, the pale emergency lighting really sucked for the eyes.
...Then again, Angela had been the first person who'd actually tried to make contact with Hana and tried to empathize with her. And on second thought Hana didn't really feel like going back to her room alone, she wouldn't be able to get much sleep anyways. So...
"Hey, Angela, wait! I changed my mind!"
"There you go." "Thanks." Angela handed Hana the steaming hot mug with a bit of cream and chocolate flakes floating on top, and after blowing on one side for a moment she carefully took a small sip, letting the taste spread through her mouth. The heat was just barely tolerable, and even if it was not particularly sweet, the hot chocolate had a very intense yet nuanced taste, with a hint of various spices, including cinnamon and vanilla.
"Wow, this tastes awesome!" Hana took another large sip – and promptly burned her tongue a little, muttering a curse in Korean.
"Thank you." Angela smiled "It's a traditional Swiss recipe I learned from my grandmother." She booted up her PC, then went into her bedroom, returning with a fluffy blanket she placed onto the couch.
"Like I said, I have a bunch of data to go through, so I'll be busy a while. You should try to get some sleep." Angela indicated the couch. "You can arrange the pillows however."
"'Kay." As Angela sat at the PC, Hana walked over to the couch before dropping onto it. "You know, doc, thanks a bunch for, well..."
"Oh, that's nothing, Liebes. You just seemed like you needed this right now."
"...Yeah, I guess I did." Hana stifled a yawn. "But still, thanks."
She emptied her hot chocolate, and after shuffling around all the pillows on the couch for a bit, wound up just dumping all of them onto the floor except one she used for her head, her small frame easily finding enough space on the couch, then draped the blanket over herself, pulling it up to her chin.
Hana didn't really think she had much hope of falling asleep again, but the couch was very comfy, and she was really tired, and the sound of the rhythmic tapping of Angela's fingers on her keyboard had an almost soothing effect, and before she knew it she was drifting off to sleep.
Hana didn't have any more nightmares that night.
AN: The initial dream sequence was way hard to write (thanks to my sis for a few pointers for that), and I'm still not sure it's quite surreal and nightmarish enough, but what can you do? The shifting between 'Hana' and 'DVa' several times is not me being sloppy, but an intentional literary device (but it doesn't mean she has a split personality). Also tfw when you write about hot chocolate, so you have to look up recipes first, and then you have to go and try out said recipe before you can continue. EDIT: Apparently the formatting doesn't like me rendering Hana's name as 'D. Va' without the space , so unless I find a workaround, it's going to be 'DVa' for the time being. (If anyone does know a workaround, please let me know).
As usual any feedback and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.