Their watch beeps, barely managing to fill the silence.
Usually Pidge likes the quiet. Likes the mental focus silence can bring. Likes to take a break from Lance's sarcastic jabs and Keith's fiery response to those jabs. Likes to escape from Hunk who is leveling up into the ultimate mother hen. Who's often armed with a dish or two as a means to fatten Pidge up.
Likes the quiet press of Shiro beside them. His prosthetic humming away when he scans his screen next to Pidge. The hours seem so short when he's near….
The silence is not as comforting now. From their lion's eyes all Pidge can see is distant stars flickering far away. The emptiness feels compressing, choking with every computer click as Pidge tries to figure out where the hell they are.
It's to the point where there's only one thing left to do. Ramble.
"STUPID wormholes. I mean of course the Galra screwed up the wormhole. It's not like they have anything better to do! Geez, and the only person who can find where we freaking are is magical Allura, who's probably at the other END of the UNIVERSE. You would think that maybe we'd put in better communicators in our lions. Ones that work trillions of lightyears away, but noooooooo. And I bet a million dollars that the Castleship is broken…again. So it's not like they can just warp to pick me up."
Since humans have to breathe at one point, Pidge exhales hysterically. But the words still claw out desperately.
"I mean what am I going to do? This place, wherever this pocket of space is, might be crawling with Galra! Do I lay low? Do I fight random Galra by myself and most likely get wrecked? I mean I'm getting better of course but fighter pilot was NOT my class at the Garrison. Do I look for Shiro and the others? Do I actually start looking for Dad and Matt? What should I DO?"
Groaning, Pidge starts to bang their head somewhat lightly on the console. Poor Lion. They're not trying to abuse it; they're just trying to meditate aggressively
Think, thump.
Think, thump.
THINK! Thump.
Too bad it doesn't help much. Or stop the feelings of utter frustration. Of being lost. Of being practically, disgustingly useless. Wait. They pause for a moment to rest their cheek on the flat surface. They've been through that menagerie of emotion before.
With their mom.
"I don't like it." The light is stark in the kitchen as it reflects off of mother's jewelry; "I don't like this at all Katie." Katie's teeth grind down as they try to maintain eye contact.
"Please Mom, listen to me!"
"I thought that allowing you to visit the Garrison would help you find some closure. That collecting your father and brother's things would help you find peace. Not, escalate…" she gestures wildly, "This!"
"Closure? Closure for what?" Katie hits the counter and the dishes rattle, "Closure for a lie? I told you that I hacked their video feeds; the Kerberos mission didn't fail!"
Fists tighten and their nails are just long enough to hurt. "I told you there was no 'pilot' error, No 'faulty' equipment. The Garrison has no idea what happened. They're just pumping out garbage so the whole world doesn't realize they're pieces of shi-!"
"Katie!" The name rings shrill and Katie jerks at the uncommon sound.
"Why won't you believe me?" No. No. They won't cry. They've done enough of it. It's time to get angry. Angry is safe.
Mother's face crumples, "I-I do." She reaches for Katie, almost corralling them in her arms.
Katie dodges. A hug could break them now. "Then why won't you help me?"
"Because I'm tired of Space taking everyone I love!"
There's a hiccup in their throat as the phrase freezes them in place. The embrace lands and it's as terrible as Katie imagined. Her mom and Katie grip each other as if trying to squeeze the bones, but that doesn't stop tears craving new tracks on their faces.
"I-I just want the truth! I will find the truth! Why aren't you mad at them? Why don't you do something?" Katie blurrily stares at the PHD's mounted proudly for Mom. Who else could attract someone like Dad? Who else would be a housewife while doing computer engineering for fun?
"Katie…" She says stroking their hair, "I know this is very important to you, that the truth is very important to you, but what if it doesn't change anything?"
What. "What?"
"The Garrison has always been half incompetent. Or at least that's what your father would say. But what if you do find the truth and in the end it doesn't matter? In the end they're still gone. In the end they're still de-"
"Don't say that! You don't know that!"
"No. I don't. But what if Katie? What if I don't want to know?" Katie gasps and starts to struggle. "What if I rather not know and…just have a part of me believe they're alright? Instead of knowing completely and absolutely that they're not?"
"You're confusing me! Why would you?" Katie muffles wetly on Mom's shoulder.
"I'm sorry my darling, but people deal with loss in different ways," She whispers back. "This is how I'm dealing with it. But my way…won't work for you, will it?"
"I just want to know. Mom, please." They shake together and her mother, her wonderful mother, sighs.
"…alright. Fine."
"hmmm?" Katie mumbles. Their eyes feel so heavy. Are all emotional fights this exhausting?
"How you're getting back into the Garrison?" Katie stiffens. Huh, now they're wide-awake. "You always have a plan, don't you?"
"Well…" Katie leans back trailing off. They give a quick rundown of the scheme.
Mother just stares at her daughter. "What? It'll work!"
"Unfortunately...it probably will." Taking their arm, Mother leads them down the hall. "Follow me, I want to give you something."
Matt's room still looks like a hurricane blew through it. Papers line the floor and half-finished mechanics crowd every flat surface. Katie almost expects Matt to burst in and say, "Oh Katie. You're here, great! Come take a look at this." Like he always does. Or like he always did.
They leave footprints in the dust on the floor and Mom starts rumbling through Matt's scratched up desk.
"Here." She places a small object into Katie's hands. "These could help you, and Matt wouldn't… mind if you had them."
They're Matt's old glasses. Meant to be a spare and weak enough that they won't hurt Katie's eyes. The simple frames are cradled hard against the heart. It's funny how something so trivial can suddenly be so precious.
"Your Father enjoyed speaking like an inspirational quote book." Her mother smiles wryly, "But he's not here so let me try. Good people talk about doing something. Great people get it done."
She gently pries the glasses from her daughter and lightly sets them on Katie's nose. Then Mom cups her child's face to press a kiss against their forehead.
"Now go out there and be great."
Pidge's breathing has gotten better now. Smooth and deep, they lean back and steeple their fingers.
It's time for a plan.
They wouldn't want to disappoint Mother after all.
Step one: Move.
They activate stealth mode and the Green Lion purrs at the action. Pidge's lucky they went crazy modifying that feature before the Hellstorm hit. With longer invisibility they'll be able to travel in relative safety.
Step Two: Pick a direction and fly until you hit something.
Pidge cringes mentally, physically. It's a Lance-Worthy idea, but it holds merit. If they hit a relatively peaceful planet they can possibly gain intel on their location.
If it's a Galra ship…Pidge is going to hack their systems to death.
Until they rip every piece of news and information from it. Until they steal every part of Galra tech to use for the cause. Then they're going to blackout that piece of trash. Rendering them a floating metal cage with perhaps a blinking rescue beacon if Pidge is feeling benevolent.
It's highly unlikely.
Step Three: Find their family
Which includes their team, thank you, because Pidge is not even going to lie to themselves that the Paladins have joined the small circle of people they care about. At this point it's first see, first find.
And you better believe they're gonna catch them all.
"Sooooo," Pidge drawls with hands on the controls and putting them in gear, "Which way do you want to go, Green Lion?
The answer vibrates in their head and Pidge smiles.
"We're going to be great."
Notes: I read a post on tumblr about someone telling POOR PIDGE'S MOM, where they were because they could be out of their minds with worry. There's often a trope about the parents shutting down their kids to the point where the kid sneaks out to do their plan anyway. Where the kid will go behind their parent's back because the parent doesn't believe them or refuses to help them. But the more I thought about it, more supportive Katie's family seemed to be. So I kinda wanted to try something different. I wanted to create a scenario where Mrs. Holt knows EXACTLY what's going on. And where she encourages Pidge to spread their wings in her own special way.
Plus I tried to do more showing than telling in my work. Or at least a little less telling...
