100 Days
Prompt: Fight
Pairing/Character: Draco
I looked into the mirror and I barely recognised myself. Instead of myself looking back at me, there was an overly pale scared little boy with dark bags under his eyes and untidy hair. The overly confident pale and well present man I was use to had gone. I no longer had the abilty to scare people with one glance, because instead of being frighten or running away they looked worried. They were worried for me, and if I was to keep everything I was doing a secret I couldn't look like this. Yet I couldn't make that little boy leave, he had control of my body. However it was the confident and well present man that had gotten me into this mess, he could talk the talk but when it came to walk the walk he vanished: leaving this scared and pathetic excuse of a human being behind. In reality it was I who had gotten myself into this mess and it was I who left this boy as my replacement.
This boy looking at me wanted to give up on everything: his dreams, his family, his lifestyle and most importantly his beliefs. This boy wanted to go confess everything to the Light and get the Light to protect him from the Dark. He knew there he would be protected and they would do the best to protect his family. But he also knew that going into the Light would anger the Dark and the dark would just swallow his family into the darkness, never to be seen again.
On the brief moments I – the overly confident one - came back into reality I would tell this boy just to 'man up' and get it done. I'd tell him that he was smart and had everything to be lost if he didn't complete his task. I told him he could do this and nothing was impossible.
However that stupid boy wouldn't listen. He would cause conflicting emotions that were so strong; he would just be foot steps away from the light. Then I would come back and pull him back to where he belonged. Even though at times I didn't think he belonged in a world full of evil and darkness. But he had to get it done, or I'd lose everything.
The little boy would get the work done but there was times when his sense of right and wrong got in the way. It would hinder progress and make me one step behind – ultimately leading to me failing. I wish I could just fight this little boy and beat him up like I would do to those who annoyed me. But in a way he was just too strong. He believed in everything that he was told; he believed that if he just walked into the light that everything would just be okay. He believed that in the brightness of it all he would find his family there, and they wouldn't have to worry about a thing, it would all be taken care of. Since good always beats evil, and light always concurs dark.
But there was another reason I couldn't beat this little boy up. I couldn't fight myself and lose. Everything that I was going through made more of my true personality come through - making the cocky, arrogant arse less powerful every day.
But every time I would realise this it was always in front of a mirror. I always didn't like what I could see. I'd punch it and the mirror would crack.
"Reparo," I'd always say.
Then the cycle would start all over again.