Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to Paramount Pictures, Marvel Entertainment & Marvel Studios (gods-damnit !) - though my gut tells me Loki, bless her, may well have her own ideas about that and will probably do what she wants anyway … No copyright infringement is intended.

Warning: Most definitely and undeniably AU and contains references to dub-con, rough sex. If this triggers any bad memories/recollections, please don't read any further.

A/N 1: This may be a wee bit familiar as it's a re-vamped event from a deleted fic I wrote for a different fandom and can be taken as a sequel of sorts to "How A Heart Breaks."
A/N 2: The title is taken from Lady Gaga's song of the same name.

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I Like It Rough

Loki rolled across the surface of the mattress and flopped onto her belly with a soft sigh. Shivering slightly beneath the thick, soft furs, she reached out for her favourite source of warmth and comfort. Her "fire."

Thor.

Long, slim fingers drifted across the space where her god slept and came into contact with ... nothing. Merely air. Startled, her sleep-softened, emerald eyes immediately flew open and a puzzled frown graced her lovely face when she realized her bedmate no longer lay at her side. That she was alone. Ever since he'd taken her to his bed and thoroughly claimed her as his goddess, much to her pleasure and delight, Thor had always remained with her, even in his past few weeks of anger. Either draped across, spooned behind or simply holding her in his arms as she slept soundly in his embrace. Safe in the knowledge that she was protected. Desired. And loved. But now, she was dismayed to find herself alone. Without her beloved warrior. Her protector. Her guardian ... and despite what everyone else thought and believed, her soulmate.

Worried about him, she sat bolt upright. All traces of slumber gone. The sudden movement caused a slight discomfort from her waist down and made her wince. Loki grinned ruefully at the memory, trapping her full, lower lip with her white, even teeth. She recalled the way Thor's thick golden mane tickled her sensitive skin; the feel of his large, powerful hands gripping her body tightly, re-inforcing his claim upon her, which she'd greedily welcomed after weeks of denial; talented fingers playing her responsive body as skilfully as a gifted minstrel played his harp ... the graze of his beard against her breasts ... Loki closed her eyes and re-lived it all in her mind. She gave another gentle sigh as she saw, in her mind's eye, her god caught up in the throes of passion ... could almost feel his weight bearing down upon her; his long, thick erection pounding her relentlessly, every thrust, hard, powerful and unerringly hitting her sweet spot, making her reel with pleasure and weak with need. Loki bit her lower lip firmly to stifle the lustful moan which threatened to escape and felt a white-hot heat pool in her loins. Even now it amazed her that the mere thought of Thor was enough to make her wet for him. So needy. Full of lust and desire.

His sudden need for her last night had been unexpected and far rougher than usual. Thor had taken her silently, almost beserker-like in his intent, with a need so savagely primal it had taken her breath away. Although she hadn't been fully prepared for him, she'd welcomed his attention despite knowing that he'd not been focused upon her and had been concentrating on his own needs. The knowledge that he'd used her to slake his lust, to try and assuage his own ire and sense of betrayal did not matter ... All that mattered to her was that he had found solace in her arms - that she'd been able to provide him even a brief respite from the intense grief and sorrow he continued to suffer over Fandral's recent heinous attack on her friend, Sigyn.

She heard a low groan from the vicinity of the fireplace and her gaze followed the direction of that sound. There, in a chair in front of the fire, was her god. Naked, except for his unlaced leather breeches, Thor sat with his elbows resting upon his thick, muscular thighs, his head bowed. She could hear him berating himself, the tone of his husky, gravelly voice soft, yet full of self-hatred and venom. He appeared to be the perfect image of misery, regret and self-recrimination.

"Svass ... ?" Loki spoke softly, not wanting to upset him further. "Thor ... ? How long have you been there ?"

Startled, his head flew up, causing the fair braids to brush against his broad shoulders. "Not long enough ... " he murmured. "Go back to sleep, little one- "

Loki shook her head obstinately. "Not without you, Thor ... Come back to bed, oaf, before you catch your death ... It's freezing ... and I need my precious "fire" to keep me warm- "

Thor shook his head in denial and reluctantly met her gaze. "I can't, Trouble ... I daren't ... Not afte- " He snorted quietly. "Death would be merciful …"

Confused, Loki wearily swept a swathe of blue-black hair across her shoulder and eyed her god who seemed intent on punishing himself for Norns only knew what. He broke eye contact and turned to watch the flames dancing in the hearth with unseeing, agonized blue eyes.

"After what, Thor ? Tell me ... please ?"

"After what I did to you last nigh- " he whispered hoarsely as his powerful shoulders slumped in defeat and he sank back in the chair.

"I'm sorry, love, but I don't understand ..." Loki watched him through bewildered, verdant eyes, clearly not knowing what had upset him so gravely. "What about last night ? What did you do that's so bad that you're beating yourself up about it ?"

"You were there. You know as well as I do, Lo- "

"I don't ... I'm sorry if I appear stupid, but I don't remember you doing anything wrong ... anything bad- "

Thor gave a tired snort of disbelief. "Not do anything wrong ? Anything bad ? 'Course I did ... I crossed a fucking line last night. Did something I vowed I'd never do to a woman ... especially the one I claimed ... The one I profess to love ... the very one I've sworn to protect ... After what I did, I'm no better than fucking Fandr- "

Shocked and infuriated by that last remark, Loki sprang from the bed and crossed the room in an instant to where he sat. She stood in front of him, silently fuming.

"Bollocks ! That's sheer fucking bollocks, Thor and you damn well know it ! You're nothing like that vermin. Nothing ! D'ya hear me ? You could never be anything like him even if you tried ... Look at me, you daft oaf ... I said LOOK. AT. ME !" When he doggedly refused to meet her gaze, Loki gave an impatient sigh, grabbed his chin and forced him to meet her eyes. "Now, look at me and heed my words ... and you better mark them well, Thor Odinson, or there will be hell to pay. D'ya understand ? You, and I repeat you are nothing like him. You'll never be like him. Never, Thor ..."

Tears silently fell down his face as he spoke quietly, his voice raw with pain and genuine regret. "But I am, little one. I am. I'm far worse ... I took advantage of you. Hurt you. Didn't think or care about what you wanted ... how you felt. Only about myself ... My needs ... And don't you dare deny that you're hurting ... Say that you aren't feeling any pain. Because you are. I can tell by the way you move. I took you ... forced myself upon you- "

Loki inhaled sharply, shocked by what was bothering him so deeply. So that's what had him so worked up. In such a state of intense self-loathing. And so riddled with guilt ... She moved to stand between his legs and lightly traced her fingertips across his jaw line and his lips, triggering a deep, sudden intake of breath by him.

"D-Don't, Loki ..."

"Don't what, Thor ? Talk to me."

"Leave me be ... You deserve better. I don't deserve you. Nor your forgivenes- "

Without warning, she pushed Thor's elbow off his right thigh and quickly sat down on it. Loki bit her lip, as she felt powerful sinews flex and tense beneath her weight. Seeing him about to make some sort of protest and to stop him from getting up, she immediately looped a slim arm around his neck to prevent dislodgement from her perch.

"Bull. Shit," she remarked huskily. "That's a load of piss 'n' wind if ever I heard any, idiot ... I think I know you well enough by now to know you'd never do something like that to me." Aware that he was about to protest once more, she gently laid a forefinger against his lips to silence him. "Shhh, love ... Now I may be younger and in comparison with you, more naive, but give me a little credit here. I do happen to know the difference between an oaf and a rapist. You may be a lot of things, Thor, but a rapist isn't one of them ... and right now, I know what I'm faced with. An idiot. My stubborn, argumentative, all-in-balls-out idiot of a god, who I happen to love very much- "

"Bu- "

Loki slowly shook her head and nestled closer to him, seeking warmth from the chill in the room. "No "buts," svass ... I love you, you damn fool. Warts 'n' all. And I trust you with my wellbeing ... my safety. And my life. Implicitly ... And despite what you say, you may believe that I deserve better, but I've made my choice. I know my own mind ... Who my heart wants and my body craves. It's you, Thor. I choose you ... I don't want anyone else. Only you ... Only you ... Never doubt or forget that. Even for a moment."

She paused to fleetingly brush her lips against his and absently trailed a hand repeatedly over his left pectoral muscle. "And as for that nonsense about you taking me against my will ?" She snorted and shook her head in denial. "Aye, I was there and that's not exactly how it happened. The only thing that was different was that ... I wasn't expecting you to want me ... that I wasn't ready for you. And that's why I protested and am feeling sore. Because what happened last night was a little rougher than usual." She lightly ran her tongue across her lower lip as she collected her thoughts. "D'ya honestly think, for an instant, that I'd allow you to take anything from me that I was unwilling to give ? To bestow upon you of my own free will ? You know, deep down, as well as I do, that I'd fight unto death and scream blue murder if I were unwilling. If I had not wanted you, I wouldn't have laid myself bare to you ... allowed you to lie between my legs ... let you take me. I'd've fought, Thor ... played merry hell with you and you know it ..."

Loki tenderly wiped his tears away and rained light butterfly kisses over his face, before taking hold of his earlobe with her teeth. She tugged, nipped and worried it gently. A low growl escaped his lips, giving her hope and she felt his arm snake around her waist, securing her against his hard, muscular torso. " Now, can you honestly say you heard me deny you anything last night ? At any time ? Truly ?"

She saw Thor's brow furrow as he tried to recall what had happened. He slowly shook his head.

"That's right, I didn't. I couldn't ... Didn't want to, Thor ... To deny you would be like denying myself and I couldn't do that. To either of us." Loki paused to gather her thoughts. "And if anything, last night made me realize that sometimes, I do like it rough ..." She felt Thor's fingers skim across her left cheekbone and met his clear blue eyes which were filled with awe. His jaw dropped in stunned disbelief at her words.

She grinned before commenting impishly, "Shut your mouth, Thor ... if the wind changes, it'll stay like that if you're not careful !"

The Thunderer's eyes narrowed at the remark, before she heard him growl, "gods-damned Minx ..." under his breath. She laughed softly, and then burrowed even closer against him in order to gain some of his body heat.

"Thor ..."

"Hmmm ... ?"

Loki idly scratched some abstract patterns across his broad chest with a fingernail and murmured, "Next time, y'know, when the uh, urge suddenly strikes you ... when you ..." she ducked her head beneath his chin so that he could not see her fiery cheeks. "When you want me ..."

Thor tilted her chin up with his finger, making it impossible for her to avoid his curious gaze. "Aye, Mischief ?"

"J-Just give me some warning. Just tell me, aye ? Now, take me back to bed. I'm cold. And I need my "fire" to warm me up ... I'm going to hold you to that promise you made - that you'd always be my fire," she said huskily, "so you better not break it ..."

FINIS