Second Chances
Jacen knelt on the ground, his brown eyes pleading with her. As Jaina flew through the air, about to kill her twin brother, she felt something wrong. She realized what when she heard it.
(this paragraph is from Invincible, by Troy Denning) Her brother was reaching out to Tenel Ka, screaming at her through the Force, warning her there was danger, urging her to take Allana and…..
Jaina awoke with a start, her forehead sticky with cold sweat. A shiver ran down her spine. She'd been having nightmares about Jacen ever since……
Her brother had become a monster, something inhuman. Jaina had sought training from the famous bounty hunter Boba Fett himself in order to bring Jacen down.
When she'd seen Jacen, when she'd caught that first glimpse, she'd realized he wasn't Jacen Solo anymore. He was Darth Caedus, no part of her twin brother left. She'd known when she'd seen the angry yellow eyes that had taken over his once brown ones.
Split seconds before Jaina had drove her lightsaber through his chest, he had been Jacen again. Hearing her brother screaming at Tenel Ka like that had made her think twice about killing him. She had been forced to make a choice that not only affected the fate of her and her family, but also the fate of the galaxy. Kill her brother and keep thousands of people safe, or leave this monster alive to kill more innocent people. But what if it wasn't too late? What if he could come back to the light?
As Jaina had been flying through the air, ready to take her brothers life, listening to him scream at Tenel Ka, she knew it wasn't too late. He still had love underneath all of his hatred and anger. So, as she landed in front of Jacen, she turned her lightsaber off, wondering if she'd just made a huge mistake.
Jacen looked at her bewildered. "Jaina, what are you doing?" he asked.
"Giving you a second chance." she half snarled.
Jacen looked at her completely shocked. "After everything I've done, I don't think I deserve a second chance." he told her honestly.
"I don't either." she started, "So prove me wrong."
Jacen looked at her, his eyes brimming with tears. "Jaina, I'm.."
"Don't Jacen." she told him harshly, her eyes welling up with tears too.
"Jaina, please?" he pleaded. "I need you to know."
"Fine!" she snarled at him.
"I'm sorry for everything I've done. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't." he began. "I don't expect or deserve for you to forgive me, but you need to know that I'm sorry." he finished.
"Jacen, it's a little late to be saying that you're sorry! Would you even be saying sorry had I not tried to kill you?" Jaina yelled at him.
A tear rolled down his face. "I don't know." he told her.
"Jacen!" she cried. "You killed Aunt Mara! You tortured Ben! You tried to kill Uncle Luke and our parents! You kidnapped Allana!"
"I know, Jaina." he spoke softly. "I'm sorry."
"Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it, Jacen!" she nearly shouted.
"Then why'd you keep me alive? Why didn't you just kill me when you had the chance?" he yelled at her.
"Because, Jacen. You're my brother. I love you." she yelled back.
"Jaina, I'm a monster. I've done so many thing I wish I could take back, and I can't. I've killed so many good people, I'm ashamed of myself. Everyone I've ever cared about hates me. Why do you still love me?"
"I've always known you better than anyone, Jacen. I guess I knew you could come back. I knew that you needed a second chance. That's why." she told him.
"I love you too, Jaina." he told her.
There was a moment of silence as they both cried silently. Jaina walked over to where he was and hugged him. He needed it.
"We should go see mom and dad." Jaina suggested.
"Do you think they'll talk to me?" Jacen asked nervously.
"It's worth a try." Jaina told him.
"Okay then. Let's go." Jacen said, still sounding nervous.
When they got onto the Falcon, Han and Leia were already waiting for Jaina to return. When they saw Jacen step in behind Jaina, their expressions changed from happiness, to sadness, to shock, to anger, and then back to shock.
"Jacen?" they both asked at the same time.
Leia's gentle eyes relaxed a bit, she smiled and then went to hug her son. He welcomed the embrace and they both began to cry. Han just stood there, not sure of what to do. Finally he decided to give his son a hug as well, although he did it reluctantly.
"Mom, Dad," Jacen began, "I'm so sorry. For everything."
"Damn right you are." Han growled.
Leia elbowed Han in the stomach at this and told him to listen.
Jacen looked at them again, almost shyly, and started to talk again. "I'm sorry beyond anything I can say. I don't expect you to forgive me." he told them.
"Jacen, of course we forgive you." Leia told him.
Han remained quiet, just staring at his son.
"I said we forgive him, honey." Leia said through clenched teeth.
"I don't know if I can, Jac'." Han told his son.
"What?" Leia exclaimed.
"No, Mom. It's fine." Jacen said.
"No, it's not Jacen! Han?" Leia spoke angrily.
"He killed Mara, tortured Ben. He tired to kill us and Luke, plus he killed thousands of people." Han yelled.
"He's our son!" Leia snarled.
"You expect me to forgive a monster? You want me to just forget everything he's done and act like nothing happened? Is that what you're asking?" Han yelled.
"No, that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking you to forgive our son." Leia replied gently.
"I'm sorry, Leia. I can't love a monster." Han replied stubbornly.
"What ever happened to unconditional love, Dad? You should love your family no matter what." Jaina told her father.
Han smiled. "Jaina, you really are an amazing girl."
Han took a deep breath, and faced his son. "Listen son, I'm sorry, but you've done some terrible things. I love you, but it will take some time for me to forgive you."
"Okay. That's all I want, Dad. Thank you." Jacen replied gratefully.
A minute later, Luke walked into the room. When he saw Jacen there, his eyes widened in shock.
"Jacen." Luke greeted him, still surprised.
"Uncle Luke." Jacen greeted him back.
Luke met Jaina's eyes, his expression curious. "Is everything okay?" he asked Jaina.
"Everything is fine." Jaina replied.
"Listen." Jacen started. "Uncle Luke, I'm really sorry. I wish more than anything that I could take back what I did."
Jacen began to cry again. Luke looked at him, deciding what to do. Finally, he made up his mind. He walked over to his nephew, and wrapped his arms around him, tears pouring out of his eyes as well.
"Jacen, everyone makes mistakes. I…I forgive you." Luke told him.
"Uncle Luke, you don't have to. I just don't want to cause any more problems." Jacen told him.
"No, Jacen. I want to forgive you. I do forgive you." Luke assured him.
Jacen looked at him gratefully. "Thank you, Uncle Luke."
Luke nodded at him. "I expect you want to see Ben?" he asked.
Ben was sitting in the cockpit, fiddling with some of the controls.
"Ben?" Jacen asked timidly.
Ben turned around, and when he saw Jacen, his reaction was almost the same as his father's. The only difference was that Ben's expression was angry. "What do you want?" he snarled at Jacen.
"To talk." Jacen replied.
"About what? How you killed my mom?" Ben asked angrily.
"I want to apologize, Ben. I wish I could take it all back." Jacen told him. "I'm sorry.
"Whatever, Jacen!" Ben told him furiously.
"Ben, I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I don't know what else to say." Jacen apologized.
"Jacen, the only reason I'm going to forgive you, is because I don't want to become a monster like you." Ben replied meanly. "Also, I don't think my mom would want me to hate you forever."
"Thank you, Ben. Your forgiveness was the most important to me." Jacen told Ben.
Ben walked over and hugged his cousin. Jacen then realized how grown up Ben was now. He'd forgiven him for killing his mother, and torturing him. He was being very mature and selfless about all of this.
"I missed you, Jacen." Ben admitted.
"I missed you too, Ben."
They walked away to go be with the others. When they arrived, Jacen realized that he had a wife and a child to apologize to. "Dad?" he asked.
"Yes, Jacen?"
"Can we go to Hapes, please? There's something I need to do." Jacen asked.
"Sure son. Of course we can." Han replied.
When they arrived, Jacen got to Tenel Ka as fast as he could. She was in her room alone, dark make up smudges all over her face as if she'd been crying. She looked up at Jacen with a look of sadness that is nearly killed him.
"Tenel, I'm…"
"I don't want to talk to you, Jacen!" she yelled at him.
Please? I need to say something." he pleaded with her.
"Hurry up!" she snarled.
He hadn't seen her in so long. She was so beautiful. He loved her so much and he was sorry for all of the pain he had caused her. "I'm so sorry for everything. I love you and Allana more than anything. I don't blame you if you don't, but, can you find it in your heart to ever forgive me?"
"Jacen, I don't know." she replied, as she began to cry.
"Please, I'm begging you." he said as he sunk to his knees in front of her, tears rolling down his face, his eyes pleading with her.
"Oh Jacen! Of course I forgive you. Just promise me that you'll never hurt me like that again!"
He smiled, rose to his feet, and kissed her after whispering "I promise" sweetly in her ear. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Their daughter ran in and they broke apart smiling. Jacen knelt down, and looked at his smiling daughter. She was beautiful, and looked just like her mother. She threw her arms around his neck and he smiled and hugged her back.
A tear rolled down his face once more, as he wondered how his family could find it in their hearts to forgive him, when he couldn't forgive himself.