I know, I know, the last thing anyone wants to see is me posting a new story in a separate fandom entirely. Fear not my beloved followers, this is me trying to get Merlin out of my head so that I might return and finish those fics I've let sit for so long. Merlin has been incessantl jabbering in my ears since I finished the series last... year? Anyway, I wrote this ages ago and have been staring at it in my computer telling myself that posting it would be a bad, bad idea. But no more, all letting it sit has done is distract me. So here Merlin fandom - I know you have no idea what that was all about and probably don't care - enjoy my ficlet. I have another one sitting around, but posting it shall be my reward for completing my previously started fandom fics.
And w/o further ado: I do not own Merlin.
"Have you ever wondered about what happens to your person after you pass away?"
"We go to Avalon of course; everyone knows that."
"But who said this? Who ingrained that into our minds? I want to meet this person who knows about the afterlife."
"Ah… well I do suppose that's a valid point. What brought this on?"
"I am an old man, Merlin. I have heard many tales and seen many things. One thing I have yet to see, I have yet to know, is what comes after. I- I broached the subject in one of my meetings in the past. An advisor spoke up, he told me about a theory of his family's; a rebirth, so to speak."
"And… what was this theory?"
"That after a person dies, there spirit leaves their body and they are reborn as another person. They start life anew."
"That doesn't sound… horrible."
"Ah. But they do not remember their past selves; they do not know of what feats they may have accomplished from their lives before. They have no knowledge what so ever of anything, they just are. So it then repeats. It terrifies me."
"…I don't know what to say."
"It frightens me beyond belief. Some days, I'll be in my routine, and then out of nowhere something will make me consider death and what comes after, and I'll just freeze. Like a panic-attack. Everything I do in this life will be forgotten, maybe not by others, but by me instantly. My wife, left behind mourning my passing will be held with no regard by my newly formed self.
"I will grow up as a happy child, laughing in some stranger's home. But this stranger will be my family, and my family the stranger. Were I – as this new child – to meet my children as adults, would I feel safe with them, would I feel recognition? Or would I simply nod and ignore them as children are wont to do?
"I don't know. And such thoughts seize me in the midst of average and inconsequential events. I tremble and I quake, and I yearn for knowledge, but remain lost and frightened of the truth. Merlin, I am scared."
"I have honestly never considered death to such lengths."
"Always so eager to die for your master, yet you know nothing, Emrys your dedication has always caused me wonder. And now that I have poured my fears on you, I apologize, please forgive me and do not dwell on these feelings of mine. I never meant to give you distress. I only seek to know."
"Nay Sir, your words… they intrigue me. As soon as we are free of these blasted dungeons, you may bet that I will put many a noon to figuring out the answer. Though I cannot promise anything will come of it."
"Emrys, you are too wonderful. I thank you."