"Time travels at different speeds for different people.
I can tell you who time strolls for,
Who it trots for,
Who it gallops for,
And who it stops cold for."

- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

"Sister, we have a problem!"

With the purple-haired ditz's powerful proclamation, all eyes drifted away from the wooden room's distractions and towards her form. It was about time this meeting got started; it felt like everyone had been waiting forever for anything to happen!

... Which was a pattern that would continue just a tad bit longer. Several seconds passed before any follow-up words were uttered... so one bold black-haired woman, sitting just beside the instigator, slowly raised her hand.

"Um... Neptune? There's more than just one person in here... and FYI: none of us are your 'sister'!" Why, it was none other than Lady Black Heart of Lastation... or Noire, if you will. A CPU, or a goddess for all acronym haters.

A dry voice on the opposite side of the table snickered. "Being married is close enough."

"W-What's that supposed to mean, Kei?!" Kei Jinguji, to be more specific. A woman Lady Noire knew all too well: she was the Oracle of Lastation. If you don't know what that exactly means, join the club!... Oh, but fine: an Oracle's duty was to oversee their appointed nation and... well, make sure things stayed all bright and sunshiny. So shiny, rainbows could fly out of the land's butt.

All four nations had a CPU, as well as an Oracle. Generally, each nation tried to stay segregated and do their own thing... but due to recent (and by now, not-so-recent) 'events', borders and alliances had since let up. Still, it was never a comforting sight to see the key members of each land meeting in a professional environment, for that usually indicated something was very wrong. No, that's an understatement: should such an occurrence ever come to pass, Gamindustri itself would probably quiver in fear at the cruel possibilities!

... So, here the key members of each land currently were, all clad in their typical attire. It was time to get down to business.

Important business. "What I mean is, you two have been married for over a year now. You know more about Lady Neptune by now than her actual sister does."

"S-So?! Does that excuse her lack of a plural?! A-And I don't like your tone! How would you like it if I were to poke fun at you and Blan—"

"AHUM!" The smallest figure in the room, Planeptune's Oracle (and token tome fairy) Histoire, cleared her throat, commanding all pupils her way next. "I believe we have more pressing issues to discuss than Neptune's way of speaking!" Everyone around the circular table, including Neptune, mumbled in agreement, some more reluctantly than others. Sensing that everyone had settled down, the tiny leader nodded her head as resolutely as one could when their feet have never once physically touched ground... or so we think. "Good. First things first, I must thank you all for joining us here on Planeptune. I pray your journey was a peaceful one?"

A pair of restrained buoyant breasts jiggled across the table, secretly drawing Kei's gaze... and the sheer ire of Lady White Heart. The ballistics-equipped center of attention, Lady Green Heart, frowned. "Yes Histoire, we experienced safe travels... but I still do not understand why we must hold this meeting in Planeptune! In accordance with the pattern we long ago established, Leanbox was next in line! My poor sister here spent hours preparing the tables, setting up the fine china, and even taping name-tags to the chairs!" She motioned for her Oracle, the lovely Chika Hakozaki; a pseudo-green-haired dame in a black dress that left little to the imagination, not that many of you probably mind. The woman would've taken her cue to speak up... but she was busy looking pissed, visible smoke rising from her ears. We'll... see plenty of her later, don't you worry.

... Oh yeah, and perhaps it's best to get this out of the way right now... before any grammar/capitalization fetishists have an aneurysm. A common question people may ask is: what's the correct term, 'oracle' or 'Oracle'?! Well, ask no more! You see, there was actually a poll over a year ago to decide on the proper written form of the important title! It was determined by 68.99999% of the vote that 'Oracle' should be capitalized from that point forward (but not necessarily when chronicling events earlier than the poll in question). It was rampant sexism, because if the Oracles were bald doods instead of four attractive young women (hey, Histoire has a vocal fanbase, with a new doujin coming out like every month!), the word would obviously be treated with far less respect. As much respect as you have for parentheses.

So there ya have it. The more you know!

Anyway, the aforementioned popular tome fairy simply shook her head at Vert's query. She pointed a tiny index finger at the shrinking Mina sitting close by. "Yes, Leanbox should've been next... but we must be respectful to Mina's... *you know*!"

The bespectacled Oracle of Lowee, Mina Nishizawa, shyly nodded before coughing into her fist. "Y-Yes... I-I am still not ready to... step foot in the Leanbox Basilicom again... I humbly apologize if this upsets you, Vert." Mina and that castle in the Land of Green Pastures had a certain little... *incident* over a year ago... If you don't know the tale, it's best to not pay it any heed. It's a... LONG story...

"... Oh, fine, I suppose this is better than S.R.A.T.S... It can not be helped," the blonde goddess relented, "but the next important meeting should take place within my domain! We will be on the first floor, Mina; nowhere near the top-floor window!"

"I-I'd appreciate that... Th-Thank you, I'll be ready by th—!"

"Yo, enough dilly-dallying!" Neptune suddenly interrupted, desperate to steal the show. "We have a big big BIG problem, and—" A decisive finger, one fit for an ace attorney, shot towards the Planeptune Oracle. "— Histy's gotta tell us about it! Do your thang, Histy!"

Noire sighed. "Wait, Neptune... didn't you start this whole thing off? Why don't YOU explain?"

"Are you really asking that, Noirey? You want ME to explain somethin' important?"

"... Good point."

Histoire simply shook her head as she smiled over at Mina, before putting on a determined expression once more. "Yes, it would be wise to jump straight to the point: as I'm sure you know, Shares across Gamindustri have been down on an... unsettling global level!" Should 'Shares' be capitalized? Should you give a hoot? "It is nothing disastrous just yet, but recent trends indicate a downward slide we haven't seen for a long time. A natural slide, I mean: the war last year was... something else entirely." At that comment, Lady Green Heart awkwardly scratched her cheek. "The summer months are the roughest they've ever been, no doubt due to the peace spreading across the land... and this is why we have joined together today: we must come up with a way to boost back up Shares, forthwith!" It's bad when the person who usually takes three days to make any substantial decision is telling others to hurry up.

Murmurs spread around the room like rumors in an elementary-school classroom, and suggestions began flying around with greater verve than two kids rushing to steal candy from a bowl in a pantry.

"Well, a concert is the best bet. That worked well for us a couple times," Noire suggested, flicking one of her twintails purely for fanservice no one could see.

Kei didn't seem too convinced. "We lack an immediate star; Miss Lyrica is on break, remember? Besides, we must avoid oversaturation of our backup plans."

"W-Well... wh-what else ya got?!"

The purple-haired ditz suddenly clapped her hands! "I got it! A GIANT pudding public bath! Pay a thousand credits to enter and sooth your troubles away! All proceeds go to me!"

It's coming! Can you feel it?! Here... it... is! "NO!" Ah, wasn't that satisfying?

From there, the proceedings proceeded to proceed proceedingly.

"How about a giant book reading meet? Gather everyone to read my books before I publish 'em. Best damn things they'll ever have in their hands."

"I do believe a bake-off would be a much more splendid idea!"

"I'll bake YOU, bitch!"

"Ooh, how about a WARM pudding bath?!"

"That's NOT happening, Neptune!"

"Um, it's all the rage with the children nowadays, so why not a 'Pocketed Monstrosities YO' meet-and-greet?"

"Why aren't our sisters here, anyway?"

Everyone around the table continued talking and speaking and vocalizing and orally-'verbing'... except for one. One Oracle, the steaming red-eyed Chika, sat in silence, somewhat peeved that Vert hadn't asked her for any input.

Well... enough was enough! She was to be silent no more!

"HUMPH!" she shouted as she leapt from her chair and landed perfectly on top of the rectangular round table. The ensuing crash as a flowerpot tumbled to the floor drew all eyes without fail. Shishishishishi! "You're all looking at this wrong! These plans are too *simple*! Er, 'ish'! Too plain! Too small-scale!"

"Oh, really?" Lady Black Heart said, interrupting her rival nation's higher-up. "Well, what's *not simple* enough for you?"

A colorful sparkle escaped from the mint-haired girl's snarky grin. She might need to get that checked out. "What're some of the biggest moneymakers in the world? HOLIDAYS! If all our Shares need a quick boost, or a mighty fine kick to the rump, then we need to capitalize on these things!"

"... Holidays?"

"Holidays...?"

"H-Holidays?!"

"Holidays!"

Slowly but surely, light bulbs went off in our fair maidens' heads. Well, Neptune's needed replacing, but still. This... made sense, actually! Well, kinda, but that's what detail-ironing was for!

But when one door closes, many more open... Many confusing, nonsensical, irritating doors. "That... could work," Histoire surmised as she cupped her chin, "but alas, it is only the end of July... August and September are dry spells, unfortunately."

"Well, if that is the case..." Mina continued, happy to placate her small friend. Is... she trying to impress the floating tome? Interesting... "It may be unorthodox to even consider, but... why don't we CREATE a new holiday instead?"

Oh boy, she just kicked the hornet's nest with that one!

For the sake of time and poor dying pixels, the party took the idea and ran with it. Unfortunately, they made plenty of stumbles in their dash.

"'Easter 2'!" "'Christmas Too: Christmas Harder'!" "'Smack Talk Valentine's Day'!" "'Love Day'!... Y'know, where we plant a few Love Trees?" "'Everybody LOVES Mina Night'!" "I don't know, 'Same Old Lang Syne'?" "Ooh, ooh, 'The Shrewing of the Tame'!" "All's Well That Ends Well!"

All... barn-burners, definitely. Most using italicization AND single quotes as well, how... stunning. Did they need to? Nah, but isn't it important to go that extra mile? Hmm, no, it's not? Look, sometimes liberties need to be taken for readability purposes, so just accept certain things!

These were such grand ideas, Histoire could feel her brain melting. She hadn't been this disenchanted since that time she and Croire may have went on an interdimensional date! Oh, but we're not supposed to know about that...

"Gah, we're getting nowhere!" Noire hollered, pulling her hair as she sank into the uncomfortable wooden seat. "These ideas are all terrible!"

Vert reluctantly nodded in agreement. "Yes, they do leave much to be desired... Hmm, Chika!" Oh, what's this? She shifted her head towards her 'sister' at long last! The mintette had casually sat back down during the previous chaos, for the record. "Since you first brought it up, what about you? Which holiday would be the wisest, you think?"

Music to her ears: Verty was ASKING her for input! Suh-weet! The Oracle opened her mou— "Fweh, yeah right!" L-Lady Black Heart?! H-Hey, this isn't your turn to speak! "Trust Chika with this?! How's that 'Summer of Leanbox' sale going? That was her idea, right?"

The chest-blessed goddess squinted her eyes at the somewhat-brash tsundere. "The 'Summer of Leanbox' sale was a perfectly-valid idea, and I offer Chika nothing but praise for it!" Upon hearing this, Miss Hakozaki's face lit up like last year's Christmas tree! "... It was simply ahead of its time! A... simple sale featuring simple games that..." A horrid pause. "T-The world was not yet ready for Chika's plans!" Blammo! Just like that, the tree burst into flames. Kinda like the time Nisa and Gust knocked one into the fireplace. Which one toppled it over again? It's been a long time.

"Ha! I don't think the world will EVER be ready for Chika's *plans*!" Yipe, the chide remarks keep coming!

"I'll have you know, Chika is a mastermind when it comes to plans! Sure, she may play it safe more than others expect, but safe is reliable!"

"..." Safe? Reliable?! How... *ugly* are those two words?! Noire was totally dissing the scantily-clad professional, and... Vert was unable to refute her statements! Suddenly, Chika felt smaller than she ever had. Well, discounting the shrink-ray incident, but the less we remember that, the better the chances of a complete acquittal in court.

Dang it... She needed to find a way to... turn this beat around!

"... Halloween."

Like moths drawn to light (and, according to rumors, brunettes), Vert and Noire snapped all their attention to the goofy concocter... and like the internet towards the next 'big' thing, everyone followed suit. "W-What? H-Hallow...een?"

Tugging on her left earlobe like it was a raw piece of pork, the long-legged Oracle smirked. "Yep, that's right! Halloween! I know, it's still a couple months away... but how about we make a pre-Halloween?!"

"And how the hell will that freakin' work?!" Blanc grunted, sounding like an old man refusing to leave his armchair. "What good could Halloween do?!"

Madame Jinguji shrugged as well, similarly to a wannabe-stoic teen getting invited to a school dance for the first time in her life. "And more than all that, this is still a single event. We need something more... *grand* than one night of... candy exchanging."

Vert nodded along with her contemporaries, only serving to dishearten Lady Chika some more. Geez, guys, throw her a bone every once in awhile! "Indeed... B-But, it is an interesting thought, dear Sister! I applaud your efforts!"

... The Oracle found their lack of faith disturbing. Not even good ole Greeny-Beany... believed in her. "V-Vert..." No, don't give in now! She... could still salvage this, somehow! If one night of Halloween wasn't *grand*, then...

"Well, then how about SEVEN nights?! A full week of Halloween fun! How about the first week of August?" What a cinch! Man, pulling plans outta your rump is EASY! "An' before you all question how this'd actually affect Shares, it's pretty simple! I've read the Oracle handbook inside and out... and there's a pretty nifty loophole concerning, like, every single item purchased in grocery stores! If we can manipulate branding— AKA, each nation sells local candy instead of big-name brands— a majority of the profit can be converted into Sharicite! Hell, costume stores too; this is the best holiday we could wish for! Add to all that the prospect of people young and old giving and receivin' candy, and morale will surely skyrocket! One night would be sweet, two would be awesome, and three would be unbelievable... but SEVEN?! We'll be swimming in so much Shares, we'll have to CREATE new villains to threaten peace and stability in Gamindustri!"

Go on, someone?! Tell her off! Tell her how this plan wouldn't work or how she was just a goof who had best play it safe! Any takers?!

... But no, there were no 'takers'. Surprisingly, not a one single individual saw fit to raise any objections. Some hesitant questions, sure, but no outright objections. Haha, take that, self-doubt! This positive reinforcement— technically brought on by nothing negative— made her grin like a young adult imagining a steamy webcam chat with the friend she secretly loved since childhood!

The group deliberated just a bit more, before Histoire blurted out the obvious question that needed answering. "First week of August, correct? That's exactly one week away... so we must make haste with our preparations! But, if we are to really commit to this idea... then this holiday will need a proper name! Please, share your suggestions!" NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Neptune immediately raised her hand. "Yo! Pick 'Halloween 2.8: Final Chapter Prologue'!"

Noire sighed. "Dear lord, Neptune, that's the stupidest title of anything... er, ever! Besides, everyone will agree that 'Halloween H20' is the best choice! Um, n-not that I agree with this s-stupid holiday in the first place, or anything!" Ding ding ding! We've done it! We've met our quota!

"Eh, how about 'Halloween .7'?" Blanc said with an eyeroll. "It's before Halloween, and Neptune said that shitty 2.8 thing... so why not get rid of the '2', subtract '.1' from the '.8'... and voila, we picked an even dumber name!"

Vert stuck out her tongue from across the room. "Us settling on that name is as likely as you growing out of the body of a twelve-year-old!"

As eye lasers clashed between two CPUs who had so much passive-aggressive unresolved sexual tension between them that they were at risk of developing terminal blood clots, the victorious Chika Hakozaki stood tall, crossing her arms like a true arms-crosser. "Hehe, I 'play it safe', Vert said?! Well, it's hard not to when everything I do works out like a charm! Seven nights of Halloween... What could possibly go wrong?!"

A Week and Four Days Later...

"And that's what went wrong..."

As she stared at the scantily-clad Oracle, Cave couldn't help but sigh in resignation. "I leave you alone for one day— JUST one day— and you get your upper torso stuck in a window? The BASILICOM'S window?" Her hand gestured towards the building in question: they were standing right in front of the yard of the crime scene.

Chika bashfully cast her face downwards, the red on her cheeks threatening to spread in the air. "It... didn't look so small from the outside..."

"You're lucky this isn't one of Lady Blanc's *adult* stories..." the SMD warrior mused, absentmindedly tugging her shirt to remove any crinkles. Her usual outfit was missing, replaced instead by... the most stock golfing shirt and skirt imaginable? "You can explain the specifics to me later. How much trouble are you in?"

The Oracle was about to reply... but a different Oracle took the cue instead. "Allow me to answer that," Kei said as mechanically as possible. Does she sound like that on purpose? Either way, in her hands was a simple piece of paper... albeit, one peppered with an ocean of words. Something Neptune would never manage to read, that's for sure. "Let's see here... Date: the fourth night of 'Halloween .7'. Time: Approximately 9:05 PM. Case Summary: Lady Chika, Oracle of Leanbox, attempted to break into the Lastation Basilicom via one of the first floor kitchen windows. There was no need to penetrate the glass, for the window was apparently unlocked. No one was home due to the holiday..." The short woman's serious eyes narrowed as she looked at the perpetrator in question from the corner of her vision. "Lady Black Heart returned to drop off her 'stash' at 9:30 sharp... and discovered the home invader halfway through the window frame. She pulled her out... and guards were promptly called to apprehend her."

"When you put it like that, I sound like an idiot..." Poor Chika grumbled, still too ashamed to look up.

Cave didn't quite know what to say. "... Oy vey..." Yeah, that about cuts it. "Well... Can she be let off the hook? I know this was—" A glare blasted towards the red-eyed woman's forehead, "— an EXTREMELY IDIOTIC thing to do, but I am certain Chika didn't mean any harm. No harm, no foul, correct?"

The silver-haired Oracle simply shook her head. "I am sorry, but Chika's indiscretions can't simply be handwaved away. Lady Noire seeks retribution of some kind."

"That... makes sense..." The red-haired soldier knew that something had to be done to make this better. Drat, and just when she had started getting into golf! Well, attempted to 'get into' golf, at least. Jai Alai and Bowling hadn't quite done anything for her, so she was hoping that—... M-Moving on! "What does your Lady ask of Chika? Whatever she needs to do, I will see to the task's expedient completion. If I must, I will even shoulder some of the workload."

This last point finally caused Miss Hakozaki to raise her chin, her wide eyes saying more than words... though she spoke anyway. "C-Cave?! No no no, I screwed up; why should you suffer too?!"

It was indeed quite odd for the warrior to so readily offer to pay for the goof's mistakes; usually she'd force Chika to deal with her problems head on, not request to HELP her! Even so, Cave kept her face blank, as if this was the norm. Ah, trying to give Kei a run for her money there. "I can't help but feel responsible, Chika. Your problems are my problems... We've been dating for seven months, and I knew what I was signing up for on day one."

"C-Cavey..." If that didn't drive home the guilt, what would?

Kei, interestingly enough, seemed most impressed. "That's dedication! I'm not even sure Blanc would do the same for me, at least not as quickly." The second the boyish woman mentioned her relationship with Lady White Heart, Cave involuntarily winced, though no one else noticed. Weird... Perhaps a dust particle simply blew into her eye at the wrong moment? "Well, I suppose I can't stop you... and I am sure Chika will need all the help she can get."

"It's fine, really. I'm just sorry this had to happen in the first place," the soldier replied, crossing her arms. The urge to once more tug down her one-size-too-small uniform shirt proved too strong, alas, and her limbs ended up leaving the pose almost as soon as they had entered it. "What must she do to obtain expiation?"

"I know what you're saying, Cave; using fancy words to confuse me won't work anymore."

Lastation's Oracle ignored Chika's mumblings and nodded her short-haired head. "The list of demands are as such: for starters, Chika is to follow a strict curfew for the rest of Halloween .7's duration. So, three days of staying indoors once 5 PM rolls around. Oh, and may I remind you that it's already 4:30 PM."

"W-What?! B-But who will escort Vert?! Who will carry her candy?! Her breasts weigh too heavy on her back as it is!"

A smirk crossed Cave's lips, though Kei still completely ignored the outburst. "But that's not all: attempting to sneak into the Basilicom, whether the CPU is present or not, is a serious offense. As such, it will take—"

"I'll deliver the news, Kei! You are excused!"

A sudden voice sounded from the regal structure's front door... and all faces immediately turned to see Lady Black Heart, standing as tall as Planeptune Tower. Okay, that's not a simile, that's a blatant lie.

The SMD warrior's attention was helplessly drawn to the tsundere's jewelry-clad ring finger as she walked forward. Kei politely bowed out, adding a quick "Good day, I'll see you all later tonight..." without any further clarification, before she took her smooth leave. Definitely off to see Blanc, seeing as she's not returning inside her official dwellings. Odd, that one.

Nodding in the affirmative to her ally's exit, Noire next turned her twintailed head to the downtrodden home invader. "Let's get right down to business!" That'd be a first. "Chika Hakozaki! For attempting to break into the Lastation Basilicom— MY Basilicom— you are mandated to serve out 108 hours of community service! No exceptions!"

"W-What?!" Chika's eyes bulged even greater than before, and Cave likewise displayed more shock than she'd typically allow herself to. "Isn't that a bit too disproportionate?! It's not like I added an apostrophe in the wrong place on the internet, or went streaking through the supermarket! Besides, you haven't even let me explain myself ye—"

"You're lucky the punishment isn't worse! You TRIED BREAKING INTO my nation's most sacrosanct of buildings!"

"The Jai Alai courts?"

"NO! Grr... when did you become so much like Neptune?!" The married-yet-eternally-young goddess shook her head in frustration, and the SMD warrior turned slightly away to hide her snarky grin. "Keep this up, and I won't even give you an offer to..." Woah, that's one sly look she's wearing, Cave internalized. "... get out of your sentence faster."

Chika seemed to get the hint at once, and her right eyebrow arched, a centipede determined to be more cute than creepy. Haha, good try, but it'll never work. "... Go on...?"

Noire could've easily grinned like a victorious level grinder, but nothing can ever be so simple when dealing with those of the super-tsundere lifestyle. So, instead of simply trying to gloat, she pretended to pout by puffing a cheek out as she crossed her arms. Eat your heart out, Cave's upper limbs. "Hmph! I don't think I want to tell you anymore..."

"N-No! P-Pretty please! I'm sorry about being a charming rogue with a sharp tongue! Please tell me the offer! Anything, I'll do anything!"

"... Weeeeeeeell..." Black Heart trailed, her sing-songy voice betraying her faux-cold exterior. She was trying to enjoy being in control like this... but all the years spent with Lady Purple Heart had completely wore her tsundere silver lining, it seemed. Their relationship and subsequent marriage had truly changed her. Those things change everyone, huh? Change everything. "... fine! But I'm only going to say this once, so you better listen real good, got it?! I won't say it again, e-even if you beg me!" Desperation comes in many shapes and forms.

By now, the scantily-clad Oracle had fallen to her knees in quite the dramatic showing. Cave wanted to speak up, but the scene before her was ultimately too amusing for her to even think about interrupting. "Oh, thank you, thank you! Spill the beans, sister! What's the offer I can't refuse?"

Noire's eyes narrowed like a camper getting ready to tell the most frightening tale around a lit campfire. As opposed to all those unlit ones. "I may consider dropping the 108 hours of community service... if you spend the night in my Basilicom."

"... Eh?" responded both Leanbox natives in perfect harmony. A side effect of dating. The proposition sure didn't... well, make any sense at all. To be forgiven for invading the holy house, Chika had to... stay in it overnight? Sounds like a wacky plot fit for a sitcom, or ripe for some meta joke at least.

The waning tsundere didn't flinch, not missing a beat at their understandable confusion. "Yep, that's right: if you promise to guard my house all night long... well, until we return tomorrow morning from our extended outing at least, I'll consider your debt paid in full." That's... it?! HA!, thought Chika, this would be a cinc— "BUT, there's a pretty big catch: I'm not telling you to guard my house for zero reason. Not at all..." Oh dear, the atmosphere around the CPU was darkening faster than the inevitable night sky! "I assume Kei... hasn't told you?"

Chika was too excited to respond, so her girlfriend picked up the slack. "Told us what? We only received Chika's crime report from he—"

"Makes sense... She wouldn't want to mention the psychopath who's been stalking around the yard the past few nights..." A moment, before the girl quickly added "AFTER 10 PM, of course! It's fortunate I found you when I did..."

"Ps-Ps-Ps-Ps-Psychopath?!" NOW the Oracle found her tongue! "H-Holy... W-What type of psychopath?!"

Cave herself kept quiet, tilting her head in curious fashion. This tale certainly seized her attention... and lord knows she'd been hoping for something like this.

Anyway, Lady Black Heart had the two twirled around her pinky finger; ah, she missed this feeling! "Every morning, for the past four nights..." Is that how you'd logically say that sentence? "... Kei and I have found a bust lying in the garden out back. Without. A. Head."

"A... bust? Like, decapitated boobs?!"

"... No." Noire lifted her right arm to catch a glimpse of her digital watch— a wedding gift— before deciding she needed to wrap this up ASAP! "Busts, as in, upper-body statues of ME! Our creep has been stalking my Basilicom and decapitating statues of ME! ME!"

Chika's face remained blank, like a child's. It was the natural progression for her after facing such a scolding today. "... And your boobs are fine?"

"FORGET MY BOO— E-Er, my bust! N-Ngh, my chest!" A rapid headshake, and the girl's face turned a shade of red it hadn't quite dived into for some time. "The point is, I want you to guard my Basilicom and keep a look out for that creep. The only bust I have left is in my personal library— which you absolutely CAN NOT enter, by the way— so make sure he doesn't sneak in, okay? Succeed, and your 108 hours will be fulfilled in just one day."

The deal sounded... erm, sound? But, dealing with a psychopath... and a DECAPITATOR (as Chika was inclined to call him) at that?! Anyone would be excused for deeming that a deal-breaker. As such, the goofball of a professional opened her mouth to voice her trepidation. "A... creep who decapitates statues... I dunno, this sounds kinda hair—"

"Gotta go, good luck!" the CPU of Lastation proclaimed, effectively cutting the intruder off. Then, with one formidable flick of her long black hair, she "Hmph'ed!" to no one in particular and began to slowly venture to parts unknown... though any savvy onlooker could assume she was headed to Planeptune. You know, to be with her wife. Slow step... Slow step...

Chika got the message, or lack thereof, and immediately went to stroking her chin in deep thought. "A psychopath, huh? Well, at least Verty won't be in danger... Ah, what am I saying?! I could roundhouse this creep with my baby toe, no sweat!"

Cave, meanwhile, shrugged to herself as she hoisted up an oversized gym bag that had been by her side. Her actual uniform was inside (well, a secret spare, in any case), along with her trademark scissors and a few random assorted daily items, like a tooth brush, a comb, and even spare underwear. Hmm... how peculiar, the gym bag seemed to be serving as an... overnight trunk moreso than a simple carrying case for a daily excursion to a Lastation fronton and a... golf course somewhere. There's no way she foresaw this event coming... so why was she so prepared to stay for a night or five away from her home nation of Leanbox?

Oh yeah, remember how Noire 'began to *slowly* venture'? As the SMD warrior contemplated her unzipped sack (let's blame Chika for that phrasing), the tsundere goddess finally passed by... but not before leaning her lips close to Cave's ear and reaching her hand into her private opening. Not... like what you might be thinking (or hoping?). "Read this... I trust you much more than her." And that was that; Noire didn't take a single look back as she left the Basilicom in Chika's— but secretly Cave's— capable hands.

"... Odd... Hmm? What's..." The green-eyed soldier noticed a small slip of paper sticking out of her luggage. "... this? Might as well." First checking to make sure her lover was still preoccupied with thoughts about the ax-crazy nutcase, the golf-'UN-enthusiast' opened the note... and sighed. "... That figures. Oh well, I had better stick with Chika tonight, anyway. Shame this has to count as our first date of the week, though."

"You say something, babe?" Chika called, noticing her girlfriend's perplexed expression. "You're not worried about Mr. Decapitated Coffee, are ya? I couldn't live with myself if you got put into danger because of me, so I won't complain if you tuck tail and run while you still can!"

... Heh, the mint-haired Oracle had a way of cheering the warrior up like no one else before. "I'm with you to the end, psycho or no psycho."

Her lover responded with a bright grin; how does her face always manage to not be sucked in? "Sweetles! Here, I'll head in and turn on the TV, maybe heat up some popcorn! I'm under house arrest, and it's day five of Halloween .7... so you know what that means: horror movie marathons up the 'MegaTagmension'!" Again like a child, rivaling dearest Ram of Lowee, the grown adult bustled right into the building she had mysteriously tried to break into over 12 hours ago.

"Okay, I'll be right there, Chika!" Cave called back...

... before reaching into her shirt pocket to pull out a cellphone. "... Which reminds me, I better check in with work... just to make sure." Ah, always the hard-worker, she is; given a whole free day— okay, EVENING— to spend with her lover, and she's STILL thinking about doing her job of... er, whatever it is she exactly does! That's what we call stubborn dedication! Or trying to work so hard, you don't have to think about your problems...

The stylish soldier dialed up a number that was eternally planted amidst her list of 'Fab 5' contacts (she hadn't quite evolved past the flip phone era of phone coverage yet), and the cellular device dialed once... twice... three times the dial ton—

"Hello?"

Ah, the familiar bored female voice! Secretaries must never sleep. "SMD headquarters, this is Cave. Reporting in."

The unseen woman audibly sighed before anything else. Never a good sign, but the soldier attempted to ignore the blatant act as best she could. Luckily, she didn't need to wait long for the secretary to finally speak up. "Ah, hello Cave... What, this the fourth time you called today?"

"I-Is it? I-I hadn't noticed." Yeah, if you believe that, the Leanbox Basilicom has a bank account you can send free money to. Er, for charity.

Miss Mystery waved off the employee's stammering ways. "Anyhow, how come we only hear from you these days? You never visit our bases anymore... Hell, I heard you barely even sleep in the Basilicom either. Is something the matter?"

Cave bit her bottom lip; not intentionally, of course, and she probably didn't even realize her teeth were sinking into her own flesh... but the detail remained true for all to see. Oh, but 'all' really means 'none'. "... I'm fine, I apologize. I just find it more efficient to receive missions on the go. To be more expedient with carrying out my duties. I save time in not having to leave headquarters or... home, that's all. I can stay... fresh, mobile."

"Oh... Um, well, okay! I guess it's for the best anyways."

"... No new missions?"

"The same story we've had for the last hundred times you've cal— er, the last few months. Boring days... The SMD isn't needed right now."

Those cursed words return: 'The SMD isn't needed'... "That seems to be the case... b-but we shall never rest, for trouble can surface at any one second! The SMD will always be there, be it times of peril, or of absolute peace!" Wow, that... wasn't desperate at all. "... Not even paperwork to fill out? Nothing at all? Stock inventory? Check engine lights to turn off? Hell, satellite TV subscription bills to pay?"

Is that a chuckle on the other line? "Nopperino... Cave, you're free yet again. Go spend some time with your loved ones. I hear you and Lady Chika are getting quite... mmm, close? When can all of us here be expecting wedding invitations? Seems marriages are taking the place of crime these days!"

"W-Wedding?! A-Ah..." The stern soldier coughed once, an unwitting sign of things to come. "... I must be heading off, thank you for your time. Cave, over and out."

*Click!*

Cave flipped her phone shut... and allowed her shoulders to sink. No work again, no need for her services, no need for soldiers, so many people getting hitched...

"... Well, it's not like I could've gone on a mission anyhow; Chika's waiting for me." Yeah, absolutely nothing to fret about! More jobs would come in due time, she knew it! For now, she simply needed to relax and... enjoy the downtime. Go inside and actually act like a girlfriend, and not a workaholic. "... Better go make sure she hasn't started a fire in there. I fear for Lady Noire's bed..." Er, perhaps she also needed to reel back the 'disapproving dad' tendencies. Whichever came first.

With a hefty "Oomph!", the red-haired adult heaved her luggage up as high as she could— taking special care not to drop it— and journeyed onward up the path to the regal house's front entrance.

"Smile... an everlasting smile... A smile can bring you near... to me..."