It has to stop.
I can't keep living like this. Can't do it. Won't do it. But how do I make it stop? How would I ever be able to do it?
I'm weak.
He has told me this plenty of times before. I'm not good enough. Not strong enough. Not smart enough to defeat him. Nothing I ever do makes a damn difference. What can I do? Is there anything to do? Wait for him to leave? Who knew how long that would take? I can't do it. That's it. This is over. I'm done.
How many times have I told myself this? How many times did I wake up in the middle of nowhere and say the exact same thing? Hundreds.
He's here. In my mind. In my head. In my soul. He comes out, a creature of the night, takes the lives of countless people, leaving the blood on my hands. My hands. I looked down to my pale, small hands, incapable of hurting the smallest of beings. Yet when he takes over I slit the throat of someone that I don't even know their name. I don't know their life. Perhaps that man had a wife to get home to. Maybe that teenager had a little sister who saw him as her hero. Her protector. That man I robbed blind could have been working his whole life for that money.
I robbed. He may have been in control, but it was my body. By my hand people have suffered. Tears spilled over my eyelids and dripped down my face. Stop crying, I ordered myself, stop being weak. But no matter how hard I tried, they kept coming.
All those people…dead…mugged…and only God knows what else. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked, feeling lonelier than ever. I was truly alone. I had no one. No friends. I fought the urge to sneer. I used to think I had friends. Yugi, Joey, Tea, Tristian. It took him for me to realize they were never my friends. A friend would have noticed my absences. A friend would have known when he took over. They would have tried to protect me from him, not shun me like the plague.
More tears left my eyes.
No family. My mother and beloved little sister died in a car crash when I was younger. And my father? I glared at the floor as my hand involuntarily curled into a tight fist. Never around. I haven't seen him in over a year. I had no idea where he was. He left me with the bloody Millennium Ring and hasn't come back since. Sometimes I wondered if he was dead.
Sometimes I wish he was.
It was always horrifying to face the truth.
There was only one person I had.
His name was Bakura, and he was my worst nightmare.
What am I going to do?