A.N. Random Twilight spoof. First Fan Fic so enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters
S.L.U.T.
Alice: in my supremacy of the Cullen clan I have now decided that I am awesome and you shall join my club.
Bella:OMEC! Can I be deputy??
Alice: Yes you can but we shall need code names.
Bella: Ooh I will be LEMONADE!! Coz it's fruity!!
Alice: YES!! And I will UMBRELLA!! Let us go find Jazz-hands!!
Goes and looks for jasper
Alice: Jazzy!! You will join our club!! And your name shall be…Slurry!!
Jasper: why slurry? Can I be something that has less to do with a sexual female?
Bella: You are slurry. Accept it. It has been chosen.
Umbrella: yes now let us go find Rose!!
Find Rosalie trying to rap (she is going through a gangster faze…)
Rose: hey what's up homey G!!
Umbrella: erm…you are joining our club!! AND YOU WILL BE TOES!!
Rosalie: YO! Toes iz da shiz!
Alice: erm…ok good! Now the acronym (not sure) of our club is…S L U T!! SLUT!! Le gasp! I'm leaving and Carlisle can take my place
Carlisle: ummm ok?
Alice: muhahaha see ya later sluts!!
Alice runs off to decorate New Zealand in pink.
Bella: so what are we gonna do now?
Jasper: ooh! Ooh! I know!! The answer is 7!
Rosalie: yo whats up with that bro?
Emmet: that's it I'm bored! I quit!
Bella: where did you come from?
Emmet: do you really wanna know that?
Bella: YEAH!
Emmet: well one day a mummy and a daddy loved each other very much and they…
Bella: ok STOP! Tell me how you got here! Now!
Emmet: ohhh..right. I was hiding in the fridge.
Rosalie: Yeea that's where me a ma homey Emmet get it on…
To be continued…
Right Now!!
Jasper: well I'm bored. What are we gonna do? Ooh I know! Lets watch Bella get drunk!!
Rosalie: Yeah! And pregnant!
All: NO!
Rosalie: Damn…fine I'll go get the vodka yo.
-Awkward silence-
Rosalie returns in seconds with vodka and is now obsessed with pink.
Bella: YAY! I need to get my drink on!
Emmet: BUBBLES!!
Jasper: is there a mental institution for vampires around here?
Emmet: HOITOITOITOITOITOITOITOITOITOIT!!
Rosalie: like, wait, like a second and I'll, like, go and, like, get the, like, pink pages…totally
Edward: totally! So what are you guys doing?
Jasper: nothing!
Edward: fine don't tell me SLUTS!
Jasper: how did you know about that?
Edward: huh?
Bella: (who has now drunk half a bottle of vodka) I wanna…sex…Edward…babies…butterflies are coming to get me…
Jasper: Pay no attention to her! She had a seizure of mental retardation
Edward: BELLA! My love…what have they done?
Bella: BUTTERFLIES!!
Edward: NOOOOOO!
Edward picks up Bella and carries her to New Zealand where it is now completely pink
Jasper: awww now we have nothing to do
Rosalie: I'm, like, totally back and there's, like, totally a mental institution for vampires in New Zealand!
Emmet: (rolling around on the floor singing 'gimme more'- badly-)
Jasper: awesome! Were off to New Zealand!
They all run off to New Zealand singing 'were off to see the wizard'…
To be continued…
Tune in next time for more Twilight spoof!
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