Title: Crossroads
Author: Catriona McKenna Scully1013_1121@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 – for some swear words, although I would let my ten-year-old cousin read this.
Spoilers- none really. Takes place about a week after the ' Unnatural' but has no episode spoilers. Mainly deals with the aftermath of hurt feelings from OS.
Summary- Mulder makes a decision that will have consequences for everyone involved.
Archive- anywhere, just email me and tell me.
Disclaimer- if I owned them I wouldn't need this. I met a man on a plane a few years back, by the name of Chris. I told him of my idea for a t.v show involving two FBI agents……… No seriously, I don't own Diana, Mulder or Scully and never will. I don't particularly want to own Diana, but that's beside the point.
Category: angst/ MSR?
Thanks: to my brother Patrick for all his HELPFUL comments! I bet you are happy Sheffield Wednesday are safe!
Feedback: appreciated as well as constructive criticism, but no flames!
Notes: I can't believe I didn't put this in before – the title of this story was taken from one of my favourite scenes in the movie- where Mulder and Scully decide if the should go right or left- they go down the middle instead. For me this showed how far they had moved on- it was like they were being given another chance to put right previous mistakes. This more me symbolised them being able to have another go at the crossroad scene in Syzygy.
Fox Mulder's office
11:21am
" Fox?"
I raise my head and pray that, that voice doesn't belong to her. Shit!
" Diana, what are you doing here?" my voice is like sandpaper.
She glances at Scully with a look of disgust. But Scully to her credit doesn't say anything.
" Can, I speak to you a minute? In private?" She nods at Scully, making it clear she doesn't want her here. I glance at Scully and meet her eyes. They search mine for answers to why she is here. I look into here eyes to try and see what she is thinking. But like always she keeps her feelings locked away.
I turn to Diana and hope that she will go away. Things have only begun to get back to normal since she last showed up.
" Diana what do you want?" my voice is cautious.
" What do you mean, what do I want? Don't you trust me, Fox?"
I look at Scully. She averts her eyes. The tension in the room is unbearable. I know the next thing I say or do, could change my life forever. If I talk to Diana, Scully and me will be back to square one. If I don't talk to Diana, oh hell I don't know! Both their eyes are watching me. I take one more second to think over my decision and pray that it is the right one.
" What the hell are you playing at Diana?" I ask. My voice sounds weird.
" Fox.." she starts.
" My name is Mulder!" I answer, breaking her off in mid-sentence.
" I'm not up to anything Mulder," she says, her voice calm.
" What the hell is that supposed to mean," I ask, " you show up in my life six years after you leave it and expect to find nothing has changed!"
" Nothing has changed, Fox. You are still here working on the X Files, you're not married, or engaged and you're still the same man I left six years ago."
" I am not the same man, you walked out on years ago Diana. I've changed, maybe you haven't."
" Don't kid yourself Fox. You are still the same haunted man, whose life is his work."
I open my mouth to reply, when Scully asks, " What do you want Diana?" Her voice sounds nervous and unsure.
Diana picks up on the nervousness in her voice. She replies, " What has any of this got to do with you?"
I now know that the decision I am going to make, is the right one.
" It has got everything to do with her, Diana!"
To be continued………
Part two
For all the ratings, disclaimer's etc see part one.
" How?" she challenges me.
I get up off my seat and walk to stand beside Scully. She gets up and looks at me for an answer. I give her none. I just hope she trusts me. I squeeze her hand and turn to face Diana.
" Things change Diana, people move on."
" How have you moved on Fox?" she sneers. " Are you just going to let go of what we had, just like that?" Her voice is taunting.
" I have let go, Diana. I've got over it. Sure it was hard at first, but I got over it. Hell, you gave me enough time."
" So that's it? After all we shared, all we went through, all that we saw." She takes a step towards us.
" Diana, we didn't share anything. What we had was false. It took me a while to realise that. We never shared anything important. You bailed on me, at the first sign of trouble," my voice grows louder, picking up strength as I go along, " you jumped at the chance to leave me. You were the worst thing to ever happen to me. You leaving was a blessing in disguise, although it took me a while to realise. You would have let me follow any lead, you didn't care about the consequences."
" All I wanted was the truth, Fox," she says calmly, although shock is evident on her face.
" What truth is that Diana?" Scully asks.
" Must be hard working with HER Fox. Always having her debunk your work, writing little reports to your superiors and disproving everything you stand for."
" Like I said before Diana, I have done okay without you. And as for working with Scully, I couldn't have hoped for a better partner."
" Better than I was?" she questions.
Both their eyes swing round to me. I take a deep breath and prepare to make the decision that is going to change all of our lives forever.
To be continued…….
Part three
For all ratings, disclaimer's etc see part one (also see part one for additional author's note)
I take a deep breath, and exhale slowly. I can hear my own heart beating.
Jesus, I can't do this. I just bloody can't. Are they asking me to compare? How the hell am I going to do that? Or maybe it's just that I'm afraid of what I am going to say. Afraid of the truth.
" Well?" Diana's voice shatters my thoughts into a million pieces.
I turn to look at Scully and she gazes back at me, her eyes clear like a diamond. For one split second, I can see what she is thinking and then the invisible barrier she always wears to hide her feelings is put back in place. For that one fragment of a second, she laid her feelings bare for me, for that one second I could see her deepest fears. When I looked into her eyes just there I could see she was afraid, afraid that I would chose Diana, over her. I don't blame her. But what I also saw in her eyes was trust - a silent reminder to why we work so well together. That split second insight makes me grow stronger. I take one more look at Scully to remind me why I am going to do this, and turn to face Diana.
" Yeah, she is," I answer.
The room is as quiet as death. Somewhere on the next floor somebody drops something, I look up to the ceiling glad for the distraction. I eventually force myself to look at Diana, and immediately wish I hadn't. Her face is like a broken record and you can almost see where the cracks are. The room is still silent and I can feel my heart beat, faster and faster.
Diana's voice eventually cuts through the silence, " What about us Fox?" Her voice is unusually quiet.
" What do you mean 'us'? There is no 'us'. There once was, but that was a long time ago, and like I said I've moved on."
" How? How have you moved on? Are you talking about your relationship with Agent Scully?" Her voice has regained its usual tone and she seems to have all her emotions under control. I haven't.
I don't have time to answer her question, before Diana is able to read the answer of my face.
" You are talking about her! And may I ask what relationship that is? As far as I can see, there is none."
" What do you want Diana, to split us up?" I question. " You've already tried that, sure I almost fell for your trap, but I caught myself just in time. I don't see much point in you sticking around Diana, you aren't going to succeed in splitting us up."
" And why is that? What makes HER so different to all your other relationships? What's so special about her, that you didn't feel about me?" Her voice is patronising and she takes another step towards us. I look at Scully and gently squeeze her shoulder. She tries to read what I am going to do next. Taking what could be my final breath I say,
" Because I love her."
To be continued….
Part four
See part one for ratings, disclaimer's etc
With an almighty roar the invisible walls Scully and I have spent the last six years, building come flying done. Six years of work destroyed, gone. All it took was two seconds, two little seconds and three little words. There had been times when we had come close to tipping them over, but we had always rebuilt them. This time is different, the walls have fallen, the bricks shattered into a tiny pieces of dirt.
No one speaks. The room is as silent as death. A breeze comes in through the open window and a bird starts singing.
I look at the floor almost expecting to see the remains of the bricks lying there. The walls have been gradually falling down, getting faster over the last few weeks. But I don't think I ever expected them to fall down so quickly. But then what did I expect to happen? Did I honestly think we could go on kidding ourselves forever? I guess I never thought of it before, and if I did I pushed it to the back of my mind.
I feel vulnerable; the walls that have provided me with protection for six years are gone. I feel naked. Without those walls anything that is said will have to be taken seriously, no more joking about the truth. I have never felt so scared in all my life, so easily manipulated. I can't get myself out of this one.
" You love her?"
Her voice is coarse with disbelief. I think she always knew that I had feelings for Scully, but I bet she never thought I would act on them. Then again, neither did I. I guess she thought she knew me so well. I guess she thought that if she offered me the truth I would jump at the truth, as she thought I had nothing to tie me back. I almost did go with her, almost. I pulled myself back in time. I realised things had changed. I couldn't just leave, not without Scully.
I then realise Scully has been quiet throughout. The old me would have probably been willing to just keep silent, but I owe Scully more than that. I at least owe her an explanation.
" Yeah, I do," I say, surprised at the confidence in my voice. I turn to Scully and look her in the eyes she looks amazed. I then realise she feels scared too, the walls did not only protect me they protected her. She has let her guard slip I look into her eyes and see that, that barrier too is down.
" Scully if I said that I didn't mean that I would be a liar."
Her eyes lock onto mine, and search them for the slightest sign of a joke. She looks afraid when she finds none. She looks at Diana and then to me. I finally turn to look at Diana. Her face is inscrutable.
" Just go," I tell her. My voice wavers.
Her eyes glint and I realise she thinks she has won. She thinks we will split after this as we won't know what to do. I become aware of the fact that Scully has turned to study her and then me.
My face bears all my emotions, confusion, fear and annoyance. Scully takes a step towards me and we both turn at the same time and to face each other, ignoring Diana. My hand rests on her shoulder and we take a step away from Diana.
" Did you mean that?" she questions, her voice quiet.
" Yes,"
I suddenly realise how absurd this situation is and I look at her and she realises to. I see a smile form on her lips and I just know things will be okay. Holding back laughter I turn to face Diana, " Just go."
" This isn't the end Fox, not by a long shot," she says through clenched teeth. I don't know if she is referring to ' us' or to the 'truth', but I couldn't care less.
Diana turns and walks out. As she leaves the gentle breeze starts up again, blowing away the last of the wall.
I turn to look at Scully, her eyes were watching Diana go, but they slowly move away from the door to look at me.
" She's gone," she says.
" Yeah, she's gone, I can finally put her behind me," I mumble.
She looks at me, but before she can say it, I answer her question, " I did mean it."
She steps forward and I pull her into my arms, " I love you too," she says quietly. We just stand there content, looking forward to a new beginning. The bird outside starts to sing and somehow I know things are going to be all right.
The End.