Everything I have ever had, everything that I have ever loved, everything that ever meant anything to me, I have lost. My memories were forgotten, my brother murdered, my mother stolen away by the one I used to be. One day he will return and I will disappear, just as he did two years ago. I live in fear of this, entrusting my memories to photographs so that when I am gone, some trace of me might remain. But recently, all of my pictures seem to be of one person.

Soubi

I remember so clearly - even without the photos - the first time I met Agatsuma Soubi. A warm fall day, the rustle and crunch of dying leaves beneath my feet and a stranger waiting for me outside my school.

Seimei's friend,

he said, making me tremble. He was so tall, with pale hair that shifted easily in the wind, bandages around his throat and eyes reaching to indigo in the afternoon light. He wore glasses with thin wire rims that looked far too delicate to be useful, just like the long fingers of his hands. He was so beautiful, so exotic - and he had come for me.

I couldn't imagine that he really wanted to see me, but

Make memories with me?

he came with me when I asked, and he smiled when he said yes. He was a stranger to me, but he was a connection to my past…to my brother. We made memories in the park, and I remember thinking that Soubi in autumn leaves couldn't possibly be as beautiful as I thought at the time. He couldn't be, but he was. Photographic memories don't lie.

So much happened so quickly after that. When I think back, I can still feel the soft warmth of Soubi's lips on mine, and the way my body wanted to melt into his kiss.

Do you mean you'll make me lose my ears?

Not until you're a little older

Then Breathless and a battle, Ai's voice crying out so angrily for reasons I didn't understand at the time. Soubi, so sure and strong beside me, casting spells in a voice that was so much more true an enchantment than his words. Under the bandages, Seimei's true name

Beloved

carved cruelly into the flesh of Soubi's throat.

After that, he seemed always to be around. He told me that he loved me, and it hurt. He did not tell me who murdered Seimei, and that hurt almost as much. I wanted to hate him, this odd man who smelled of smoke and hated the butterflies that he painted in the Japanese style.

Sacrifice

I detested the sound of it, what it meant to be one, what it meant to make one. Had I not given up enough already? He was my fighter, my possession, he said. Seimei had been his master, but I did not want to take that place. I wanted someone to love me because they loved me, not because they were ordered to. What good is a protector who will not defy destiny for the one he protects?

I wanted him to go away, but not too far. I wanted him to leave me alone, but not for too long. When I made requests, Soubi requested demands. He could ask for a kiss and offer to kill in the same breath. I pierced his ears when he asked

Make me yours

to form a bond between us. He seemed to operate on some kind of enigmatic intimacy that I couldn't understand. I found it both distasteful and intriguing.

I love you, Ritsuka

Soubi made promises that he didn't keep, concealed the truth and occasionally outright lied to me, but he was always on my mind. I saw me in him, in his solitude and his pain. I wanted by turns to leave him forever and to share his skin. I discovered that though I could not trust his words, his devotion to me was absolute.

Now I lean on him, and I am his strength. In a world of named fates, we are a mismatched pair that were never destined for each other…except by choice. Though I have never taken him in the way he desires, I have been completely seduced by Soubi. I no longer care that I didn't see it happening.

We know the meaning of the spell, "Love".