The New Threat Emerges-An FF7 fan fic-written by Gabe Ricard
The Nintendo strikes back saga begins here!
Come on…you didn't think it was called FREE HOT XXX PORN CLICK HERE! Did you? Anyway here's the beginning of the first saga in the ff7 series. Starting at this point the fics will also be a tad smaller for reasons for too great for you simple humans to understand bwahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!
Also sorry this fic took so long to come up (A month) but with Final Fantasy IX and Lunar:EB to play it came down to two choices
- Write for the masses(all 4 of them)
- Play these games and forget how much I hate my life.
You people never stood a chance. Enjoy.
"Ahhhhhhhhh! Sea urchin! Sea urchin! There's a huge ass sea urchin on my-oh…never mind!" Cloud realizing it was only his hair slowly returned to his pillow. Aeris giggled and cuddled up to him going back to sleep.
"Now I remember why I don't come here very often," thought Stone Cold Steve Austin stopping at their door then continuing his way to the kitchen where everyone else was eating breakfast.
"Good morning Mr. Austin," smiled Shera.
"Morning," he replied sitting down next to Cait Sith.
"How much longer is you're free loading ass going to be here?" asked Cait Sith looking up from his eggs.
"Until I'm finished fixing your red-neck tea drinking friends brain!" snapped Stone Cold in reply. He sighed, "There's still a few…bugs to work out is all."
"Bugs?" asked Barret. At that moment the sound of a door flying open and crashing against the wall could be heard and a few moments later, Cid appeared in the kitchen doorway his eyes frantic and the left side of his face was twitching constantly.
"WAZZZZZZZZUPPPPPPP!!!"
"Uh-oh," mumbled Cait Sith.
"Morning Cid," smiled Shera trying to change the mood.
"Mornin ma!" grinned Cid slapping her back with good intentions but still hard enough to cause Shera to fall over in a heap.
"I think I liked Cid more when he was Christ," remarked Barret.
"WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL," began Cid in a much louder tone, "I'M OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZZZZZ"
"Aren't you going to stop him?" asked Shera slowly pulling herself up.
"When I'm finished these eggs," replied Steve Austin. "They're the best damn eggs I've ever eaten."
"What's that Miss Aguilera?" asked Cid turning to Austin his tone also resuming a much more bearable degree. "There's a no clothes law here at Disney-Land? Well okayyyyyy I ain't no spring chicken but-" Cid's words where cut off as Steve Austin leapt up and drove a powerful sedative into Cid's neck putting him to sleep almost instantly.
"Well I guess there are some things more important than kick ass eggs."
"WAY more important," agreed Barret. "Well, I gotta go find Marlene and take her to that kids show thing in Wutai. Be back in a few hours and I'm takin da buggy." Barret shoved the last of his bacon into his mouth and stood up, turning and walking out of the kitchen.
"I gotta work on Cid some more," sighed Steve getting out of his chair and dragging Cid away with Shera in tow who had promised to help.
"What times Cloud gonna wake up?" asked Cait to Shera before she left.
Shera thought for a moment then shrugged her shoulders, "I dunno…it's his day off so he'll probably sleep in."
Cait sulked, "I've got no one to play DOA2 against."
Shera laughed and reached out and stroked his cheek mockingly, "Aw, poor Caity."
"Go away," snapped Cait Sith hopping away. Shera watched him storm off then laughed again and walked out of the kitchen to the lab where Stone Cold Steve Austin was working on Cid.
Gabe slowly sat up and yawned looking around his room then, looking at his clock and seeing to his surprise he had slept in a couple hours later than usual.
Must be this bed
, he thought getting out and putting on some clothes. It's really, really comfortable. He cracked his neck back and forth a couple times then walked out of his room and into the small hallway. Feeling refreshed from a great nights sleep Gabe walk briskly down the hallway and soon came onto the bridge of the ship which was almost identical to The Highwind. Gabe looked around, Tifa was standing in the corner looking out the window, Bruce Willis was cleaning his gun, Vincent and Yuffie where not surprisingly furiously making out and Red XIII lay in the corner resting."Good morning Gabe," smiled Tifa.
Gabe nodded, "Morning Tifa. Where are we?"
"No idea," she replied. "We got out of the area and now are in an area I'VE never seen before."
"Oh…" he turned to the pilot. "Do you have any clue where we are?"
The pilot who was flying the ship shook his head. "None what so ever. I put in on auto-pilot and left it that way before I went to sleep. This is what you wanted to do though right?"
"Yep…I do kinda wish we knew where we were tho but-" at that moment the room began flashing with red lights.
"What the fuck is that?" asked Bruce Willis looking up from the uzi.
"That's the red alert device Cid put into the ship," replied the pilot. "It MEANS something BAD is going to HAPPEN."
Bruce glared, "Shut-up smart-ass."
"Isn't that a Klingon battle ship?" asked Red XIII who had risen to his feet and was looking out the window.
Gabe walked over to the window and turned pale, "it IS! But what the hell is it doing here! This isn't outer fucking space!" A second later a laser blast fired out of the Klingon ship and nearly hit them. Gabe turned to the pilot frantically, "Didn't that moron Cid put any weapons on this damn thing!"
"Uh…nope!"
"Figures," remarked Vincent who had finally taken a break from his lip wars with Yuffie.
"So what do we do now?" asked Tifa. Her question was swiftly answered by Bruce Willis.
"Holy shit! Is that…the Enterprise?!"
"Really?" Gabe returned to the window and standing next to Bruce Willis peered out and indeed saw the Enterprise and drawing on his days as a Trekkie recognized it as the Enterprise that was used in the original TV series.
"Is this good or bad?" asked Tifa. Once again Tifa's question was answered without words as the Enterprise opened fire on the Klingon ship and destroyed it in moments.
"Well this is a hunch but I think it's good," replied Gabe watching the scattered pieces of the Klingon ship fall to earth.
"NOW what are we going to do?" questioned Bruce Willis.
"Well if the show and movies are any indication then we are most likely going to be-" Gabe's words where cut off as a green light surrounded everyone on the bridge and a moment later everyone was standing in what Gabe recognized as Sick Bay."Transported to Sick Bay." A moment later Dr. Mcoy, Mr. Spock, Nurse Chapel and Captain Kirk emerged to greet them. Immediately, Mcoy and Chapel began to examine them while Captain Kirk extended his right hand to the group. Bruce Willis ended up being the one to shake his hand.
"Hello," greeted Kirk. "I..am…Captain…KIRK…of the Star…ship..Enterprise ."
"I'm Bruce Willis this is Gabe, Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie and Red XIII."
"I…SEE…well…I…wel…come….you…to…my…SHIP."
"Why the hell do you talk like that?" asked Gabe who already felt annoyed.
"He is over dramatizing," explained Mr. Spock calmly.
Dr. Mcoy soon finished examining everyone and stood back satisfied with his results. "Well, everything seems to be in order here."
At the mention of that Nurse Chapel locked herself around Spock which didn't really surprise Gabe but what followed did.
"I found an empty closet I bet we could kill some real time in there huh?"
Spock raised an eyebrow and in perfect Vulcan tone replied, "I agree shall we?"
"Yes lets" Gabe watched in surprise as Spock scooped Chapel up and quickly walked out of Sick Bay. Gabe shook his head. Mcoy noticed this.
"Show the green blooded son of a bitch ONE porno movie and his human side takes over almost completely." Gabe gave no reply and only nodded.
"So what about our ship?" asked Bruce who was still speaking with Kirk.
"It…is being rePAIRED so…we…will…..be here…for..a..little while. Feel free to…explore the ship." At that remark everyone broke off and walked out of Sick Bay and headed down the hall to various sections of the ship.
Captain Kirk broke off his conversation with Bruce Willis and walked over to Tifa. "May…I…SEE YOU…in my quarters…if you please?"
Tifa shrugged, "Sure." Captain Kirk seemed to let a small giggle of joy but repressed it and walked out of Sick Bay with Tifa behind him. She turned to Gabe who was standing next to Mcoy. "I'll be back in a minute and we'll explore this ship together okay?"
"Sure…just be sure to watch Kirk…you never know when he may-"
"Tifa…are you…coming?" Tifa turned to face Captain Kirk before Gabe could finish his warning.
"I'm coming," with that she walked off before Gabe could finish.
Gabe shook his head and sighed, "She should be okay…yeah…I don't see why not." Gabe reassured himself again and walked out of Sick Bay.
"Where are you Vincent?" yelled Yuffie annoyed as she walked onto the bridge. She was feeling frustrated that she had looked away for only a minute and when she turned to talk to Vincent he was lost in the crowd in the hallway.
"Can I help you?" Yuffie looked to her left and saw Lt. Uhura.
"Yeah…have you seen a big evil looking guy with a metal arm?"
"Can't say that I have," replied Uhura.
Yuffie sighed disappointingly and looked around stopping on Mr. Sulu and Chekcov who where at the controls. "Wow!" she exclaimed running over to them and peering over Mr. Sulu's shoulder. "What's THIS button do?" before Mr. Sulu or Mr. Chekcov could say anything, Yuffie reached over and hit the button then looked up and watched as a photon torpedo slowly flew towards earth.
"Oh no! where did that thing go Sulu?" asked Chekcov.
Sulu looked down at the controls, "It hit a place called…Sussex County."
"Any survivors?"
"Umm…nope."
Yuffie shrugged, "Doesn't sound like a very important place to me."
"Call security," said Mr. Sulu turning to Uhura.
"Uh-oh…that's my cue to RUN!" Before the Security could show up Yuffie bolted out the door and ducked into the first room she came to.
"This guy's looking awfully nervous," thought Red XIII stopping at a man dressed in a red shirt with short brown hair. "What's wrong with you?"
"Ahhhh!!!" the man seemed to be pulled out of some kind of trance and his eyes began bolting in every direction before stopping at Red. "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?!!" the man cried.
"No."
"WITH EVERY EPISODE…ONE OF US MUST DIE!! AND THIS TIME IT'LL BE ME!!! AHHHH IT'S MY TURN DON'T YOU GET IT!!! I GOTTA HIDE…GOTTA HIDE….GOTTA HIDE…GOTTA…HIDE." Red watched as the man turned to run but tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground, cracking his head open and dying within seconds. Red looked back then looked ahead and walked over the dead body continuing down the hall to find a place that served food.
Vincent stepped into the engine room of the Enterprise and looked around in awe, as it was one of the largest most complex looking rooms he had ever seen. He saw a man hunched over something and walked over to see who it was. He reached over and tapped the man on the shoulder. The man turned around, stared at Vincent and scowled, "You can tell that bastard Kirk that I'm givin her all I got and if he doesn't like that-"
"What are you talking about?" asked Vincent annoyed.
"Oh…sorry I thought Captain Kirk sent you," I'm Scotty.
"I'm Vincent, this is really impressive."
"Thanks laddie…just dun touch anything."
"Don't worry…I'm not ignorant or clumsy like all my other team mates" Vincent walked past Scotty to explore the ship further and wasn't paying attention. As a result, Vincent tripped over a bar and drove his shoulder into a switch marked Self Destruct pushing it down.
"Oh no!" cried Scotty pulling out a communicator as a read light and siren like sound began blaring all around them. "Security! There's a guy down here trying to destroy me ship! Aye a hundred men should do this guy looks dangerous." Vincent sighed and ran out of the engine room to avoid the guards.
" I think this is Captain Kirk's room," thought Gabe once again drawing on his knowledge from his days as a trekkie and opening the door and stepping in.
"Get the fuck away from me…now!!" screamed Tifa ducking under an advancing Kirk but cornering herself in the process. "Why are you doing this?
"Because…I…haven't…had..a woman in…ten minutes," replied Kirk who was now mere inches away from grabbing Tifa.
"Then why are you armed?" she asked.
"I…seem…to improve…my…chances…with this,"
Gabe watched the scene before him and reacted instantly leaping over to Kirk and kicking him into the wall then pulling out a ninja sword and driving it into Kirk's chest pinning him against the wall. Gabe who was breathing heavily turned to face Tifa. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" she looked up and stared at Gabes face. A silence filled the room between them both before a siren like sound and flashing red lights appeared.
"Great," said Tifa looking away from Gabe. "God knows what Yuffie or the others did now." The two ran past Kirk's dead body and stopped in the hallway where they where met by Bruce Willis and the others who had all met up.
"We need to get off this ship now," said Bruce Willis. "Before-" his sentence was abruptly ended as a laser blast shot an inch past his head. Everyone looked to their left and saw what had to about five hundred security guards charging through the hall after them.
"Wasn't my fault!" cried Yuffie ducking a laser blast as they ran into the transporter room.
"Sure it wasn't," replied Gabe punching in the code to send them back to their ship then jumping on the transporter with everyone else and disappearing just as the security guards burst into the room.
"Get us out of here you fucking moron!" snapped Bruce to the pilot as they ran onto the bridge of their ship.
"Sure…lucky too cause those repair guys just finished up and-"
"NOW god damn it!" cried everyone.
The pilot glared and turned to the steering wheel. "Okay, okay…damn" a moment later The 7th Heaven blasted away from The Enterprise which exploded in a tremendous ball of fire.
Elsewhere…
Dr. Wiley (authors note: I have no idea what so ever how to spell this guys name so feel free to correct me) stepped into the massive office and took a deep breath before walking to an equally massive desk and stopping. The man behind it was hidden in the shadows that darkened everything behind the desk.
"So what's the final report?" came a voice with a thick Italian accent.
"The army is ready…if we are going to attack, now is the time." Dr. Wiley sighed. "Are you sure you want to do this? With the Game Cube on its way we should have no difficulty at all in retaking our spot in the Video Game world.
"No!" replied the voice sharply emerging from the shadows to reveal Mario. "If we do not wipe out Sony now…we will only end up back where we started from."
"If you say so…in any event we'll leave when you're ready."
Mario was about to reply but was interrupted as a man ran into the room breathing heavily. Mario scowled at being interrupted. "This had better be good."
"Down at the security tower we picked up a ship on the radar. It's a ship that's almost identical to the one from Final Fantasy 7!
A hideous smile broke out on Mario's face. "Well…that's different…shoot it down, send some of our best men and take them out then, bring them here."
"Yes sir!" with that, the man ran out just as quickly as he had came.
"Well, this is a good bit of fortune…considering Final Fantasy 7 was our first target. Not counting our attack on..on..who where they again?"
"The cast of Xenogears," replied Mario. "This IS a good bit of good luck. Go and tell them to delay our departure by a couple days."
"Of course sir," Dr.Wiley walked out of the room briskly leaving Mario to himself. Mario leaned back in his chair and spun around facing the window that over saw the entire part of the world that was controlled by Nintendo. It wasn't as much as it had been in the 80's and early 90's but, it was impressive none the less. It wasn't enough for Mario though. He knew that it had taken them over five years to get to a point where they would be able to launch an all out attack. He planned to take out Sony a piece at a time and had decided quite some time ago that he would start with the game that had played a large part in Nintendo's fall from grace, Final Fantasy 7. To this day Mario had secretly regretted his poor treatment to Square Soft but it didn't matter at this point anymore. Nothing did really accept the matters at hand. Mario threw back his head and let out a long, wicked laugh that rang through the large office. Soon…very soon Nintendo would return to the days of its former glory. The only difference this time would be that they would stay their forever.
End.
Well what did ya think? This is the beginning of the Nintendo Strikes Back saga which will run through the next tweleve or so FF7 fics and when it's done will have changed a great number of things in the FF7 world. Thanks for reading and while you're here go check out my new Twilight Zone fan fic The Warmth Machine. Thanks for reading and as always I welcome any comments and suggestions to improve my writing.