Smiling(matt)

This is Matt's POV of my poem 'Smiling'. I totally forgot to post it....well, you can read it now.
And review :) Kaeera
Warning: This is sad!






Smiling



Somehow I always thought

that I would live forever.

It seemed as if my death

would be in the far future


So many things which I wanted to do

So many years full of surprises

With 15 the real life begins

but for me it is over.

Suddenly they told me

about my illness

which wouldn't give me much time

Which would kill me.

I was shocked.

only two weeks.

Two more weeks

and then I'll die.

I will never be able to celebrate my 16th Birthday

Or next Christmas.

I will be dead.

Dead.

I could laugh

if it wouldn't be so sad

You notice how wonderful the life is

When you loose it.

You realise such banal things

like Grass or a bird who's singing

much more intensive

and learn to love them.

Only some more days

And I have to go.

Too early.

But it doesn't help to get frustrated.

I have spent the last days

With the people I love

It was wonderful

And it was so sad that I wanted to cry.

But I couldn't cry.

Not in front of TK.

something is preventing me

I just can't show my feelings.

Now I'm here

and smile

While the tears are streaming down my cheeks.

I remember all the dreams

I used to have

and which will never come true.

I'm so sad

Because my parents will cry for me

I feel so bad when I think of that.

They will cry

And I'm the reason.

I hate it when I make others worry.

Then I feel guilty.

I want that the people I love are happy.

But I can't change the destiny.

My time is over.

I have to go.

I don't want to leave you all

Just take my last words:

I love you, TK.

Please don't cry too much about me.

And Dad, you've been the best Dad ever!

Mum, don't cry.

Even we didn't met very often

You have been a wonderful mother.

Gabumon, thank you for being the best friend

I've had in my whole life

And thanks to all my other friends

Who stayed with me all the time

I've been here.

I love you all.

And I will miss you.

But when you remember me

You shall see me smiling.



End