Alone.
That could be a word to describe how I have felt for the past 7 months. You could also say sad, hurt, depressed. Well, depressed is a strong word, but is there any other to describe how I feel?
I sit here in the Hogs Head with a glass of Fire Whiskey- or I think that's what it is. I told the old hag that's what I wanted, but I guess it will do. Its taste is appalling, but it's soothing. Especially after what happened 7 months, anything is a relief to have.
Annie, you had your dream on the bright lights
I thought I saw your photograph having such a laugh; in a magazine.
Did it all come tumbling?
My name is Annie Washturn. I'm 25 years old and all I wanted to do in my life was sing to make a living. After I graduated from Hogwarts, I perused my life-long dream┘and it almost came true.
Almost.
Just like I almost made the front of the Daily Prophet. Just like I almost got a record deal. Just like I almost became a star. But once my hit became old and everyone moved on, I was forgotten in the Wizarding industry. I never even hear it on the radio anymore. I had signed so many autographs, I had done so many interviews, even Witch Weekly said that I would be the next big thing, but that never happened. I was lost and forgotten like the many 'One-Hit Wonders' were.
Maybe it's because I'm Muggle-Born. Maybe it's because I wasn't 'Gorgeous.' There are endless possibilities of why dreams of hitting the big time are gone. I guess I should move on, but it's really hard when you've spent your whole life writing songs and singing your heart out for anyone who would take the time to listen.
I brush away a strand of my long blonde hair. My green eyes are baggy from not sleeping well. I toss and turn every night and usually fall asleep around 2 a.m. Then having to get up for work at a small candle shop off of Diagon Alley; it's horrible. Especially when you hate your life like I do know it makes it worse. My mum tells me to get a grip and to move on, but she doesn't feel the pain I feel.
''Over a stupid singing career,'' She tells me.
Annie, you were made for the big time
They said you were a star to be In the NME
But the walls came tumbling down down, will you go down on me?
I look over at the couple who look no older than 20. They are smiling and laughing as the brunette man wraps his arm around the small red-headed girl. They were so happy and so free. They don't have the lingering disappointment of their life. I smile at them and they look at me in bewilderment. Do they recognize me? Do they know my face from the magazines? The red-head cocks her head and stands up. She walks over to me with a vacant expression.
''You're Annie. Annie Washturn?''
''Yes,'' I answer with my head down, my finger tracing the outline of my glass of Fire Whiskey.
Her eyes lit up for a moment and then went back to the impassiveness that she had.
''I know you. You had that song that was popular a while back. I liked it,'' She said and then walked back to her booth.
I made out a small smile and looked back down at the table. 'A while back,' she had said. That gave me a feeling of happiness and let-down as well. She has liked it, but what about now?
Annie you're a star That's just not going very far
And all the world will know your name
And you'll be famous as you are
'Cause I'll sing for you
Annie, would it be nice to be recognized?
Did you practice your autograph?
But now no one's asked and it's such a shame
that the dreams are crumbling
I push my glass away from me, unable to sit here any longer. I grab my shabby red coat and start to walk out the door and onto the streets. I pass by so many different stores lit up by the beautiful Christmas lights. I remember how only 7 months ago that Harry Potter guy defeated You-Know-Who. I was going to have the cover of the Daily Prophet that week, but he snatched it from me. Yes, I am glad he destroyed such a horrid man, but why did it have to happen that week?
Gosh, I'm selfish. All I have been thinking about is me. Its kind-of hard not to when your alone. Even when Drew, my ex-boyfriend, broke up with me after my fame was gone, it made it worse. I think that made it worse. I loved him so much and he didn't care. He just liked me for the attention.
Annie, we'd have you bathed in the Limelight.
Cause I thought you'd say that you'd be A celebrity several years ago
Did it all come tumbling down, down Will you go down on me?
I turn the corner of a long street to find a big poster of myself looking so happy, free, like I had no troubles.
The sign said ''Annie Washturn!with her new hit!'' and there was a big photo of me smiling and striking different poses as a camera bulb flashes. But the name of the song had been scratched off by some hoodlums. To bad it was on a deserted street where no one could see it. I remember that ''Photo Shoot'' as my mum called it; they had made me beautiful look absaloutely stunning, and I was having the time of my life! I couldn't believe it was all happening. I even remember when my Producer told me that I'd be, ''A Celebrity in no less than 3 months.'' Well, that never happened. After the song went away, they dropped me and found someone new to bathe in the limelight.
I told my mum when I was 15 that I was going to be a singer. She didn't believe me, but when I told her that I wanted to make Wizard music, she really didn't care. She said she didn't want me to get hurt but that whatever makes me happy is ok. I took that answer as a yes. That I could be a star if I put my mind to it. Of course now she really hates the idea. Since I've changed, she really can't stand to be around me.
Annie you're a star That's just not going very far
And all the world will know your name And you'll be famous as you are
'Cause I'll sing for you
I make my way up to my small, shabby house and open my front door. I had to move into a smaller house since I couldn't afford to pay for my huge home down in the mountains. I sat my coat and wand on the kitchen table and pour a glass of water. I notice that a letter had been sent to me while I was at the Hogs Head. It was sitting next to the sink and shone in the moonlight. I pick it up and recognize the handwriting immediately- my old producer.
I rip open the envelope and pull out the letter and start reading it.
Dear Annie,
This is Mark, your old producer. I just wanted to let you know what has been happening for the past few months and why we have been avoiding you. I do hope you are not offended.
I have been trying to write new songs for you and have tried to create something to keep your fame going on. Sadly, I have failed in my attempt. You are a star that just might be going very far Ms. Washturn, and I hate to tell you that. I really thought I saw something different in you. I know how badly you wanted this and how you would do anything to make it big- but it's just not the right time. You're 25 years old; you are still so young to let this get you down! Annie, I hope you will please try and move on and try something else. All I want from you is to be happy with what you do. If you feel that you are still meant to be a singer in a few years, I urge you to contact me again. I believe in you Annie, but this just wasn't the right time. I am so sorry and know that you must be heart-broken but I think it is best that I let you go.
Regards,
Mark Brine
I rip up the letter in my shaking hands. My bright green eyes are glistening with tears. So I wasn't in my head- the industry didn't want me. He would give me a second chance- but I would never take it. Why would I if I was going to be hurt just like I had been? Why would I after I had put so much effort into it for nothing?
It was useless; the best thing to do is to get on with my life. I can't stand to say that, but it is. It's hurts me more to know that it really is over and that I will never hit the big time again. He gave me second chance, but I'm don't want to do it all again. Out of fear, out of disappointment, and out of love. I just want to be happy, and I will have to learn how to be happy when I'm not living my dream. Life goes on, but I will never be the same.
Annie you're a star That's just not going very far
And all the world will know your name And you'll be famous as you are
'Cause I'll sing for you