I had read all of the self-insert stories, I made sure to memorize as much as I could on what would be useful and what wouldn't be. I made plans for if I found myself in an anime, manga, book, game or tv show. If I wound up in One Piece I would obviously join the Strawhats and learn some Haki along the way. If I wound up in Final Fantasy I would stay out of the way and let the heroes save the world, which ever world it was at the time. If I wound up in Marvel then I would hunt down Deadpool and tell him that he is right, his life is just a comic book but he is still the best character ever. If I wound up in Naruto then I would try and become the coolest person ever, mirroring myself after Zabuza, Demon of the Hidden Mist.
Well good news is I wound up in Naruto and I had a plan.
Bad news is that my plan did not account for being a part of the laziest clan in existence and also being turned into a girl.
My name is Nara Miyako and this is how I set on my path to be the coolest ninja since Zabuza.
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Now if you are like me then you have read all of the fanfiction with self-inserts and you would have noticed a pattern. Those who actually try and become something in the Naruto world (besides a harem master) usually train themselves in an art that requires intelligence, creativity and lots of discipline. They focus on Genjutsu, Fuinjutsu, Iryojutsu or like in one of my stories pure chakra manipulation,, However there are several problems with these arts that none of the stories ever seem to realise. Iryojutsu and Fuinjutsu require appropriate teachers as you can't practice how to heal someone without someone to heal and Fuinjutsu can literally blow you up with the tiniest, infinitesimal mistake. Genjustu requires someone capable to practice on as how can you know if your genjutsu is working without someone letting you know that it's working an as for chakra manipulation, well when a spinning ball is the height of it then it is safe to assume that chakra manipulation without hand-seals is very, very, very hard.
There are several other facts that affected my desire on how to become something in Naruto. First of all while I was a Nara I was only average in intelligence for a Nara (only one hundred and thirty two IQ), I also had a smaller than average chakra pool because of my heritage. My knowledge of the Naruto world, bar future events and a few small facts, was severely lacking so I learnt at the same rate as pretty much everyone else, except in maths. I really did not have much going for me except for a few facts.
I was a Nara a member of the clan that could manipulate shadows, and Shadowmancy or Nethermancy or the like was something that heavily interested me in my past life, along with lots of books, anime, mange, games and movies. Most of the things I knew probably would not work but I would be damned if I didn't find some way to utilize all of the information I had acquired in my past life.
The other important fact was that while I was in the body of a five year old female Nara I was actually a twenty one (twenty six?) year old male who knew everything important that was going to happen. Where as the other kids my age were running around and playing I was preparing myself for the trials ahead, I may not have had plot armour on my side but I would buckle down and work as hard as I could to make sure that no matter what happened I would live a long and healthy life. It is because of this that I was currently doing what some would call a suicidal act.
"Excuse me?" I asked a kindly old lady walking down the street. "Do you know where I could go to fan the flames of my Youth?"
The kindly look instantly fell off of the old lady's face and she paled drastically before rushing off without a word. She was the seventh person to do that.
"Yo brat you looking to die?" a loud, crass and feminine voice asked.
Turning around I came face to chest with a beautiful sight, Anko's chest. She was only about eighteen but damn was it a nice chest and more Kunoichi should wear shirts made primarily from ninja wire.
"You know my eyes are up here," Anko said sounding slightly amused.
"It would be rude not to fully appreciate such a beautiful sight," I told her, not once moving my eyes from her chest.
"Aren't you a little young to be perving brat?" she asked while ruffling my hair.
"I can do more than just perv if you'd like," I offered, finally looking up at her face, and gave her a cheeky grin.
Anko gave me a smirk in reply, "sorry brat by despite popular belief I like my partners more experienced and with something between their legs."
"Damn. Thought I had a chance," I laughed. "So what did you mean do I want to die?" I asked, quickly switching topics.
"Well brat I'm not sure if you know it but saying that you want to fan the flames of your Youth is going to cause you to be forced into a training exercise so horrible that you would beg for death not even halfway through it," Anko remarked blithely.
I knew that Anko wasn't kidding, exaggerating maybe but she wasn't kidding and that is just what I wanted. "Well if you aren't strong enough to handle it then that is your problem, I on the other hand have no such problem," I told her, pasting a cocky smirk on my face.
Anko stared at me for a few seconds before suddenly bursting into loud laughter, she said something but her laughter caused her chest to jiggle. It was very distracting.
I'm not sure what happened next but I found myself in the middle of a Training Ground staring not at Anko's beautiful chest but at a very, very green man.
"Yosh Lovely Anko-chan told me that you were looking for me!" Maito Gai called out very, very loudly.
Wow I never realised how green Gai was and how tight his spandex outfit was, it made me feel a little inadequate which was a bit weird considering I was a girl now. "God I'm messed up," I muttered quietly to myself before giving Gai a small smile, "I was hoping that you would help me train," I informed the Green Beast of Konoha.
"A cute little girl like you should be playing with your friends not training," Gai told me seriously, kneeling down so that we were face to face. "Why do you wish to train?"
Luckily I had an answer prepared. "All the famous ninja from Konoha do you know their names?" I asked him before continuing on, not waiting for an answer. "Senju Hashirama, Senju Tobirama, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Namikaze Minato, Uzumaki Kushina, Hatake Sukumo, Hatake Kakashi and the Three Sennin. Only two of those is a female and for one her fame comes from being part of a famous team not for her own actions . I wish to become the strongest ninja there is and prove that females can be just as strong as any male," I told him. Strangely enough it wasn't an entire lie, bigotry had always annoyed me and it was something that I would like to do though it was not my main reason for wishing to get stronger. "Please help me Gai-sensei."
I had laid it on a bit thick, I know that, but it seemed that my words had deeply affected Gai as tears were running down his face and he looked seconds away from crying. "YOSH LET US TRAIN UNTIL YOU ARE THE STRONGEST THERE IS!" he cried out. "LET US START WITH TEN LAPS AROUND KONOHA!"
I sighed, it was going to be painful, oh so painful but it would be worth it in the end.
Every day while he was in the village I would meet up with Gai and train, train, train. When he wasn't in the village I would train by myself. After I slowly started to become used to Gai's masochistic training I moved on to the second step of my plan to get stronger. I had been in The Academy for a year at this point.
"Train me," I ordered my dad, Shikaku.
He looked over at me ad gave a lazy yawn, "troublesome girl, why don't you act like your brother," he muttered.
"Shika has no ambition I on the other hand have plenty and I need you to train me," I told him.
Dad looked at me for several minutes, eyeing me up and dissecting my very being with his eyes in that way only he and Shika could do. "What do you want training in?" he eventually asked.
"I want to learn everything about our shadow," was my answer.
Dad sighed, "troublesome girl…. The first thing you need to realise is that shadows are not two dimensional. They are in fact three dimensional but as they are primarily cast only on flat surfaces they appear two dimensional. If a shadow is cast on a light fog or mist then it will be seen in three dimensions. It is important to always remember this as it is part of the knowledge that allows our family to use our jutsu…..."
During the mornings I trained with Gai or by myself, during the day I went to The Academy and in the nights I learnt all about the Shadows of the Nara Clan. I made sure to take some time for myself each week, even if it was only an hour or so, and would read or write or just relax and allow myself to enjoy my time.
Eventually as a result of Gai's training and all of the lessons from dad, The Academy instructors picked up on the fact that I was improving at a rate far faster than all of the other kids in my class and I was allowed to skip forward two grades.
Graduation day came and I passed and was hailed as a prodigy from all of the instructors and classmates though Inuzuka Kanzaki was labelled as the Rookie of the Year, sexism at it's finest people.
Kanzaki was the rookie of the year, I was the Top Kunoichi and we were placed together with Nico Tetsuya as the dead-last. Our Jounin-sensei. Hatake Kakashi.
"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!" I cursed when that was called out. I ignored everyone's responses and reactions to my outbreak of cursing as I repeatedly cursed over and over and over again. "why kami why do you hate me so?" I eventually asked, eyes raised to the heavens.
Tetsuya fell into a seat next to me, "heh I know what you mean, don't want to be in the same group as that bastard either," he said with a cocky smirk. Why was it that all dead lasts were cocky ass holes? Well besides Lee.
I ignored him as I planned out what to do. If I failed the test then I would be forced back into The Academy and there is no doubt that I would beat Tenten for the title of Top Kunoichi next year which would mean that I would be placed on Team Gai while she is placed elsewhere and that would fuck up the entire world. If I passed the test then I would be placed on to a team with Kakashi and that would also fuck up the entire world as he may not be an available sensei when Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke graduate. Fuck it, I'll fail the test and I'll just have to make sure to get a lower ranking in the Academy next year.
"Team Seven. You're with me. Meet me up on the roof," Kakashi ordered. Had it been a few hours already?
I sighed wearily and got to my feet, "come on guys let's go and get this over with," I muttered dejectedly before walking out of the room.
"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine," Kanzaki said sarcastically.
I just flipped him off and walked through The Academy to the stairs.
Despite taking my time Kakashi was still late and we were forced to wait on him for another ten minutes.
"YOU'RE LATE!" my two soon to be ex-teammates shouted out. I just gave a half-hearted wave.
"Sorry there was a black cat in my path," Kakashi said.
"And how does that cause you to be late?" I asked while ignoring the cry of liar from the other two.
"Black cat's are unlucky so I had to go the long way around," Kakashi explained.
"So what you mean is that you were walking along, saw a black cat and decided to avoid it. Would you do that with a white cat?" I asked.
Kakashi stared at me blankly before replying with a, 'no.'
I gave a mental smirk, "so you're a racist. Just because it's black you try and avoid it. I don't think that I can work with a racist bastard like yourself. Good day bastard," I then turned and headed to the door only to be stopped by Kakashi's voice.
"Maa, maa. You really need to work better on your acting," he commented lazily. "Now sit down so that we can do our introductions."
"And if I don't?"
I found myself face first on the ground with Kakashi on my back.
"HEY GET OFF OF HER YOU BASTARD!" Tetsuya shouted, charging at Kakashi as he did so.
Kakashi just grabbed Tetsuya by the neck. "Now I am going to let both of you go and we are going to do introductions. Understand?" he asked with that fake happy yet absolutely terrifying voice of his.
"Would you mind? You're a little heavy," was my response.
"Good girl," Kakashi said patronizingly before getting up off of me and letting go of Tetsuya. "now we are going to do introductions. Smart Ass you're first, followed by Moron then Silent Mutt over there."
I glared weakly at him, so did the other two, before I started to do as told. "I'm Miyako, I like books and being a smart ass, I dislike the fates, bigotry and the fact that Silent Mutt is a cooler name than Smart Ass, my hobbies are reading and writing and I hope to one day become a ninja as powerful and as cool as Momochi Zabuza," I told all of them. "Oh right I also need to learn how to use a giant sword," I added.
Two sets of eyes and Kakashi's one eye stared at me for a few seconds. "Well that's an odd dream," Kakashi announced, "but I've heard weirder. Moron your turn."
Tetsuya glared at Kakashi, "my name is Nico Tetsuya not moron," he growled.
Kakashi just waved him off.
"I like history, dislike those who destroy important historical sights, my hobbies are to go hiking and my dream is to one day find the land hidden in the clouds," Tetsuya announced. Wow never knew he was a history nut.
Kanzaki started his introduction before being told to. "I'm Inuzuka Kanzaki, I like my clan and I dislike the fact that I still don't have a partner, I watch over my younger cousins and go hunting in my spare time, my dream is to one day make S-rank."
"Well you three are certainly different from most others," Kakashi said, "but here is the bad news. While you passed the Graduation Exam none of you are Genin yet. Not until you pass my own personal exam."
Kanzaki and Tetsuya let out identical cries of shock and outrage which were quickly shut down by Kakashi. He pulled out three pieces of paper and handed them to us, "the details of the exam are on these, make sure to show up on time. Oh and don't eat any breakfast or you'll just throw it up," he finished before disappearing in a Shunshin.
"Well I look forward to failing with you guys tomorrow," I told the other two before walking off home, ignoring their shouts.
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Last night had been a nice event with dad, mum and even Shika asking me about how team selection had gone, who I had gotten on my team and what I thought of them. When they heard that I had gotten Kakashi as my sensei, mom and dad both looked slightly disappointed, obviously realising that I probably wouldn't be graduating. Dad had even offered to buy me a sword, which I had been begging him to buy for me for ages, after the test was over.
Well that was last night and now was the test.
"You know you're supposed to do something," Kakashi commented with a sweat-drop.
"Yeah yeah I know, get the bells from you, graduate and leave one of the losers behind," I waved him off. I walked towards him, "can I have the bells?" I asked.
All I got was a blank look in reply.
"Damn," I pouted. "You are just too strong for me, there is nothing that I can do. I guess I'll have to fail this test. Oh bummer." I then proceeded to pull a book out of my pouch, sat down in the middle of the training ground and began to read it.
"and here your file said that you were a motivated ninja," Kakashi commented. "one would think that you would actually want to pass this test and go on to be a genin."
"I do want to become a genin," I told him seriously, not taking my eyes off of my book, "and while it would be great to learn from you I don't think this is the team that you are destined to teach."
"Oh and what team am I destined to teach?" Kakashi asked, actually sounding interested.
I had found out early on in my life that I couldn't actually tell people anything about the future, it was literally impossible no matter how hard I tried I just could not tell them anything that is why I responded like this, "Team Seven," I told him with a cheeky smirk.
He actually laughed at that, it was an interesting experience.
"DIE!" Tetsuya screamed, rushing straight at Kakashi.
I tuned them out and went back to reading my book.
An hour later the book was pulled from out of my hands, "the test is over," Kakashi informed me.
"So we failed?" I asked getting a nod in response. "Oh well it's for the best anyway. If those two couldn't even figure out that the test is specifically made to set us against each other and that the only way to pass is to work together then they probably don't deserve to be ninja anyway," I commented with a yawn.
"WHAT!?" Tetsuya screamed out in shock.
"You didn't tell them that did you?" I asked glancing at Kakashi.
"Nope."
I sighed and turned to Tetsuya who was tied to a stump, "the test was made to pit us against each other but Konoha is all about the teamwork. It would be a bad idea if ninja turned on their comrades over something as stupid as a promotion after all," I pointed out.
"Miyako is correct," Kakashi announced. "I am unclear on why she didn't try to pass the test but that is the general idea of the test." Since none of you three has shown the ability to work together you will be returned back to The Academy."
"That's not fair," Kanzaki growled, "she would have refused to work with us anyway. She wants to fail!"
"Life's not fair," was Kakashi's blithe response. He cut Tetsuya's binds, "Now go home."
I pulled myself to my feet and after snatching my book out of Kakashi's hands I started walking home. "Well I'll see you guys back at The Academy," I said casually.
"This is your fault!" Tetsuya snarled. I could hear his footsteps rushing towards me, he was either going to charge me or throw a punch.
Just when I head his footsteps grow close I ducked down low and twisted my body to face him. Tetsuya ran straight into my crouched form and went flying over me, crashing into the ground a few feet away. Moving forward I put my foot on Kanzaki back, holding him in place. "You failed because YOU are incapable of teamwork. I failed because I wanted to fail," I pointed out. "Also for the record YOU just got your ass kicked by a girl who is two years younger than YOU are."
With that done I gave Kanzaki a quick kick in the head, knocking him out, and continued walking back home.
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Mom gave me a hug when I got home and announced that the test had been a fail, dad had immediately taken me out to go and buy a sword. He didn't say much on the walk to and from the store just pointed out that I didn't seem upset about failing after all of my hard work. I didn't even bother to comment, dad could tell when I was lying and telling the truth would be too troublesome.
I ended up getting an awesome sword, it was large, sharp and beautiful. I had somehow gotten my hands on a freaking buster sword. Sure I preferred Lightning's gunblade over Cloud's buster sword but it was still freaking awesome and also very, very large. "Good thing I'm not a guy or people will think that I'm over compensating," I commented to my dad.
He just gave me a lazy smirk, "your mother is going to be troublesome if she hears you say that," he pointed out. "Why don't you take some time to practice and return home in an hour or so?"
I grinned, excited at the idea. "Thanks dad. I'll see you back at home," I shouted as I quickly ran off to the nearest training ground.
I started off by just holding my new sword, getting a feel for it's weight and slowly moving it around. I overbalanced myself and fell forward several times but I didn't care I had an awesome freaking sword and I was going to master it no matter what.
Without even thinking I moved my sword to the side, deflecting an incoming attack of shuriken. "Not too bad," a feminine voice mocked, a cold cruel laugh filling the air.
I snarled, putting my blade on the ground and surveying the area. "What do you want?" I asked coldly, looking for any sign of the attacker hidden in the trees.
"Your head," the woman laughed , her voice coming from behind me. I flashed through the Rat and Bird hand-seals and quickly dropped down. I heard a small gasp of surprise from my attacker as the Shadow Sewing Technique was sent flying from my back.
There was the familiar clang of someone blocking an attack with a metal weapon. Twisting around I came face to face with a purple haired, very attractive woman with a sword. Uzuki Yugao if my memory was correct. Why was she attacking me?
"Why do you want my head?" I asked her, taking several short steps away just in case.
A cruel smirk appeared on her lips, "defeat me and find out. Not that you would defeat me after all," she laughed before rushing forward, her sword raised.
She was fast, far faster than I was but not as fast as she should be. Her sword technique was wrong as well. This was a woman who joined ANBU at a very young age, she was trained by the greatest swordsman Konoha had to offer and yet she was only moving at high-Chuunin speeds and her attack was as obvious as could be.
I kawarimi'd with my sword to avoid her strike and carefully surveyed her, eyeing her up and thinking. Yugao was supposed to be that nice woman, kind, caring and almost motherly in the way she came across. She was not supposed to be a cruel and sadistic woman who killed innocent people. She was also an ANBU not of ROOT, loyal to Konoha and it's citizens, there was no reason for her to kill me. Add on to the fact that she was going easy on me and it made the whole situation feel suspicious almost as of she was, "testing me," I breathed out in realization.
The cold smirk fell off of Yugao's lips and instead she gave me a genuine smile, "Hatake said that you were smart," she commented before once more charging me.
"Well since you're testing me it's only fair that I go all out," I muttered before pulling a soldier pill out of my pouch and quickly swallowing it.
Fun fact about soldier pills is that while they may give you a physical boost they also give you a temporary artificial chakra boost which was exactly what I would need for my own technique. Making sure to dodge Yugao's blade I soon felt the cool embrace as my shadow rose up and enveloped my body like a second skin. This did not make me faster or stronger, give me armour or allow me to meld into the shadows but what it did do was allow me to use the Shadow Sewing Technique without any hand-seals though it ate through my chakra faster than an Akimichi at a picnic.
I rushed towards Yugao, intent on finishing this as quickly as possible. As we got in close she brought her sword up and then down, intent on cutting me but I let a spear of shadow fly off of my arm, it's aim her wrist. Yugao deflected it easily but was unable to deflect the second spear that was aimed for one of her left leg. There was a puff of smoke and she was gone.
"Kage Bunshin," I muttered, immediately rolling to the left in case there was a sneak attack coming. As I brought myself to my feet a sword was placed against my throat.
"Sorry but you're dead," Yugao said kindly.
I shrugged and let my shadow slide off of me, "well not like I was expected to beat you was I?" I asked rhetorically. "So gonna tell me just what you were testing me for?"
Yugao removed her sword from my neck and slowly sheathed it. "Hatake mentioned that you knew the point of his test from the very beginning, your reports from The Academy remark about your drive to improve yourself and to succeed. You have if not created your own jutsu then modified one to suit your fighting style. If that had not been a Kage Bunshin and if you had actually gone for the kill then I may have been in danger," she commented. "just in case you have not worked it out yet, you, Nara Miyako are being tested for the opportunity to join ANBU," she then smacked me over the head with her sword sheath, knocking me out.
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So yeah a new self-insert story this time as a nara chick.
No she won't be overpowered and in case you say ANBU is overpowered well rank means nothing for ANBU, she will probably be high-chuunin when the manga starts andwell that's not too strong.
She still has the mentality of a guy who works in kitchens so perversion and being a smart ass is going to be a thing for her.
Oh yeah not sure if I said this but she is Shika's twin.
As always read, review and shiny meat bicycles for the win!