All I Want to Do is Dream
This tale is a large departure from anything else that I've done. The ambiguous nature of it is deliberate - read into it what you will as with the short story The Lady or The Tiger.
It's also a wee bit creepy - Happy Halloween, fellow Criminal Minds fans.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. - Bill Watterson
"Derek?"
Derek Morgan attempted to open his eyes, but had to give up. They felt like some joker had attached lead weights to them. But he heard the voice that he had been afraid that he'd never hear again and struggled to respond.
"Reid?"
"I'm right here. Just like I promised. Don't scare me like that again, please?"
He felt it as the long fingers wrapped gently around his hand and sighed. Then Reid's voice softly prodded again.
"What do you remember?"
"Blood. I remember. Seeing you covered in blood."
"You're remembering right. That was your blood. We got you to the hospital in time. You're going to be fine."
His mind got a little clearer, but his eyes still refused to cooperate.
"I remember hearing a gun go off. More than once. At least I think so."
"That's right too. Hotch got the Unsub, but not before Unsub fired. Just take it slow. A little disorientation is to be expected. You're just waking up after the surgery. Or - maybe not. You're still tired, aren't you?"
"Yes, yes I am."
He still couldn't make his stubborn eyes open but he felt Reid squeeze his hand and he managed to take hold and squeeze back.
"Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake back up."
The next time he felt his thoughts returning, he knew who was there without opening his eyes. Which was just as well. Lead weights were still attached. There was Garcia - he could hear her sounds of distress and smell her fruity-sweet perfume. And Hotch. Quiet, but he had a distinctive cologne.
"Baby girl - cut out the water works before we have to get a mop brigade in here."
He heard the gasp followed by the subdued squeal.
"We've been so worried. How are you feeling?"
"Like a guy that got shot. So - you got him, Hotch?"
"Yes. I did. How did you know? I thought you were unconscious."
"Reid told me. Where is he? He said he'd stay here. Be here when I woke up."
Wait. Why was Penelope sobbing again? The way Hotch was clearing his throat wasn't normally a good sign either.
"Morgan."
Hotch paused, then tried again.
"Derek. Reid - Reid didn't make it. I'm sorry."
"Didn't make it? Didn't make what? He was just here. The first time I woke up. What happened?"
Garcia came closer and took hold of his hand. Then Hotch spoke again softly.
"Reid saved your life. When you were hit, the bleeding was bad. He stayed with you and kept pressure on the artery all the way to the hospital. The doctor said it was probably the adrenaline that kept him from noticing. Reid was so focused on you, he never knew he was hit himself. And there was so much blood all over both of you. Nobody realized at first that it wasn't all yours."
Morgan's voice was barely over a whisper.
"Reid was shot? But he was here."
Garcia gave his hand a little squeeze and he heard her hiccup as she got her breathing back under control. Her voice was still shaky when she spoke.
"I heard him promise to stay with you. He tried, he tried as hard as anyone could have to stay. But by the time that the doctor knew he was hurt, he'd lost too much blood. He didn't make it out of surgery."
Derek stopped trying to open his eyes and just sank back on the pillows.
"Hotch, should I call the nurse?"
"No. She said the medication was going to have him going in and out for awhile. Let him rest. It's a lot to take in."
He welcomed the darkness for awhile. Then his dreams interrupted the peace. Blood. Blood everywhere. Blood covering Reid like the prom scene in Carrie. Gasping, he broke himself out of it and felt those long, familiar fingers wrap around his hand again.
"Shhh - it's alright. I'm here. Just like I promised. You're going to be fine. Calm down. Your heart's racing. That's not good for you so soon after surgery."
"I had a - a really screwed up dream. I dreamed that you were dead. That you died saving my life."
"Easy. Easy. I'm here. We're both here. Hallucinations might be an aftereffect of the anesthesia. Do you want me to get the doctor?"
"No! No doctor. Just - just stay. I'm a little spooked."
"I will. Derek? What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid that my dream might have been real and that being here with you might be the dream."
Derek still hadn't opened his eyes. He no longer even tried.
Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. – Zhuang Zi