Disclaimer: I own nothing except an overactive imagination and way too many plotbunnies.

Ghost of You

Kurt's a rational human being. Well, somewhat. He's also a performer, which is steeped in superstition, and works with people in the fashion business, which is more of the same. And of course, there's Finn, and the superstitions that comes with sports.

Still. He considers himself rational. And he definitely draws the line when it comes to believing in supernatural beings, like say ghosts. He doesn't believe in the whole afterlife package at all, not heaven, not hell, and not ghosts.

You live, you die, you're gone. End of story. The rest is fairytales meant to comfort those left behind.

So when Rachel bursts in at 6 freaking 20 AM, waking him up with tales of a ghost in the loft? Kurt wouldn't have taken it well even without the shaking or the high-pitched noises.

(Yes, he'd known what he signed up for, but goddammit. He'd pulled an allnighter at , only coming home at 4:30, and Rachel had known it.)

"There are no such things as ghosts, Rachel. And the next time you wake me up like this – after less than two hours of sleep, by the way – telling some crazy story, just because you want me awake to critique your pre-school practice," which she's asked before, several times, "I am going to prove it, by killing you. Now get out of my bedroom, and be quiet."

The huffing that accompanies Rachel's stormout is probably impressive, but Kurt doesn't care. He doesn't have to get up for another four hours, and so he won't. Rachel will just have to deal.

She's demonstratively upset with him all day, and then the next morning she pulls the same stunt again. Of course, since she technically waits until he's up, he can't follow through on the killing her threat. Doesn't stop him from repeating it though.

That night Rachel doesn't come back to the loft, and when Kurt texts her to ask he gets a terse reply about not wanting to deal with the ghost – or him. Fine, whatever.

And naturally that's when he hears it. Hollow, whining sounds, followed by soft banging and scratching. Kurt can kind of understand why Rachel thought "ghost", except for how they don't exist. So, rational human being as he is, Kurt investigates.

It takes him the better part of an hour to find the source of the noises, and when he does Kurt wishes he'd listened to Rachel's paranoia. Because it's not a ghost, obviously, but instead a starved cat somehow trapped behind a chimney grate.

It's the work of no time, practically, to open it up (Kurt's once more grateful for having a proper toolbox with him) and get the cat out. It's scared, and smelly, but it's also eager to get out. When Kurt carries it into the bathroom and closes the door the car is not happy, but once he returns with food and water he's instantly forgiven.

When Rachel returns the next morning Kurt's reading on the couch, purring and clean cat on his lap.

"What's that?"

"It's a cat, Rachel. Do you need to get your eyes checked?"

She huffs again, clearly still not over the imagined slight.

"I mean, what is it doing here?"

And well, Kurt's not going to tell her it's her ghost. After all, he just had a quiet evening to himself, all because of some sounds. Sounds that are, in fact, easy enough to reproduce if he feels like getting rid of his roommate for the night again.

"I found it, trapped in the alley. None of the neighbors recognize him, and so I've decided I'm going to keep him. Rachel, meet Salieri. Salieri, Rachel."

Just like that there are three inhabitants in the loft. And if Rachel keeps insisting there's also a ghost, well. Kurt and Salieri will just share smirks and tell her, again, that really Rachel, ghosts don't exist.

~The End ~