No Butts About It

A/N: I know it has been a while since I've written anything, but I have been dealing with personal family issues lately and haven't been in the mood to write. However, today I figured it would be a good time to start writing again and so I give you a funny story about John Cena. Most of you know I'm a huge fan of his, but what you may not know is that I also have an unhealthy obsession with his backside. Every time he wrestles, I can't stop looking at it no matter how hard I try. And while thinking about my said obsession, this story was born. I actually had it in my head two weeks ago, but due to said family issues, I knew it wasn't a good time to start writing it because of my mood. So, without any further rambling, here is my story.

Disclaimer: WWE and all related characters are property of Vince McMahon and the wresters who portray them. I only own the plot and nothing more.

Summary: John Cena has always known that fans have liked him and certain parts of him, but when he gets some stares from his fellow Superstars, he really wonders if maybe it's worth it to have such a good backside.

John Cena smiled as he made his way into the arena. It was his first day back after being out with an injury, and he was ready to get back into the ring and doing what he loved to do. As he entered the building he smiled as he heard cheers from the fans and noticed a lot of women checking him out. This was common behavior, and John was accustomed to it as he needed to be. He waved to the fans and even signed a few autographs before leaving the fans and heading to his locker room.

He greeted a lot of his fellow Superstars who were happy to see him, but as he kept going, he noticed that many of them were giving him weird looks and staring at a particular part of his body. What was that all about anyway?

"Yo, John, good to see you, dawg," R-Truth said.

"It's good to see you, too, Truth," John replied. "How's it goin' tagging with Goldust?"

"Oh, it's been great," he answered. He began talking a bit about what was going on, but John was only half listening as he noticed more of his co-workers staring at him.

R-Truth seemed to notice that John's attention wasn't focused on him. "John, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good," John answered. "I just don't get why people are staring at me."

"They haven't seen you in a long time," Truth replied.

John shook his head. "No, that's not it," he said. "It's something else."

Truth just shrugged and left to go to his locker room. John headed to his own locker room and continued to see others staring at him for no good reason. He really wanted to piece this together and see what was going on. He ran into Dean Ambrose next.

"Hey, John, long time, no see," Dean said.

"Yeah, I know," John said. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good," Dean answered. "I'm gonna go head to catering. I'll see you later." As he left, he turned and stared at John's back. Okay, what was going on?

"Hey, John, wait up!" a voice called out.

John turned to see AJ Styles hurrying over to him along with his friends, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson.

"Hey, AJ, nice to finally see you," greeted John.

"Likewise," AJ replied.

"So, what's up?" John asked him.

"I just got done talkin' to Stephanie, and she said we're gonna do a segment tonight where I'm gonna come out and interrupt you. Then Karl and Luke are gonna come out and attack you. I just got the script, so I figured you'd wanna look it over."

John nodded and took the script and read it. It was a pretty straight forward segment and John was excited about doing something tonight even if he was getting attacked. "Sounds good," he said. "Thanks for the heads up."

"No problem," AJ said. "And I just wanna say it's an honor to be working with you and my boys agree."

Anderson and Gallows nodded.

"Thank you," John said. "The same goes for you guys, too. I'll see you out there."

The three men nodded and left him. John continued on his way and then saw Enzo and Cass who stopped to greet him.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you," Enzo greeted him.

"Nice to meet you guys, too," John said. "I've been watching and you guys are awesome."

"Thanks, but you're pretty awesome yourself," Enzo replied.

"Yeah, I was watching you for a long time, and you definitely are a legend around here," Cass added.

"Well, thanks for that," John said. "I hope to see you guys around."

"Oh, John, one more thing," Enzo said. "You've got the best ass around here and you can't teach that."

Before John could say anything, the two men were gone. He was nearing his locker room when he ran into Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins who were going over their segment for the night.

"John, it's good to see you," Seth said as he gave his former rival a hug.

"You too," John said. "Your leg seems to be better I see."

"Yep, it's all good."

"Look, something weird's happening to me. A lot of people are staring at me and I don't know why. Then Enzo said I had the best ass around here. What's that all about?"

Roman smiled knowingly. "Well, we all have something that attracts other people," he said. "For me, it's my good looks. For you, it's your ass."

"So, people are attracted to my ass?" John asked him.

Roman nodded. "Yeah, and you haven't been here in a while so now people are starting to notice you again."

"But why do the guys have to stare at me too?" John asked. "It's just too weird for me, man."

"I know that, but that's the way it is," Roman said gently. "I get stares from the guys, too. Sometimes you just have to ignore it and pretend it doesn't bother you."

John sighed. "Well, I guess I'll just have to try, but it is pretty weird. I'll see you guys later." He waved to them and found himself staring at Roman for a minute before snapping out of it and heading on his way. Yep, Roman was definitely onto something there.

22222

That night, the segment went well, and John was happy about it. He left the arena and found some fans waiting for him. He signed some autographs and watched as some of the fans stared at his butt. Instead of feeling weird about it, he smiled and started popping his butt the way the music group, Fifth Harmony, had shown him on The Today Show earlier in the day and was met with some whoops and cat calls. Smiling in satisfaction, he couldn't wait to see Nikki and start showing her some of his new moves with his butt. He had a feeling she was going to enjoy it. With that last thought in his head, he got on his bus and headed to the next show to tape SmackDown.

The End

A/N: And so ends this little tale. I hope you enjoyed it. That bit about Fifth Harmony was true because they really did teach him that on the Today Show. Feel free to leave a review and have a shelltastic day.