GUINEA PIG
A 'Portal" fan fiction
CHAMBER 1
"Good morning test subject number 01125. Today, you will be testing Aperture Science's new portal technology. This is the first time we will be testing the new factor. Please remember the protocols when handling new items. Also, this is a prototype. If it is broken or damaged we will be mad, very mad. Do not worry though. Since this technology is new, you will not encounter any hazards. Not any that we plan of. If you do encounter a hazard, please notify us through your Aperture Science Life Monitor Watch. If you do not have your Aperture Science Life Monitor Watch when you encounter the hazard, we are sorry, but you're screwed. The door will open in three... two... one. Thank you for letting us help you, help us, help everyone."
My name is Ethan Blaze; this was my first day of testing. I was nervous. Since I am test subject 01125, there were most likely one thousand one hundred twenty-four others before me. Does that mean this is a life-threatening test? No, GLaDoS said it would be hazard free, hopefully. I didn't think Black Mesa was good for me. I am smart, though all that scientific stuff gets boring if you're not testing it. Now I am in possible danger in a maze hosted by an unknown group of people who may of hired one thousand one-hundred twenty-four before me and they all might be dead. Can't quit now though.
I drink the coffee they supply me with, take my pills, and then step through the door. I enter the hallway full of rooms for other subjects, or were other subjects should be. I check my watch, 0507. I have some time before my testing. I stop by the recreation room, empty as usual. I go over to the computer to check my e-mail. I got an e-mail from my Grandpa Bill, wishing me luck, and an e-mail from Black Mesa still trying to recruit me. I told Gordon to take me off the Black Mesa contact list.
I met Gordon in school. We were both studying portal technology. We were top of the class and we worked together. We went our own ways though. He still wants me to join Black Mesa as an engineer, I like my job though, at least, I think I do. Today I start what could be the most dangerous thing I have ever done.
I go to the equipment room and get my mechanic leg braces on. They are used for stopping my legs from breaking when falling great distances. Aperture wants to put them on the market but the price would be so high, only the richest people could buy them. Then I go to the briefing room. Since I was to report to the room at 0515, but I went early because I had nothing better to do. The clock in the room ticked slowly, it felt like a minute in-between each click. Once the time came I was ready for a human face, but instead, a speaker came out and GLaDoS started the briefing.
"Today you will be using our very new super special Aperture Science Portal Gun. You will be receiving it through the equipment storage lift to the left of the door on your way out. You will use it to get through the Hazardous-" GLaDoS messed up, but recovered quickly, I did not though, "Your harm-free obstacle course is not made to be dangerous at all, but improper use of equipment could result in death. That is all for now. After you complete the test, there will be a party and cake in honor of your success, and good luck."
The lift came up with a strange looking gun with two large canisters on either side. It looked kind of like a shotgun except made for shooting portals. I took the gun and walk to the door. I feel very confident, but also very scared.
"We will begin testing in three... two... one. Remember, safety of equipment first, then yours if necessary."
I walk through the door into the first testing room. GLaDoS's voice comes back. "Your first test will be using the Aperture Science Portal Gun to cross a gap. This should be easy if you can put two and two together. If you can't, get out of my building."
I decided that I could be crossing while GLaDoS was talking but I thought it might try talking to me while already talking once I cross. I look around for instructions. There were none I could see. Does this devise work like a normal gun? It's looks more like a short, bent, pole with to jars and a trigger. I had no clue how dangerous it could be so I went up to the gap and looked down. It was a really long drop. Most likely a one hundred fifty foot drop. I back away dizzy.
"No hazards?" I think to myself, "What the hell do they call this? If I were to fall, I'd be dead. This gun looks cheap but dangerous. So do I use it and maybe blow myself up, or jump down and shatter like glass? I can't jump it, so I guess I'll try the gun. Ok, here it goes."
I fire the gun at the wall near the exit on the other side. The gun glows as a small glowing orb crosses the room towards the far wall. It makes contact and expands on the wall into what looks like a hole. All I can see on the other side of the hole is the wall.
"Did it work? Maybe I should try it on this side of the hole, too. Or should I aim it at me to teleport to that hole. No, Aperture wouldn't make a gun you point at yourself. Well I guess I'll fire on this side, too."
I fire at the wall on my side of the gap. Again, the gun glows then a small orb of light hits the wall. In a second, I could see through the hole I made. I walk up to it and look through, and I saw someone's back. I quickly turn around to look at the other hole and then I quickly figured out that it was my back.
"Is it safe to walk through?" I thought to myself. I look around for something to toss through. I reach into my pocket and pull out something. It was my pills. I needed them but I needed my life more. I gently toss them through. There was an electric noise as it passes through the portal and onto the ground on the other side.
"It looks safe. My pills aren't living, though. What happens if a living organism passes through? Only one way to find out at the moment"
I jump through the hole with my eyes closed. I heard the strange electric noise again and then I heard my feet hit the ground.
"Am I through?" I thought, eyes still closed. Slowly I open my eyes and saw that I was now on the other side of the gap. I pick up my pills, put them in my pocket again, and walk through the door.
"Congratulations, you made it through the first part of test one. Was that so hard? We tested it on a cat before you, we never saw it again. Poor thing was most probably vaporized in the time-space continuum. You are still alive though-" GLaDoS stopped for a second. It sounded like a short circuit, and then GLaDoS continued, "So you think. What? Sorry, there was a small error on my side. Where was I? Oh, part two. Your next test involves the portal resistant walls. You will need to use forward momentum to pass. Hopefully, this will work. Since the portal gun is new and still in testing, it's full features are unknown. Again, good luck (kkshhhzz)..."
I don't know what is wrong with that computer. I feel good knowing it doesn't run the place though. The people in charge told me that this machine may say something weird, but its main A.I. was not hostile. Maybe a small A.I. in some part of its nine computers has some violent ideas, but not the main computer.
Now in the second room, I think of what I can do. The black tiles are portal resistant and on the side I want to get to.
"I know it only works with the normal walls." I think to myself, " The floors are the same material as the walls, meaning I should be able to place a portal there. GLaDoS said I will need forward momentum, and there is not enough room to pick up a good speed on this side. I guess this gap will be useful, if it has the correct flooring."
I go to the edge of the hole and look down. I see it has the same flooring as the walls, so I shoot a portal as high up on the wall as possible. Then I l take a step back to see if it is high enough up. I was to close to the edge though and now I was falling down. I felt sick inside as the wind flew by me. Then I hit the ground feet first.
Nothing happened. I wasn't dead. "How is this possible?" I thought. Then I remembered the leg braces. "It doesn't matter if I fall. I could fall of the tallest building and take no damage," I thought aloud.
GLaDoS's voice came on the intercom "After that fall, you are most likely think you could fall of the worlds tallest building and take no damage. Sorry to crash your party, but no. This will save you from falls under four hundred feet. We are working on a new model though. It will let you fall-"
I stopped listening to GLaDoS and continued with my test. I shot a portal at the ground and jumped threw. I came flying out the other end and back into the hole.
"This was unexpected," I thought. I once again was falling. Then I aimed at the ground I was about to hit, shot a portal and fell through, flying out and across the pit."
"-So the Wrights brothers- oh, you are across now. So that is how portals affect momentum, or more so, how it is not. Please continue to the elevator to proceed to the next test."
I then walked to the elevator and got in. GLaDoS then continued on with talking about the history of transportation. I got in the elevator, the doors closed, and I was on my way to the next testing chamber.
CHAMBER 2
After a short wait, I was in the second test chamber. GLaDoS's voice came on the intercom, "In this test chamber, you will be using a Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube to proceed to the (kkkssshhh) cake (kkkssshhh) next level. Your goal is to get the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube to the (kkkssshhh) uuunnnstable (kkkssshhhh) completely safe Aperture Science Testing Chamber Button. The Aperture Science Testing Chamber Button is hard to miss. It is big, red, and the only button you will find around here. Good luck."
I looked around the room and saw a large tube drop a cube that was around two feet tall. I went over to it. Since it was the only cube in the room, I easily guessed it was the one I needed. I looked around for a red button. I didn't see it.
"This is strange, GLaDoS said it's hard to miss, but I don't see it."
I stood there thinking for a while but I wasn't there for long. I remembered what a friend had once said to me, "When you have hit the bottom, there is only place to go, up." I looked up and to my dismay; all I saw was the ceiling.
"Well that was useless."
GLaDoS's voice came back on, "We are sorry, there seems to be an error with this room. We will open the door so you may continue, and again, we are sorry for this clearly broken room."
I was beginning to realize how annoying Aperture Science could be. The door opened, and I proceeded. In this room, there was a ledge with a cube on it, and on the other side of the room was a hard-to-miss, big, red button.
I fired a portal next to the cube on the ledge, and then fired another near me. I hopped through, picked up the cube, dropped down from the ledge, and walked over to the button. I placed the cube on the button and the door opened.
"Congratulations," Said GLaDoS," You made it through part one (kshz) two of test chamber two, please proceed to the next chamber."
I waked through the door, wondering about the mistake GLaDoS had just made. Was the task I just completed chamber 1? Was where the elevator brought me a useless room? No, GLaDoS is doing something.
"In this chamber," said GLaDoS," You will be introduced to a new technology, we are still thinking of a name. Right now we are thinking on using 'Super Aperture Science Laser Shield' it will burn your flesh... just kidding, it is a laser wall, but one that has no effects on a human, that we know of. It does affect technology, not your portal gun, things like cell phones, iPods, and Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cubes. Those things cannot pass through the laser shield. We are planning on having our new laser shields replace the metal detectors in airports; metal detectors can be less reliable. Sorry, I was getting diverted from the testing again. Please continue."
I looked around the room. There was a cube that had just fallen from the tube, a platform around twelve feet from the ground, and a "laser shield". I walk up to the laser shield and see the red button on the other side.
"This test is easy," I thought to myself," all I have to do is fire a portal on that side, then fire one on this side, then I drop the box in and put it on the button."
I fire a portal at the wall on the other side of the shield; the orb of light hit the shield and faded away.
"Okay, I'll fire a portal once I pass through it" I walk through the shield then fire a portal, the portal opened. I then turned around and walked back through. I then fired a portal at the wall on the first side, but when it opened, all I saw was the wall. I looked back through the energy shield and saw that my first portal had closed.
"Looks like we were wrong," Said GLaDoS," the energy shield is portal resistant. We will take note of this. Since portals cannot be fired through it and when you pass through the energy shield they disappear, this test is broken. We apologize for this inconvenience."
" So know I go back to my room until they fix this problem, maybe I should have gone to Black Mesa, at least they get stuff done there," I thought to myself," though I heard they were using a portal in which you have to jump from one dimension to the next to get to your location, which sounds pretty dangerous. I guess this portal technology is better, you only have to go through one portal to get to your location."
I waited for ten minutes; help should've been there by now. I decided to go on top of the platform. I fired a portal on the wall near the platform, and then one near me. I went through and then GLaDoS's voice came back and said," We apologize for this clearly broken test chamber, make no attempts to continue."
I looked around and saw something that made me feel very stupid. There was a hole five feet above the shield. I quickly hopped down from the platform, picked up the cube, and went back to the portal on the ground to get back to the platform. Once up there again, I set down the cube, fired a portal through the hole to the other side of the shield. The portal loop was complete; I picked up the cube, walked through the portal. Once on the other side of the shield, I put the cube on the button, opened the door and continued.
"Now you are thinking with portals." Said GLaDoS," We knew this test was possible the entire time, but we wanted to study how you would deal with the problem if we told you couldn't. Please proceed to the elevator to continue the test."
I went to the elevator and got in. All I had to do was one more test. I didn't know what to expect. I thought of the one thousand one hundred twenty-four before me.
CHAMBER 3
The elevator door opened and I walked out. The first thing I noticed was a very large gap in the middle of the room. I then saw one of the walls move forwards. It was strange; I quickly realized though that it was a retractable wall.
"In this test, you will have to use forward momentum again. You have most likely realized the Aperture Science Retractable Wall; use it to your advantage. Also, there is a minor error in this room. The drop from the highest platform is higher then it should be. There is a five-hundred foot drop, your leg braces cannot save you from this height, meaning you will have to get it right the first time. Also," there was a click," I am sorry to announce that, since employees have been relaxing on the job, MySpace, face book, and twitter can no longer be used in the Aperture Science Building. We are sorry for this inconvenience. That is all, good day."
I stopped listening to the announcement once GLaDoS announced the message was to everyone. I fired a portal at the retractable wall, then one down the gap. I then jumped down the gap and into the portal, flying out the other end. Then I heard a loud clank, the next wall started moving. When it stopped, I fired a portal at the second wall, and jumped back down into the portal in the gap. Again I flew out and onto the second level. I did the same thing for the third platform. Once on the third platform, a retractable wall came out from the platforms wall and slanted up at forty-five degrees. The door was on the other side of the gap.
"If I fail this," I thought to myself," I will break my legs at least, I might die. Is this how the others died? No, it's near impossible for one thousand one hundred twenty-four other highly trained people to fail this. I'm sure I can do this."
I fired a portal on to the slanted wall, and then I looked down to the bottom of the gap. I fired a portal and carefully dropped. Carefully is most likely the wrong word though, it was a long drop, though I heard the familiar electric sound as I passed through and flew across to the platform with the door. Time seemed to slow again, my heart beating rapidly. Then, time came back as I landed.
"We are very, VeRY, proud of your success." Said GLaDoS, "The committee is very happy and your party is ready. Please proceed to the Aperture Science Elevator to continue to your party. Once again, we are- where is my cat? Sorry, I do not know what that was. I was saying, we are very proud of you."
I found what GLaDoS said strange. Then again, I find most of the things GLaDoS says strange. Right now though, I am happy, so I am not going to think about GLaDoS. I proceed to the elevator to go to my party. My day is done, or so I thought at the time.
TO BE CONTINUED...