Hi everyone, so this is a One Shot based on Inuyasha and Kagome. THis is also a little bit of a song fic with a song from a brilliant artist whom I really love. I do not own the lyrics or the song and especially not any of Inuyasha. I only mixed the two together to form this little story. I hope you enjoy!
Italics-Flash back or song.
Bold-Inside the song the bold words are the words of the song I changed to fit Kagome's world and feelings.
Everything. He was a traveling companion. He was a protector. He was a close friend. He was a loved one. He was the reason I made new friends, he was the reason I saw a different world. He was the reason I breathed and the reason I fought. He was everything to me, and because he was everything to me, we had everything to lose. And I did, I lost it all.
I shouldn't say he was because to be completely honest he still is. He is everything to me, he is a loved one and he is the reason I breath and fight. He is the reason I saw a different world and he IS everything to me.
I was sitting under the sacred tree in my back yard watching the doors of the shed. Was he ever going to come, or was I wasting my time. No, time you enjoy wasting isn't time wasted. I could sit here and wait for him forever. Would it make me happy to do so, no probably not. But if I left and missed him could I live with myself? No, definitely not.
Again. Again I had returned to my own world after a fight with him. A stupid fight, it wasn't worth this yet it was worth everything more. I had to know, but I wanted so badly to go back to him. But something, some force was telling me to wait, to stay, and that force was what held me back. Could it be pride maybe? No, I was pretty sure it was the desire of reassurance. I needed to know that he wanted me by his side. Not for the jewel shards, not to break barriers, to have someone stand by him. Someone who he could love and they too would love him. But maybe that was asking too much.
"Why do you always leave?" I shouted. He always left when she called. If I called, yeah of course he'd come. But if he had to choose which one to save, why would you save the copy when you could have the original? That question always haunted me. Because deep down I knew he felt everything for her, and nothing for me. Deep down, I was nothing more than a pair of eyes and she was his one and only love.
"Because!" He responded.
"That's not enough anymore! Because why Inuyasha!" I yelled. My voice was cracking and full of frustration. He never answered that question and I always left with the why roaming around in my head. This time, this time would be different.
"Because I have to!" He said. He hardly held back as his volume soon reached the level of mine." I have to,"
"And why do you have to? Why don't you allow us to come too if the only reason you go is because you have to!" I was on the brink of tears. I was done. D-O-N-E. I needed one answer, to end my pain. I would leave and not come back and live my old life, or be satisfied with the answer and be able to stay because the pain would be pushed behind the closed doors once again.
"because, because she needs me!" He said. I didn't know what I expected but I wasn't expecting that. Kikyo, need him. The words didn't register. And I didn't believe them. She had deceived him or he was just that deluded. Those words to me only registered one thing, lies. He was now looking at the ground waiting for my response. Probrably expecting a sit but I didn't give him one.
So when I could find my words I spoke. "Fine Inuyasha" I didn't know what to say so I keept it short. I began to walk towards the well and when I had one leg over he spoke again.
"Kagome wait-" He tried to stop me. He grabbed my wrist but I yanked it back. He wasn't using his full force because either he didn't want to force me to stay or he didn't really care if I left or not. Let's hope it was the first.
"No Inuyasha, I'm done. But let me just ask you one thing." I said. I began to swing the second leg in so I could leave when ready. When I looked back at him there was something in his eyes. I wasn't sure what because it was unfamiliar.
"What if I need you too?" I spoke softly but fiercely. My voice was steady, though it wasn't cold or emotionless. In fact it was the opposite. It held all the emotion I felt and it held the weight of the universe.
He just looked at me and after a few moments it was clear he couldn't or wasn't going to respond. So I left. With not even a goodbye so I didn't break his consentration. He could think about it all he wanted and if he came to the decision that he still wanted me, he could come and get me. But he had to really assure me this time, that he still wanted me. Or I still might not return.
It had been days, maybe even a week since I'd heard from him. Even before I left there was, something between us. We didn't speak that much and everything felt unfamiliar. In his presence I felt pushed to the side, almost unwelcome. I told him I would stay by his side as long as he wanted me. But that was the catch; he had to want me there. He had to tell me he wanted me there.
"Inuyasha, Can I stay with you?" I asked.
"Kagome," He said.
"I understand the bond you and Kikyo share, and I know that nothing I can do will change it. But Inuyasha as long as you want me by your side I will stay. I will stay with you until you tell me to leave, because I tried to forget you Inuyasha. But I can't. You're always going to be with me, even if it's just a small part. And this life is my life now." I said. It was true, all of it. For now staying by his side was enough. I know he loves her, but I think that, I might… I might love him too. And to forget him, would be close to impossible, and for him to completely forget her would be most definitely unlikely improbable.
Still he only glanced at me. It was minutes until he spoke that it kind of shocked me.
"Kagome, you would stay by my side?" He asked. As if a little unsure or as if he didn't believe it.
"If you wanted me, yes." I said. "So can I stay?" I asked. "As long as you wanted me, it would be forever and always" I said.
"Please stay." He said. A faint smile was placed upon his lips that if you didn't know him you wouldn't know he was smiling at all.
I grabbed his hand and we began walking back towards the village where Shippo, Sango, Miroku and Kaede awaited our return.
Only when he enclosed my hand in his did I hear him speak again. "Forever and Always" He said. The small smile still tugging at his lips. It was the softest of whispers that I'm sure he didn't intend for anyone to hear, or maybe he meant for it to be for my ears only. I looked up at him and I smiled, we agreed, forever and always.
Thinking about that I didn't know if he knew he only meant it at the time. And maybe he never meant it. Maybe this was just a way to get me to find the shards for him. Maybe my life so far had been a lie. And maybe not. I wasn't sure.
Lost in thought I almost didn't hear a little voice calling me.
"Kagome" It whispered. It was so faint, almost inaudible. I was about to look around for the voice when it spoke again. I froze. "Kagome" It said. It sounded so much like his voice, I almost broke out in sobs, I was going hysterical. I had been watching the shed for days. Mom brought me food and I only left once or twice a day. He couldn't be here. So who was this little voice?
"Kagome" It spoke again. This voice, this little soft voice which was so much like the first but still extremely similar to his voice was speaking to me, inside my head. Then I realised, this voice was the same 'force' that compelled me to stay and not leave. To not run into his arms. I didn't know why but I felt compelled to listen to it still. To truly listen to this little voice. Was it my conscience? No I don't think so. It's something, unnaturally natural and something that's so unfamiliar it seems familiar.
"How do you feel ?" It asked. How did I feel? Angry, upset, disappointed, unsure, unknowing, and yet... calm at the same time.
"Focus on how you feel." It said. So I did. I closed my eyes and pictured him. All my emotions that I felt towards him, the good and the bad. I pictured when I met him, when I left him, when we fought and when we made up, but the thing that kept coming back to me was forever and always. Him smiling and saying those two words. They meant more to me than the three words everyone else wanted to hear from the man they loved. I just wanted to hear him say those words one more time, and for him to mean them.
"How do you feel?" It asked again. I already knew how I felt. But after thinking about all these moments I spent with him I felt a little different. I was still disappointed and upset but I wasn't angry. I was now also pleased and I felt this immense urge to let go, to say how I felt whether anyone was listening or not. So I spoke, I knew what it was asking.
"The need to let go, not escape but to release all my emotions. " I said in a calm voice.
"Go" it said. One word, one simple word, one syllable, two letters and one meaning. So I slowly opened my eyes and walked until I was in between the two places that held my favorite things, where I met him and the world where he lives.
"Now let go" It spoke. "Let go of what you feel, speak, shout, scream, sing or cry. Let go." Those were my last instructions. And as I felt I should do, and I have done I obeyed.
I Let Go.
Speak, shout, scream, sing or cry. Ifwhen I spoke I wanted it to be to him, when I shout, scream and cry will be when I have hit rock bottom. When what I have feared has happened. When he shows up to say he would not be returning to the other world with me, that he came to say good bye. That would be my last resort of letting go.
But now to truly let go to release my emotions, the best way as silly as it sounded was to let it go through the natural beat of the soul. So I sang. I sang a song that meant everything Iwas feeling and I let it go. I danced around and let my heart go.
Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday
When I caught your eye
And we caught onto something, I hold on to the night
You looked me in the eye and told me you needed me
Were you just kidding? 'Cause it seems to me
This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
Baby, what happened? Please tell me
'Cause one second it was perfect
Now I'm halfway through the well
And I stare at the well and you still haven't come
And then I'm feelin so low, I can't feel nothin' at all
And I'm flashbacking to when you said, forever and always
Oh, oh
Oh, and it rains in my bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when I'm here and it rains when you're gone
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always
Was I out of line? did I say somthing way to honest
that made you run and hide like a scared little pup?
I looked into your eyes, thought I knew you for a minute
Now I'm not so sure
So here's to everything, coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Where is this going? Never knew for a minute
but do you careanymore?
And I stare at the well and you still havn't come
And then I'm feelin so low, I can't feel nothin' at all
And I'm flashbacking to when we said forever and always
Oh, oh
Oh, and it rains in my bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when I'm here and it rains when you're gone
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always
did you mean it baby, I don't think so
Oh, oh
Oh, back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?
Back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?
'Cause it rains in my bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when I'm here and it rains when you're gone
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always
Oh, I stare at the well and you still haven't come
And then I'm feelin so low, I can't feel nothin' at all
And I'm flashbackingto when you said forever and always
And it rains in my bedroom, everything is wrong
It rains when I'm here and it rains when you're gone
'Cause I was there when you said forever and always
You didn't mean it, baby, you said forever and always
She finally felt, free. The pressure on her shoulders was gone, it disappeared the moment she ended the song. So when she heard that voice again she was frozen in shock.
"Kagome." She'd done what it said, did she not do it right? She felt good so why was it back. She slowly waited for the voice once more. She analyzed the last time it spoke her name. Something was different. It didn't feel the same. And when she didn't hear it again she finally let go of the breath she'd been holding.
She began to turn around to sit back under the tree again when she froze mid-step.
Inuyasha.
There he was. Standing in between her and the tree. She didn't understand. She didn't see him come through the doors, she didn't hear him or see him when she was letting go. Then it hit her. She didn't see him. The voice, inside her head had commanded her to focus on what she felt. It didn't say close her eyes but she did, because she wanted to completely focus. That's when he must have come through.
Why didn't he call out to her. For the second time she realised something. There were two times when the little voice seemed real, and almost too familiar. Kagome. The second time she heard her name, she was sure it was him. Because it was, and it wasn't in her head he was probably standing right in front of her. Speak. She didn't know it at the time but now that she thought about it, that first word seemed different. Because again it was him, commanding if not pleading her to speak to him. He didn't know she was of in her own little world.
So where was he when he asked her to speak. Her eyes were open and she was standing in the middle of her yard. He must have been perched in the tree. Finally that last Kagome must have been him. That's why there was no second repetition, he was still waiting.
She was brought out of her deep train of thought by the brush of clothing on her bare arms. She was imideatly engulfed in a warm embrace. That was the last thing she expected from this visit. And now she stood even more shocked and confused than before. But it didn't take long before she too wrapped her arms around him and hugged his chest.
Two words broke their silence.
"Forever and Always." He said. And at those two words she completely let go. She fell so he was the only thing holding her up, tears streamed down her face but she was laughing. Joy. That was all she felt. He remembered.
"Kagome" He said. "What's wrong?" He asked. Not knowing why she was crying.
She laughed. "Inuyasha," Was all she said as she shook her head. Then she remembered the song. She pulled back enough that she was out of arms reach and looked him in the eyes.
"Inuyasha. Did you understand that song?" She asked. To ask if he heard her would be stupid. Of course he did. Right?
He returned her gaze and the same emotion that was in his eyes the day she left that she couldn't place was still there. "Kagome" He said. "I'm sorry." He said. He didn't know how to explain anything other than to answer one question.
"Kagome, if you needed me, I would be by your side. As you did for me. Forever and Always." He said. She could now place the emotion in his eyes. It wasn't one emotion but a mixture of unfamiliar. Sincerity, caring, compassion, regret, hopefulness and one other. Love. Love was in his eyes. I must be going crazy.
I laughed. "Inuyasha, did you understand that song?" I asked again. I wasn't frustrated with him, he was like a puppy with their head turned sideways in confusion when you asked them to do somethingthat they didn't comprehend.
He nodded. "Kagome I'm sorry that I didn't realise this sooner. I didn't mean for any of this. And I am not very good at saying how I feel but, I'll try to tell you if you would still stand by me." He said. His eyes practically begged me to understand. Hopeful for forgiveness. I giggled and nodded shyly.
"Only if you want me." I said. This was it this was what I needed. To know that I was what he wanted. But this time wouldn't be like the last time, I needed one more thing.
"Kagome. When you were gone, I did some thinking." He said. And I knew what was next would either be what I had hoped to hear or what I had dreaded and feared. "And it took me too long to realise this, but I… I won't be returning" He said. And I felt another tear slip down my face. No matter what he said previously this made me unsure of his intentions.
"I won't be returning to this world to come and get you anymore." He said. And my heart dropped. I could feel it breaking. "Because when I return" He said with a smile on his face, an evil smirk if you want. "I will be bringing you back, to see your family or whatever you do around here. But I will not make you come here alone again, because I need you by my side, and that's where you will stay." He finished.
I ran over to him and hit him on the chest before rapping my arms around him again where he quickly wrapped his arms around me again.
"Ow. What was that for?" He asked.
"You couldn't have phrased that any other way Inuyasha." I said more like a statement than a question. "You made me think you were going to leave me here." I said into his fire rat cloak.
He just chuckled and said something like never. I stayed still and silent for a little while enjoying the moment until anxiety got the best of me.
"What about Kikyo?" I asked. He stiffened at the mention of her name.
Then he let out an exasperated breathe and said "I will not be returning to her anymore. Or at least I hope not to. If I do you will be coming with me these times. To show you that I only talk with her. Nothing more. I don't owe her anything because I only owe myself happiness. I tried to give her that but she can't move on so I'm done. I didn't ever bring you before because she could easily manipulate your emotions or harm you and I wouldn't be able to stop her. Kagome for too long I was unclear of my feelings but just so you know, I understand how I feel know. I couldn't be myself with Kikyo around but I can with you. And Kagome I don't just want you around because you allow me to be myself because for you, I would try to change the world but because you make me want to be myself. And to be the best me I can be." He finished.
I smiled into his chest and hugged him tighter. With a small mumble I let go the last thing I felt. But I wasn't really letting go after all. I was embracing this last feeling, setting it free and putting it out in the open.
"I love you" I said.
"I love you too Kagome" He said and he tightened his grip on me. "And I want you to be with me. And when Naraku is defeated I will treat you the way you should be treated, as you deserve because I want you to be happy. And Kagome?" He said.
"Mhmm" I mumbled into his chest. I knew where this was going. That last thing he said implied a few things, a future together, marriage, me living in his era, us being together side by side forever and always.
"Marry me? When everything is done. And stay by me. Forever and Always?" He asked as if he were unsure.
"Forever and Always" I said to not only reassure him but to assure me. Everything was out in the open, everything was settled and now we only had to move forward. Look back on the happy memories but never regret any of the past.
He took my hand and we walked back to the well but one last thing entered my mind that he never did answer.
"The song Inuyasha?" I asked.
He didn't have to look me in the eyes as he spoke because I could feel his understanding.
"Things were going good but I messed up and you would leave. You would wait for me to come but I hadn't yet. You were upset when you were here and I was there. You were reminiscing about when we promised forever and always. You would say somethings that got me thinking and I didn't like it so I avoided talking but really Kagome a 'scared little pup'? He asked and I chuckled. I thought it was funny.
"Not talking bothered you even more and you never knew what we were or if I cared what we were. And by the way, when I said forever and always I meant it. And when I say forever and always I will Always mean it." He said and he smiled at me as we climbed into the well.
I nodded to myself. "Forever and Always" I said before we crossed over from my world to our world.
Hoped you liked, let me know if you did or didn't. :)
-Animeloverly31 ;) 3