Hermione Granger had known Luna Potter nee Lovegood for over eleven years, and she believed that she knew the woman well, but she couldn't believe her choice of appearance when she opened the door of her home. "Luna! Where are your clothes?!" She asked, blushing brightly at her naked friend. It was a Luna thing that she never understood.
"Hello Hermione. Harry and I were just tanning in the garden. I jumped to answer the door. Please, come in." Luna brought her out to the back garden. Harry was in a sun lounger, relaxing in a pair of shorts and his sunglasses. "Harry, Mione's here." She called out to her husband.
Harry groaned slightly, moving his head. "Mione. For the first time in three months Xeno has taken the twins." He sighed, sitting up. "It's my day off. What's up?" He asked, playing with his hair a little. Harry had worked as an Auror for five years after the war, retiring after he lost the vision in his left eye. He didn't wear a magical eye like Mad-Eye used to, instead he chose to hide the white pupil eye under a pair of sunglasses in the summer. He was mostly a stay at home father these days, occasionally moonlighting as a Private Detective with Ron and Neville.
Hermione sat on one of the lawn chairs. "I just came over to see how you guys are." She said, her eyes not showing their usual cheeriness.
Harry frowned a little under his glasses. He knew when Hermione was lying to him. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, pouring her a glass of iced tea. Hermione had been a constant in his life after the war ended. Her womb had been made inhospitable by the poison of Bellatrix Lestrange's blade, so she spent a lot of time with her niece and nephew to compensate for her lack of children.
"Ron and I had another fight." Hermione shrugged, taking a sip of the iced tea. She hadn't been having the best time with her husband lately. "We've discovered that although…I can't bare children, my fallopian tubes are still producing eggs." She whispered softly. "We've been trying to find a surrogate, but he's refusing all the applicants. So I told him to…well let's just say that I said some terrible things about him."
Harry chuckled slightly at that. Hermione's tongue was known for its razor sharp ability to turn men into snivelling children. "You're more than welcome to spend the night here with us if you want." He offered.
Luna had been relaxing on her sun lounger, nodding her head. "It would be nice to have a woman to have around for the night."
Hermione still couldn't look at Luna without blushing. "Seriously woman, can you put on some bloody clothes?" She asked, shaking her head at Luna's relaxing attitude.
"I don't like tan lines, Hermione. And my husband doesn't either." Luna smirked a little to herself. She had her usual dreamy smile on and a pair of her signature radish earrings in.
Harry chuckled a little, smiling over at his wife. "Luna, don't tease Hermione like that." He scolded her a little. He took his sunglasses on, placing his old eyeglasses back on. "Who did you choose?"
"Well we were going to ask Ginny. I mean her family has a history of amazing fertility." Hermione sighed. "She flat out refused because of her fallout with Ron a few years ago." She explained, taking another sip of her iced tea. "This is really good."
"It's whiskey, vodka and a little rum." Luna chuckled, finishing her glass. "Harry and I rarely have a night to get drunk anymore."
Hermione usually would've spit out, but she needed a drink anyways. "Well, after that we went through some people who were supposedly good candidates, but he refused every one of them. She's too heavy. She's too old." She huffed. "I don't know what to do…"
"Why didn't you just come to us?" Luna asked her, sipping her drink. "I've a womb that's doing nothing and Harry's supposedly your brother in all but blood. Yet you went to your husband's family and not to yours." She said dreamily, sitting up properly. "I'm only twenty-six, Hermione. I was seventeen when I had the twins nine years ago. I missed the Hogwarts age by one bloody week. I'm the same age as Harry and a year older than Ginerva. I couldn't be your surrogate no bloody problem!"
Hermione watched the two of them for a moment. How didn't she think of Harry and Luna? From all accounts Luna's pregnancy with the twins was the easiest thing that could have happened to her. She had even gone into labour while making a flower chain for her head. She watched the woman closely. "You'd do that? Give up your chances of drinking and putting your body through that strain?" She asked softly.
Luna nodded. "Of course I would." She whispered, smiling at her. "I love to help people, Hermione. Nine months of me not drinking is nothing." She assured her. "Don't get me wrong, three months of no sex and then a further six to eight weeks of having stitches aren't exactly appealing, but you and Ron deserve to start a family."
Hermione sniffled a little, hugging her friend. She knew that Luna was naked, but she couldn't give a crap at the moment. "Thank you so much, Luna."
Harry smirked a little to himself. "If only it wasn't Hermione hugging my naked wife, then I'd have a lovely day."
Hermione huffed. "Am I not attractive enough for you, Mr. Potter?"
"Well you would be, but you also considerate me your brother." Harry chuckled. "So unless you've decided to get extremely kinky in the bedroom, not gonna happen." He sipped his iced tea.
-Five months later-
Hermione had become a regular person in the Potter household once Luna had announced her pregnancy. That had been three months ago and Hermione had started to almost become a shadow for her blonde friend. She had gotten used to some of Luna's quirkier traits. She watched as the blonde in question was sitting on her husband's lap, watching a nature documentary. "Amazing creatures, aren't they?" She asked, watching in wonder.
Hermione agreed. The dolphins in the documentary were beautiful creatures and she was entranced by their movements. She watched Harry and Luna cuddling on the sofa, and felt a small pang of jealousy. Even though they were soon to be parents, Ron was still being extremely distant to her. She hadn't bothered to voice any of her complaints to her friends, since she didn't want to stress them out. She watched Luna's stomach intently, seeing the tiny bump. "Luna. Do you always watch nature documentaries in his lap?"
Luna nodded. "It started about six years ago. Harry and I were browsing through the channels and he was having a down day." 'Down days' were days when Harry's depression started to affect him. Hermione had only seen one, and it had been a bad one. "I sat on his lap just as a documentary on puppies came on, and he loved it. So when we ended up having a good night from it…we just made it a little thing."
Harry smiled slightly, kissing her cheek. In all honesty, he hated nature documentaries. He despised most television if he was being truly honest. But they made Luna smile. He wrapped his arms around her gently, playing with her stomach as carefully as he could. He had missed out on all of this when Luna was pregnant on the twins, but he liked the chance of playing with her stomach every chance he got. "Usually it's done with less clothing, but the kids are upstairs." He smirked.
Hermione rolled her eyes. She was sure at this point that Luna was definitely a closeted nudist or a voyeurist. Luna Potter seemed to just love one thing, being in the nip. "You two are like teenagers! Honestly, how haven't you got a bloody army of kids?"
Harry's face dropped a little at that. Luna didn't need to see her husband's face to know something was wrong with him. She snuggled in closer to him, kissing his cheek. "Harry can't have anymore children, Hermione." She said softly, her voice usually lucid sounding. "When our brave Harry took the Killing Curse from Voldemort, it came at a price."
Harry gently played with her hair. "My testicles are gone, Hermione. I had to have them removed when the war ended. Necrosis set in as my payment for surviving another Killing Curse." He turned to her. "I got prosthetics and Moonbeam and I understood that the twins would be our only natural born children. We've Teddy too, who's basically our son." He smiled softly. "That's why we're helping you, Mione. I understand what's it like to feel like a spare prick."
Hermione snorted at his choice of language. It was probably the right choice of words for him. She kissed his cheek. "You're still a good prick to me." She teased, smiling at him.
Harry chuckled a little, wrapping his free arm around her. "I'm sure this is some perverted guy's idea of heaven." He relaxed his head against the cushions. "That's an ugly looking dolphin." He cocked his head to the side.
Luna would usually disagree, but she couldn't this time. "It looks like it smashed into a wall."
Hermione went to open her mouth. "Oh sweet Jesus! How is it still moving?"
Harry smiled to himself. "How's things with Ron?" He asked. "I may be blind in one eye, Mione, but I can see the signs. You've extra eyeliner on. Lipstick. Rouge and blush. You probably told him you were going to a club!"
Hermione frowned. "Stop deducing me!" She pouted. "He's being distant lately…" She leaned into his shoulder a little. "It's hard, you know…sometimes I feel like he blames me for not being able to carry our child." She felt tears coming to her eyes. "It feels so unreal-" She was cut off by Luna putting her hand on her small bump.
"This is your child, Hermione Weasley." Luna whispered softly. "This little bundle of joy is your little baby." She smiled softly, feeling Harry's encouraging touch on her arm. "My husband tends to be a bit of a…in his own words, a depressing prick."
Harry snorted a little.
"But he's my depressing prick. The best thing to do is just to speak to Ron and see what he's feeling. If that doesn't work, then you should really just hire Harry to spy on him." Luna teased, smiling at her friend.
Hermione smiled at Luna, seeing the loving way her and Harry acted. Harry had always amazed her in that sense. He'd confided in her years ago about his childhood, and seeing the way he had moved past it and how he flourished as a father really proved her friend had really matured into a man who she couldn't believe was the same boy with broken glasses she met on the train. "I just may have to take you up on that offer." She closed her eyes, relaxing against Harry's shoulder.
-Four months later (Seventh month)-
Luna groaned as she tried to stand up for the fifth time. Her stomach had swelled out a lot more than on her pregnancy with the twins,which was odd considering there was only a single girl was currently within her womb. She saw Hermione giggling a little. "Keep that up and I'll show you the damage a size six can do to your bony ass." She warned, though her voice was still dreamy and soft. She managed to get up, waddling her way towards the bathroom.
Hermione smiled a little, sitting on the counter of Harry's kitchen. "This is probably the nicest Christmas I've had in a long time. Thanks for inviting my parents." She hadn't left Harry or Luna's side for the whole party. The twins were sitting on the sofa, their eyes struggling to stay awake as they watched a movie with her parents and Xeno.
Harry shrugged a little, pouring her a glass of wine. "Not a problem. It's our year anyway to host the party, so I thought the soon-to-be grandparents should be here to celebrate with the rest of the family." He grinned, chopping some onions.
Hermione had grown accustomed to Harry's amazing cooking skills over the last few months. She had been amazed how domesticated her best friend became. He could sew, cook, clean and do anything that was required to keep the house in order. Luna was always writing for the Quibbler, or taking a couple of weeks to head out with Rolf Scamander to find magical creatures. Hermione didn't like Rolf. He seemed to always criticise Harry and the twins, as if they were a deterrent for Luna's zoology antics. "You're sweet." She said softly, watching him mix the ingredients. "Harry, who the hell will eat anything at 11pm?"
"Luna." Was his simple reply. "My darling wife has an appetite that would currently rival your husband's." He placed the items on a baking tray.
"What are you making?" She asked, confused by the different things. Hermione was a lot like Ron at times, she didn't like to experiment with her food. She preferred her food to be plain and knowable.
"This? Well Luna can't really eat deli meats, so I'm making mini meatballs wrapped in dough and baked in the oven for twenty minutes. I pre-cooked the meatballs to the point that the dough and the meat will be perfectly done in the oven. Then I have a marinara sauce just simmering here, with basil, oregano, crushed garlic, some salt and pepper." He smiled a little, placing the meat filled dough in the oven. "They'll be like tiny beef wellingtons, except minced and fully cooked. Can't be too careful when it comes to pregnant women." He winked, grabbing a couple of platters.
Hermione watched Luna sit back down with the twins, resting Lily's head on her lap, while James had his head on her shoulder. "Your kids are just perfect." She said softly, sipping her wine. "They're a credit to you and Luna."
Harry smiled. "I'm glad you think so." He took out some homemade pastries, piping them with cream and jam. He dusted them with powdered sugar, offering one to Hermione.
"My parents will kill you for making so many sweet things." She chuckled, taking a small bite of her cream donut. "Hmm." She loved cream donuts, they were her personal weakness. "Why didn't I marry you?"
"You considered me a brother and married my best friend." He reminded her with a smile, winking slightly. He brought some snacks to the adults in the sitting room, returning to the kitchen. He and Hermione were always hanging around in the kitchen, mostly because it was Harry's favourite room in the house. "That, and well, it'd be a bit awkward considering I'm married to Luna." He teased.
Hermione took a spoon of cream, flicking it onto his nose.
"Hey!" Harry laughed, grabbing the piping bag full of jam and chasing her with it.
"Harry Potter I will kill you!" She warned him, dodging his jam.
Luna chuckled a little, shaking her head. "I don't know who the children are here. Those two or the twins." She said softly, stroking her daughter's hair.
Mr. Granger shook his head. "You're all still young." He said, watching Luna closely. "You're a good friend to our daughter, Luna. Not many women would've done what you have."
Luna shrugged. "I love helping my friends." She explained, kissing James's forehead. Both of the kids were basically asleep by now, which was typical for them. "Harry, take the twins to their rooms." She called out gently. She felt her eye twitch a little as Harry walked in covered in cream and sugar.
"No problem. I'm going to grab a shower while I'm at it." He chuckled.
Luna watched him leave, staring at Hermione. "Use the guest bathroom. You can borrow some of my old clothes." She said, noticing her hair had been dyed red from the jam. "You look like a Weasley now!" She teased.
Hermione stuck her tongue out at her, heading to the spare bathroom. She washed and dressed really quickly, heading back down. When she did, she notice Ron was swaying slightly. She sighed to herself, helping him up. "I should take him home."
"Stick him in the guest room." Harry said, coming down topless. "Sorry, clothes are in." He grinned to the guests. "Stick Ronnie boy in the guest room. You two can spend the night. The twins can share a room tonight so your parents can stay too." He looked to Luna.
Luna smiled. "It would be nice to have a full house."
Xenophilius smiled at his daughter. "Kind of like the old days in your grandfather's house. Just packed with family."
Luna nodded. "Yeah." She said fondly, gently playing with her stomach. "And Hermione's going to have her daughter for next Christmas."
Mrs. Granger felt another smile come to her face. "Yeah. I still can't believe our little Mione's going to be a mother."
Hermione rolled her eyes a little. "Mother, I'm nearly thirty."
Harry put his hands on his ears. "No. No one's nearly thirty. Shh!"
Luna rolled her eyes. "Grow old gracefully, my love." She shook her head. She had married an idiot, but he was her idiot.
-D-Day aka Labour-
Hermione had been ushered into the room with Luna and Harry. She couldn't believe Luna was in labour, mostly because her face was one of bliss and relaxation. "Always when I'm making flower chains." She chuckled, placing it on her forehead. She put one on Hermione's and one on Harry's.
Harry kissed her hand, sitting on one side of the bed. "Could be worse, you could've forgotten your earrings this time." He chuckled, kissing her forehead gently.
Hermione watched them carefully. "Are you in pain? Do I need to get you some ice chips? Where's the doctor?" She asked, becoming panicked.
Luna blinked at her. "I'm fine. I'm fine. He's on the way." She said, shaking her head. "Sit down, Hermione. Take deep breaths and relax." She rolled her eyes.
Hermione did as she said, keeping her eyes on her. "How are you so calm? I was with Ginny when she had Nathaniel, and she was a bloody wreck." She whispered.
Luna chuckled. "Ginny does have a flair for dramatics though, Mione. I think she just enjoys scaring men." She winced a little. "Ooh, contraction." She gripped Harry's hand gently. "So, this is a good time to discuss payment."
Hermione's eyes widened. "What?" She and Ron had put most their life savings into the surrogacy.
Luna grit her teeth slightly. "I'm thinking two litres of vodka. One litre of rum and a bottle of that fancy ass champagne your parents got you for your engagement party." She groaned. "That was a big one."
Hermione chuckled a little to herself. "Sounds fair to me." She promised her, taking her free hand. "If anything, I should be naming my daughter after you."
"Please don't." Luna begged her. "I actually hate my name. I wish I had a regular name, like Samantha, or Cleopatra."
Hermione wanted to point out to that Cleopatra wasn't a normal name, but her friend was currently giving birth to her child. "Rebecca, that's what I wanted my name to be."
"Hadrian." Harry chuckled. "That's my legally given name. It was my dad's idea, so I ended up being Harry for short."
After a couple of hours of just chatting to keep Luna relaxed, the doctor announced that it was time to push. Harry had spoken constant words of encouragement and love, which touched Hermione just as much as it touched Luna. Hermione just told her that she was her closest friend in the world and that she loved her completely. It took another two hours and a lot of encouragement before the sounds of a crying baby were heard in the room.
Hermione stared at the little tuft of red hair that appeared from the blanket. Her breath hitched as she looked at her daughter. Harry had placed the baby in her arms, while Luna gripped his arm to sit up a little.
Luna just smiled at her friend. "Believe me, that love is going to be eternal." She whispered softly, feeling Harry's arm on her back to support her.
Hermione nodded, not really hearing what her friend had said. She kissed the baby's forehead, sniffling slightly. "Hello. I know your name right now…you're my little Rosie." She smiled, turning to the Potters. "Thank you so much." She felt tears begin to fall from her cheeks.
Harry set Luna down, leaving the room and returning with Ron. The new parents sat beside their friends, cooing to their sleeping daughter.
A/N: This plot had been swimming around in my head for a long time. It is a part of what I call the 'Radish Universe' which is basically a collection of oneshots at this point. I hope you all enjoyed this more Mione centric entry.
