The Loss of a Friend is Never Easy

A sigh of relief leaves her as she hauls her backpack with her over the edge of the well. It had been over a month since she had last been home. Inuyasha had picked up on Naraku's scent the day she had originally planned to head home, so she had stayed to help her friends track down the foul demon. They spent days chasing his trail to no avail; they still could not find Naraku's castle. On their way back to Kaede's village they had been ambushed multiple times by demons who wanted the jewel. Kagome presumed that many of them were sent by Naraku to distract them while he made his escape. By the time they made it back to the village, everyone was exhausted from their constant travelling. Not even Inuyasha had protested when she had proposed a break so everyone could rest while she went home.

She glanced down at her clothes and sighed unhappily. Her shirt was no longer white to say the least. The fabric was so discolored that it was more of sickly yellow than white. Her skirt was no better; the rich green pigment of the fabric had faded and was covered in stains and dirt. She really needed to figure out something more durable to wear while she was in the Feudal Era instead of constantly wrecking her school uniforms. She glanced at her backpack and realized that the yellow bag was in even worse shape than her clothing. All the times it had been thrown around and unceremoniously dropped to the ground had taken its toll. It looked even rattier than her clothes. She feels her mood drop while she stares and contemplates her destroyed possessions, so she pulls her bag on to her back, brushes herself off and climbs the stairs to the door of the well house.

When she opens the big double doors, the miserable weather takes her by surprise. It had been sunny when she had jumped down the well. It was unusual to see such a difference in the weather even if the two times were five hundred years apart and it made no sense for the weather to correlate. She can smell the moisture in the air and as soon as she steps out of the shelter of the well house, it starts to rain. The water is frigid against her skin and she yelps in surprise. Kagome pulls her bag up so it's covering her head and bolts towards the house, having no desire to get wet. Even though her clothes are just a little damp, she still feels the chill even after she has taken shelter inside.

"Kagome!" Her mother greets her with a smile before her expression quickly changes to something she can't quite read. She watches her mother wring her hands nervously from the entryway to the dining room. "Come sit down dear, I have something to tell you." Kagome frowns. Her mother's tone is off. She sets her bag down in the entry and takes off her shoes slowly. She doesn't know why, but dread has settled in her stomach. She frowns, but follows her mom silently into the dining room. She waits for her mom to sit before gingerly taking a seat. She wonders what the heck is going on. Her mother takes her hands gently.

"Kagome, last week there was a tragic accident..."Her mom pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing, "Your friend Eri was killed."

For a moment, she is stunned, unable to process what she has just been told. She sits in silence, mulling over the words in her head. Her first reaction is that it can't be true. It has to be some type of sick joke that her friends thought up to punish her for being away so much, but one look at her mother's crestfallen face tells her that it's true. Oh god. In that moment, she breaks. A sob rips from her throat and tears well in her eyes. All at once she is hit with the harsh reality that her friend is gone and she is never going to be able to see her again. She weeps into her mother's arms as she tries to come to terms with everything all at once. Kagome hasn't even acknowledged the sadness yet, but she dreads the moment she does. She just clings to her mother as she continues to cry, the words in her head blurring together until she is unable to think about anything properly.

It seems like it's been hours when she can no longer cry. Her body is too exhausted to be able to anymore. She slowly pulls away and wipes her face of the remaining tears. Her mother watches her with concerned eyes.

"Kagome…."

"I think I'm going to go rest now." Her voice is barely a whisper. She feels like part of her has died and, in a way, it has. She feels numb to everything. Kagome is barely able to muster the strength to climb up the stairs to her room, but when she does eventually reach it, she walks in and falls into an unceremonious heap on her bed. She doesn't have the strength to care about how dirty she is or how she is tracking her filth with her. For a while, she just stares blankly at the wall, unable to think, unable to care. At some point or another, exhaustion finally takes its toll on her and she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

"Inuyasha, I'm worried about Kagome. She should be back by now." The little fox jumps up on his friend's shoulder and stares at him expectantly. Inuyasha was the only one who could do anything about Kagome's absences since no one else from their era could travel between the different times. Shippo wished that he could go see Kagome in her world, but no matter how hard he tried, the well would only let Inuyasha through. When Inuyasha doesn't respond right away, Shippo pokes his cheek in hopes of getting a reaction. He is not disappointed when the thoughtful look on the hanyou's face is replaced by a deep scowl.

"I know runt." Inuyasha growls as he turns his head to glare at the child. Shippo protests when Inuyasha swats him off his shoulder and jumps up again only to have the irate hanyou grab him by the tail. "Fuck off Shippo." The fox takes his verbal warning more seriously than his physical warnings and scampers off towards the village when his tail is released. Inuyasha goes back to his thoughts once he is sure that Shippo hadn't just gone to go complain about his mistreatment then come back with an angry human in tow.

His worry for Kagome had only increased over the last day. Kagome had said she would be back in a day, but it had now been three days. He had asked Sango the day before if he should go get her, but the demon slayer had told him that Kagome probably had something that had come up in her world that needed to be dealt with. Both Sango and Miroku had told him to be patient and wait for her to come back, but his patience is wearing thin and his worry was increasing. He didn't like her world, it was too loud, it reeked of pollution and his instincts tell him to be on high alert for danger when he is there. He worries that something has happened to her and that is the reason that he tells himself when he decides that he is going to go see what is taking her so long. He tells himself that his yearning to see her has nothing to do with the peace that she gives him or the affection he feels for her.

He leaves his perch at Goshinboku and takes off at a run. It'll take him two minutes at most to reach the well. The scenery is a blur as he runs, his feet taking him to where he wants to go without much thought. He has run the path to the well so many times that he could probably do it in his sleep. As predicted, it takes him no time at all to reach the clearing that holds the well. He jumps into the old structure and watches the blue and pink light that he has come to associate with time travel envelop him. When his feet touch the ground, there is no blue sky overhead. The smells of Kagome's time assault his sensitive nose and he sneezes. He has to wait for his nose to adjust. When he is finally able to sift through the multitude of smells in the air, he knows he doesn't have to bother tracking Kagome down; he can tell from the pungency of her scent that she is nearby. He heads to her room first, knowing that she will most likely be there. He is not disappointed.

He is not expecting the overwhelming scents of tears and sadness that hit him as he opens her window. His concern immediately skyrockets. His eyes search for her location and he is relieved when he spots her; she is curled up under her blankets and facing the wall. He jumps down from her windowsill and approaches her bed cautiously. He wonders why she is crying and shaking like a leaf. He contemplates saying something to her, but he isn't quite sure what. Her tears make him uncomfortable because all he wants to do is make her stop crying, no matter what it takes. She startles him when she speaks.

"What do you want Inuyasha?" Her voice is hoarse from crying, but she still manages something of an exasperated tone. "If all you want to do is take me back, you can go away."

He frowns. Out of all the greetings he had gotten from her in the past, he had never heard her use this tone with him. "What happened? Who do I have to kill?" He is dead serious. He wants to know what happened to make his friend break down like this. He would do anything for her and he would kill anyone who harmed her without a second thought. He reaches out and gently touches her shoulder. She stills under his hand, but the shaking returns again shortly. He goes to pull his hand away when he hears Kagome speak again, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"Please stay with me Inuyasha." He would have just told himself he was imagining things if not for the fact he was certain he had heard her clearly. He just freezes in place, not really sure what to do. Kagome turns to face him before slowly reaching up and grabbing his hand and tugging lightly. He doesn't fight her and lies down beside her on the bed, but he stays on top of the blankets. He is tense and unsure while Kagome arranges herself beside him with her head resting against his chest. He only relaxes when he hears her breathing even out. Inuyasha hesitates for a moment before wrapping his arms around Kagome. She hadn't told him what had happened, but he supposed it could wait until tomorrow.

He has never woken up with someone in his arms before. He's surprised at how much he enjoys the feeling of Kagome's head on his chest and his arms around her. Unfortunately, his enjoyment is cut short by the scent of fresh tears. He nuzzles the top of her head and strokes her hair softly, hoping that something he does helps her to stop crying.

"You going to tell me what's wrong wench?" He keeps his tone soft even though his words are less than eloquent. She sniffles, burying her face deeper into his warm haori. She has to try to pull herself together. His current demeanor was so different than his usual behavior just so he could comfort her. Inuyasha was being so patient with her and she couldn't help but be grateful. She was a wreck and she knew it. Between the lack of sleep and the constant plague of emotions, she been just shy of vicious when Inuyasha had shown up yesterday, but his presence and caring had calmed her somewhat. Just having him with her helped her emotional state even if he didn't have a clue as to what happened. It was amazing though; last night had been the first time she had actually been able to sleep soundly since she had found out about her friend's death and it was all thanks to him agreeing to stay by her side. She was amazed that he hadn't tried to get out of the situation really, but she supposed she ought to give him more credit. She grabbed the red cloth of his haori tightly and hung onto it as she inhaled, gathering the courage to tell him what tears at her heart.

"The day I came back through the well, I found out…." While her voice had been quiet, she had managed to get the first part of her sentence out before her brief determination faltered along with her voice. She had to fight back a fresh wave of tears. "I found out a friend of mine had been k-killed." It was the first time that she had actually admitted what had happened out loud. The harsh truth hit her again, forcing her to face reality rather than ignoring what her brain had been trying to get her to accept. She started sobbing again, the grief ripping its way through her. Hearing the admission fall from her lips had affirmed what she had been denying to acknowledge since the initial delivery of the bad news.

Inuyasha held Kagome awkwardly, not really sure how to react. He had felt grief, but only once before, when his mother had died. He had never had friends, so he didn't know what the death of a friend would do to someone, but the sheer thought of losing one of his friends to death made him feel sick. He could only imagine what she was going through. He knew that if he spoke, he would probably make her more upset since he didn't really know how to properly console someone who was suffering through that great of a loss. He ignored all the things he could say to try and help the situation and smartly opted to just hold her against his chest while she cried. It made him sad to see her like this.

Kagome's mother found them in the same position about an hour later. She had gone to check on her daughter like she had done for the last three days. Kagome's behavior worried her, she had stopped eating and she was barely drinking. She realized how much of a shock it had been to Kagome and she knew how much it had hurt to lose a close friend in such a tragic accident, but she knew if her daughter didn't snap out of her state of self neglect, she could seriously harm herself. It was a relief to see Inuyasha holding the young woman firmly against his chest. Kagome was asleep again, but from her mother was able to tell, her sleep was more peaceful than it had been the last few days. Inuyasha's golden eyes meet hers. There's a fierce protectiveness in those golden depths that allows her to trust the hanyou with her daughter. The look had been there from the moment she had met Inuyasha, but it had been much fainter back then. It had grown until that protectiveness, along with adoration, was always in his gaze when he looked at Kagome.

"She hasn't been eating since she got back; can you try to convince her to when she wakes up?" She keeps her voice low so she doesn't wake Kagome, knowing how much she needs these times of deep, restful sleep. Inuyasha's eyes narrow, but he nods.

He waits until he hears Kagome's mother head down the stairs before he allows his emotions to brew. What was she thinking by not eating? By now it would mean that she hadn't eaten in three days; no wonder she seemed to lack a substantial amount of energy. Even if grief had taken its toll on her, it was no excuse to not eat. The two of them would have a serious talk when she woke up. He would not have her risking her health because she was sad.

He tries to wait for her to wake up, he really does, but concern for her health prompts him to shake her lightly. "Kagome." She doesn't stir. He shakes her again, using a bit more force this time. "Kagome, come on. Wake up." He growls when she still doesn't wake. He knows she's alive from the steady breaths coming from her, but she's showing no signs of rousing. He frowns, his brows furrowing together. He hopes she is just in a really deep sleep and that nothing else is amiss. "Oi wench! Wake the hell up already!" he shouts into her ear, hoping the loud noise will startle her awake. Panic rises in his chest when she doesn't react. He doesn't know what's wrong. He doesn't know how to get her to wake up. He starts to move away when her hand suddenly grips his shirt tighter. Relief crashes down on him like a tidal wave when he hears her groan unhappily. She may not be in the best condition, but at least he was just over reacting.

Waking up to Inuyasha yelling in her ear was not a pleasant experience. Her sleep had been so deep that she had not dreamed. She had been so exhausted when she had drifted off that she had been completely unaware of the outside world until she had been woken up. Kagome feels Inuyasha start to pull away from her and automatically tightens her grip on his haori. The mere thought of him moving from her side fills her with terror. She groans and slowly opens her eyes. It's too bright for her eyes to adjust immediately, so she turns and presses her face against the closest object that could prevent light from reaching her eyes, which happens to be Inuyasha. She grumbles, letting herself rest for a minute before flopping on to her back. She feels so weak that she doubts she would be able to stand up even if she tried. She opens her eyes again and lets them adjust even if it would be easier to just go back to sleep.

"Kagome, you need to eat." Inuyasha's tone leaves no room for argument. Food hadn't even crossed her mind over the last few days. She had been so consumed with her grief that she had only considered eating a handful of times, but had always decided against it. She had been worried that she would just throw up any food she did try to eat. Her stomach gargled loudly as if it was agreeing with the hanyou's statement. She turns her thoughts to the state of her emotions before agreeing to eat though. The pain is still there, but instead of the gaping hole that had been there, there was now a dull ache, like a wound that was slowly turning into a scar.

"Alright," she murmurs, "I'll eat." Inuyasha looks relieved when she states this. "But," she continues, "You're going to have to carry me. I don't have the strength to walk." He scoffs at her, and she scowls at him the best as she can. He chuckles.

"I think you're even less threatening than a fly right now." He barks at her to provoke her. She continues to scowl at him while he rolls away so he can get up. He miscalculates where the edge of the bed is though and lands with a loud thump on the floor. There's a stunned silence for a moment, both of them taking a second to realize what just happened. Suddenly, the air is filled with Kagome's laughter and Inuyasha's colorful language. She momentarily forgets the pain while she laughs at the actions of the hanyou who is now glaring daggers in her direction. The annoyance in his gaze quickly morphs into mischief; he's relieved that Kagome is too busy laughing to notice. He picks himself off the floor and scoops her up without warning, blankets and all and throws her over his shoulder.

"Put me down Inuyasha!" She yells, startled. He just shifts her so she's resting against his shoulder in a better position and leaves her bedroom to head downstairs. She doesn't really have the strength to physically protest though. It's her turn to glare daggers at him now. He pretends he doesn't notice. He deposits her in the living room without another word and disappears into the kitchen. She wonders what he's doing. Her question is answered not long after when he brings out a bowl of soup and gives it to her.

"Your mother made it for you. Eat up wench; you need to get your strength back." She would have promptly told him to screw off except the tone of his voice was caring. She knew he wasn't trying to be a jerk about it. He sits down beside her while she eats her soup, allowing her to lean against him.

"Thank you for this Inuyasha." She whispers quietly to him. As long as he stays with her, she's sure she'll be alright, even if the pain is still there.

A/N.

For those of you who have read some of my other stories, you know that my author's notes are usually jovial or sarcastic. Not today unfortunately. I actually put a great deal of effort into this story as a way to cope with my current situation and I hope you all can appreciate it.

A week ago today, a friend of mine lost his life in a tragic rock climbing accident. I am still grieving his loss and I have put some of my grief in to this story because I needed to try to express that pain somehow. I tried my hardest to convey how much the loss of a dear friend hurts. Taylor was far too young to die. He would have been nineteen in November. I will miss him more than any words can convey, but I want to move past this stifling pain in my chest and cherish the beauty of the memories he gave me.

Cherish your friends while you have them.

Sincerely,

Druneia Serai