How could one insignificant piece of paper completely throw my life into an unrecognizable tailspin? Did that leech really think he was doing me a favor? When I started running I didn't know when or where Bella would marry her bloodsucker and to be honest I didn't want to. All I wanted was to run; to exist in a form that didn't hurt so much. I wanted to get away.

It was early August now and the warmth of the summer had begun to blend nicely with the heat generated by my strained muscles. I had ended up in some part of Canada and had no intention of returning anytime soon. The pack had been trying to get me to go home everyday since I left. My pack brothers just wanted me to go home, heck even Leah's thoughts were remorseful for the things she said on the cliff the day I left. I was refusing though. I was strictly following instincts when any other pack member was in wolf form. The guys just made me think of Bella and that hurt too bad.

Seth hurt worse than the others. He was friends with him. How he could befriend any vampire was baffling enough but that leech was over the top. It annoyed me to no end that he was friends with Edward. I hated that Bella kept asking about me. I didn't want to think about her and knowing that she was still worrying about me was killing me on the inside. Some part of Bella Swan still loved me but it would never be enough. Not for her, not for me, not for us. There would never be an "us" again.

The pack had been overly careful with their thoughts for the last week. It finally slipped one night though. Leah was on patrol by herself and she was pissed, not that Leah's sour disposition was uncommon. She was consumed with her normal tyrannical thoughts. This time all venom was aimed toward Seth. I don't think she even realized what she was thinking about until it was too late but once it was out there was no going back. Seth had been invited to Bella's wedding. He had accepted the invitation and the next day at twilight he and Sue were going to sit there and watch the love of my life marry the love of hers. The agonizing howls burst out of me like they never had before when I pieced together Leah's frazzled thoughts. The time had come. There was no going back. No changing her mind now. In less than twenty-four hours Bella would be a married vampire-to-be. Leah immediately realized what she had done and a steady stream of apologies ran through her head. I couldn't do anything but lie down and let the depression take me.

Eventually, after the boarders of La Push were secured, Leah phased back and I was left alone with my misery. My whimpering slowed as I slipped into the deepest sleep that I had experienced since my departure from La Push.

I was standing there dressed in a black tuxedo, every around me was dressed up as well and a beautiful faceless girl was walking toward me wearing a white dress. The slow movement of the mystery screamed of apprehension. Then I saw where I was. I stood next to the leech, a groomsman in his wedding. The expression on his face was nothing if not smug. The entire pack, as well as most of La Push was in attendance. These were the people I had grown up and lived with my entire life and they were at Edwards wedding. Edward was the only vampire present. I was bothered that the usually overwhelming sickly sweet stench of bloodsucker hadn't assaulted senses.

As the bride got closer a face began to form. It wasn't anyone I had ever seen before. Even though I didn't know the girl I still loved her. Odd but true. How cruel could this world be that even fictional girls from my imagination turned out to be leach-lovers?

As the girl and Edward stood in front of the minister his face said everything. He couldn't get any happier than he was at that moment. Edward said his vows, his eyes never leaving her shockingly beautiful face. I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off of the woman either. All I wanted to do was scream out that I loved this woman. She was short with shoulder length light brown hair which had subtle blonde highlights running through it. She had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen and her pale skin looked delicate, fragile almost. As Edward finished his vows I looked down to see that my arms had unconsciously wrapped themselves around my torso, a habit that Bella often exhibited during her extended separation from her favorite bloodsucker. I suddenly understood her feelings. She was holding the shattered pieces of herself together. As the minister started her vows the bride simply and silently turned and sauntered down the aisle as if she were walking through the park. I turned back to witness Edward's reaction. All I could see was him, lying on the ground silently, and tearlessly, weeping. It was my turn to sport a smug expression.

When I woke up I was greeted by the bright afternoon sun which could only mean one thing. Bella would only be a Swan for a few more hours. Then she would be a Cullen and I would have lost her forever. No one else was in wolf form which I was thankful for. It left me open to think. No matter how instinctual I tried to be when other members of the pack phased, when it was just me I couldn't help but to let my mind wander, back to the best days, the days with Bella and me hanging out in the garage, days where there was nothing better than riding our motorcycle through La Push back roads. I would think back to the days when I was Bella's sun and a future seemed real.

Sometime during the night Sam, Quil, and Seth phased for patrol. I'm sure he wasn't meaning to do it but the wedding was clearly on Seth's mind. I couldn't handle it. Even though she looked happy, seeing her in that dress walking straight for her leech was unbearable. Any form would have been better than having to share Seth's thoughts on the wedding. I phased for the first time since leaving home. I spent the rest of the night leaning against a fallen tree, my arms wrapped around my knees. I didn't want to phase back. I couldn't handle Seth's thoughts about how happy Bella and Edward looked or Sam's thoughts filled with sympathy and pity. Even Quil's seemingly neutral thoughts of how adorable Claire was as she played on the merry-go-round that day were driving me insane.

I didn't want to avoid my brothers for forever but I sure wasn't going to be able to deal with them full time yet. Going home would be too hard still I just wanted to be able to stop the hurt that seemed to be so much apart of me now, before I went home. I was going to have to find myself first. Find what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. A post Bella life, what was I going to make of it. I was only positive about one thing; before I was going to be able to get anything else done I was going to have to find pants.