Rick and his boys.
CRACK! Heavy, vicious, delicious crack fiction.
Remember when Ryan and Esposito had that little exchange - "Are Mom and Dad fighting, again?" "Yep."
What if?
"MOM! KEVIN TOOK MY NINTENDO!"
"JAVIER'S TURN ENDED FIVE MINUTES AGO!"
Rick looked across the kitchen at his wife, Kate, ladling tomato sauce onto plates of spaghetti for their family, and raised an eyebrow.
"Alexis! Come down here and separate your brothers before they kill each other!" he called, after Kate steadfastly ignored his gaze. Her head snapped up, though, when Rick called for Alexis.
"Richard Edgar Castle you are not fobbing the boys off onto Alexis again, they are your sons, you have to discipline them."
"But-"
"No buts! Alexis, ignore him." Kate told the seventeen-year-old who had just skipped down the stairs, before pointing the ladle threateningly at her husband. "You lost the other DSi, you deal with the fallout. Go. And make them wash their hands, dinner's ready."
Rick sighed and left the kitchen, clutching his beer like a lifeline as he headed for the source of the raised seven and nine year old voices.
"Guys, come on, Mom made spaghetti."
"But Dad, it's my turn for the Nintendo!" Kevin objected as Rick plucked the DSi out of his hands and pocketed it, trying to turn on his 'Serious Dad' voice.
"I don't care whose turn it is, you're not playing again until after dinner. Go wash your hands, now."
"Dad!" Both voices objected but Rick stopped them short with a stern look, Kevin hung his head and started to shuffle to the door, while Javi's chin jutted out in momentary defiance before he pushed past his brother, racing towards the downstairs bathroom, shutting the door in Kevin's face.
"Dad!" Kevin turned and looked up at his dad, wide blue eyes brimming with tears. It wasn't unusual for Javier to do things like this to his little brother, but Kevin had learned early that his Dad was a sucker for the big eyes and would do just about anything to avoid tears.
"Oh, come here." Rick caught Kevin by the waist, propped him on his hip and carted him into the kitchen, holding the scrawny seven-year-old up over the island bench so that he could reach the faucet and wash his hands. The two of them sat down at the dinner table just as a key scraped in the front door lock, Rick looked up and grinned as the door opened to reveal Martha Rodgers dressed to the nines, pausing to greet her son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren before she left for her gala.
"Good evening, family!"
"Yaya!" Javier didn't even pause as he exited the bathroom, skidding a little on the polished boards he raced towards his grandmother, coming to an unsteady stop directly in front of her - he knew better than to fling himself onto Yaya when she was in such a pretty dress, especially with wet hands.
"You look beautiful tonight, Yaya." He told her, turning on the charm as best he could manage, hands clasped at the small of his back as he half-bowed towards his grandmother in greeting.
"And you, Javier, look handsome as always." Martha bent down, not too far, Javier was going through a growth spurt and was almost as tall as his grandmother, now, and kissed his cheek as Kevin wriggled out of his seat and thundered over to get his goodnight kiss, too.
Alexis was a little more restrained, but reassured her grandmother that she looked amazing, before shepherding the boys back towards the table.
"Oh, am I interrupting dinner? I'm just passing through, the car should be here soon-"
"Oh, it's fine, Martha-" Kate started, just as Rick began to speak.
"Mother, you know you're always welcome-"
"Hush, both of you. I'll call you when I get home, Richard. You have a good quiet night, Kate. Alexis, are we still on for shopping tomorrow?" Once Alexis nodded, Martha turned her attention back to her grandsons. "You two be good, okay? I know your summer vacation starts tomorrow and you're going to be spending your days with Daddy while Mom is at work, so behave yourselves."
"We will, Yaya." They chorused, grinning like the angels that they certainly weren't.
"Good, good. Well, I'm off. Have a good night, family!"
As quickly as she had entered Martha had swept out in a glittering of sequins, leaving the Castle family to their dinner.
..
..
..
..
..
The next morning Rick stretched and rolled onto his back, reaching an arm towards the side of the bed usually occupied by his wife of ten years, but instead of long brown hair and a sleepy smile he found an empty pillow and a green post-it stuck to his wrist.
"Caught a body, left at four. You did talk but I don't think you were awake. Call me when you get up, I might be able to make breakfast or lunch with you and the boys. Love you. X."
He smiled as he sat up, before plucking the note from his arm and opening his bedside drawer, extracting a composition book and sticking the note beneath a similar one from a week ago, scribbling the date next to it and returning the book to its' rightful place.
Now that he was sitting up, Rick wondered what it was, if not his wife leaving for a homicide case, that had woken him up.
A moment later, he heard the raised voice of his daughter, telling her brothers to be quiet, so got himself out of bed and trundled downstairs to find out what the boys were fighting about this time.
"I want to watch Spongebob!"
"Spongebob is stupid. We're watching The Simpsons."
"Dad! Can we watch Spongebob? Make Javi put it onto Spongebob."
"Don't we have, like, four TV's? Why are you fighting?" he asked, pouring himself a coffee.
"Because we're not allowed cereal in the movie room or the den, and we can't go in your office without you." Javier rattled off, matter-of-factly.
"Oh. Okay. Well, what about Transformers?" He sat down on the couch between the bickering boys; Alexis was in a wing-back chair to one side, sipping her own coffee and doing something on her laptop. Both boys were still in their pyjamas, but their sister was fully dressed.
"Not Transformers, Dad."
"Power Puff Girls? Dora the Explorer?" Rick teased, watching both boys pretend to vomit at the suggestions as Alexis laughed.
"I was just about to come up and get you, Dad, Grandma's going to be here to pick me up any minute."
"Thanks, honey. Speaking of, what time is it?"
"Almost nine."
"Why aren't you two dressed, yet?" Rick asked the boys, who stopped making the vomit noises and turned to look at him.
"Because it's summer vacation, duh." Javier said, Kevin nodding enthusiastically.
"Oh, okay, well, I guess if you don't want to get dressed you won't want to go and have brunch with Mom in the park, or to the Central Park Zoo this afternoon..."
He'd barely gotten the word 'zoo' out of his mouth before both boys took off at top speed, up the stairs and into their bedrooms.
"You're actually taking them to the zoo?"
"Hey, we used to go all the time."
"Yeah, but it was just you and me. Remember what happened last time you took both of them without a second adult to help you?" Alexis asked, one eyebrow raised.
"That was two years ago, Kevin was only five and Javier got the drop on me."
"He was missing for an hour."
"Forty minutes, and he wasn't missing, I just couldn't find him, and we were only in the Museum of Natural History, he knew not to leave the building. But if you tell Kate about it-"
"I know, I know, you'll send me to live with Mom in L.A. Well, if you think you can handle it, Dad, I wish you luck. Just don't call me expecting help, Grandma's taking me out to Brooklyn to do some thrift store hunting!"
"That sounds almost as fun as what we'll be doing." Rick told her, trying to sound enthusiastic.
"I'm sure it does, Dad. Did you call Kate?"
"How did you know she wanted me to call her?"
"The big, pink note on the fridge was kind of a giveaway." she pointed to the piece of pink notebook paper attached to the refrigerator, Rick had walked right by it with his coffee, with "CALL ME WHEN YOU GET UP" written on it in Kate's distinctive, round handwriting.
"Oh, yeah, I should do that see if she wants to have brunch with me and the boys before we go to the zoo."
He picked up the phone from the coffee table and hit the speed dial for Kate's cell, which she answered after a couple of rings.
"Beckett."
"Hey, honey. Where did you want to meet for brunch?"
"Oh, yeah. You wanted to take the boys to the zoo, right? Isn't there a cafe like right opposite the entrance?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"How about I meet you there in half an hour? I'm at the station house right now, but I need something to eat and the guys can handle any leads."
"Who are you working with today?"
"Hank and Joshua. They're actually not bad; I might see if I can get the Captain to let me team up with them more often, they don't seem to mind taking orders from a girl, unlike some of the other boneheads around here."
"You know, I could always come and help out, if you think I might be useful..."
"Rick, you can't bring the boys into the station, let alone to a murder scene. besides, the only time you've ever been even vaguely helpful was the time that copycat-"
"Yes, yes, we all know how that ended, I have the scar and you have the permanent record. Fair enough. Okay, they've just come downstairs, we'll be at the cafe in half an hour. Love you."
"Love you, too."
"I love you, Mommy!" Kevin called, knowing who his father was talking to from the part of the conversation he'd heard, and Javier echoed him a moment later.
"Tell the boys I love them, too, and I'll see my handsome men for brunch."
Like I said, crack. But if it catches someone's eye and you want more, let me know.