Chocolate factories, large birds and cheesecake.
One day Ianto woke up to hear the sound of Jack outside his room, he was speaking to someone, Ianto poked his head out just in time to see Jack walk by with a load of oversized birds!
"To the chocolate factory we shall go, where the bread and seeds are made for eating without your knifes or forks!" said captain Jack to his fellow pigeons.
Hmm, strange, pondered Ianto, then he managed to duck, just in time to avoid a flying Christian plate!
The tramp that had thrown it rushed towards Ianto with a shocking speed and paused inches before his face with an almost masterful skill, "It is our only chance of survival in this world of failed crockery!"
Ianto wondered for a moment if it would be offensive to shut his door in the strangers face, and, after a moments thought, decided that it was an appropriate measure to take in his current situation, he turned back into his room and decided that this was because of all of the carrot flapjack he had eaten the previous day while he was in that traffic jam he believed was to do with wishing wells.
He promptly seated himself in a fine oak armchair by an open fire that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and, after thirty minutes or so, fell into a deep slumber in which he dreamed about his teen pregnancy from when he was ten, because of these wishing wells that kept haunting him in his waking hours.
'Hmm,' he thought, 'must do something about those damned wishing wells! I mean, honestly, men shouldn't get pregnant, especially not via an incest that never even happened!' he woke up suddenly to find himself screaming 'abortiooon!'
He dabbed his brow with a man that he remembered from his class in third grade, although this time he was wearing cherry stockings.
"Excuse me, could you please refrain from doing that?" the man almost demanded.
"Sorry" Ianto replied, "Bit of a weird dream, and day actually, anyway what do you want?"
"I want cheesecake on John Hart, because he doing a special menu offer"
"Well, go and get it then." Said Ianto irritably.
The nonchalant attitude of his old classmate told Ianto there must be something else he wanted to say, Ianto rubbed his eyes and rested with his face in his palms for a while before exhaling deeply and looking up, "what else?" he queried.
"I just wanted to say you face is covered with the low budget cheesecake I brought at asda." these were his last words as a moment later a huge clamp fell upon him from the ceiling, crushing and killing him immediately.
"Nice speaking to you then, bye then!" Ianto mocked irritably, a moment later the realization of what had just happened hit him, and he woke up.