AN: I'm seeing The Last Jedi tomorrow! I don't know yet whether or not Luke is Rey's father, but that's the idea I'm using in this fic and I'll probably find out tomorrow if it's true. Oh, I don't own Star Wars, but you know that.
"The Father She Never Had"
By EsmeAmelia
"Rey, I am your father," Luke whispered to himself over and over as he climbed the hill where his daughter had first found him. Five little words, so why were they so difficult to say to Rey's face? "Rey, I am your father," he whispered again, fully aware of how similar those words were to the words that had changed his life so many years ago.
Would they change hers in a similar fashion?
And how could he ever explain why he had left her?
Would she understand that he had thought it the best way to protect her from her cousin?
Her cousin . . .
He found her at the top of the hill, kneeling by the gravestone he had made for Han, the setting sun giving an eerie glow over her. She appeared to be arranging flowers by the stone, making Luke gulp. He tried to whisper the words again, but found that they got stuck in his throat now that his daughter was actually in his line of vision.
"Han?" Rey whispered.
Luke gulped again, suddenly wondering if he should leave, but something held him in place as the evening breeze blew past him. He held his breath as if that would keep Rey from noticing him.
"Han?" Rey whispered again. "Can you hear me?" She ran her hand over the stone. "Are you . . . are you anywhere?" She swallowed, as if trying to choke down a sob. "I should have accepted your job offer – then maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe we'd be flying off together now, away from all this. Maybe Finn would have come too – I don't know how he is now, but the last time I saw him he was in a coma . . . because of your son." She sniffled. "Wh-why did you have to do it? Couldn't you see what a monster he is? I mean, I know why you wanted to reach out to him . . . b-but still, couldn't you see it was pointless and all it did was cost you your life?" She sounded almost angry at the dead man. "I wish you were here. I know, that sounds strange, but even though we only knew each other for a few days, you meant something to me."
Luke's single flesh hand was shaking.
"By the way," Rey continued, "I actually found Luke. He's training me in the Force. I . . . I think he misses you too. I know, you're probably angry at him for leaving, but don't be too hard on him. He's been through a lot. I think it broke his heart when . . . when it happened."
Should Luke interrupt her? Was she ready to learn the truth?
Rey was swallowing again, sprinkling some light blue flower petals onto the grave. "Do you know that your son . . . when he interrogated me . . . looked inside my mind?" She gulped as if swallowing a sob again. "He . . . he said I thought of you as the father I never had."
Luke froze, his eyes drying as he stared at his daughter. Was this true?
Rey sniffled again as she placed a flower on top of the stone. "I-I didn't know I felt like that until he read my mind, but once he said it . . . I realized it was true. You . . . you . . . I don't know how to explain it, but you cared about me like no one else did before – well, both you and Finn did. If my real parents really did abandon me, I would have been honored to call you my father."
Luke's eyes were welling up, whether because of Han or because of his daughter's words, he couldn't tell. "Rey?" he found himself saying almost without deciding to do so.
With a slight gasp, Rey snapped her head up to face him. "Oh . . . Luke," she stammered. "I didn't hear you."
Luke sighed, gazing over at the gravestone that was now decked with little flowers. How long had Rey been working on it? "Han was my best friend," he said softly.
"I know," Rey whispered back. "He was your best friend and you left him."
Luke's stomach jumped as he kneeled down in front of the stone, next to his daughter. "Yes, but there wasn't a day when I didn't miss him and Leia." And you.
Rey ran her hand under her nose, blinking at Luke with glistening eyes. "Maybe you could have saved him."
The words hung in the air between them, stinging Luke's heart. Could he have saved Han if he'd never left?
He would never know.
Yet there was his daughter, her glistening eyes staring at him, communicating that she thought he shared the blame for Han's death.
Maybe he did.
He gently put his real hand on his daughter's back. "Maybe I could have saved him, I don't know."
"What are we even doing here? Are we here for my training or just because you still can't stand showing your face in the real world?"
Luke had no answer for that.
Once again Rey was running her hand over the gravestone, staring at it as if she thought Han would magically return if she tended to it enough. "He said you felt responsible for what happened. Maybe you were."
Luke swallowed. "Maybe I was. I'll never know if I could have changed anything." His artificial hand reached out and met Rey's on the edge of the gravestone. "We can never know what might have been."
Rey gave a long inhale as if swallowing her sobs, gazing at him with eyes that so much resembled her mother's.
Her mother . . . whom Ben murdered so long ago.
He had been powerless to stop that death as well.
"I miss him," she choked out. "So much."
Luke wrapped his arm around her. "So do I."
Father and daughter gazed at the memorial stone as the sky gradually darkened, but Luke still didn't tell Rey about her family.
For now, Han could be her father.
At least he didn't leave her like Luke did.
THE END