DISCLAIMER: I am making no money off of this, and this site isn't either. This is purely fan-fiction written by a weird person who has absolutely nothing better to do than write this stuff. I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Snape, etc. J.K.R. does.
Inspired by the song Baby Blue by Tremolo. Not that I really understand it too well. I wrote it in kinda a weird style for me. Definitely not one of my most conventional tales. Hope you still like.
Baby Blue
A thousand different costumes lined the closet. The moon shone, its shimmering particles of light dripping down to brighten the room only otherwise lit by a simple 40 watt. The bulb hung, dismal, from the ceiling, out of place yet strangely expected. Along, under the window, the sole tenant of 1860 D of West Harlem St. sat. His smile would make even the bravest of men uneasy.
…………………….
Dromio Dexterius Dally--an odd alias, he granted. This pseudonym had come to mind with little thought or cause. It never occurred to him until later how he had selected an awful alliteration, similar to his real name of Severus Sonorous Snape. Nor did he come to the realization until much later that, of any letter he might have selected, his assumed names all began with letter D.
D reminded him of (Albus) Dumbledore, who had cruelly sent him here in the first place.
D brought to his mind Draco (Malfoy), the perverted young man who had attempted to rape his old potions teacher just earlier this year.
D also started Dolores (Umbridge), the revolting woman from the ministry who had officially ruined his life for the school year of 1995-1996.
Dromio (or shall we simply call him Snape to make this less complex) shuddered in Disgust, Detestation, and Decadence.
He (never mind his name) mused over how he had ended up here, a tiring wizard deprived of magical abilities and sanctioned onto the Muggle avenue of West Harlem St. In all veracity, his plight might have differed terribly. Sure, removed to the quiet seclusion of these chambers could demonstrate the kindly heart of Dumbledore--without his intervention, Snape might have felt the dementors tugging and fighting over his soul morning to night in the prison of Azkaban. It also reflected, however, Dumbledore's great desire to always teach a lesson, cruel though it may seem. Snape could mentally understand the moral of his punishment, but he never would rectify his feelings.
Snape, the year before, had taken a great deal of money from the Ministry of Magic in order that he would carry out the assassination of Dumbledore, whom they thought an enemy. Snape had done his duty, but Dumbedore learned of it prior. He made arrangements to ensure that Snape could not kill him, played dead for a while, and rose up again to destroy Voldemort in a single figurative blow. The Ministry, seeing Dumbledore once again as their ally, double-crossed Snape by denouncing hs failed deed, and prosecuting. Of course, they left their own part of the drama out of the picture. Dumbledore got Snape out of the scrape by revealing that they had 'collaborated' in the headmaster's feigned death. Reality proves, however, that this did not happen.
On their own time, Dumbledore proceeded to attempt to teach Snape a lesson in loyalty and morality. This he did by taking away the potions master's wand temporarily and 'banishing' him to the outside world. Hence the room on West Harlem St.
Snape, at first, had detested the room allotted to him by Dumbledore, more vehemently than even a jail. Immaturely, he stomped up and down the place, screaming curses at passersby. (They heard nothing, whatsoever; Dumbledore laid charms to ensure that! Though, one man riding his bicycle past every day in that firs week noticed "a lunatic raving at his window, but whom seemed to have lost his voice with shouting." He went on to declare that: "Lack of audibility did not seem to ever deter the confined man, however, and he continually shifted back and forth between his agonized, unheard screams to uncontrollable sobbing." This Muggle man later became famous when he penned a best-selling novel based on his experience, As I Rolled By.)
No, the Muggle did not counterfeit the 'uncontrollable sobbing'; Snape later admitted to 'perhaps a few tears'. He maintained, though, that the main stage of distress came from ire.
After a few dreary, somber weeks, Severus tired of defiance, however. His fierceness evaporated, his violent anger dissipated, and his self-control returned. However, the hate and contempt he felt for the man who had forced him there did not abandon his soul. And, though his rage and furious temper had absolved into dormancy, one might suspect that they also absconded with the wretched man's sanity.
………………
The day he ceased to scream, Severus' landlady came to visit. Although the yells of detestation and hatred had never reached her ears thanks to Dumbledore's charms, she had felt an eerie vibe outside his door. Since she tended to sense and fear such things often, she followed her intuition and did not enter the newly let chambers to visit the occupant. Maybe she saved her own life with that silly thing her husband scornfully called 'a hunch.'
In any case, that day the landlady first rapped her hand firmly on the door, and found it opened quietly by the renter.
"Good day, Mrs. Johnson." The charm apparently wore off of him when he spoke and a normal tone of voice.
"Good morning yourself, Mr. Dally. I say," she surmised, taking a brief glance over the tenant, "You're looking quite thin, and I haven't seen you going out at all for a fortnight. Are you hungry at all? You really should eat. It's unnerving." She neglected to add that she also found the mere sight of him--dirty, greasy, and reeking of bodily uncleanliness--just as unnerving.
Severus followed her gaze and looked down at himself.
"Yes," he said simply, "I really should."
So saying, he shut the door in her face and took a hot bath.
…………….
Severus did end up with a decent meal at a local pub that night. He also bought a few bottles of certain beverages he liked to keep on-hand, and a newspaper.
The day had a certain lacking of any interesting news, so the front page sported one large article about the Duchess of Windeburry's hosting of a large party, to celebrate her daughter's coming-of-age.
Severus stared at the picture of the Duchess. The way she smiled and waved to the camera . . . the glint of the jewelry in her hair and around her neck . . . the expensive velvet cape that draped around her . . . she looked like a fat old pussycat given its daily cream after six helpings of gourmet fish.
"Merlin, how disgusting," Snape muttered, tearing a hesitant chunk off his biscuit and forcing it down his gullet. Then he turned the page to read the horoscopes.
He paid no more thought to the picture, the Duchess, or anything else after he had successfully and surreptitiously spiked his coffee. At least, he forgot about the whole thing until later.
Snape walked home down Piccadilly, bit more tipsy than he liked but all right generally. As he passed the front floor display of Tudmore and Bacon's Fine Costumery, one of the articles in the window caught his attention. A raven-black cape with velvet lining shone near the moonlight-silver mask which accompanied it. A great tall silk hat completed the effect, and some careful arranger had propped the objects against a long black walking stick. The effect, complete, made Severus goggle.
Then, suddenly, a wet tongue and large paws attacked Severus. Stunned, the wizard stepped back a foot, and his eyes fell upon a huge gray dog. It jumped upon him as though an old friend, and bit him like an old enemy. Severus could do nothing but what he always did in a similar situation: whack the dog on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. This he conveniently had under his arm, a rare feat.
When the dog disappeared, whimpering into the darkness, Severus caught a glance of the article's feature photo. This recalled, with a tinge of amusement, the article about the old Duchess. He toyed over the idea of bringing a dog to her party, to see if it would instantly head for her and chase her plumpness about her own grounds. The more he pondered the idea, the more it tickled him and seemed like a great prank. In a minute, he rashly decided that he would carry out the plan, and punish the woman for her richness. After all, he lived only on what Dumbledore gave him right now—and that did not amount to much, because he knew Severus' family had a history with drinking. Severus could bring the dog, use him as distraction, and then abscond with the caviar and the silver. Easy enough.
A jingling sound awoke him from his reverie, and Severus saw the owner of the shop gingerly getting out his keys and preparing to lock the front door.
"Wait!" Severus tried to make his voice steady as possible.
The man gave Snape what only one can describe as a 'weird look'.
"Whadda want?"
Severus pointed at the window. "The costume set."
The man raised his eyebrows. "Really? You joshing me? It's damn expensive."
"Hell no." Severus dug in his pocket and revealed some of those Muggle moneys given him by Albus.
The man stuffed his keys back in his pocket.
"Come on in, then."
Severus did not hesitate.
…………………….
The next afternoon, outfitted in his new Zorro-like attire, only, he found himself astonished. What had seemed last night a dark black cape appeared, under appropriate light, blue. Not just a navy, single-tone blue, but one with a gradient, that ranged from light aqua to dark indigo.
Damn. And the receipt said, in great bold letters: NO RETURNS.
Blast. And the cape alone had cost 100 pounds. The rest cost 94 pounds altogether.
Shit. And Snape had no dog. No more money, either.
It still looked like he had to go to that party . . .
………………………
At least the Duchess of Windeburry's daughter liked dramatics; Snape found that only guests in costumes could wind their way to get into the party. He slipped right into a crowd of cross-dressed men that passed by the strict security without a thought, while legitimate guests (or so Snape assumed) had to show their invitations to pass. How amusing, this looked very easy.
He soon spied the caviar, the silver, and the champagne. As he meandered towards it, purportedly a guest seeking refreshment, a tap on his shoulder roused him. He wanted to avert his eyes as soon as he saw what his abrupt spinning-around revealed.
An undeniably 'sexy' girl stood before him, one with a very low-cut top and a miniskirt. She had bunny ears and a cotton ball on her butt.
"Hey, Baby Blue," she grinned, purring a little.
Severus' automatic reaction: turn around and disappear before she could get close to him.
Severus' rethought reaction: stay awhile. Look at that damn beautiful pearl necklace.
Following his second reaction, he responded in the best imitation of Johnny Bravo ever made by a man who had never seen the show.
"Hey, Pretty Girl."
Such a lame comeback, but the girl seemed grateful for it anyway. She ran her fingers over his broad, firm shoulder.
"You can call me . . ." she flung back her head dramatically, then drew her arm completely around his neck. In a second, her nose nearly touched his. " . . . Delilahhhhhhhhh." She stretched out the 'h' as though trying to draw a line with it.
"I . . ." Severus began, but trailed off. After all, he usually did not experience a woman's thigh against his own, a feminine arm around his neck, and almost NEVER a kiss on his cheek. She kissed again, closer to his lips than the first time, but not quite there.
"Let's get someplace more . . . cozy . . ." she purred again. "I know just the place." So saying, she dragged Snape away from the party under a large, thick willow.
Severus had never kissed a woman before. He did not particularly like the fact that although he never had met this girl until minutes before but she already treated him more intimately than Lily ever had. However, he wanted those pearls, badly. He knew the difference between real and fake jewelry; he could not mistake these for paste.
Delilahhhhhhh began to start tugging at her neckline. Not at ALL wanting to see what her shirt contained, instead Severus flung himself at her, with intent to snog. She did not resist; actually aided him in his quest.
His hands roved, from her face to her ears then, gradually . . . to her neck. Mmmm, he felt the cool pearls beneath his fingers . . . he just had to wait for the perfect moment . . . oh Merlin, this girl slobbered like a female dog with rabies . . . disgusting . . .
Delilahhhhhh's fingers started doing another number on her shirt, thinking his finger's descent meant he wanted to see lower. He could not escape seeing the flash of two silky white breasts . . . but even these looked like pearls.
With a final kiss at her neck, he managed somehow, with his teeth, to undo the clasp of the necklace. She giggled as his tongue tickled her throat. This she replaced with a gasp of astonishment as Severus grabbed the necklace and practically dove through the willow boughs at full speed. Delilahhhhh screamed "Baby Bluuuuuuuuuue!" but Severus would not stop for anything now, not until he got in the clear.
…………………
So began his new career in thieving. Severus dismantled the necklace and sold the pearls, one by one, to separate unwitting fences, making enough to reimburse his own spending plus a generous profit. Snape felt, for the first time in a long time, as though he had actually accomplished something.
The next week, on another slow day, he found another article on a party not far from London: this one a garden party to celebrate the coming of summer. Severus wondered . . . could he possibly have the same good luck twice?
He did a similar ruse to the one he had used before, to the first woman that approached the strange guest in the mask and cape. He found himself introducing himself as "Baby Blue". He rather thought it an apt alias, fitting his attire. At least, he found it more to his liking than Dromio Dexterus Dally. To his great satisfaction, Severus discovered that he did have that sort of luck. And again he did. And again. And again. The work became easier. And more fun.
Every time he heard of a party or other social gathering in the paper, and his attempt to rob whomever he could was successful, Snape would post the picture of the host or the article on his bedroom wall. After a while, he started buying different costumes; after his first few tries, the police started looking for him in his cape and silk hat. So he changed his outfit often. Still all blue, but in essence different.
The day of jubilation came when Severus realized he saw his title, Baby Blue, for the first time, in a newspaper.
Another astonishing strike by the notorious Baby Blue, this time on Madame de Cometess Trenard's rubies. She was attending the Universal Peace Association's First Annual Charity Ball when, at once, she discovered her rubies had disappeared off her neck. She caught a glimpse of a masked man, already forty feet away. Having heard such tales about Baby Blue, she reported later: "He always seemed to strike at lower-class women before, when I read about him in the newspaper. I did not think he should try for my rubies! How audacious, I say! I commend him, but I really ask him to send the rubies back before my husband takes very serious actions against you . . ."
She commended him? Strange. She had read about him before? Strange.
Severus could not hold back a laugh. He had become famous practically overnight.
………………
Over the course of the next six months, Baby Blue became a celebrity among thieves. One of his fences got him in contact with a few men, all world-class thieves. Starkey Peter, the heavy-set dwarf-wrestler, had a ploy similar to Severus'. Haemon Spengler, vampire, used his magic to confuse and take advantage of his victims, whom he sometimes killed if he had the urge to feed. Paladin Methusalah, jewelery expert, could tell a diamond from cubic ziracona from a mile away with only a telescope. Jason Pi used ninja-like skills to attack and rob his victims. Last but not least, Aaron Mueller, college professor and retired F.B.I. agent, had the technology to get him through any mission. Together, they had periodic meetings and made arrangements for various robberies, throughout the world.
With such a high-class team as the one he involved in, Severus felt a bit humbler; the other men, especially Spengler, had all the makings of Einstein. However, like Snape, most of them had felt expelled by the world and felt some sort of need to take revenge. He actually became fast friends with the clever, witty vampire; they had a great deal in common.
Paladin acted as a sort of head-leader for the group, which called themselves The Legion. Simple as that. However, in one particular escapade in Sri Lanka, Paladin got shot while examining the loot . . . several cases of raw diamonds. Snape took immediate command in the heat of battle because most of the others had no chance to grab Paladin's radio transmitter. In the end, the gang barely escaped with their lives, but they owed it completely to Snape. This boosted his self-esteem considerably, especially when they nominated him to be the new head-leader, for his quick thinking and good management.
So, they did not balk when he proposed that they should attempt to steal the Crown Jewels. Severus and Spengler laid plans. Mueller provided equipment. Pi and Peter would do the actual dirty work, with Severus overseeing all. They made all arrangements over the period of a month. Then came the night.
…………………….
"Severus?"
Albus appeared as Severus had unwrapped a celebratory ham sandwich and a bottle of champagne he had nicked from his latest work.
"Albus." Snape's good mood vanished. "Why are you here?"
"I just . . . came along to see how you're doing."
Severus nodded. "Fine, fine."
Dumbledore gently took the champagne bottle to read the label.
"Krug, Clos du Mesnil 1995?" Albus turned the bottle round and round. "Severus, although I am not a true connoisseur of Muggle wines . . . I know this cost over five hundred pounds, easily. How did you get it?"
Severus snorted. "I got a job. How else?"
"What job?"
Snape uncorked the bottle. "Why should I tell you? You're punishing me. Maybe, if you give me back my . . ."
"You do not recant, do you?" Albus sighed.
Severus shook his head. "No. I never will. I highly respect you, Albus, but you must agree that the Ministry did have a point: you were rather off your rocker."
"I never thought I would live to hear you say that, Severus."
"What? That I respect you?"
"No, the other thing."
Severus shook his head. "Mediwitch report proved it. Just . . . just leave, will you? Before I get angry. I have important business tonight."
Albus looked at the champagne as Severus filled a single glass for himself, then downed it like whiskey. "Your landlady told me you've made friends."
"A few, yes. Why?"
"Muggles?"
"Not all of them."
Albus looked at Snape. Then he noticed the open closet door. "You've taken to wearing . . . blue?"
The entire closet bulged with Severus' thieving attire.
"Ah . . ." What would pose more danger, a lie or the truth? " . . . Yes. That I have."
Albus raised his spectacles. "Your landlady also told me you go in and out at strange times of night."
Severus shrugged. " London's night life beckons."
Dumbledore dropped his suspicion. "I feel very . . . old. Tired. Lonely. As though I don't know who you are any more, Severus."
Snape shrugged. "You don't."
There seemed nothing more to say.
"Are you satisfied with your world here, Severus? The one you have created for yourself?"
"Certainly. I don't resent not being at Hogwarts any more, if that is what you mean."
At this, Albus rose.
"Wait, are you leaving?"
"Yes, I thought so."
" . . . You are not giving my wand back?"
"I'm not giving it to anyone but Severus. You aren't Severus. You're . . ." A cog snapped into place within Dumbledore's brain. "You're Baby Blue. Not Severus Snape."
Their eyes met. Snape felt nothingness enveloping him. Then Dumbledore had disapparated, left forever.
Strangely, Severus did not feel so badly about this as he might have.
………………..
"Get down, Pi! Get down!"
Gunshots. Sirens. Smoke in the air. Blood at his feet.
Starkey had deserted with stage fright, setting off the all the alarms in the Tower of London. Pi and Severus found themselves left to fend off thirty armed policemen swarming up the stairs to the Crown Jewels room.
But Severus had prepared for this eventuality. As the first policemen entered the room, both Snape and Pi swallowed identical pink comfits containing lethal doses of arsenic. It acted quick, and both died before they received the command
"Hands up."
"Can't," Snape thought as the soul of Baby Blue slipped up towards early morning sky.
Baby Blue by Tremolo.
Light bulb in my room
Eclipsed by many moons
Dressed in my costume
Baby
Photos on the wall
Of ones who have it all
The girls the boys will call
Baby
Its impossible to fight
When you work at Hardee's nights
This is not my voice
This was not my choice
Tthis is somebodies
Baby
They don't know my age
They don't know my name
They just call me
Baby blue
Piper in the woods
Wooed me from my hood
Said i'd be a good
Baby
Sold into a world
Of oriental pearls
Such a pretty girl
Baby
I'm a million faces now
Stolen angel in the crowd
This is not my voice
This is not my choice
This is somebodies
Baby
They don't know my age
They don't know my name
They just call me
Baby blue
If you can hear my voice
Breaking through your noise
No you can't take long
I'll send my name in a paper plane
But you can't take long
St. Agnus don't call
Ghosts within these stalls
Den mother calls us
Baby
There's a dragons tower
In every nation's power
This is now the hour
Sri Lanka Katmandu
I'm in New York city too
This is not my voice
This is not my choice
This is somebody's
Baby
They don't know my age
They don't know my name
They just call me
Baby blue