The arm she feels wrap around her waist is like an iron chain pulling her down beneath the ocean waves – drowning her.
All it takes is one glance at his face and she knows she is just cannot return the love he has unleashed upon her.
She had tried, for him, after the pathetic looks he gave her throughout crazy jumpsuit's wedding ceremony to unearth the feelings from within her.
There's nothing there for him except for a small smidgen of affection for him as the father of their children – respect for the fact that he brings home enough money to support their family – lust for his devotion to fulfilling her needs physically.
They all pale and fade in comparison to the true, real love she sees in eyes – hears underneath all the words spilling out of his mouth.
It would be better if she were in love with someone else – someone like Stick or that new little protégé that Perry's adopted –
She's come to the stark realization that she simply doesn't have the capability to truly love another adult.
His love is special – and hard won – and because she cares for him, just the smallest bit, she'll fake it for him as long as she can.