Disclaimer-I own nothing. The song is Heroin Girl by Everclear.

Author's Note- let me know what you think.

Warnings- Yaoi, DRUGS, language, kind of dark.

Riku strolled into Axel's apartment shutting the door softly behind him. The redhead was passed out on the bed face down. Riku walked over and looked at his sleeping form, he was still dressed in his clothes from last night, even his shoes were still on. Riku reached down and shook his thin shoulder softly.

"Wake up!"

Axel jumped slightly and opened his green eyes, grimacing. "Hey Riku."

The silver haired teen frowned, "You were out last night again weren't you."

Axel nodded slightly and turned over onto his back. He looked up at Riku, "You know I love you right?"

Riku sighed, "Yeah, I know. I love you too...I just wish that you wouldn't do that so much."

"Yeah..." Axel looked ashamed for a moment but it didn't last.

"You know its almost 4pm right? I'm already done with kickboxing practice and I picked up some shit for dinner if you want anything," Riku ran his hand through his long silver hair.

"Yeah...that'd be awesome..." Axel said as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"...Can you be sober for part of the night tonight?" Riku was hesitant.

"Yeah of course...why do you even have to ask?" Axel said around his cigarette.

"Well...every time I see you at night...your either so high you can barley make any sense or in the process of getting there," Riku looked down at the ground.

"Uh...yeah... I know it bothers you babe...but I can't stop..." Axel sat up.

"Yeah well...it's okay. I got you enough to get you through the week..." Riku sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend.

"Thanks babe...you know you didn't have to..." Axel said it, but Riku knew he did. Last time Axel ran out...he went and got himself fucked up, not in the way he planned.

"It's okay...you know I'd do anything to make you happy," Riku smiled, it was a tragic sight.

"I know," Axel shuffled over to Riku and wrapped his thin arms around him. Riku leaned against him for a moment before he got up.

"I'm gonna go grab the Mexican food I ordered...it's at the place still," he kissed Axel lightly on the lips and walked out the door.

Esther used to be

the kind of girl you would

never leave

She'd do anything

to give me what I need for my disease

She'd do anything

I can hear them talking in

the real world

But they don't understand that

I'm happy in Hell

with my Heroin Girl.

Riku came back to the apartment to see Axel sitting on the edge of the bed, showered and in less scummy looking clothes, they probably still weren't clean but they were better. Riku carried the food into the small kitchen and set it on the counter.

He turned around and looked at his lover. Three years they'd been together...things were different then. Axel was happy, carefree and not an addict. He used to have muscles and there were no marks on his arms, less lines on his face. Two years ago he got involved with the wrong people, they got him into it. At first he thought he could handle it, Riku knew better, he knew the path he was going down but just couldn't leave him. Axel never once asked him to join him with it, he knew better.

About a year ago Axel started having problems getting what he needed. Once Riku seen him start to freak out he helped him get it. He worked at a club and went to college. After a while he dropped out of college and took up a second job at a crappy little diner. He made enough to pay for his and Axel's rent, they moved in together when Axel got evicted. Axel would shoot up while Riku was at work at his second job. Riku would come home and wrap himself in Axel's warm embrace, whether the redhead was high or not. Axel would try to see through the haze to talk seriously to him but it didn't always work. Neither did the sex. Riku remembered the night when he came home and Axel had the twin teardrop tatoos on his face. Then it shocked him, now they just seemed to suit him.

Currently the sober Axel walked over to him and the food. Riku looked up and smiled, he loved it when Axel was sober. Axel wrapped his arms lovingly around him. He kissed his forehead, both of his cheeks then both of his lips. Riku smiled as he returned the kiss. His stomach interupted whatever might have happened by grumbling, both of them felt it, Riku laughed. A rare thing these days.

"When's the last time you've eaten?" Typical of Axel to ask that.

"I don't know, yesterday morning maybe?" Riku said as he leaned against Axel's chest, he was so damn thin now.

"Okay so let's eat," Axel kissed him again before he let go to get food. They sat down on the ratty couch in front of the tv and ate their food. Once they finished Riku threw away the empty box and curled up to Axel, who held him. Axel looked down at him, a soft smile on his face.

"What love?" Riku asked.

"Nothing...just thinking how beautiful you are," Axel's speech was clear, that more than what he said made Riku happy.

"I love you," Riku said as he kissed a spot on Axel's neck. Axel smiled and kissed him, gently pushing him back on the couch. Riku kissed him as he pulled him closer to his body. Tonight sex wouldn't just be attempt to feel something, it would be sweet and gentle. Not rough and hard like it usually was.

Afterward Riku caught his breath as he lay against Axel's chest. He sighed contentedly, completely set on sleeping like this in Axel's arms, with him being sober until he felt the man stir.

"Riku...I need it..." Riku's smile fell.

"Alright, I'm going to shower then..." Riku sat up.

"Riku...I'm sorry," Axel knew he wasn't happy.

"I know...I love you Axel," Riku kissed him before he walked over to the bathroom.

"Love you too..." Axel said softly before he pulled out his drug. He tied off his arm before he tested the needle.

Riku turned on the hot water and stepped into the spray. He hated it when Axel did this. Riku punched the wall hard, most likely breaking a knuckle, wouldn't be the first time. He always said he was sorry...then why didn't he ever try to quit. But then again Riku didn't help...he just helped him get it. He was always so afraid that one day he'd come home and Axel would be lying there dead, overdosed.

Riku walked into the bedroom and put on clothes. He walked out into other room, Axel was still lying on the couch but Riku knew, he was high. Axel lost the initial rush and was just feeling the rest of it. Riku walked over to him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Axel looked up at him, "Hey..."

"Come on babe, let's go to bed. You got work tomorrow," Riku pulled him up and into his arms. He ignored what he said and laid down next to him. Riku sighed and set the alarm clock, 7 am would come quickly.