Daddy's Gonna Sing You a Lullaby

Roy was prepared for a lot of things. He was prepared for the fall of King Bradley. He was prepared for the final battle with the Homunculi, even though he wasn't expecting it to come the way it did. He was even prepared to step down from his position because of what he'd done to find out what happened to Hughes. He wasn't prepared for the day that Riza, his favorite subordinate, told him she was pregnant.

For him, it was the most life-altering news; aside from finding out he was blind.

She stood before him in her usual attire, her hair upswept in a twist, held in place by a clip. She was standing at attention, her breathing ragged. The blonde was quiet as she spoke, her words were hauntingly thin. This meant bad things for them. She could never tell anyone who the father was, and as much as it pained him, he could never see his own child. She knew that as well as anyone. If the military knew, they would transfer her and take the child away. It had to remain a secret.

He took a ragged breath and folded his hands. "And…you're sure?"

"Yes, sir." She murmured, never dropping formalities. Her whole body seemed to go rigid. She could remember the night the child was conceived fairly well. It was shortly after the fight, after they had both recovered from their wounds. It was small gestures that led to this place they were at now. At first, she wasn't sure about it. Everything they did had to be in secret.

She was at his apartment, helping him recover from his wounds, the wound on his abdomen giving him trouble again. She was careful not to touch too hard, but he still flinched away from her. Both of them carried scars that neither wanted to face. He gingerly touched the scar on her neck. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you well enough, he'd whispered to her. She merely offered a smile back and answered; it isn't your job to protect me. Before she knew it, one thing had led to another, and, even being blind, Roy knew his way around.

A bright blush rose to her cheeks and he couldn't help but smile softly. So she did remember. "What do you intend to do?"

"I had hoped to speak with Furor Grumman about this," She replied, folding her arms behind her back and entering parade rest. "Perhaps I could get some time off towards the end, this way I can deliver her safely and put her up for adoption."

The word adoption caused a sharp pain in his heart. She wouldn't possibly put their child up for adoption, would she? He didn't ask right away, he'd save those questions for later, when they weren't under constant surveillance of the military. "She?"

"It must be a girl," Riza replied with a tiny smile. "I would never buy pink for a boy."

He leaned back in his chair and turned to stare out the window. There were so many things he wished he could say. There were so many preventions they had taken to not get this far in the relationship, but it still happened. He wasn't sure what this meant for them, but he knew it was bad. The man narrowed his eyes and put his head in his hands. "You won't regret putting your own flesh and blood up for adoption? Even when your mother was scarcely absent in your life?"

She raised a brow and her eyes widened slightly. He didn't really bring that up, did he? The blonde looked away, staring at the floor. "I suppose I would regret it, in the long run. But I don't see any feasible option at the moment, sir. And if they knew the circumstances behind this unwanted pregnancy, I'm positive the military would probably hang the man responsible."

"A price worth paying," He replied casually. "How did you come to find out this information?"

She turned back to him, staring at the back of his head. "It came up in the routine physical," She murmured, staring away again. "Sir, I would like to request a leave of absence."

He didn't turn to her; he didn't speak for a long time. He knew what was going to happen next. He couldn't stop her from what she was going to do. "…granted."

Clicking her heels, she stood at attention again. "Thank you, sir."

Several days passed before anyone heard from Hawkeye again. She had left a quick message that she was ill and couldn't return to work that day. Havoc was the first to question it, but Roy shut him down rather quickly by saying she probably had a cold, seeing as it was snowing outside. He told his subordinates that he would check on her that night, and make sure everything was okay.

He arrived at her apartment around nine, seeing the lights on inside. There was a shadow of a man, sitting at the kitchen table with her. Roy tapped on the door and waited for her to come open the door. Hayate began to bark long before she got there.

"General…" She spoke breathlessly, having run to get the door. "…I wasn't expecting you here."

He walked passed her, ignoring her formalities, eyeing the man at the table. "Hawkeye, who is this?"

"A doctor. He was sent by the military to assess the situation." She sat back down and nodded to the man at the table. "His name is Joshua. He specializes in maternal needs."

"I don't like this one bit." Roy casually observed.

"As I was saying, Miss Hawkeye, what you're asking me to do isn't common practice. It's practically playing God, going against anything that the alchemists stand for." The man continued, ignoring Roy. "Not to mention it's quite unethical."

"If I keep the child, they'll make me retire," Riza mumbled quietly. "I swore that I would protect my superior, what good am I if I'm no longer by his side?"

Roy wondered how much this man knew. He clenched his fists at his sides and turned to Riza, ignoring formalities. "You weren't going to ask me how I felt about this. You were just going to go and do it? I respect you, I love you, I would give up the world for you, I would give up my position for you, but you can't even stop to think of my feelings on the matter?"

"Is this the father?" Joshua inquired, staring at the uniform casually. "I should have suspected as much. Your office romance has been the talk of the military for quite some time. Someone in your position should be far more careful, general."

Roy froze in place for a moment. This man knew? He looked away. "Both of us grew up without parental figures. It's unfair to take away something that this child will have. What makes us right to decide that this child doesn't need a family? Look at what happened to us? Is this the life you want to live, Hawkeye? Honestly, do you want to spend the rest of your life taking orders from me? You always talked about parenthood, about how Hayate was your baby, but you'd wanted something more." He knelt down and took her hands in his. "You've got the family you've always wanted. Don't give this up, Hawkeye. You'll regret it."

"He's right," Joshua answered with a nod. "I won't report the fraternization to your superiors, but he has a very valid point. I respect your wishes, Miss Hawkeye, but what you're asking is far from common medical practice. I cannot grant you your wish."

"She wasn't going to put him for adoption?" Roy asked suddenly releasing her hands. He turned on Joshua, his voice dark. "What was she going to do?"

Joshua got quiet, which fueled Roy's temper far more.

"Tell me!"

Riza's tiny voice broke through the awkward tension. "I was going to have him kill the baby."

The fear that struck him was immobilizing. He fell to his knees again, his eyes widened with shock. All that time he'd spent trying to convince her to keep it, and she'd already decided to kill it? His voice broke as he spoke again. "If…if that's your decision…"

She nodded sadly. "I swore I would protect you. This will not get in my way."

"W-what about adoption?" His voice was small, trembling like a leaf in a cold wind. He wanted a family with her more than anything, even if it meant retiring early. "I'll talk to Gracia or Winry…"

Riza shook her head. "Winry has her hands full with Maes and Nina. I don't want to add to that burden. And Gracia is old, I'm sure she doesn't want another child."

"So, you've decided then…" Roy whispered, standing to his feet. His hands were clenched, but he didn't speak to her. "Then so have I."

She looked up at him in shock, wondering what he could possibly be referring to. "Sir?"

"If you kill our baby," Roy whispered with sadness dripping from his voice. "Then I'm handing in my resignation tomorrow morning. No…I'll do it tonight; because I won't want to be the reason for another death that could have been prevented. And I sure as hell don't want you protecting me if you can't even protect the most precious thing to me."

As he left the apartment, slamming the door in his wake, Riza was left staring at the table in silence. He'd spoken his peace. "He'll be hanged."

Joshua nodded. "It seems this is what he wants."

"But…I can't protect him from himself," She whispered, her voice trembling. "He'll be killed for this."

"At this point, does it really matter?" The doctor questioned, packing up his tools that were used to check her vitals. He stared at the young woman for a very long time, blue eyes scrutinizing her. "If you kill your child, Miss Hawkeye, you'll be no better than those men you wish to take down. It would make you a murderer. I know you don't believe in killing innocent people; you said as much when I first arrived. So why murder someone who doesn't have any fighting chance? Is that a fair battle?"

As the doctor left her in silence, she sat staring at Hayate. "What have I gotten myself into?"

Roy arrived late to the office the next day. He'd spent most of the night praying to a God he didn't believe in to change her mind. He had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted this. The man hadn't slept and yawned as he walked angrily to his office. When Kain stopped to ask how Riza was doing, Roy's reply was terse and angry. Kain backed off and told the others that the General was in a bad mood.

He froze when he saw Riza sitting in the chair in civilian attire. He gently let his hand fall off of the door and closed it softly. "I don't want to see you right now," The man growled with a sardonic look. "I would just regret ever having a relationship with you."

"I know," She whispered, trying to shake the look of murder in his eyes. Those eyes that pierced through her soul and caused her whole body to grow cold. "We need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, Hawkeye. You made your decision. You weren't going to include me, and that's fine. After all, it is your life." He sat at his desk and folded his arms. "But whatever you do, make sure you never include me again, because I'm no longer part of your life."

"This is a deal breaker for you? I thought you loved me!" She screamed bitterly.

He looked down at his gloves, shaking his head. "This was before I knew you were still murdering innocent people," He growled. "We swore after that fight with Envy that we would never kill innocent people again. That was this whole mission; to protect more innocents from dying! Did you forget that, Hawkeye? Did you forget our purpose? Because you sure as hell never let me forget."

"I know," She shrieked again, her voice shrill. He flinched noticeably, realizing her voice was cracking because she'd been crying the night before. "I know." She whispered this time, looking back to her hands. "I came to hand in my resignation. Grumman says he understands, but he still wishes that I would eventually come back if time will allow it. I'm not sure that I will. Doctor Joshua informed me that there's no safe procedure…that wouldn't kill me along with it…so I decided to put her for adoption. Then I realized you were right. We can't willingly deprive a child of the things that were forcibly taken from us. She has a right to know her family. So, I decided to keep her. And then I thought about it longer and longer, and I didn't realize why this meant so much to you. But, you were willing to sacrifice what you hold dear in order for me to see that you were serious about this." She calmly explained, fidgeting with her hands. "So, I'm going to keep her."

He let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding, his heart racing as he listened to her words. "You resigned…?"

"I couldn't let you do it, sir. This is your dream, not mine. I followed you to protect you, but you don't need my protection anymore. You're fine on your own. So, perhaps it's time I move down a rank and protect something else that's precious to you." She gave a tiny smile, but her hair covered her eyes. "She deserves those opportunities, too."

"She…" Roy whispered, the realization finally hitting him. "Move in with me."

Riza looked startled for a moment. "Sir, I can't do that…I have a home in East City…I take the train to work every day…"

"I know, I went there last night, remember?" He smiled and stood his voice jovial. "Move in with me. If you live in Central City, I can see you more often, even when I'm working. And just because you're not with the military doesn't mean I can't hire you as a private contractor to protect me. The possibilities are endless!"

"I don't want guns around the baby," She murmured absently. "I don't mind teaching her how to use them, or teaching her alchemy, or whatever the case may be – but I don't want guns around her while she's young."

Roy nodded in agreement and stood to close the distance between them. Kneeling down in front of her, he gently touched a hand to her cheek and pushed her hair behind her ears so he could clearly see her eyes. "Thank you, I know this was a hard decision for you. You didn't have to do this for me."

She moved her hand to maternally rest on her abdomen where she looked at him with quiet amber eyes. "I did it because I felt it was time for me to do something right for the world. I did it because you felt so strongly about this…because she deserves a chance to grow up and be happy, like everyone else. Because killing her…makes me no better than that woman I was at war."

"Hawkeye, it's okay." He gently touched her hand with his, using his thumb to caress her tears away. "It's going to get better from here, I swear. But I want you to know that I won't leave your side." He smiled sadly. "I don't have a ring. I wish I did. But I want to marry you, Lieutenant. I have since the day I came to live with you. I knew I wanted to spend my life with you."

"Sir, I…"

He cut her off and continued. "I know it's a leap of faith for you, you're not used to commitment. But you're no longer bound by the laws of the military. You can do this, please. I'm sure he'll want a real family, and not some half-assed thing we call a family."

"It's Elizabeth." She answered her voice small. "And we're having a girl."

"Not if I have any say in it," He said with a smirk. "Now, where were we? Oh, right. Marry me, Hawkeye."

Her body trembled slightly as she broke down in tears. "Of course I want to marry you. I'd be stupid to say no."

"I'm glad you see it my way," He answered, bringing her close. She shifted so she was on the floor with him, her hands covering her face while he wrapped his arms around her slender frame. "I love you."

"I know."

We're just gonna say that Riza's OOC-ness is because of her hormones. I've wanted to do a "daddy Roy" story for a while. This time, I don't plan on killing anyone. ;)

Read and review, please?