Course 1: The Kidnapping
Atobe was sitting near a fountain admiring himself in a mirror, while at same time managing to act Atobe-ish… In a white fur coat?! Why he had the audacity to wear a fur coat in the middle of the summer was beyond anyone's understanding.
"Ah, this is the best!" Atobe said as he whipped out a self-made statue of himself.
He looked towards where his usual crowd of fangirls was standing, but instead of them he saw Hiyoshi and Takashi.
"Ore-sama demands to know-!" Atobe started, but before he could finish Hiyoshi had gagged him and Taka-san was tying his legs together so he couldn't run away. Or kick anyone while being transported.
"Sorry Atobe-san, I've got orders from Couch to take you to him immediately. Kawamura-kun, if you'd please." Hiyoshi said politely. In his head he muttered 'Gekokujyou!' just for the heck of it.
"Ah, s-sorry Atobe-kun." Kawamura replied nervously. Hiyoshi sighed and gave Taka-san his racket.
"Oh, thanks… YOSH! BURNING! Let's go!" Taka-san said as he picked up Atobe and prepared to start running.
"Um… Our ride is that way, Kawamura-kun." Hiyoshi said as he sweat dropped.
"Oh… I knew that…" Taka-san muttered. Hiyoshi patted Taka-san on the head and mumbled something about Gekokujyou and how he was a better cook than Oshitari.
Meanwhile, somewhere that wasn't really anywhere, err… Somewhere else in Tokyo, Fuji, Ryoma, and Momo were having an eating contest. At least Ryoma and Momo were. Fuji had eaten a couple of burgers and finished with a nice refreshing bowl of wasabi ice cream.
Fuji left to wash his hand, but when he came back all the customers in the restaurant were gone! They were replaced by Kikumaru, who seemed to have an evil aura around him. Kikumaru popped a piece of Anago in his mouth, and turned towards Fuji.
"Ni hao?" he asked cheerfully.
"Oh? Saa Eiji, happy birthday! And what happened to all the other…" Fuji trailed off as he felt the presence of two people behind him.
"Sorry for the bother, Fuji-senpai. Could you please come with us?" Ryoma asked.
"Oi Echizen, use more force! Being polite to the victim never solved anything! Never does." Momo sighed playfully.
"Che, it's your funeral. Fuji-senpai, we won't have to gag you unless you start talk too much, which is abnormal for you. Kikumaru-senpai, we should leave before someone thinks we're actually kidnapping Fuji-senpai." Ryoma said as he magically appeared behind Fuji with some rope, which he used to tied Fuji up.
"Huh?" Fuji said with an utterly confused and surprised expression on his face.
Not to far way from there, Kintaroh was outside a story after purchasing some onigiri.
"Yay! After losing to Koshibawa, I thought I'd never get any onigiri again…" He said before devouring one of the onigiri.
"Ehem, you're coming with us!" A voice said sharply.
Kintaroh turned around and saw a tall guy with a black cap in his hand. He was wearing a blue kendo uniform and had his other hand on his sword, and it didn't look wooden. To his left were a tall person with silver hair and a mischievous grin on his face, a demonic looking guy with messy hair, and a guy who seem like a nice person.
"Sanada-kun, don't go scaring the kid. We want him to follow us, not run away screaming about an insane person with a sword trying to kidnap him…" Yagyuu commented.
"Heh. Yagyuu, have you seen his expression? He's already scared of us. Oi, your name's Kintaroh, right? Don't even think of running away because the little kiddo over there loves chasing people, puri." Niou said.
"Niou-senpai, I'm not a kid anymore, and I don't like chasing anything, except when I play tennis." Kirihara growled.
"Heh puri, whatever you say kiddo." Niou said with a shrug.
"Niou-kun, don't provoke Akaya. It's bad for your health as well as the health of the other people that have to put up with him afterwards." Yagyuu sighed.
"Can we get on with this? Kintaroh, come on." Shiraishi said as he played with the bandages on his arm.
"H-hai, bucho!" Kintaroh said. He eyed the bandages warily. He still believed his bucho had a poisonous arm that could kill him. Niou laughed and Sanada glared at the group as they go into the nearby limo.
Derrrrrrrrrrrricious!! Hah, food is good!
After Atobe and Kintaroh regained consciousness, they found they were stuck in the same room with Fuji. He hadn't woken up yet.
"Ugh, where are we? And who are you…?" Kintaroh groaned. His stomach growled loudly. "And what time is it? I'm hungry… Come on you people untie me!"
"Ore-sama demands you to SHUT UP!" Atobe shouted.
Fuji woke with a start and then glared grumpily at the source of the noise… Well he tried to, but he couldn't because he was tied to a chair that was conveniently positioned so that he could only see the door to his left and the large window to his right.
"Both of you shut up, especially you Kintaroh! We're all tied up so we'll have to work together to get out of these stupid ropes." Fuji said grumpily. Sleepy Fuji was as grumpy as Kyoya today.
Half an hour later, Fuji was much less sleepy and they had finally gotten themselves untied. Unfortunately all their bickering made them even hungrier.
"Now we have to breakout… It's convenient that this window is so large. Hmm, now if I could just open it…" Fuji thought as he shuffled over to the large window. He attempted to open it, but it didn't budge. "I knew it. I'm too tired from hunger." Fuji sighed.
As he moved away from the window, Atobe examined it. Kintaroh picked up his chair and attempted to break the window, but his strength and height caused he chair to swerve towards Atobe's face.
"Keep that chair away from Ore-sama's face!" Atobe shouted as he caught the chair.
"Oi you two stop playing and let's go. The doors opened." Fuji said as he tipped toed out of the room.
"Why are we-?" Kintaroh started, but Fuji grabbed him and shoved him into a wall and whispered angrily for him to be quieter. He mentioned something about Kintaroh's untimely death if they were caught again. Then they were off again; in search of food, water, whatever was reasonable to eat.
They snuck around the area for about fifteen minutes and in the process, Fuji found a silver spoon, which he washed in a nearby sink.
"Saa, what a nice spoon. I think I'll call you Gin. Let's be friends." Fuji whispered cheerfully.
Suddenly, Kintaroh perked up and sniffed the air.
"What's up with him?" Atobe asked Fuji, but Fuji wasn't paying any attention to them.
"I smell food!" Kintaroh whispered loudly before running off.
"O-oi! Kintaroh, slow down!" Atobe said as rushed after the freshman. Fuji looked up from the book he'd found lying on a nearby chair and easily caught up with Kintaroh.
Luckily, Kintaroh was 'speed' zigzagging towards the food, which meant he was only 50 or so meters ahead of the other kidnappees(1). Fuji realized this and slowed down, while Atobe barreled past him and ran into a wall.
"Atobe, you're an idiot!" Fuji laughed.
Kintaroh smacked a fist into the palm of his hand and said, "Ah! So his name's Atobe."
"That's right, Kintaroh. The idiot that ran into the wall up head is Atobe." Fuji said as he patted Kintaroh's shoulder.
Atobe slide down the wall. Then he turned around, glowering at Fuji. He yelled at Fuji about how he could have warned him before he ran into the wall. Fuji merely chuckled and told Kintaroh to lead the way once again. Kintaroh, being the clueless happy-go-lucky person he was, did so without question. Atobe glared at Fuji, but followed because he felt his stomach grow emptier with every passing second and he feared he would soon passed out from hunger.
Scooby Doo music played in the background while the group power walked down the long corridors of the building. They occasionally stopped to open a door and check the contents of the room. This ensued for about five minutes. Then Fuji stopped them and asked why there was Scooby Doo music in the background and wondered it was coming from.
"It's obviously there to be distracting and to make us feel like we're part of a movie or TV show of some sort." Atobe sighed.
Kintaroh whispered loudly about how it would be extremely cool to be on a TV show about cooking. Atobe commented about the stupidity of the statement, but little did he know, the group was in a building that had video equipment and taught cooking.
Finally, after a total of about an hour of walking in circles, Kintaroh stopped in front of a set of double doors. Fuji glanced behind then and nearly did a face plant.
"We're only a few doors down from that room we were tied up in." Fuji commented dully.
"WHAT?! You mean this peasant has been leading us around in a big circle for the past hour?!" Atobe shouted
"Now, now Atobe… There's no need to yell. And no, he's lead us around in about seven circles. I counted." Fuji said calmly. He was clearly enjoying Atobe's rage.
"That's even worse! If I ever get something to eat, I'll thank that kid with a whack on the head!" Atobe shouted.
Fuji glared at Atobe with his 'just shut up and open the stupid door' glare. Atobe took a few deep breaths and roughly shoved the double doors wide open. They walked in a instantly stopped to stare at all the colors.
"This place looks like a TV show set. Looks like you were right, Kintaroh. Hmm… Iron Chief maybe? No, that can't be it. There are way too many colors." Fuji muttered.
Atobe shouted in English, "Look! FOOD!"
Towards the back of the room were three long tables covered with different kinds of foods. Kintaroh spotted a plate with onigiri and rushed over. Fuji watched and Atobe and Kintaroh ran to the tables and started commenting on how he wasn't that hungry, but his stomach growled loudly. He sighed and walked over to the table.
"Oi, you can't eat that!" A voice shouted.
The group whipped around - Fuji turned around normally because he still hadn't reached the table – and saw Tezuka standing nearby along with Sanada who had a wooden sword in one hand, while his other hand was prepared to draw his real sword.
"Oh? Since when did you cook Tezuka?" Fuji said cheerfully.
"Mada mada dane. Fuji-senpai, that's Niou-senpai. By the way, nice spoon. From the looks of it, it's made of silver." Ryoma muttered. He once again had magically appeared behind Fuji.
"Puri! Aw Echizen, you ruined my awesome disguise! My Tezuka impression is to be feared! I sounded just like him, right? Oi Hiroshi, let's play tag!" Niou said playfully.
"That's Yagyuu to you Niou-san." Yagyuu said pointedly as he used his glare of DOOM on Niou. He walked over to Sanada and stood there looking all gentleman-ish.
Niou-kun, err… Niou stalked over towards Ryoma and grumbled, "The glare of DOOM is mine. And Tezuka's. Fuji has one too, but it's called 'the Tensai glare of demonic chaos.' Sanada has his backhand slap of DOOM and forehand slap of destruction. Yagyuu's supposed to use his 'Gentleman glare,' but nooooooo… He goes and steals my signature glare of DOOM. It's my glare, dammit!"
"Niou-senpai, if you're going to rant please go rant with Mukahi-san." Ryoma stated grumpily. Niou gave him the glare of DOOM, but Ryoma was immune and he countered with his special glare with no name.
Kikumaru sighed dejectedly and muttered, "How come no one said anything about my birthday? Fuji said 'happy birthday,' but that's it. Everyone else forgot! Even Oishi, and he's my doubles partner!"
"Eh? Oh yeah… Happy birthday Kikumaru-senpai. I'll give you your present in a few hours…" Kaidoh muttered.
"Che, what's with all the ranting today? Sorry Kikumaru-senpai, but we were going to give you a s-" Ryoma started, but Momo stopped him from saying it.
"Nya? What was that?" Kikumaru asked.
"A surprise ice cream cone, we were going to give a surprise ice cream cone." Ryoma said.
"'We'?"
"Niou-senpai, Gingles, and I because Niou-senpai still owes me from that bet." Ryoma said with a mischievous grin.
"W-what?! Why bring Gingles into this? He has nothing to do with that bet!" Niou argued.
"Aww… Come on, Niou-senpai! It'll be fun! I'll help, too." Kirihara grinned as well.
Niou backed away from the two hesitantly as their grins too a turn for the worst and became almost demonic (almost because Ryoma doesn't have a demonic grin). He tried to run away, but a few minutes after he exited the room everyone could hear him yelling for Ryoma and Kirihara to give his shoes back.
Oshitari appeared along with all the other kidnappers, Ryuzaki-sensei, and Sakaki-sensei.
"You might wan to leave him alone. Niou-kun is a little grumpy today." Yagyuu told him. Oshitari thanked him. Then, he whipped out a bottle of green tea and started drinking it. The kidnappees glared at him as if he'd just killed someone because they were hungry.
"Ok guys, please stop having glaring contests and put away the distractions so that I only have to tell the kidnappee group his once." Ryuzaki yelled. The kidnapper group complied quickly because they smart enough to do so without question.
"Alright, now you guys are unofficially our hostages. "For what" you ask? I have no idea! In order to get some of the delicious looking food behind us, you must prepare a dish for our judges. All the other 'kidnappers' must leave the room in fifteen minutes."
Meanwhile somewhere reasonable far away, Tezuka's shoelaces broke when he was trying to tie them. He sighed and wondered the rest of the team was doing that could possibly have given him bad luck.
In yet another place, Yuuta attempted call home when he realized his couldn't get any reception from this part of town. As he walked around looking for a place where he could get a signal a flock of crows flew above his head. He wondered aloud about what his older brother could possibly be doing.
Back at the school/TV station/kitchen/whatever the room is, Ryuzaki had asked for who would participate in the cooking to eat competition. Kintaroh refused, but Fuji and Atobe instantly agreed. Sakaki grabbed a frying pan and handed it to Atobe. And the two walked over to the counter and began their cooking… sort of.
Atobe gingerly placed a fish into a frying pan and backed away fearfully as it hissed angrily. Fuji, on the other hand, had an egg in on hand and Gin in the other and was contemplating what he should make.
"Excuse me. I need some water." Atobe muttered as he reached over Fuji to grab a cup of water. Somehow he bumped Fuji's hand, causing Gin to land in the pan with the burning fish and the egg to crashing the ground.
"No! Gin, look out!" Fuji said as he watched in land in the pan in slow motion.
Fuji stared at his spoon, which by now was a tarnished brown from the fish. Then he slowly turned around and opened his eyes while growling, "Y-O-U!"
Atobe backed away from him with the cup of water forgotten. Fuji grabbed a knife from the table and slowly advanced towards Atobe, while using his 'Tensai glare of demonic chaos.'
In panic, Atobe tried reasoning with Fuji.
"Let's be reasonable, Fuji. P-put that knife own and we can talk about this." He stuttered weakly. It obviously didn't work.
Just when it looked like Fuji was about to stab Atobe, a voice shouted, "That's enough!"
破滅のロンド Rondo Towards Destruction! Hah!
Hahaha… This is the product of my boredom while watching a random yet extremely amusing TV drama involving cooking and Tenimyu actors: Aiba Hiroki (2nd - 3rd cast Fuji Syuusuke), (first cast Kikumaru), and Kawai Ryounosuke(Hiyoshi). I hope you guys found this funny.
(1) Incase you didn't know, kidnappee is a made up word which pretty much means a person who was/is/has been kidnapped. Duh!