Written in reply to my own prompt on the Dragon Age Kink meme, in which, after the way Hawke crushed his hopes, Fenris thinks he can never say no to sex if he wants to keep his relationship with Anders. I also attempted to incorporate a second prompt, Tears, which requested a vulnerable Fenris in tears being comforted by someone else.

Convergence

Chapter 1: Hawke

He had come to Fenris' house with the best of intentions, he really had. They were friends, after all, and the elf was bound to be reeling from his recent encounter with Danarius, all Hawke had meant to do was lend a sympathetic ear. Then Fenris had brought up that night.

"We have never discussed what happened between us three years ago."

"You didn't want to talk about it." (Don't go there now.)

"I felt like a fool. I thought it better if you hated me, I deserve no less, but it isn't better. That night - I remember your touch as if it were yesterday. I should have asked your forgiveness long ago. I hope you can forgive me now."

Forgiveness? He wanted forgiveness for ripping his heart out? He had granted all the forgiveness he was ever going to grant by allowing it to remain unspoken between them, by remaining his friend, there was to be no more forgiveness involved. He had cared for the elf, could even have come to love him in time, and even though he had been over him for some time, the resentment was still there, so unless Fenris was going to tell him that Danarius had cast an elaborate spell on him that made him leave his lovers' beds straight after the fact and never mention it again, a blood magic ritual that only ended with the magister's death, he had better stop talking now.

"I need to understand why you left, Fenris."

"I've thought about the answer a thousand times. The pain, the memories it brought up - it was too much. I was a coward. If I could go back, I would stay. Tell you how I felt."

That was it? After three years he had the nerve to bring it up only to say he'd been a coward? Andraste's tits, yes, he'd been a coward, but that much was a given. Fenris better not suddenly decide to proclaim his love for him now that it no longer mattered, after having made him suffer, or he'd wring his neck.

"What would you have said?"

"Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you."

Hawke got up then, seething, glad for the height advantage that allowed him to tower over the other man. In that moment, looking at Fenris' hopeful eyes, all the hurt came bubbling up and he forgot they were friends for just long enough to fiercely hate the elf. He'd been kind and civil, but today Fenris was going to find out just how bad he could be left hurting. Then tomorrow they would not speak of it, and then they would be back on even terms.

"You rejected me - you left even though I asked you to stay - and now that I'm the Champion you thought I'd take you back? You and your issues and your miserable excuses? An elf with more hatred than sense who will never stop being a slave no matter how many masters he kills? I woke up thinking of having you again that night, wanting to show you how it could be like, you denied me, walked away and didn't mention it for three years and you hope I can forgive you? Let me make something clear: the only reason why I didn't give you back to Danarius today is because I'm against slavery on principle. Don't you dare ask for forgiveness after what you did."

Fenris' eyes widened and Hawke could see the hurt there. Good, he thought, savagely, let him be the one to suffer now.

"You want my forgiveness? Kneel", he said coldly, "if nothing is worse than living without me then prove it and kneel."

Fenris stood staring at him, mouth half open in shock. Then his features changed into a mask of rage, he gritted his teeth and uttered a single word.

"Leave."

"Ah. Not going to kneel, then. Unsurprising. Next time you think to tell someone that nothing could be worse than this or that, make sure you mean it."

He turned to leave the mansion, oddly exhilarated from having finally gotten rid of what had festered for three years, then casually said, without even turning back, "I expect you to be ready tomorrow to go to the Gallows and see what Meredith wants if there's a shred of honour in you. And I expect you not to bring this up again, you know, goose, gander and all that?"

At some point during the night, between petting his mabari and replying to the seemingly self-replenishing pile of letters on his desk, it crossed his mind that he might have been a tad too hard on Fenris, but he dismissed the thought. It was high time the elf learned that Hawke could give as good as he got, after all