I got bored during class, and thus, this is what you get.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I own the general plot to Snow White, although the copyright on that may have run out, I think... The author's lifetime plus seventy years, right? Eh, who cares, let's just get on with this.

Warning: This WILL get off topic A LOT

Once upon a time, in a far,far, FAR away land, deep within the recesses of a few people's twisted imaginations, there lived a beautiful (but just as helpless) heiress to a prominent clan in the village of Konoha. This girl was a shy, graceful byakugan user (the clan's special kekki genkai). The heiress, Hyuuga Hinata (Snow White), went to the academy to train hard, like all of the other ninja children, in hopes of one day becoming a brave and strong ninja, and finally having the courage to ask out her crush, the local dimwit, Uzumaki Naruto.

But Hinata wasn't alone in her endeavors, oh no. There was one other who was vying for her precious Naruto-kun's affections. A dark, wicked boy from Konoha's other prominent clan, Uchiha Sasuke (Darth Emo).

"Hold it!"

Huh? *looks around* Who said that?

"Down here! On the paper, you idiot!"

Huh? *looks down* Holy shiz, my imagination is talking to me! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE GONE EASY ON THE ACID THIS MORNING!

"… What are you talking about? It's three in the afternoon."

'CAUSE IT'S NINE IN THE AFTERNOOOOOOON AND YOU'RE EYES ARE THE SIZE OF THE MOOOOOON~! YOU COULD 'CAUSE YOU CAN SO YOU DOOOOOOO~~~!

"SHUT UP!"

o.o … sorry….. So, what can I do for ya, Emo Kid?

"Emo?"

Nevermind, Ass for brains.

*growl* "Anyway, I'm not trying for that IDIOT's attention. My goal is to-"

Kill your, much better (not to mention hotter) brother, Itachi. Yeah, I know already. But alas for thy woes, I care not. 'Sides, so far, if you haven't noticed, you're the only one objecting.

"So?"

So, welcome to America. If you want something done or you want change, form a committee, or have people sign a petition or something. 'Till then Uke-Sauce, you gotta listen to me.

"And if I don't?"

Then I use my mighty power to force you to 'play' with Orochimaru and Madara.

"… You wouldn't…"

And just then, Orochimaru and Madara appeared in Sasuke's room, both n-

"OH DEAR LORD! I-I mean, just get rid of them. I'll do whatever you say."

^.^ Good boy.

The Uchiha clan also had a cool ability. They had the plagiarist-I mean Sharingan. With it they could plagiarize- I mean copy techniques with their magical eyes… Not that it really matters in this story, but I just felt the need to mention it.

Uchiha Sasuke was madly in love with Naruto and wanted to keep this adorable knuckle-head all to himself.

"Hey, do I really have to wear this dress?"

Yes. Would you rather not?

"Duh."

Fine then, give me a minute.

Anywho, he worked long and hard (that's what she said) to get Naruto to return his feelings and every morning, he would sit shirtless upon his hard, dusty floor, cold and alone, clad only in his boxers...

"Are you trying to make the fangirls storm my house?"

No, just make them kidnap you, tie you up, lock you in their lair and never let you see the light of day again.

"...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

I'm not very fond of you. Hell, I like Orochimaru AND Kabuto more than I like you.

"You sick, sick woman!"

... While Orochimaru and Kabuto stood behind him, ready to strap him to a table and...

"I GET THE POINT!"

Right-o then. Scratch that last part.

...and gaze (glare) upon his magic scroll and chant:

"What?"

Psst, you're supposed to chant.

"What do you want me to say?"

I dunno! Improvise!

"Hn."

And he would chant:

"Oh great spirit of the ancient scroll, who is Naruto's true love, I have to know!"

That doesn't rhyme.

"It's the best I could come up with. Do you think that you can do any better?"

Yes, actually, but I'm too lazy.

And every day, the spirit would appear and tell him,

"What the- Why am I here!"

"You brought in the Hyuuga, really?"

Well Snow White doesn't get any loving family, so I obviously wasn't going to put him on Hinata's side. Besides, now I have the two of you in a room, alone, together, shirtless. *snaps a few pics* These are going to worth a fortune on Ebay! YAY FOR FANSERVICE!

"What's going on?"

"Don't try and fight it. Just go along with it and hopefully, things won't get any worse. Trust me."

"And why should I trust you, Uchiha?"

"Hmph, why should I trust you, Hyuuga?"

"I'm not asking you to trust me, I'm asking you to-"

Girls, girls, you're both pretty. Now I'm giving you two minutes to sort things out while I go and get some soda. *walks away*

-insert two minute intermission-

*comes back with Neji staring up at me intently*

What?

"What do you want me to tell him?"

Well you sure are taking this well. Improvise.

And he would say:

"His beating heart belongs to you, because your friendship with him is true."

See Sasuke! Neji can do it!

Then one day, it all changed. As usual, Sasuke woke up early in the morning and pulled out his scroll from under his bed.

"Oh great spirit, gentle as a dove, please tell me, who is Naruto's true love?"

Nice. I knew you had it in you, Sasu! Though, I have to admit, that was kinda lame.

"I'd like to see you do any better!"

Lazy~

The great spirit, Neji, appeared as always, as the sun's rays highlighted him in all his shirtless glory.

"Why must I be shirtless?"

Sasuke is too.

"And? I have more dignity than that."

Deal with it.

The great spirit responded:

"His heart has found room for another, shall I reveal the name of this other?"

"Tell me who! Who has taken my place in his heart away?"

"The sweet Hinata, in his heart now stays."

These words caused Sasuke to fill with rage and so he called upon the great weapon's mistress, Tenten, to kill Hinata.

"…"

Ahem.

*sigh* "Oh Tenten, come here."

The huntress came post-haste, eager to know why she had been called.

"What do you wa-" *see's Neji shirtless* "-nt?"

"Kill Hinata."

*Drooling*

"Tenten!"

"Huh?"

"The Uchiha said to go kill my cousin."

"Oh, sorry." And away she went. She traveled far to reach the Hyuuga compound and carefully lured Hinata away with a very elaborate and meticulously devised plan.

"Hey, Hinata, wanna train together?"

"O-okay, Tenten-san."

*facepalm*

So Tenten led Hinata deep into the forest.

"Listen, Hinata," she said. "I don't know why, but His Royal Hotn- I mean the Uchiha, wants you dead."

"Oh no!" Hinata cried. Just then, Tenten stepped off to one side. Before them was a long, dark path, into the woods Hinata had to go, but she was frightened by the cawing of a single crow.

"Can we stop the rhyme scheme?"

Eh, sure. I suck at this anyway.

"A-Ano, e-excuse me, m-miss, but do I r-really h-have to go i-in there?"

No, if you want, Tenten can just kill you here and save me the writ…ing? Where'd she go?

"You scared her."

Ah… oh well. We might as well just end this here for now until we find her again... Wave goodbye to the Readers, Tenten, since you're not going to get anymore screentime for a WHILE.

*sigh* "I'm used to it." *waves* Bye! Be sure to review!