Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately.
Author's note: So I basically watched the entire first season of Kuroshitsiju in two days and completely fell in love with the show. This is my first attempt at writing fanfic for it, so apologies to any mistakes in characterization. I haven't seen the second part yet, so I have no idea what happens beyond season one.
His Lizzy, Envious
© Deceptive Flower, January 2012
Paula was worried about her, Elizabeth knew that much. For all her persuasions that she was fine, her maid knew better than to believe it. Elizabeth may be a cheerful person by nature, but when she fell to depression it was something to be noticed. Paula, dutiful woman that she was, recognised that emotion almost immediately and aimed to rectify it.
Elizabeth Midford's rather sudden departure from the Phantomhive estate earlier that afternoon had been the first signal to the young maid that something about her mistress was off. Always so enthusiastic, when Elizabeth left the home of her fiancé with little more than a small smile, Paula knew immediately that she had to attend to the girl's qualms.
For the better part of the carriage ride back to the Midford estate, there had been a heavy silence hanging in the air save for the sounds of the horses' hooves clip-clopping against the cobblestone streets. Elizabeth's uncharacteristically pensive stare out the window had Paula in stitches of worry for the young girl. Lady Elizabeth was never so down-trodden.
"My lady," Paula's quiet soprano interrupted the near silence of the carriage ride. "Are you alright?"
The sudden intrusion of her maid's voice shook Elizabeth from her thoughts and she slowly raised her gaze to the young maid across from her. Such a silly question. Of course she was alright. Better than alright, even. Elizabeth had no reason to be sad. Not when her darling fiancé, Earl Ciel Phantomhive, was alive and - at least for the most part - doing well. That was all she had ever wanted for him. To be well. Happy.
The girl looked at her maid with what she hoped was an earnest expression. "I'm fine, Paula. Really."
Paula didn't quite seem to accept this answer, pausing as if about to speak, then shutting her mouth as if she had thought better than to do so.
Elizabeth's gaze returned to the window, the lighted street lamps outside casting long shadows along the cobblestone path as they moved forward. "Paula…" she paused, lips suddenly set in a firm line. "Do you think I am a nuisance? To Ciel, I mean."
Paula, not surprisingly, sat straighter in her seat and waved her hands in a frantic effort to quell the young lady's worries. "Oh, no! Of course not, Lady Elizabeth! Ciel loves you! I'm sure you make him very happy."
Elizabeth found herself frowning. "Then why does he not smile anymore? I… I try so hard. I try to be a perfect lady like mother taught me. I try to make him happy. I really do. And I feel… I feel like the harder I try, the further he pushes me away." Her gaze turned downcast as she began twisting her gloved fingers together in her lap. Her mother would be furious to see how wrinkled they were. "I just want to see him happy again, Paula." She gave her maid an imploring look.
Paula seemed to consider Elizabeth's words. "Is this… what has you troubled, Miss Elizabeth?"
Elizabeth nodded once. "I know it sounds silly, Paula. I shouldn't burden you with my childish problems."
"It's not silly at all," Paula gave a soft smile that, for the briefest of moments, reminded her of her late aunt, Rachel Phantomhive. "I cannot claim to understand what it must be like in your position, but I know you love Earl Phantomhive very much."
"I do," Elizabeth managed a small smile. "And that's why I'll do all I can to make Ciel smile again."
"It's an admirable goal, my lady," Paula told her. "Why, between you and that butler of his, Earl Phantomhive will be all smiles in no time!"
Elizabeth knew Paula hadn't meant any harm by the comment, rather that it was meant to be encouraging. All the same, she felt herself flinching at the word 'butler' and her skin crawl with an emotion she wasn't quite used to. Paula, of course, noticed instantly and regretted saying anything to her young charge.
"Lady Elizabeth? Did I say something to upset you?"
"I don't like that Sebastian," Elizabeth pouted, ignoring Paula's questioning gaze. "He does everything so… right. He takes care of Ciel. He keeps him safe; protects him. That should be me, Paula! I'm his fiancée!" Her head snapped up, green eyes sharpened with a sense of determination.
It was then that Paula realised just what exactly troubled the young girl in front of her. It wasn't just about making the Earl smile. Reaching forward, she placed her slender hand over Elizabeth's and squeezed in a reassuring manner. "Lady Elizabeth," she spoke softly, "you have no reason to envy Sebastian Michaelis. If I might say, he is only a butler."
"And you are only a maid," Elizabeth countered. "But I still consider you a friend, Paula." Even with her soured mood, she returned the smile.
"I appreciate that, Miss." Paula leaned back once more, relaxing against the seat as she wondered how to ease her young lady's mind. "But I do think you have nothing to worry about, if I may be inclined to say so. Mr. Michaelis will never take your place in Earl Phantomhive's life. That I am certain of."
Elizabeth seemed to consider Paula's words for a few minutes. Then, the barest hint of a smile formed on her lips. "Do you really think so, Paula? I know Ciel doesn't ever voice his feelings on things. He's changed a lot since... well... you know..." she bit her lip. "But do you really think so?"
Paula smiled. "I have no doubt. Now," she glanced out the carriage window to see the estate's silhouette in the distance, "Once we get inside, how about I make us a nice hot cup of tea? How does that sound?"
"It sounds wonderful. Thank you." Elizabeth smiled, and neither she nor Paula felt the need to say anything further as the gloomy mood of the ride home finally seemed to evaporate.
Tell me what you think?