Hi everyone! It's me again! I know, two posts in one day, impressive right? I should be working on my Brit Lit paper right now, but this idea popped into my head and would not leave me alone! It's like it pointed a gun at my head and said, "WRITE ME, DAMN IT!!" And so, who was I to refuse?
This is an angsty little sasunaru implied deathfic songfic. (That's a mouthful) I guess I can't be happy unless Naruto is broken and bleeding. -.-' Anyway, on to the official crap...
DISCLAIMER: I own neither Naruto nor the song Without You from RENT. However, if my world domination plan works, that will soon change... :evil laugh:
WARNINGS:This contains implied yaoi! Also: mild swearing, angst, and implied character death.
That's it! Read on!
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8
Without you,
The ground thaws,
The rain falls,
The grass grows.
It's hard to believe that it's spring again. For the longest time I believed that spring would never come again. Yet here it is. Gone and melted is the ice and snow. Gone are the dark and lonely days. Yet they're not gone. I don't know if the cold and loneliness will ever leave me.
Without you,
The seeds root,
The flowers bloom,
The children play.
You know bastard, you could have let me know that you had house plants. They were just about dead when I found them. They're doing better now though. I think they might even bloom this year.
By the way, did you know the Lee and Sakura finally got married? They have a son now. He has his mother's eyebrows, thank Kami. He really is cute. It's amazing how much we've changed, how much we've grown. Years have passed, but it seems only like days.
The stars gleam,
The poets dream.
The eagles fly,
Without you.
The stars are so beautiful tonight. It makes me remember all those nights we used to spend on the Hokage monument just looking at the sky, just enjoying each other's company. It always seemed like we could just reach up and pluck them like ripe fruit. But now they seem cold and distant and far beyond my reach... like you.
I've been on a few missions. I'm ANBU now, I wonder if you know? So much for being a dobe, huh? Nobody calls me that anymore. Nobody really calls me Naruto now either. They call me Uzumaki or Uzumaki-sama.
The earth turns,
The sun burns,
But I die,
Without you.
Those first few days after you left where unbearable. I didn't speak and I didn't eat. Tsunade baa-chan finally had to put me into a coma just so that I could sleep and heal a bit.
I think that's when I started becoming Uzumaki. When I first came out of the coma, I tried to keep up the illusion of happiness. I tried to laugh and smile and joke around like I used to, but it was pointless. I slowly became quiet. In some ways it was a good thing. Once I took the time to listen, I began to learn things more quickly.
Sometimes though, I look back and regret. When old friends look at me with sorrow, I regret becoming more distant. When Iruka-sensei gazes at me with hurt and worry when I tell him I'm too busy to go and get ramen, I regret. When I see happy couples walking down the street holding hands, I regret.
I regret making them worry.
I regret becoming cold and distant.
I regret throwing myself into my work above all else.
I regret forgetting how to smile.
I regret not being able to move on.
But not you. I'll never regret you.
Without you,
The stars roar,
The breeze warms,
The girl smiles,
The cloud moves.
I still hang out with the old gang now and then. They get too worried if I don't. Hinata's dating Kiba. They seem so happy, like we used to be...
Shika's still a cloud watcher. We've become closer over the years. He never asks for explanations, he never asks if I'm okay. We just lay back and watch the clouds. I understand why he does that now. It's peaceful to just lay back and not think. Whenever I think, my thoughts always turn to you...
Without you,
The tides change,
The boys run,
The oceans crash.
I went to visit the Land of the Waves a while back. The "Great Naruto Bridge" is still there of course. I wonder how long it will remain standing after I'm gone. Tens of years? Hundreds? Thousands? How many men women and children will cross it in that time? How long is forever?
I asked you that once, remember? That night just before we were about to sleep, you whispered: "I'll love you forever." So, I asked you, "How long is forever?" Do you remember what you replied? "Forever is forever. It goes beyond this life and the next one. And the one after that if there is one. You're never going to be able to get rid of me."
It was a beautiful lie. Beautiful, but a lie none the less.
The crowds roar,
The days soar,
The babies cry,
Without you.
Another year come and gone. Konohamaru passed his Chunin Exam. It's hard to believe he's that old already! So many days gone by, so many ninja growing up, getting married, having children. How is it that the days go by so quickly and yet still seem like eternity?
The moon glows,
The river flows,
But I die,
Without you.
I'm standing on the old bridge where team Kakashi used to meet. An eternity ago and yesterday. Kakashi-sensei is still a perv. He's back in the ANBU now. After Sakura, Sai, and I turned 16 and went our separate ways, he said that he didn't want to do any more teaching for a while. I guess I don't blame him. We really were quite a handful.
Speaking of Kakashi, I don't think me meant me to hear, but he recently told Iruka that I look more and more like a ghost each day. I know it's not just because I look so much like the fourth. I can feel it myself. It feels like my life is just slipping away from me, like sand through fingers. It's not that I'm not eating or taking care of myself.
I guess...
I just can't live without you...
The world revives—
Spring again, another year without you.
Tsunade is worried about me. She's taken me off active duty and put me in the hospital for a while, just to keep an eye on me. I could have told her it wouldn't help, but i don't want to worry her more.
Colors renew—
My friends visit, bring flowers and ramen. I'm glad to see them. I talk for as long as they are there, and smile and laugh like I haven't in a long time. That's how I want them to remember me.
That's how I want to say goodbye.
But I know blue,
Only blue,
Lonely blue,
Within me blue.
Without you.
The blankets on the bed are a dark navy blue. You would like them. You always had a thing for blue. I remember that I once asked you what you liked best about me. You didn't even hesitate when you said my eyes. You said my eyes were the color of the sky after a night of cleansing rain. I wonder what you'd say if you knew my eyes where gray now?
Without you,
The hand gropes,
The ear hears,
The pulse beats.
Tsunade has me under constant surveillance now. Machines beep and whir assuring everyone that I'm still alive, that I'm still there.
Without you,
The eyes gaze,
The legs walk,
The lungs breathe.
I stare at the ceiling too tired to turn my head to look out the window. I haven't been able to get out of bed by myself for a week now. Death is close. I can feel his breath on my neck.
The mind churns! (The mind churns!)
I asked Kyuubi way it was I was dying. Why he wasn't curing me, healing me. He reached a tail out of his cage and laid it on my chest and spoke:
The heart yearns! (The heart yearns!)
'I can't cure a broken heart, Kit.'
The tears dry,
Without you.
Tonight's my last night. I don't know how I know, but I do. My eyes flit over to nin who is assigned to watch over me tonight. They've fallen asleep. I'm glad. I've never liked crying in front of others.
The tears I've been holding back since the day you left stream down my face until I can cry no more. I can feel the salt drying to my face, but I make no move to brush it away. Instead, I close my eyes.
Life goes on,
But I'm gone.
Cause I die,
Without you.
Outside i can hear the sounds of Konoha. Even though it's night, I can still hear her breathing, hear her moving. I'll miss her. There's been good times and bad in this city, but I'll still miss her. I'll miss all my friends. All the memories.
Goodbye, goodbye. I'm sorry I'm leaving. I'm sorry that I never made it to being Hokage.
Good bye.
Without you.
I'll miss you...
Without you.
I love you...
Without you.
Sasuke...
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
So, what did you think? Should I make a sequel? Does Naruto really die? Does Sasuke ever find out? Am I a sicko Narutard?
R&R! Comments and questions welcomed. All can review, even w/o an account. Flames accepted. I'm a pyro after all!
Until next time! Love and Peace!