Guess whose back. It's the7eyesmask. I don't own Evangelion. Gainax does. Don't sue me. Any movie quotes are property of that movie and its owners. And now the7eyesmask presents:
Shinji Ikari: Nice Dreams
"That's it!" Shinji shouted at Auska.
All the times Auska hit him and yelled at him were forgivable, but this wasn't. She took the remote control and hit him with it when he refused to give it to her. To top it all off, she changed the channel. "You don't change the channel when a guy is in TV Trance mode, especially when MacGyver is on."
"What are you going to do about it, Baka?" Auska asked.
Shinji then sucked in all the air he could and shouted, "I CHALLENGE THE WORLD CHAMPION OF BEING A BITCH, AUSKA LANGLEY SORYU!"
The living room instantly changed into a boxing stadium with a full crowd. Shinji was in one corner in a set of boxing shorts, shoes, and gloves. Auska was in the opposite corner with close to the same attire except for a sports bra.
Kensuke was in his corner with a first aid kit. He was his cut man. Touji was next to him with a towel and a whistle around his neck. He was obviously his coach. Auska's crew consisted of Rei and Misato.
The lights dimmed and the crowd hushed as Pen-Pen dressed in a tuxedo walked into the middle of the ring, and grabbed the microphone that had been lowered from the scaffolding.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, in this corner," pointing to Shinji, "the master of housebroken males and whining boys, Shinji Ikari!"
To Shinji it sounded like only the men were cheering for him.
"And in this corner," pointing to Auska, "the mistress of bitching and toying with boys emotions, Auska Langley Soryu."
It was mostly the girls cheering for her.
"Now," he continued "It's time to RUMBLE!"
Auska and Shinji came to the center of the ring. Gendo was the ref. "Now, I want a good clean fight, no hitting below the belt."
"Like this?" Auska said as she gave him a hard sock to the ding dongs.
"Yes, like that." Gendo repeated Auska's previous action.
Shinji was already doubled over, but he had to get up.
"Go back to your corners. When you hear the bell, come out fighting."
DING!
2 seconds later, DING!
Shinji was back in his corner with a massive cut over his eye and his nose pointing to the right. Kensuke was applying anesthetic to his wounds after shoving his nose back into place. Auska was standing on the ropes holding up her hands, taking in all the glory from the crowd.
"What do I do coach? She's too strong." Shinji asked.
Touji began thinking up a strategy, not his strong suit, but at least he was thinking.
"I've got it! Alright kid listen up, keep ya arms in a defensive stance and keep dodging. When she looks like she's about to take a break from attacking go in and start aiming for her ribs, don't give her a chance to breath."
"Can I use a horse shoe?"
"Sorry but Gendo kept them, after he turned all the horses in Tokyo 3 into glue for the Eva's armor (that sick bastard)."
DING!
Shinji carried out Touji's plan but it wasn't as successful as they had hoped. He came back with a loose jaw, a black eye, and his nose pointing to the left this time.
"Did ya get the license number?" Touji asked.
"To what?" Shinji asked in a delirious tone.
"That truck that hit ya."
"How's my nose Kensuke?"
"Broken, but I think it's an improvement from last time." Kensuke said.
They all started chuckling. Touji then put his hand on Shinji's shoulder. (insert dramatic sports movie music here.)
"Shinj,i I can end this fight right now if ya want?"
"Can't do that coach. It doesn't matter if I win or lose this fight, but if I give up now and don't go the distance then she'll have won completely."
"If that's the way ya feel kid, then we'll believe in you all the way."
DING!
Shinji was barely able to stand up, but he got in the ring with his worst opponent anyway. Auska began her salvo of punches but before Shinji could start to take them his body began to move on its own. He was dodging all of her attacks. He then came inside one of her punches and began a counter attack. First he got a right hook into the jaw, then a jab to the stomach, and finished her off with an upper cut straight to the chin.
Shinji held his arms up in the air. He was shouting something but no one could make it out it sounded like "Adrian."
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Auska and Misato were standing over Shinji in his bed. He held his arms over head and was mumbling something. They looked at each other, wondering what was going on.
"WAKE UP BAKA!" Auska shouted.
Shinji shot up, and realized that what had happened before was all a dream.
"Make us breakfast, were hungry." Auska said. They both left the room.
Shinji looked down and clenched his fists. "Someday," He whispered, "Someday."
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Sorry it's been about six months since I wrote anything. If your wondering what's going on with my other story Neon Genesis Evangelion: Evil of Minds, I'm in a rut with chapter 4. I will be able to get it finished by the end of the month. I think I'll continue this line of writing stories based on movies. Expect to see a story from the eyes of a drunken master.
Ja Ne