Summary: Tony thinks the labs have gremlins but Darcy really hopes it's just a rat problem.
Pairing: Darcy Lewis/ Pietro Maximoff
A/N: I've wanted to post this earlier in the month but I honestly haven't had the energy to write lately. But it's still Christmas, even if it's almost over. Besides, Kwanza is just beginning so I can still write a holiday fic, right?
A/N2: This is based on the fact that I posted little Krampuses around the store I work. It's the only way to instill holiday cheer into myself.
Hope you enjoy. There's more to come!
"So when are we going on our second date?" Pietro asked smoothly, sitting on the edge of Darcy's desk with his arms crossed and legs spread out so they brushed hers. Looking up from her very important business of cutting out little paper Krampuses, Darcy gave Pietro a raised eyebrow. They'd known each other for almost a year now, first meeting when Darcy and Jane moved into Stark Tower. As he always did when faced with a pretty lady, Pietro tried to woo her with his jawline and accent but once he realised Darcy wasn't interested, they'd formed a fun, laid-back friendship. Yet in the past month, he'd started to flirt with more intention. In just the past week, he started to ask her out and wouldn't stop.
As flattered as Darcy was, she didn't really see herself saying yes to the date he practically begged for. Sure, he was super hot, fun and an Avenger but he was also 4 years younger than her. Technically, he'd only been able to legally drink in the States for 5 months. While this wasn't actually a huge age gap, Darcy had promised herself in the 8th grade to never date a younger man again after a disastrous and reputation ruining relationship with 7th grader Tommy Bridges. Not that she had actually told Pietro this. He swore until she told him the actual reason why she didn't want to date him, he wouldn't stop asking. Although it would save her trouble, Darcy didn't have the heart to tell him for some reason. A part of her liked his persistence and attention. Truth be told, it was likely that Pietro, even with his playboy ways, would still be a hundred times better than Bridges but a girl had to stick to her guns sometimes. And Darcy really didn't want to be called a cougar in training.
"Normally second dates happen after a first one. Which…has not, nor will it happen," smiled Darcy, siding eyeing Pietro and finishing the last little Krampus. Pietro's foot tapping against hers took her attention away from the next set of holiday decorations she needed to cut out.
"What?" scoffed Pietro, insulted she didn't remember. "Friday! All that shopping? I bought you lunch. We shared a piece of pie."
"Black Friday was not a date. I just needed your speed to help me get the best deals. Besides, your sister was there. How can you think that was a date?"
"I don't know," Pietro shrugged with a well practiced pout that made him look kind of sexy. A flutter floated through her stomach. Scowling, Darcy tossed all the scrap paper into the trash can and pulled out the Festivus folder. "It seemed like a date. Even with all the shouting and pushing."
"It's not gonna happen, Speedy," promised Darcy.
"Why not?" whined Pietro, scrunching his nose and looking more like a petulant child than suave womanizer.
"Because I only know a fraction of where your dick's been and even that's enough reason for me," Darcy said, beginning to cut out a picture of meatloaf, pausing to take in Pietro's sputtering.
"What? I am very careful! That's a terrible reason! If I said that about a woman, you would call me a-"
"Double standards suck, don't they?" shrugged Darcy.
"How did this become about women's rights? You know I believe if a woman wants to sleep with as many people as she wants, she should do it," Pietro said, outraged at all the insinuations Darcy had suggested. As he ranted, she finished cutting out the meatloaf picture. As he paused to take a breath, Pietro calmed down and waited for Darcy's gaze to lift back up to him. He continued with a grin. "And if she only wants to sleep with one person, she can. Especially if you are the woman and I am the one person. Besides, I know that isn't the reason. So what do you say? Just one date?"
"It doesn't matter. Point is, we're not gonna date. You're not my type. Sorry, not sorry," insisted Darcy, letting her hair fall in her face to hide her blush. "There are many women who are more than willing to take my place though."
"How am I not your type? I am everyone's type."
"That only kind of reinforces my point," laughed Darcy. Try as she might to deter Pietro, Darcy had to admit that her resolve was waning. He was really cute and made her laugh, which happen to be high on her list of what she looked for in a man. Besides, they always had so much fun together.
"Come now. One little coffee date," begged Pietro, jutting out his bottom lip slightly and rubbing the tip of his sneaker against Darcy's calf. "Christmas spirit?"
"We're both Jewish," pointed out Darcy sardonically.
"Then Hanukkah spirit?" Pietro tried hopefully, waggling his eyebrows and picking up the printout of the aluminum pole. "Or…whatever spirit this is? Strippers?"
"Wow. Okay, word of advice: when you're already down with girl, best not to mention strippers," Darcy told him condescendingly and plucked the print out from his fingers. "And it's a Festivus pole. Some stupid holiday that was invented on a TV show. Tony claims to celebrate it now instead of Christmas and according to bossman, I can't put up any decorations of anything unless I include all holidays, non-denominational and otherwise."
"So…it's a holiday where women dance on the pole?" Pietro's brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what the holiday really was. "I suppose I understand why he would prefer that to a fat man eating all your desserts."
"No, you eat meatloaf for dinner, stare at the pole and tell everyone how they disappointed you over the year."
"That sounds terrible. Though I do have some things I would like to say to Stark…" smirked Pietro, liking the possibilities of the holiday. His foot was still rubbing against Darcy's calf and she wasn't sure why she hadn't moved yet. From the corner of her eye, she watched Pietro pick up one of the Krampus cut outs.
"What is this? Are there little demons for Festivus too?"
"No, it's Krampus. I thought I'd hide them around the labs and scare people. Which, you know, totally in the Krampus spirit," Darcy smiled, knowing for a fact that Tony actually really hated the concept of Krampus. Apparently, his Austrian nanny told little Tony stories of Krampus as a warning when he was too rambunctious. It definitely warranted a therapy session but Tony had been such a wang about all the changes Darcy had been enacting in the labs, she wanted some revenge. He hired her as the Stark R&D HR Supervisor. Only a fancy title for scientist wrangler, perhaps, but it also meant she got a sweet apartment in Stark tower as well as awesome pay and benefits. It was Darcy's job to create a enjoyable work environment and that included putting up holiday decorations. Besides, Darcy picked the cutest Krampus picture so it wasn't like he could be that angry. It was a black furry Krampus that looked more like a dog-dragon than a demon. He even had little bells hanging off his long tail.
"I hate Krampus. My uncle used to tell Wanda and me that it would eat us if we didn't eat our vegetables."
"I thought Krampus was mostly an Austrian thing. Didn't know you guys had him in Sokovia."
"Well, my uncle always liked to tell lies. Then it got him killed by the…uh, how you say? Ah, mafia," Pietro snapped his fingers, remembering movie night from a few weeks ago. "He tried to steal from them."
"Pissed off the Godfather, huh?"
"He was not a good man," Pietro shook his head.
"Well, he was scaring little Jewish kids with the story of Krampus. A little morally ambiguous if you ask me. Now as lovely as this was, you need to leave. I have a lot of decorating to do," Darcy pointed her thumb at a box full of garlands, star of Davids and a slew of other holiday related decorations.
"All the more reason I should stay. I am fast and much taller than you," Pietro reasoned and Darcy had to admit he had a point. She did hate getting on the step stool and a lot of times she was still too short. A part of her wanted his company too. Not that she'd admit to that.
"Fine. Grab some scissors and start with the dreidels. These are going on the bulletin board," ordered Darcy and Pietro dutifully followed. An unnerving presence filled the room though and Darcy's skin prickled. When she looked up and searched for the source, she saw Loki watching her from the doorway. He looked genuinely interested in what she was doing but when he caught her gaze, his normal mask of indifference fell.
"Don't you have some research you need to be helping with?" Darcy asked suspiciously and Loki raised an eyebrow at her tone, which he deemed ignoble..
"I am taking a short recess. Dr. Norris is most unbearable when he does not imbibe at least 3 cups of tea within the hour," explained Loki and Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. He was technically right. The man needed to be constantly plied with tea to function. She'd have to chat with her minions to make sure they were keeping on tea schedule. Dr. Norris had travelled from London to work with Jane on wormhole and rainbow bridge research. Loki was also supposed to be assisting them as penance for pretty much existing at this point but talking in mystic riddles about Midgardian incomprehension of the vastness of the universe wasn't really that helpful. "Making more little ornaments? I very much enjoyed your domestic fowls. Though…rather fragile, weren't they?"
At that, Darcy gasped then glared at him. She knew he was behind the turkey massacre of 2015's Thanksgiving decor but didn't have physical proof and thus could not get Thor to berate Loki for it. The day after she finished the Thanksgiving decorations, she walked into the office to find all the turkeys without their heads and dripping corn syrup blood. It was hell to clean up and some labs had to be repainted because she couldn't get all the stains out.
Before Darcy could toss the scissors at Loki's head, which would have been really bad as someone in charge of HR, Pietro zipped to the door. The door slammed on Loki's smirk and Darcy let out a breath when footsteps were heard walking away.
"Thanks," Darcy sighed when Pietro sat back on the edge of her desk and continued cutting out dreidels. "I hate him."
"I know," Pietro said softly. "He is not a good man but I would rather have him under our watch than trying to control the universe again."
"Ugh, I don't know why he's allowed to wander free, though. I mean, he has those Asgard bracelets that's supposed to limit his magic but I still don't trust him. Once a villain, always a villain. Even if he's Thor's brother and has the knowledge of the universe in his head. Is it worth having the bad guys on our side if they just mess more up than actually help? Look at what happened to SHIELD when they let Nazis in."
"Anyone can change. You know, I was sort of a villain once," Pietro said lightly. "You do not hate me, right?"
"You're not guilting me into a date," Darcy said, knowing his angle. His nose wrinkled at his failure.
"Are you at least coming to our Hanukkah dinner? I make delicious latkes," winked Pietro, tapping Darcy's foot again.
"Yes. Jane's gonna be there too. So will Thor and probably the rest of the Avengers. So it's not a date. Remember that."
"Okay, okay," Pietro raised a hand in defeat. "But if you are still looking for my Hanukkah gift, just know I would prefer a date."
"Just keep cutting'," ordered Darcy, rolling her eyes but she had a small smile. An hour later, most of the decorations were finally up and the labs were already looking much better. Darcy had done her best to keep the decor choices to things that Loki couldn't easily defile. Once Pietro actually started to help Darcy, he'd kept quiet on asking her out and focused on making the labs look exactly the way Darcy wanted them to. It had been nice, with him not complaining when she asked him to constantly redo things until it was perfect and the yiddish songs he sang merrily under his breath.