WWE Takes Over Maury Povich
*Camera starts taping and does a close-up of the host and it is not Maury.*
"Maury couldn't be here today so they called me," Breathes in and out and runs his hand over his chest, "Goldusst to be special guest host. Today we have a treat for you. We are going to take you into the lives of the WWE wrestlers." Smiles for the camera. "Our first guest doesn't know who the father of her three old daughter is but her husband thinks that he is." Does the Rock eyebrow. "Please welcome Samantha Spano."
The crowd boos her as she walks onto the stage and says hello to Goldust and than sits down. "Welcome, Samantha."
"Thank you," she says looking at the host.
"So, you don't know who the father of your daughter Alanna is?"
"No, see when I met Randy Orton, that's my husband, I also met Ted DiBiase and John Cena. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was sleeping with all three of them and I just guessed that Randy was the father because well honestly, he was the only one of the three that really wanted to be a father."
"I see. So, you want us to bring out Randy so you can tell him this secret that you've been keeping from him for over three years now?"
"Yes, Its time that I stopped lying. I need to face the truth. Though I just know in my heart that Randy is Alanna's father, she looks just like him."
"Alright, well let's bring out your husband, Randy."
Randy walks out on to the stage to a chant from crowd proclaiming RKO! RKO! RKO! He strikes his signature pose and then sits down next to Sam and takes her hand into his.
"Welcome, Randy."
"Thanks Goldie," he said with a smile.
"Well, you know that Sam brought you here because she wants to tell you a secret."
"Really?" he says raising his eyebrow as he looks at her questioningly. "A secret," he lets go of her hand. "I thought I was getting a make over."
Some in the crowd yells out: GROOMING TIPS!
Goldie looks off into the audience to try and figure out who marked out to his brother so he can make a comment but looks back quickly realizing he has to go on with the show. "Go ahead Sam tell Randy your secret."
Sam looks at Randy, "Randy, I love you with all my heart but there is something I never told you. Back when we met, you know when I was working at Hooters, I met you and Ted and John. Well, I wasn't just sleeping with you. I was sleeping with all of you."
Randy stands up quickly knocking over his chair. "What the fuck do you mean you were sleeping with all of us?"
"It just kind of happened Randy, I'm sorry," she said standing up to touch him but he pulled away from her.
"Why are you telling me this now? Why now?" he seethed through his teeth.
She backed off him a little bit, "Well, uhm, you may not be Alanna's father."
"What!" he screamed at her. "You told me that you were pregnant and I asked you to marry me to make it right for the baby. I did all that for that little girl and after all I have given the both of you, you have the audacity to tell me that I may not be the father?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Bring out fucking John and Ted!"
"You heard the man bring out John and Ted," Goldie said chiming in.
Ted and John slowly make their way on stage to The Viper down on his hands and knees pounding the floor. Ted tries to walk off but John pulls him back telling him they can go in together that Randy can't take them both then pushes Ted in front of him. They sit down quickly watching as Randy gets to his feet and security steps in-between the guests. Security holds back the antagonized Viper.
"Lucky for everyone I have the paternity tests right here." Goldie says pulling out an envelope. Randy turns and looks at Goldust seething with anger and spit flying out from between his teeth. They all give the host their full attention. A picture comes up on the screen of Alanna and on the side is a picture of Randy, Ted and John.
"Ted DiBiase…"
Goldust was cut off by another yell from the crowd: TED'S A VIRGIN!
He ignored it and continued, "Ted, you are not the father."
Ted quickly ran off of the stage as not to stay incase Randy got angrier.
"Randy," Goldie paused and looked at the enraged man and back down at the paper. "You are not the father."
Randy kicked the chair and it flew over his head and into the audience. "We are so through Sam. You will never ever have anything from me again. You are just a cunt. A fucking cunt!" He said turning and looking at John.
Goldie quickly got John's paternity results in. "John you are the father!"
Randy moved so quickly security had no idea what hit them and he was on John pounding his face in. It took seven security guys to pull him off of John and John crawled away to lick his wounds.
Another shout was heard from the audience: YOU SHOULD HAVE PUNTED HIM IN THE SKULL!
The camera cut back to Goldust. "That's all the time we have for today. Remember folks you shouldn't lie to get what you want. Always be yourself. Until next time always remember the name of Gooolldddusssttt!" Bite!
*end credits*