Chapter 1: There's Something
Prom.
No time of the year brings me as much frustration, irritation, and stress as this accursed dance.
Being swarmed by prepositions isn't exactly my idea of fun.
It's not what you think; I'm not just being chased by girls, but also guys.
Again, it's not what you think. They're not running to ask me out, they could hardly give a shit about me. No, they want me to ask her out on their behalf.
If I knew that being friends with her would be this hard, I would've ran like hell the moment I saw her.
I'm talking about Kairi, the most popular, the most envied, the most worshipped, and the most hated girl at school, the undisputed "princess" of Destiny High and sure-fire lock for prom queen.
And my best friend.
Riku, whom I also taking requests for (which is why I'm being chased by girls), once warned me that things change once you to get into high school. Old friends drift apart only to pick up new buddies from new circles, clubs, and cliques. I thought he was overstating things at the time, but he was a total prophet.
Fortunately, Kairi and I were able to somehow resist the gravity of high school and remained best friends. The only thing that changed was that we no longer lived in the same neighborhood, heck, make that island—no, not even the same planet. I remained a lowly being on earth while she vaulted over the moon in a single summer.
Maybe it was because I stuck with her for so long that I really didn't see the changes. The moment we stepped into Destiny High, she became the best thing since sliced bread.
I don't know if everybody went blind and decided that she was the most beautiful creature to walk the moon, or if everybody finally opened their eyes and saw her true beauty.
Things were simpler in middle school. She was rough around the edges back then, a real tomboy, unafraid to jump into the fray with the rest of us guys. Now of all sudden, she's a cool and graceful beauty.
One would think that with such a meteoric rise to fame, my average ass would be left in the dust. Not so, as if something as retarded as social hierarchy could destroy a bond forged through years of friendship, comfort, and understanding.
If I was handsomer, things might be a little different. Due to my immense averageness, I am not seen as a threat whatsoever, rather, my close association with Kairi made me unexpectedly popular with the guys.
Now there's no end to my train of "bros" hoping for a shot at Kairi.
Knock knock knock!
"Sora! You're in there aren't you? Come on out already!"
That's Kairi's voice. I can't believe it, seriously? This girl is nuts. Don't tell me she's actually here, in the boy's restroom, trying to hustle me out of my stall? She's got balls; I'll give her that—except that she doesn't.
"I'm kind of busy at the moment."
I see Kairi's feet shuffle underneath the stall door. "No you're not; I know you're just hiding in there. You do this every time there's a dance," she accuses.
I can't argue with her on that because she's completely right. "How did you even know I was in here?"
"Silly boy, don't you know you can never hide from me?"
I shake my head even though she can't see me. "It's not you I'm hiding from."
"I know, which is why I'm here. Can you get out of there now? All the guys in here are too afraid to take a piss until I leave."
"It's supposed to be opposite. It's fear that takes the piss out of you."
Thud!
Did she just kick the stall?
"Hurry up!"
It's when she does things like this that make me wonder why all the guys are chasing after her.
I slide the lock and open the stall to be greeted by my best friend's face. It's when I see her face that I remember why all the guys are chasing after her. How can anyone deny her beautiful features? Her eyes so deep like the night that you can see the stars in them, her auburn hair so fiery that it sets your heart ablaze, and her skin so perfect that it shines like porcelain?
But when you've been with her for as long as I have, you become numb to it. I'm the only guy in school immune to her charms. "Then you acknowledge that this is your fault, right?"
She gives me a quirky smile. She knows full well about the collateral damage her immense popularity has on me. When we first came in as freshman, there was an endless barrage of boys asking her out. She had to do something drastic to stop the flood of suitors, so she announced something that forever altered the course of my life. For every boy who wished to go out with her, they had to go through me first.
Thanks a lot Kairi.
I'm basically her date manager. She trusts me to weed out the undesirables and let only the best candidates through. It's funny. Before, I was just the regular guy that hung around with Kairi. Now, every guy wants to be my best friend and rub shoulders with me.
"I take full responsibility. Now let's get out of here. This place reeks," she urges.
Kairi's pretty much gained enough clout to go wherever she wants, especially in regards to her best friend, aka, me. If I'm there, she's there. Everybody's already accepted me as a hanger-on to the Kairi package deal.
You can't have her without me too.
I don't know if it goes both ways, since no girl has ever expressed an interest in me. It's not like I'm starving for attention. I have enough on my plate as it is.
She leads us out and ignores any confused expressions about a girl walking out of the boy's restroom. I look around the hallway and my eyes are assaulted with white shirts, black ties, dark slacks, and plaid skirts. Despite the uniform policy, Kairi manages to shine and immediately attracts attention.
"We better move quick before a crowd starts to develop," I warn.
"Follow me," she orders.
We start walking before the bodies have a chance to congregate.
"So where are we going?" I ask. We briskly make our way through the locker-lined hallways, passing by bulletin boards, water fountains, and all the typical features of a high school, including students in various mental states ranging from "get me out of here!" to "I'm lovin' it!" The faces are a little more agitated than usual, due to impending prom. The air is certainly charged with excitement.
"I need to pick up some papers at the front office. Keep the monsters at bay for me."
"I don't know if any of the guys around here would take that as an insult or a compliment."
She chuckles and continues leading me towards incoming traffic. Lines of bodies fly at me from every direction. These hallways are too narrow.
"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you don't need to screen for me this time."
Fantastic! But what's the catch? "Oh?"
She puts a finger to her chin. "No, that's not accurate...you're still screening, except you're screening out everyone."
"You want me to reject everybody?"
She nods in confirmation.
"Well that makes things easy for me. I already had two guys waiting in the wings for you too." Good for me, but too bad for them. What else can I do? The boss has spoken and they are gone. I'm not looking forward to breaking the news to them; they're actually some pretty nice guys.
"Really? Who?" she wonders.
"Pence."
She stops and gives me an awkward look. "Pence?"
"Hey, if you look underneath his exterior, he's actually a nice guy." He really is. The guy has genuine sense of wit and humor.
"A man after your own heart, huh?"
Ouch. I may not be the best looking guy around, but I'd like to think I got some redeeming features. Okay, so my wild brunet hair isn't exactly neat, and I have blue eyes so big it looks like I'm scared half the time, but people tell me I have a nice smile! That's gotta count for something. "You wound me."
She holds her hips. "Tell me the truth; what did he bribe you with?"
The only good thing about playing bouncer to Club Kairi is the bribing. The guys will try to butter me up all sorts of tantalizing offers that I, out of worry for Kairi, have to unfortunately turn down. The normal ones try to exchange products for my services by giving me things like video games, iPods, or a bike. The smart ones use their brains and offer to do my homework, write my essays, or even take my tests. The shady ones promise tickets to concerts, VIP passes, lots of alcohol, and drugs. It's really the worst kind of guy who offers the best kind of bribe. This one guy actually offered me his sister. He said that I could do whatever I wanted with her. His own sister! If he's that horrible of a brother, I can't imagine how he is as a boyfriend.
As great as most of these were, I turned them all down because I care about Kairi, and I don't want to break the trust she has in me.
Thanks a lot Kairi.
"Hey, he really is a genuinely cool guy. The import PSVita has nothing to do with it." If the guy is cool and offers me a bribe, it means it's not a bribe anymore; it's just a gift between friends!
"Oh my God! You have a Vita?"
"Yup, who knew being your screener had such perks?"
"Ugh, whatever. Who's the other guy?"
"Hayner." Him and Pence actually both came to me at the same time. The Vita was from both of them, but they're still actually cool guys. The fancy piece of Sony hardware had nothing to do with it, nope, nothing at all.
"Ah! So that's why Olette shredded my clothes during PE yesterday," she states matter-of-factly. The tone is the result of being victim to countless similar incidents before.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Don't worry; the other girls volunteered their clothes for me to borrow." For every insult, there's a compliment. Every act of hatred is countered with an act of generosity.
"To be loved and hated...I don't know how you do it."
She spins on her heels and continues our journey towards the front office. "Honestly, I don't know how you do it. Aren't you pulling double time?"
I don't just screen for Kairi. Although most girls will never give me a second glance, I attract them like moths to a flame. The reason? Riku. After seeing how effective I was at getting rid of the crazies, stalkers, and other persons of dubious character, he invested in me, the power to reject girls in his name.
Thanks a lot Riku.
"Sora!" A tall girl with yellow hair that sticks out like antennas calls out to me. She's a tall limber figure whose physique instantly marks her as a member of the cheerleading squad. She wears a big buttery smile that doesn't quite offset her reputation as a raging bitch.
"Larxene, what can I do for you?" I greet.
"Do you think Riku—"
"No."
"But I didn't—"
"Still no."
Her eyes narrow. "Why not?"
Larxene's history of mental instability is well-documented. Whether it's her scathing outbursts during cheer practice, how she displays artistic ability on vandalized lockers or the numerous incidences of sudden illness and injuries striking past boyfriends, there is no doubt that she leaves of trail of misery and sadness in her wake.
"You're too crazy."
"Asshole." She shoves her shoulder into me, almost knocking me down, when she stomps away.
I brush my shoulder to wipe off the residual craziness. Who knows? It could be contagious.
While it sounds great on paper to be approached by girls all day, what I'm really doing is dishing out and taking abuse. I have to be the one to suffer the brunt of their fury, disappointment, and sadness. Riku's hands are clean, so what does he care?
"That's what I'm talking about," Kairi observes. "I don't know anybody whose sole job is to reject people."
"What can I say? I've got a future in human resources."
We march on until we come across an open locker.
A spiky head of blond hair pops out from behind. The boy is all smiles. "Kairi! I was hoping to catch you. I was wondering—"
"You had your shot, man. No second chances," I interrupt.
Kairi nods in agreement. "Sorry, but he's right."
He is Tidus, the superstar of the blitzball team. I let him through a couple weeks ago, and as expected, only lasted a couple days. It was rare that I let anybody through, even rarer when Kairi agrees to it, and rarest when anything goes beyond a week. All things considered, he was one of the lucky ones.
"Don't you have a game tonight?" Kairi asks.
He gives a wan smile. "Yeah. I do."
"Go and get the win for us!" she cheers.
"I definitely will, just like you've already won my heart."
"And that's our cue to leave," I announce. "See ya around blitz boy."
We leave him and continue on. "Why'd you give him hope? This is why you don't let guys down half-heartedly. They'll just stick around until there's a definitive rejection."
"You know I'm not like that," she excuses. "That's what I have you for. Anyways, aren't you curious as to why I'm asking you to block everybody?"
Why question it if its make my job easier? "I've got an educated guess. Who's the lucky guy?" It's the only reason I can think of. She probably found someone to go to prom with.
We stop before the front office entrance. "That's the problem. He doesn't know he's the lucky guy yet."
"Why don't you just let him know?" I open the door and let her in like a gentleman. I let it close on its own after following her in.
"It's not that simple."
"You do realize who you are, right? Any guy would be thrilled to be asked out by you. Hell, it's unheard of for you to be the one doing the asking." She's never asked anyone out, ever. She's never had to, so this is definitely a surprise.
She approaches the front desk. The lady behind gives a welcoming smile. "What can I do for you Kairi?"
"Hi, I'm here to pick up some forms. It should be under my name." Kairi turns to me. "I know. Which is why I was hoping you can give me some advice. I never confessed to anyone before."
We wait as the receptionist goes through a stack of papers.
"First of all, who is this guy?"
"It's uh...Riku."
Wow. It makes so much sense; I can't believe I didn't see it before! It's the only coupling that the masses will accept unquestionably, and as a bonus, I won't have to screen for them anymore. I'm a little shocked, but it definitely explains why they've been hanging with each other lately. I always thought they were just getting together to laugh at me as I reject fools on their behalf. "Yes."
"Huh?"
"I give you my blessing as representative of Riku."
She rolls her eyes. "Can't you be a little serious here? How do you approach this kind of situation?"
"I don't get what you mean. Please explain to me what this kind of situation this is." Aren't you guys together now?
"It's the whole friends thing. How do you make sure you're not making a mistake and screwing up a good friendship?"
You can't make sure. It's impossible. But with every risk, there's also reward. "Depends on which feeling is stronger: more than friends or just friends? I think guys and girls can be friends. It's not like there's an inevitable attraction between opposite sex buddies. Look at us, we're a prime example aren't we?"
She smiles back. "You sure you're not harboring any secret feelings for me?" she teases.
"I never thought about it," I answer truthfully. Such a line of thought can only end in profound sadness. I'd rather not go through the anguish of sorting though mixed feelings. There is no storyline more depressing than the one about the guy who is secretly in love with his best friend. "But Riku, I'm surprised. What tipped you towards him?"
"Here are your papers Kairi," the receptionist alerts.
"Thank you!" She puts the papers in her bag and looks at me. "Let's got of here." We leave the office. "Nothing in particular. We've been friends for a long time and after going out with several guys, it seems like nobody knows me as well as he does."
"Not even me?" I've been friends with Kairi for years, since middle school. I've known Riku for even longer. Despite being friends with both of them, they didn't meet until high school since we were in different grades.
"Except for you," she adds.
"When did you guys get so close?" I ask rhetorically.
She answers anyway. "He's helped me with a lot of problems. He's the one guy that I could always depend on."
Riku's been doing some work behind my back. He's a fantastic guy, so I don't mind. I feel sorry for everybody else though. There's no way they can match up with him. "Where are we going?" I ask.
"You tell me, I was following you."
I laugh. "Let's head to the cafeteria. I'm hungry."
She chuckles. "So you have any idea how I should break the news to him?"
In my mind, the best way to do it is to do it bluntly. I don't see why going up to him and saying "I like you" isn't an option, but girls are too hung up on theatrics to go for that kind of simplicity. "Do it at the end of a date."
"A date?"
I nod. "First, you got to show him what it would be like to go out with you without actually going out with you. A friendly date. It'll soften him up for your confession."
"A friendly date...I see. Do you think you can help me?"she asks.
"How?"
"It's like you said, make it a date. With the three of us, it'll feel like just another hangout. But halfway through, let's say you encounter an emergency and you have to go, leaving us alone. It'll turn a friendly date into a real one."
"So I play decoy? Not a bad plan." I was leading her to that conclusion, except that I didn't really have to be there. What's wrong with a date with just two friends?
"Are you okay with this? I mean, we're your two best friends. Wouldn't it be weird for you?"
Not really. I've insulated myself from such dramatics. "I'd be happy for you two. I don't have to screen for you guys either. Sort of a win-win situation for me."
"Oh..." There was a dissatisfied lilt to her answer.
"Why do you sound so disappointed?"
"I don't know. I was expecting you to be more excited for me I guess."
"Hey guys!"
We both stop to see Axel in the way. He's one of those psychotic persistent types. I rejected him on the basis of unconfirmed reports that he was the one who burned down the equipment shed. It was classified as a "freak accident" since there was no evidence tying him to the incident, but word gets around. Ever since he enrolled, there's been a rash of small fires but nobody could seem to catch him in the act. He's the roguish type, the bad boy, the one who terrorizes parents with his appearance alone. With his facial tattoos and flaming red hair, he does look a little wild. His supposed pyromania only adds to his mad mystique.
"What can I do for you Axel?" Kairi responds.
He gives a sly smile. "With prom coming up, I was thinking—"
"Luckily for you, you don't have to think anymore," I interrupt.
"Why's that Sora?" he grumbles.
"Kairi here has given me carte blanche to reject en masse. Got it memorized?" I love throwing his catchphrase back in his face.
Kairi gives me an impressed look. It's not often I get to spin such a good line. "He's right. I won't be accepting any proposals from now on." Her words cooled down any possible fury directed towards me.
"Well baby, if you're ever looking for a little fire, you know where to look. I've got a talent for making things...hot."
"Enough with the euphemisms and be on your way!" I ward.
Kairi giggles. "I'll keep it mind. I'll see you later Axel."
We walk away.
"Man, I can't stand that guy."
"What's wrong with him? He seems nice enough to me."
"That's because your presence brings out the 'best' in people. You naturally suppress a guy's worst instincts. With me, it's just the opposite. Every dude unleashes their crazy on me."
"I find that hard to believe," she says.
"Mr. Not-so-bad Axel lit a garbage can on fire on my front lawn once. Good thing it wasn't mine, but the stench of burnt trash hung around for days." And that's just Axel. I've received my share of physical threats, vandalism, and promises of immense pain.
"That doesn't sound like him at all."
That's always the case. I suppose I have a talent for unlocking a man's true potential for perversion, violence, and insanity. "I'm like alcohol. I make people act like idiots."
She laughs. "You must be the life of every party then."
I crack a smile. "You know it."
We enter the cafeteria and join the lunch line. Once we get in, the people in line offer to give up their places until we stroll up to the front. Yup, she definitely brings out the best in people. We grab our trays and exit since we like to enjoy our meals outside. It only takes ten seconds after exiting for Kairi to be accosted by yet another boy. He has blond hair that spike up like a ragged patch of grass. An acoustic guitar hangs from his shoulder.
"Kairi! I wrote a new song for you," the boy says excitedly.
"Another one, Demyx?"
He nods enthusiastically and starts strumming his guitar. It starts off with a nice rhythm and increases in tempo and complexity. It's a wonderfully composed melody, which is no surprise since Demyx is an outstanding guitar player. The music is great, at least until he starts wailing. "Kairi...Kairi...Ka-Ka-Kairi...KAIRIII!" He should just stick with the instrument and leave the vocals alone.
"That's...great," she replies awkwardly.
"Oh, I'm not finished yet, Kairi! Will you go to prom with me, oh Kairi, will you go to prom with with meee?" he sings.
Normally this kind of thing would draw a crowd, but since this is Kairi, it's on par for the course. Such demonstrations are entirely expected around her. Heck, it's an odd day when someone's not singing a song, reciting a poem, showing off a painting, or enacting dozens of other displays of affection for her sake.
"I'm sorry Demyx, but I'm no longer accepting any invitations to the dance."
"Wha-why?" he sputters.
"Does a rejection by any other reason feel not as bitter? What does it matter to you? The girl says no, it means no, which means it's no," I answer. I put on my invisible sunglasses. "Just deal with it."
Kairi offers a comforting smile. "Although I wouldn't put it as harshly, he's right. Sorry Demyx, but thanks for taking the time to make the song. I feel it...communicates your feelings very clearly. I'm flattered."
"It's okay...it's okay! You're okay! I'm okay, we're all okay!" he starts singing.
Kairi gives me a puzzled look.
"I'm telling you, only around me." But in Demyx's case, he just lacks shame, embarrassment, or any common sense.
She stifles a giggle. "Come on, let's eat."
We take our seat under a shady tree and dig into our meals.
"Are you free this Saturday?" she asks me.
"I should be, why?"
"I'm thinking I should confess to him before prom. You think you can do me this one small favor? Ask Riku if he wants to hang out with us."
"Sure. I can't even remember the last we hung out together. It's always just me and you or me and him."
"Summer vacation," she reminds me.
"Months ago then. Yeah I can do that. I'm guessing once we get together, all I have to do is make up some excuse and leave you guys alone?"
"That's the idea—yours actually. I'm thinking we should meet in the afternoon. You should be awake by then." I'm notorious for my epic sleeps. I woke up at 5 once, 5PM. It's not like I sleep late either, my body just refuses to get up on the weekends. I'm always a pain in the ass for her since she's an early bird.
The lunch bell finally rings. "I'll let you know how it goes," I tell her.
"Thanks, I'll catch you after school."
It's a good thing Riku is in my next period. Saves me the trouble of actually having to go look for him. I throw away my tray and get into class. I see him instantly. He's hard to miss with his long silver hair and tall height. Many of the girls in class shower him with adoring gazes but dare not approach, for all interest must first come through me.
Thanks a lot Riku.
It's kind of ridiculous that I have to reject them when he's right there, but whatever. It's his system and all the girls have to follow it regardless. Any breach will result in immediate and permanent rejection. After shooting down every girl in class, I'm finally able to extend him the invitation.
"Hey, me and Kairi are hanging out this Saturday, you game?"
He thinks about it. "Saturday...I should be free. Yeah, I think I can make it. What time?"
"The afternoon."
He rubs his chin. "I should be fine." He looks around the classroom. "So, how's it looking?"
"What? Are you blind?"
"Hahaha, I'm not talking about this class. Any good prospects out there? I didn't hire you for nothing."
I shake my head. "I'm not hired if I'm not getting paid, and to answer your question, none of them are good."
"Seriously?"
"Guess who came up to me during lunch?" I tease.
He shrugs.
"Larxene."
"Aw damn, the crazy girl?"
"The one and only. I checked my locker on the way here and she already wrote asshole all over it."
Girls were always a little more subtle in expressing their displeasure. Whereas guys would simply try to inflict physical violence on me, girls like to go for a more psychological approach. Following every rejection is a rash of rumors—just the usual accusations of closet homosexuality, misogyny, and animal abuse—because nobody likes a gay girl-hating guy who kicks puppies for fun. My favorite is when I came to school with a "Sora sucks dick" banner hanging above my locker. Not very creative, but effective.
I have to remind them that if they so much as lay a finger on me, it would destroy any chance they have with Kairi or Riku. It's normally enough to clear out their daze of rage, but there's always a couple crazies who insist on throwing caution to the wind and do something dumb enough to get them into a lot of trouble. I've been in so many altercations that the school has a Sora-first policy, which means that I'm always right until proven wrong.
"Sorry you have to go through such shit."
Thanks a lot Riku.
"What are friends for? And just to make it clear, I'd expect you to go through a whole lot worse for my sake."
"Sure, like what?"
"Go kill someone for me."
He laughs. "Who should I kill for you?"
"Who else? Go kill yourself," I joke.
"Ha, don't worry about me; think about yourself a little more. I'm gonna pay you back before you know it."
"I'll hold you to that," I warn.
The rest of the day goes by in fast motion and before I know it, it's Saturday.