Sirius doesn't die. But there are mentions of rape, child abuse, slash sex, and maybe male preg or threesome.

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!!! They belong to JK Rowling and her associates. If you recognize it, it most definitely is not mine!

Story of His Life, Part One

Harry was tired of being who everyone wanted him to be. He had to be the "Griffindor Golden Boy" but he was tired of acting. He had suffered so much and gained so little for it. No one really knew what happened to him at the Dursley's hands. The truth was that no one really even knew what he truly looked like. He had held a constant glamour on himself since he was five. But now he was sick of it. Hermoine could sense the change in him, but did not comment. Ron, as usual, was completely oblivious to the goings on in him. He had just figured out that he was gay, but that was not the worst of it. No, he was in love with his archrival…Draco Malfoy.

Hermoine's voice cut through his thoughts, as she entered the train car where he was seated. "Harry," she pleaded, "you have to talk to someone, please. I know something's not right. Please tell me! I'm your friend! You know that I won't tell anyone!"

"No," he responded, his voice and eyes devoid of the usual life and laughter, "This is one thing you can never know."

"Harry!" she pestered on, "Tell me something!" With that stated, she turned, whipped out her wand and sealed the door against every sort of eavesdropper and any intruder.

That got a response from him. He looked up at her from beneath his bangs, his eyes finally coming alive, sparking with anger.

"Why can't you just leave it alone Hermoine! I do NOT want to talk about it!"

She met his flashing green eyes steadily. "Harry," she spoke softly, so as to not incur his wrath, "I love you like a brother, come on, you can tell me anything." With that she settled back and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're not going to let me go on this one are you?" He asked, resigned to his fate.

"Nope," was the smug reply.

Harry let out a deep breath, "Fine, I will tell you my story. BUT, first I need a wizards oath from you that you will speak of this to NO ONE unless with my express permission. Everything you find out in this car stays exclusively between you and me."

"Agreed. I, Hermoine Granger, swear upon my life and my magic, that anything I learn from you will not be spoken to anyone without your express permission." A golden beam of light shot between them, causing Hermoine to gasp.

Harry just nodded. Taking another deep breath, he began his tale…well the shortened version at least.

"I know my story begins many years before Hogwarts, but I do not wish to disclose those memories yet. The Dursley's were never fond of me, because I was a wizard. They kept the truth of my heritage from me, and treated me as a servant. But that is neither here nor there. First year…yes…Hagrid was the one who told me that I was a wizard. He was the one who first told me of Voldemort and how he had killed my parents. He told me how all Slytherins were evil, not knowing, that although I knew nothing about my being a wizard, I did know about wizards. I found out one day while cleaning, found some of my mom's old books, but of course, knowing that magic didn't exist, well at least that is what I had been told, I thought them nice fiction. I hid them away and read them ferociously. I loved them. But again, I seem to have gone off topic. Well, when I met you, I liked you immediately…whereas when I met Ron, it took a bit of work because of how completely enraptured he was with my fame and all. A bit off-putting wouldn't you say?" He did not give her time to answer before he started again. "The sorting hat wanted me to be in Slytherin. I knew that I couldn't go there, even though that is where I most needed to be. I had to go somewhere else, for that was what was expected, and I had to play into the expected hand. If I had gone into Slytherin, I wouldn't have been in the right position to play the game. I needed to look as though I was the stupid little "Golden Boy" that everyone wanted. A literally stupid but magically powerful child, so that is what I played."

Hermoine interjected here, "So you are not an average student?" She had suspected him of holding back, but this validation of her suspicions had to be recognized.

He smiled, knowing that she had suspected him of this. "No, I am not average. Most would actually say that I am in the genius range. Why are you not upset about me almost being a Slytherin?"

Hermoine smiled at that. "I am not upset because I know that the qualities of each individual house are needed. They are all amazingly useful qualities. None of them should be looked down upon. I mean, c'mon! Loyalty, it is necessary in life. Courage, how else are you going to overcome the trials that life throws at you. Knowledge, if you don't have it, frankly its down the pot with you. And Cunning. If you have no cunning, you can never win the war. You are probably the most balanced person. You have used all of those qualities, and just being assigned to one house or another means nothing."

Harry's eyes were wide. Bullocks, I should have talked to her earlier, he thought to himself. But now that I know I can trust her…can I tell her the rest? He thought, yet again doubting his own worth and acceptance by her.

Seeing the immense weight settle back over Harry's shoulders and his eyes becoming clouded with uncertainty, Hermoine moved over next to him and sat down, pulling him into a one armed hug.

"It's okay, Harry, you can tell me anything." Her voice was soft, soothing and melodious, helping him relax.

Harry mumbled something in response. "Hmm? What was that?" she leaned in closer to hear.

"I'm gay," he whispered again.

Hermoine, having always had the view that gays are a natural part of every species, looked at his shrinking frame. It was tense with agony, ready for a blow of rejection.

"So?" she asked, simply, he acceptance of him shining in that one syllable word.

He looked up at her, blinking owlishly. "You're not disgusted? You…still care?"

"Of course. In fact, now that you mention it…so am I." she said it in a rush, as if scared of the truth.

Harry let out a sigh, "but there is more to my story. I shouldn't want other men…not after what happened…" he trailed off, his face clearly saying that he had not wished to say that.

Hermoine was immediately concerned. What could have happened? She wondered, hoping with all her might that it wasn't what she thought. Still, she tentatively voiced her question, "After what happened, Harry?"