This just popped into my head, everyone. I have no idea where it came from, since I am a proud InuKag lover. But this is a oneshot to Jesse McCartney's "Right Back In The Water" for the love triangle. This is about his confusion on his feelings for the two women in his life. He loves Kikyo, but doesn't trust her. He still doesn't know what his feelings towards Kagome are, but he trusts her with his life despite everything. BTW, this is about the time when Inuyasha thought Kikyo was siding with Naraku. Just thought I'd make that known.
Lyrics
"Talking"
Inu Human Thoughts
'Inu Youkai Thoughts'
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I could tell by the look in her eyes
Maybe I'm just one of her lies
Inuyasha looked at Kikyo, trying to see her for what she was beginning to show herself as: Naraku's lackey. He hated the thought, cursed himself for thinking it, but tensed none the less. Kikyo could be under Naraku's thumb; it wouldn't be unbelievable.
He bit his tongue to keep from asking her why. Why would she give their jewel fragments to their enemy, the demon who had planned their deaths? Didn't she love him as he did her?
Of course she does, his human half assured him, jumping to his first love's rescue. She loves you; why else would she have given you the jewel so long ago?
Inuyasha froze at that. Did that mean she loved him? Or maybe that they were two lonely creatures seeking comfort from one another? Thoughts raced through his mind, demanding an answer, but not finding a single one. It was as if his brain was slowly failing, diminishing to nothing more than a block inside his thick skull.
'No! She isn't like Kagome,' his demon half snarled, clawing viciously at his thin thread of sanity. 'She only wants to see you dead; she has told you that many times. Kagome would never betray you! She's only lying to you; don't believe her. Kill her here and now, before she goes back to Naraku and tells him anything more!'
That was a sobering reflection. He had no idea how to tell whether she was being true to him in wanting to meet him only to pass on information or if she really wished to ambush him with Naraku's many demons. Not that it would take him long to kill them.
'Cause I know we've been through this so many times
Still I'm here though I'm burning up inside
Gut-wrenching sadness filled him as he contemplated this new fact. Wasn't trust why they had died in the first place? Wasn't that why they had missed out on so much of their lives?
Trust made him think of Kagome. She would never do anything to hurt him. She had fought off a curse to keep him safe until she had nearly collapsed in exhaustion. She hadn't allowed herself to harm him in their friendship, no matter how badly he messed up. Sure, she sat him a lot oftener than he would have liked, but it was their connection. His way of knowing that she would always be with him, even when she wasn't there.
Looking at Kikyo, he knew that he didn't trust her the way he did Kagome, but he loved her. Had loved her for so long. To think that she could deceive him, of her own volition this time, killed him. His love was so strong, yet she didn't seem to feel the same way.
He told himself to kill her, to get it over with before he got too soft. If he allowed her to explain anything, he would never get the nerve to take her life again.
The knowledge that he had to kill her made his heart ache, wanting nothing more than to reach out and pull her into his chest.
And I try to walk away but I keep telling myself
She's the one for me
I can't do it, damnit! I can't kill Kikyo! I love her too much…. Inuyasha's mind was filling once more with questions, his human half pleading with his demon instincts to ask her, to get the truth from her. He was able to smell emotions; he would know if she lied.
But will you care?
The thought stilled in his head. Would he? Would he care if she did want to bring his head to Naraku on a silver platter?
She's the one we want, his human side said, the tone soothing as though it were trying to calm a frightened child. She's the one we love. Go to her now.
Inuyasha shook his head, hand resting lightly on Tessaiga's hilt. He had to think of Kagome's safety. If he died, it would only be so long before that damn ookami, Kouga, came for her. She would never be able to stand living with that flea-infested mongrel. Either that, or the demons bent on revenge would come after her. They would happily gloat as they killed her…or worse.
Protect Kagome with Kikyo by your side.
'Cause her love is so contagious
It keeps pulling me in
"Inuyasha," Kikyo purred in that near-emotionless voice. "Inuyasha, do you remember your promise to me? Do you remember how you swore you would go to Hell with me?" She glided towards him, one delicate hand reaching towards him slowly, beckoning him closer. When she was close enough, she put that hand on his shoulder, bringing him closer. "When will you be true to your word?"
Inuyasha stared into her eyes. They were not the eyes of the woman he had loved. He had known as much for a long time; she wasn't all that she had been. She was much different, tied to this earth only by her hatred towards him, her vengeance unmet. She wanted him dead.
But she was still Kikyo.
She was still beautiful, still seemed as fragile as a little girl's doll. She was still the strong yet quiet woman she had been when they'd first met. She was still clever, thinking out every step and the possible outcomes in the split second she could. She still held the power to weaken him with a simple word.
But it wasn't the same.
Yet it was.
We were meant to be
And I can't leave her
We're right back in the water
He thought back to the time he had believed they would never have to part. He would be human, live a human life for her. He'd been willing to give up his demon senses--something no one else could have taken from him--just to live a short fifty years or so with her. Then they would have died and gone to the next world together. But would it have been worth it? That kind of sacrifice shouldn't be held lightly.
But every time he smelled or saw her, he melted, feeling that unwanted wave of pure emotion roll through him, bringing him to his knees.
He could never truly be free from her as long as that love still held him in its vise-like grip.
I could tell by the look in her eyes
All my friends keep telling me now's the time
Would she sell me out to Naraku? Could the Kikyo I had known do that to me?
He thought about Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Shippo, and Kagome. None of them trusted Kikyo with much more than adding a anxiety to their relationships.
He knew it hurt Kagome to see him go to Kikyo; he wasn't as stupid as they seemed to believe. He hated the scent of Kagome when she was hurt. It made his sadness only grow, wanting to comfort her without a thought towards pride. But he'd never been able to pass that block of arrogance. He couldn't need anyone. Couldn't show even a small amount of weakness.
The others hated seeing Kagome hurt, also, which made them hate him going to Kikyo as well. They told him that he couldn't trust a woman who wanted nothing more than to drag him to Hell with her. He knew he should sever all ties with the undead priestess.
It just hurt him too much.
But I know
Just the notion saying goodbye
Breaks my heart it tears me up inside
The concept of never seeing Kikyo again chewed at his stomach, bringing him more pain than he could bear. He couldn't leave her. He had to leave her.
You don't have to say goodbye, Inuyasha. Just let her bring you with her to Hell. You will be with her for eternity.
'Kagome.'
And I try to walk away but I keep telling myself
She's the one for me
'You can't leave Kagome. Not just yet. Wait until she is safe from danger. You can't let her be injured. You can't let her die. You would never survive it.'
Kikyo is the one for us. Besides, Miroku and Sango will be able to protect Kagome. At least long enough for her to return to her era. She doesn't belong here anyways. She fell through the well. She deserves to be with her family and friends. Out of danger.
'She belongs with us! She belongs to us! Kagome is the woman we want, not this clay pot. Protect her with your life. Once the jewel is completed, you can mate her then. Protect Kagome.'
'Cause her love is so contagious
It keeps pulling me in
"Kikyo," Inuyasha began, slowly, his throat clenching, the words rasping as though he was dehydrated. "Kikyo, I…I…."
He stared into those unfamiliar eyes, trying to find the Kikyo he loved, the woman who had been so perfect for him in the past.
We were meant to be
And I can't leave her
We're right back in the water
But in her face, he saw only Kagome. Beautiful Kagome. Smart Kagome. Strong Kagome.
She'd been by his side through so much, refusing to leave him, even in the face of death. She was furiously protective of her pup, even challenging a much stronger hanyou when the kitsune was threatened. She protected strangers, people who she didn't even like. She didn't allow her own feelings towards a person to differ her decisions.
And he made his own.
"Kikyo, I," he started again, masking his own sorrow, his own stinging heart. He had to do this now while he was so sure, or he would never be able to work up this nerve again. Eyes boring into hers, he pushed her away. "I can't leave Kagome."
Leaping away, ignoring her shocked face burning in his memory, Inuyasha went back to his friends quickly, feeling a sudden weight lift from his shoulders as elation filled him.
'I will live for you, Kagome. I will stay alive, if only for you.'
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So…how'd you like it? Feed back would be FANTASTIC. Good, bad, whatev. Just give me constructive criticism if you must give any at all. But if you feel like flaming, do your worst. What could it hurt to be total assholes?