We're born by ourselves, then we die by ourselves. So, why do we fight so hard for love, when we are meant to be alone?
When you really love someone, you fight for their life. You do anything you can to keep them breathing. Keep their heart beating, just for you. When you think about love it's a selfish thing, but it's not worth it. Because when you fall in love, your with that person forever ... until they die. Then you are alone again. Forever alone and heart broken.
Well, what if you love someone and YOU kill them? That would ruin your life. And end theirs. That's what happened to me. I killed Jaxon, and he's never coming back. MY life is over, and so is his.
"HEY NI! NAOMI! COME HERE!" Jaxon came pounded down the hallway in his full rugby gear. God, he was so hot when he was sweaty. Wearing his baggy sweat shorts and a cute tight top. Wow, this is what I live for!
He came up to me to give me big hug and pulled me back so he could give me a soft loving kiss. His lips brushed up against mine. No matter how many times he does this to me, my heart skips and my eyes take a double take when it's over. I didn't want to break the embrace but we had to because we were in the middle of the halls. Jaxon grabbed my hand and tugged me gently over to the side so people could get by.
"Hey," I said a little breathlessly
"Hey, Naomi, there's this party tonight. Lilah's coming. It's at Liam's house, want to go?" Lilah has been my best friend since kindergarten when we were coloring together and the teacher told us to color in the lines. When I told her I was just a little kid who couldn't do anything and yanked at her bra strap, then snapped it REALLY hard, we've been best friends since! And Liam was her boyfriend. Lilah is really loud and likes to party, but Liam is a quiet guy. Together, they almost make a normal person!
"Yeah, sounds fun," I replied, a little excited I could finally go to a party WITH Jaxon. We always met up after the parties...
The bell rang and he gave me one more light kiss, and jogged off to class. I twisted on my heals just to be stopped because I ran right into someone. The pile of books in my hands crashed to the ground, along with me.
"Oh, sorry ..." I said a little dazed.
The guy got down and picked up my books with super speed. And handed them to me. He helped me up and looked me right in the eye.
"Oh, hi Chayce" I remarked, a bit shocked. He nodded and headed on his way to class. I looked back at him a bit skeptical - he was an odd kid - but didn't think on it much. Ms. Gringin will be SO PISSED if I'm late again, so I ran off
Lilah came home with me in my little old Honda. Man, even though it's a crappy car, I love it!
We were doing our makeup and getting ready for the party.
"So, today Jaxon came up to me and just kissed me in the hallway, and he was all sweaty from rugby. Man he was so HOT!" I was going on about how delicious he was when I held up a black tight tank top with embroidery on top of some roses. "You like?" I asked my best friend.
"O! M! G! That is so cute! Where did you get it? Can I borrow it?" She barraged me with question when I finally just stood up and said "OKAY! OKAY! I'll take that as a yes!"
We both giggled and started to change into the outfits we picked. I had the black top and some skinny jeans with rips in them. Lilah picked out a really cute top that was loose with a deep v-neck that went down to her belly button, and had a red bra on under, FOR THE WORLD TO SEE. She was wearing some cute white shorts. He blonde hair that was never done up, was hanging in its natural waves covering her face. She knew style.
We ran downstairs when we were ready. I slipped on some ankle boots and Lilah slipped on some sandals and we went to the kitchen.
"Want something to eat before we go?" I asked, not really hungry.
"Nah," she answered. I took a quick look at the clock. 9:00. okay we are going to be there at 9:30. Fashionably late. Perfect!
We went back into my Honda and were on our way to Liam's.
"Yeah, so Liam said he and I could visit his room for a while tonight. I'm so excited. We have never gone all the way. Well one time in the back of his jeep ..." She went on about how she and Liam were so close and they were going to get married one day which I thought was TOTALLY possible. But they would probably get a divorce eventually. So I didn't count on it. No need to crush Lilah's dreams though.
It was 9:25 and we were at the party. I parked at the church across the street from the house. Lilah was just getting out of the car, and I was reapplying my lipstick. Gosh, I'm so excited for tonight. I'm really glad that Jaxon is going to be there. YAY!
We got out of the car and grabbed our purses. I went to the back of the car to grab the case of cola I had to bring to the party. I always bring cola, but I usually finish it myself.
We crossed the street over to the house and just went in. The music was pounding the house and I could see a lot of people dancing. At the top of the stairs see guys from the baseball team were throwing toilet paper at people under the stairs making out. I could see Liam at the food table making drinks like cola and rum and pouring shots. Since when is HE a bartender?
Lilah ran up to him and gave him a peck on the cheek. He turned and it turned pretty strong pretty fast. She grabbed his hand and walked hi up the stairs to his room. Wow. That was fast.
I scouted out the room and I saw Jaxon with some guy friend. Loren I think. He was holding some drink that looked a lot like orange juice and rum. Heavy on the rum. He spotted me and waved his hand … more like wiggled it in the air.
I walked over knowing he probably can't get up. He always does this. He gets really drunk then I end up driving him home and he tries to touch my boobs. I don't like him like that.
"Hey," I said with a disappointed grin on my face. I thought for one time in my life he wouldn't be drunk at a party. But no. He disappoints me once again. He hastily stood up, fell down, and then got back up giggling.
"Hey babe," he gave me a forced hug and pinched my butt.
"HEY! DONT!" I shoved his arm and he made a "pft" sound at me. "Just let's go home. You've already partied enough." He stood up as leaned on me giggling hysterically again.
We stumbled to the car. When we got in I whipped out my phone and texted Lilah:
Hey! Jaxon is super drunk. We're going home. Luv ya!
Okay! I'm havin' a GOOD time with Li. A very good time ;)
Ha-ha, okay. BE SAFE! ;)
I started driving and he was picking at imaginary dirt on his pants. What a weirdo! I pulled my hand over to him and flicked his pants.
"THANKS! THAT WAS BUGGIN' ME!" Okay. He needed to stop drinking. It isn't even legal yet. What will he be like when it is? Yikes...
"I'm going to take you home, Hun." I told him. "And I will see you tomorrow, okay?" He nodded his head slowly. He was going to pass out soon. Oh boy ... I got to keep him talking or else he was going DOWNHILL FROM HERE
"So Lilah was telling me how she and Liam are going to be married one day. She wants brown and pink for her wedding colors. I know we will be married one day. We love each other. I like the colors blue and white. What do you think?"
"Hmmm ... uurggglllll..." He wiped spit that drooled down his face on his arm. Ew.
"...but we have prom first," I continued, "And I want to wear a wedding dress. I know I can't, but its a little dream of mine. Silly, right? I know, but a blue and white gown. Maybe with one arm strap. Cute, right?" We stopped at a light, and I turned to look at him. Oh CRAP! He's out. Crap, oh crap!
Ugh! I'll have to get him up later. The light turned green and I put my foot on the gas. Then I saw the lights of another car ... BANG!
I woke up to immense amounts of white and light. I squinted.
"Should heaven hurt your eyes so much?" i asked myself. I was sure I was dead. That's the only place there could be so much light. I sat up "OW! DAMN IT!" My head. It hurt so badly. There was a major sharp pain in my head. I fell backwards and closed my eyes.
When I opened them again, my mom was leaning overtop of me, with my aunt sitting on the corner of the bed. They both had concerned looks on their faces. When they noticed I was awake, my mom raised her hands and said "Thank-you, god!"
"I'm alive?" I asked, skeptical.
"YES! YES YOU ARE!" My mom squealed in obvious relief. Tears started running down her face, as my aunts. My aunt grabbed my hand, and kissed my forehead, whispering "I love you" so quietly she probably can't even hear it.
"Where's ... where's Jaxon?" I groaned, trying to speak
"I'm so sorry sweetie. He didn't make it... "
