So I started watching the 2012 TMNT series again and like... wow, I totally forgot how good it was. At least, through season 2.
I wouldn't call this a shameless self-insert, only because this was written with much shame. Prepare for multiple chapters of this tomfoolery.
"So, is it a girl?"
Blake watched, amused, as Jules toppled to the floor from his perch on the windowsill. "I don't know what you're talking about," her brother said, scrambling to his feet and trying (read: failing) to mask the sheepish expression on his face.
Blake leaned against the sofa. "Are you sure? You've been sneaking out a lot recently."
"No, I…" Jules cut himself off. "Wait, B, how would you even know?"
Blake shrugged. "It's not hard to notice something that happens every night. I'm honestly surprised Mom and Dad haven't caught on yet."
Jules frowned. "Yeah, I'd like to make sure it stays that way."
"Don't worry, I'm not a snitch," Blake promised.
"Good."
A brief moment of silence passed between the two of them before Blake leaned in to resume her line of questioning. "Where are you going, though? Is it a girl?"
Jules bit his lip. "I can't tell you."
"Oh?" Blake immediately felt herself become infinitely more invested in the conversation. "Why not? Is it super secret ~adult~ stuff?"
She didn't know whether she had hit the nail on the head or she had just sounded too excited, but Jules was looking much more uneasy after her question.
"No, like, I really can't tell you," her brother insisted, putting his hands up. "I'm serious."
"Oh, come on, dude. You're killing me!" Blake whined.
Jules folded his arms. "I'm being serious, B. I can't."
Blake folded her arms right back at him. "Is it something illegal? Is that why? Come on, man, you know I won't say anything." She pantomimed zipping her lips closed.
Jules let out a long, exasperated sigh. "Listen, Blake, I cannot tell you. I want to, but I can't. Please," he leaned down and put his hands on her shoulders, "trust me on this."
Blake pursed her lips, but she could tell her brother was being serious. "...Alright," she finally conceded.
"Thank you," Jules said. His shoulders sagged with relief.
"You gotta stay safe though, ok?" Blake said.
"Gotcha," Jules said, making his way back over to the window.
"And if you ever need help, you know I'm only a call away."
Jules nodded at her before slipping out the window, shutting it behind himself. Blake watched his silhouette as it vanished down the fire escape.
Blake didn't sleep too well that night. It had only hit her that Jules was definitely out doing something illegal and dangerous as she was getting into bed, and that had kept her up until she heard him come back. At 4 am. Two hours before her alarm went off.
Yippee.
She sat at the kitchen table, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram and trying her damnedest not to fall asleep into her cereal bowl.
'I should get some coffee before school,' Blake thought. 'Shame there aren't any good places on the way to the bus stop. Unless...'
Blake was halfway through rerouting her morning commute when her phone buzzed. It was Mikey, some dude who she had started talking to a couple months ago.
[6:32am] DrFlippenstein: hey dude, what's up!
[6:32am] IwatobiIcePick: oh hey man!
The kid had messaged her out of the blue with a funky-but-adorable, "wanna be friends?" Blake had been extremely hesitant at first, but for all his enthusiasm, Mikey seemed equally wary. Apparently, something had happened between him and another online friend that had freaked him out. Blake couldn't relate, but understood.
Blake did feel as if she could trust him, though. Even though she tried to stay cautious, everything Mikey said came off as genuine. Over-excited and a little odd sometimes, but genuine. Harmless.
[6:32am] IwatobiIcePick: haven't heard from you in forever
[6:33am] DrFlippenstein: yeah! i've been a lil busy
[6:33am] DrFlippenstein: saving the world and all that jazz
[6:33am] IwatobiIcePick: oh lol nice
[6:33am] IwatobiIcePick: so it was you who stopped that alien invasion, eh? :p
[6:34am] DrFlippenstein: shell yeah it was! me and my brothers toooootally wrecked that technodrome
[6:34am] IwatobiIcePick: oh haha sick dude
Blake honestly didn't know whether or not to believe him. On the one hand, something had taken down the, as Mikey called it, technodrome; on the other hand, the odds that it was Mikey and his ever-so-mysterious brothers were very slim.
She figured it really didn't matter in the long run.
[6:35am] IwatobiIcePick: so, whatchu gonna do now that the evil is defeated?
[6:35am] DrFlippenstein: oh yeah dude i wanted to tell you
[6:35am] DrFlippenstein: we can totally hang out now that the city is safe! isn't that great?
Blake reeled for a moment.
[6:36am] IwatobiIcePick: hold up
[6:36am] IwatobiIcePick: for real?
[6:36am] IwatobiIcePick: like, you wanna meet irl and chill or smth?
[6:37am] DrFlippenstein: yeah man! we can go skateboarding and eat pizza and play video games!
[6:37am] DrFlippenstein: and other best friend things!
'Did he just… call me his best friend?' Blake continued to reel, as if the whole conversation was a massive tuna fish she was struggling to catch. 'He's so precious what the fu-'
"So, what's got you smiling?"
Blake jumped and dropped her phone. "Oh my god, Jules, don't do that."
Her brother laughed. "It's only payback for last night." He sat down at the table across from her, cracking open a canned coffee - wherethehelldidhegetcannedcoffee.
"Is it a boy?" Jules asked at the same exact time Blake said, "We have coffee?"
"I asked you first," Jules said.
"We asked each other at the same time!"
"No, I definitely asked first."
Blake groaned. "Fiiiiiiiine," she said. "He's a friend of mine."
"Just a friend?" Jules teased.
"Yes." It came out a lot more forcefully than Blake intended, but it shut Jules down real quick.
"What's his name?" he asked, taking another sip of his coffee.
"Mikey."
"Have I met him?"
"Nope," Blake said, "and to be honest neither have I."
Her brother came dangerously close to a spit take. "What?"
Blake pretended not to notice how shook Jules looked. "Yeah, we're planning on hanging out today for the first time. I mean, I think we're planning to."
"Are you sure it's safe?"
"Yeah, it'll be fine. We've been talking for months."
Jules frowned into his can. Blake refrained from pointing out how ironic his suspicion was, considering his late night journeys.
"He was even more apprehensive than I was," she insisted. "I'll be safe, don't worry."
Her brother set down his drink. "I don't know, B. People are fishy."
Blake sighed. "You know, I can take care of myself. And I'm going whether you want me to or not."
"I figured you'd say that." Jules finished off his coffee in one fell chug, letting out a tiny burp when he was done. "Ok," he finally said. "But if anything goes wrong, give me a call."
"Gotcha," Blake said, flashing finger guns at him. "So, where's the coffee?"
"In my room. I'll grab you one."
As Jules left, Blake returned her attention to her phone. Mikey had left her at least a dozen messages along the lines of "duuuudue where did you go?" and "hellooooooooooo."
[6:45am] IwatobiIcePick: lol sorry dude, i was talking to my brother
[6:45am] IwatobiIcePick: i'd be totally down to hang out though!
[6:45am] DrFlippenstein: awesome dude! :D
[6:45am] IwatobiIcePick: where do you wanna meet?
[6:46am] DrFlippenstein: uhhhhhhhhh
[6:46am] DrFlippenstein: how about Murakami-Sensei's place?
[6:46am] DrFlippenstein: he invented pizza gyoza for me and my brothers!
[6:46am] IwatobiIcePick: pizza… gyoza? like, dumplings?
[6:47am] DrFlippenstein: yeah dude! they're so awesome!
[6:47am] IwatobiIcePick: they sound like glorified hot pockets
[6:47am] IwatobiIcePick: i'm in
[6:47am] IwatobiIcePick: how does like… 7-ish sound? for meeting up?
[6:47am] DrFlippenstein: perfecto
Blake locked her phone just as her brother returned with her coffee.
"Don't drink it all at once," he warned, "you'll crash by 2."
"Gotcha." Blake threw the can in her backpack. "I'll see you after school, Jules!"
"Have fun!" Jules shouted as she left the apartment.
Even though she was exhausted, Blake walked with a spring in her step all the way to the bus stop.